


Immersion

by Nellie_Raine



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: A little angst, Action/Adventure, Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Romance, F/M, Slow Burn, Superpowers, Work In Progress, more near the end, possibly sad ending?, quite a bit of fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2019-06-01 16:01:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 29
Words: 137,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15146693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nellie_Raine/pseuds/Nellie_Raine
Summary: This is a story based on the oneshot: "You wake up next to your favorite fictional character."Waking up with the god of mischief in my bed did not turn out to be as fun as I thought it was going to be.Instead, it launched me on a path that I'd only ever dreamed of taking; Traveling to a world that I had previously known as fiction, meeting the real life representations of characters I idolized, and facing difficult realizations about the reality of their lives and the part I was soon to play in them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a slightly updated, re-named version of the one posted on my Quotev page (link: 
> 
> https://www.quotev.com/story/10037720/Origin)  
>   
> And it is the first work I have posted on here, so if you notice anything weird about the formatting, etc. please feel free to let me know!  
>   
> I've a youtube playlist that I've made available for anyone interested as well! I thought it would be fun to share the music that inspires me and it should allow you to add songs that you think relate to the story!  
> (link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkLljI0RTlRYVhrPD93MuHl9clviJQSzZ&jct=YiKCKmJFsGcESDpgHIM01YX-nuAKnA)
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A college girl gets the surprise of a lifetime when she wakes up next to the god of mischief.

One of the best things in the entire world is waking up without an alarm. When you have nothing to do, and you can take your time waking up. You slowly come to awareness, maybe stretch your arms and legs. If the room is cold, you can snuggle under your warm blankets until you're ready to come out, no rush.

Yes, that is one of the best things to experience. That is until you stretch, decide you needn't get up yet, roll over, and brush against someone laying next to you. Sure, it would be fine if you had a significant other. You might snuggle closer to them for warmth, drape your arm over their sleeping form, and release a contented sigh.  
  
I am, however, single and I could distinctly remember falling asleep alone the night before.  
  
The second I felt the warm body of someone else sleeping next to me, I froze. There was no reason whatsoever for there to be another person in my bed. I was atop my loft, in my college dorm, and the only other person who was supposed to be in the room, was my roommate, Brittani. I struggled to control my panicked breathing. I didn't want to wake the other person. It would be hard enough to figure out what to do when they were sleeping, it would be that much harder if they were awake.

I kept my eyes closed tightly, trying to think on how this was possible. If I were back home, I would assume it was my sister, or my friend Ruby. Both of them had, on occasion, jumped into bed with me unexpectedly. But I wasn't at home. I was three hours away from home. Thinking about it further, I could distinctly remember locking the door the night before. So there wasn't a way for anyone to get into the room. Logically, that left only Brittani, but I couldn't think of any reason for her to be there.

The longer I lay there, the stronger my curiosity grew. I mean, if they had wanted to kill me, they would have, right? It was probably just Brittani playing a prank. A stupid, meaningless, nonsensical prank. Slowly, I opened my eyes. It took a minute for my eyesight to adjust, as it was still fairly dark in the room. I was laying closest to the wall, facing the back of the person laying next to me. Immediately, I could tell that it wasn't Brittani. Whoever it was, they were definitely male. His broad shoulders rose and fell as he slept. The blanket covered the majority of his body, with only the top of his head peeking out. From the looks of it, he had dark, perhaps even black, hair. I glanced over the top of his shoulder and saw that Brittani was not in her bed. There were only two explanations for that. Either she had gone to the bathroom, or she was sleeping on the futon below me.

A little bit of hope died in my chest. I had been hoping that she would be in her bed, where she could see me, and I could somehow signal her for help. Unless... the man had killed her and had just crawled into bed with me as a cruel joke? My heart rate picked up even more. What was I supposed to do?

After a few minutes of debating, I decided that I would try to sneak out of bed and go for help. I didn't know why this man was here, but I sure as hell hadn't invited him.

It took me a couple more minutes to gather the courage to move. When I finally did, shifting my body so that I could slowly sit up and crawl to the end of the bed, the man also shifted. My breath caught in my throat and all my muscles tensed, prepared to flee. The blanket had moved enough that I could see the top half of his torso. He was wearing a loose fitting, dark green, long sleeve shirt. His skin was pale and his hair was long, almost touching his shoulders.

For a moment, my heart stopped beating. Was this man who I thought he was? He couldn't be. There was no way... At this point, my curiosity definitely got the better of me. I leaned over, getting as close to the man as I dared. His face was angled down, half of it buried in my pillow, but I could make out most of his features; High cheekbones, straight nose, long, dark eyelashes. I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again to determine if I was really seeing what I was seeing. I was. It was Loki, and there was no denying it, at least not in my mind. I couldn't help but open my mouth in surprise. He looked just as I had always imagined him, similar, but not exactly, as he looked in the movies. If anything, he was even more beautiful. Not to say that Tom Hiddleston wasn't attractive, of course, but this man held an otherworldly beauty.

I was shocked. But then, the reality of the situation set in. Loki, the Norse god of mischief, was sleeping in my bed. While I adored the character who was portrayed on the movie screen, even to the point of writing a couple of fan-fictions about him and buying two t-shirts with his face on them, I knew I was in big trouble.

Sure, it was nice to think that he would behave as he had in my fan-fictions, but I knew otherwise. This was the real Loki, not my idealized version of him and not the Disney-fied quirky villain. He was a god, and not someone you wanted to mess with if the myths held any semblance of truth. He had killed before. And played deadly tricks that even other gods had not been able to escape. If he was here, I could only assume that there was a likely chance of my own death soon after he woke up.

Now I was very afraid to move. Even if I managed to get down off my loft, who could help me? I started to rethink my next action. Luckily, or perhaps, unluckily, for me, I didn't have to make any further choices. Loki shifted once more, this time completely rolling over to face me, and opened his brilliant green eyes that were somehow visible even in the half light of morning. Without thinking, I lurched backwards, away from him, and wacked my head against the wall behind me. I barely felt it, instead scrambling towards the end of the bed and attempting to climb down the latter while my legs were still entangled in the blanket. I made it about halfway down before the blanket snagged, pulling up the foot that was still caught in it, and causing me to crash to the ground. I landed flat on my back, the wind knocked out of me. I spotted Brittani lying on the futon. She was now awake, sitting up and staring at me in confusion.

"What are you doing?" She slurred, still half asleep. I tried to form words, but I couldn't seem to get enough air, instead left gasping for breath. I heard a man, Loki, chuckle as he peered over the edge of the bed down at me. Brittani was immediately wide awake. Her eyes shot up and studied the bed above her. "What was that?"

She couldn't see that there was someone in the bed, but she could hear him, "Is someone up there?" She flipped her blanket off of her legs, letting fall to the floor.

Suddenly, Loki's face disappeared, and the he reappeared standing above me, in full armor. Having regained my breath for the most part, I crawled backwards away from him, only able to move about a foot before my back hit the pipes leading to the heater. I yelped in pain, as it was getting colder outside, and the pipes were scalding hot. Brittani also retreated as far away from him as possible, leaping from the futon and climbing up into her bed on the other side of the room.

"Well, this has certainly been amusing. I have to say, I was hoping for such a reaction. I am not disappointed." Loki said, appraising us both.

"What're you...? How...?" I stuttered, trying to make sense of the situation. It was so much harder to get a grip when he was standing in front of me. I just couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that this was happening.

"That is the question, isn't it?" He sighed and straightened the cuffs of his shirt, "I suppose I should tell you, if only to get that baffled, doltish look off your face. You see, I have been forced to come here against my will, as punishment for my crimes." He said "my crimes" as if he thought that was the wrong word for his actions. "Seeing as it worked for Thor, Odin thought it would be fitting to send me to live among mortals, so that I might learn a lesson in humility." He face twisted into a scowl.

"But why-- why us?" I was a little less afraid now that he hadn't made any move to kill me. Although, I was still very cautious and picked my words carefully. Seeing as it had worked for Thor? Was he referencing Thor's banishment in the movie? But, that hadn't actually happened? Had it?

He looked down at me with light contempt, "Why you, you mean? Because Odin has a sense of humor, I suppose. So, until I am allowed back into Asgard, I will live with you, Midgardian. And, unfortunately, I must do whatever you say." He leaned down towards me, his eyes narrowing, "But I warn you against thinking that you have control over me, mortal. There will be consequences if you think you can take advantage of this situation."

I stared up at him, my eyes wide. Loki, a character that I had idolized since his first appearance in the movie Thor, someone who I had written multiple stories about, read countless stories about, and joked about being my boyfriend, was now going to live with me. And he was obligated to do whatever I said.

This would be interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

I looked up from the futon where I sat holding an icepack to the back of my head. Loki stood over my desk, picking up my belongings and studying them with little interest. I was too overwhelmed by him being here to ask him to stop. If it wasn't for Brittani standing cautiously at the door, eyes shifting back and forth from the deity standing casually in our room to me, her injured roommate, I might have believed him to be a hallucination.

"Well, I'm going to go to class now. Um, bye." Slowly, she left the room, closing the door gently behind her. I didn't have class for another hour, but getting ready for it was the last thing on my mind. Loki looked over his shoulder at me, narrowing his eyes, "Are you just going to sit there and stare at me?"

My earlier fear had, for the most part, dissipated since I wasn't in any immediate danger, and now it was replaced with annoyance. Why did I have to be stuck with this... this god, who obviously didn't want to be here and was most definitely going to make my life a living hell? What did I do to deserve this? Was this one of those wishes gone wrong? I didn't remember at any point finding a monkey's paw or genie's lamp.

It was too early in the morning to deal with his smart ass much longer. I took a moment to come up with the snarkiest remark possible, "Sorry if I'm struggling to wrap my mind around some conceited deity showing up in my bed in the middle of the night and telling me that I'm stuck with him until some other deities I don't even believe in decide his punishment is over." I stood up stiffly and walked over to my closet, picking out the clothes I was going to wear. At least once I went to class I could get away from him. I had never felt more excited to head to Spanish.

He huffed out a breath of air, "Do not act as though you have not dreamt of me in your bed prior."

My face flushed immediately, and I was grateful I was in a position where he couldn't see it. He wasn't wrong, but I couldn't let him know that. And besides, this wasn't exactly what I had pictured. I slammed the closet door and brushed past him to leave the room.

"Where are you going?" He asked, making to follow me.

"Somewhere you're not wanted. Stay here." Immediately following those last two words, he froze up, unable to follow me through the door. I stopped, my brows raised in surprise. So that was how this whole thing worked; he really did have to do whatever I said. I let out a short laugh at his obvious anger, and shut the door in his face. Once I was safely across the hall in the bathroom, I breathed a sigh of relief. Taking a moment to gather my senses, I stared in the mirror. This was actually happening. Loki was in my room, and he was spellbound to me. Holy shit. _Holy shit._ It was going to be a very long day, week, month, or who knew how long. Gods supposedly lived a long time, so as far as I knew, I could be stuck with him for years. My heart shriveled up a little at the thought. This was a dream turned into a nightmare. I silently asked God what I had done to deserve this. My phone buzzed in my robe pocket, interrupting my silent plea. I unlocked it to find a text from Brittani: _I wasn't dreaming right? Loki really was in our bedroom this morning? Because otherwise I had a crazy dream I need to tell you about lol._

I quickly typed a response: _No, not a dream. Unless we're both still sleeping._ I pinched myself to double check.

"Now, I've got to go to class." I said, forty minutes later, shouldering my book bag and glancing at my phone. "I'll be back around one." I paused to wonder if he knew what that meant. Did they measure time the same way? Probably a ridiculous question. He stood from where he had been sitting at my desk. I frowned, "Uh, you're not coming with."

"Excuse me, I forgot how dim you humans are, so I will repeat myself once again. I must stay with you wherever you go." He said slowly, looking down his nose at me.

"Yeah, I get that Sherlock. But I was just perfectly capable of leaving the room without you, so...?" I crossed my arms over my chest. I hated being made out as dumb or inferior. I couldn't think of anyone who didn't. And it was about infinitely worse coming from someone who I adored; even if he was obviously not the same Loki I watched on the big screen, he looked like him, and that was enough.

"Yes, but we were still fairly close to each other, just across the hall, I assume? I do not know the limits of this connection, but I am certain that it does not stretch beyond this building, perhaps even less."

I was too disconcerted with the turn my life had taken to bother listening to him, "Let's test it, shall we?" And without another word, I left the room and for the second time that morning, shut the door in his face. I made sure to lock it and headed down the hallway toward the exit, glancing over my shoulder a few times. He did not follow me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Though she tries to get him to fly under the radar, Loki makes it clear he will irritate her to no end.

I made it about halfway down the stairs before Loki appeared right next to me, "Holy--" I jerked away from him out of surprise, nearly tripping down the last few stairs if it weren't for him catching my arm at the last second. How did he get here so fast? He had quite literally appeared out of thin air. I steadied myself and glared at him accusingly, yanking my arm out of his grasp, "I thought I made it clear you were supposed to stay in the room?"

He glared right back at me, his arms crossed loosely over his chest, "And I thought I told you that it would not be possible."

I rolled my eyes as dramatically as possible, checking my phone to see that I really didn't have the time to argue, "Did you at least lock the door?"

"I did not use the door."

"What do you mean? Did you climb out the window?" I asked sarcastically, continuing my decent down the stairs in a bit of a hurry. He followed, though at an agonizingly slow pace. He looked at me condescendingly (which was pretty much the only way he looked at me), "No. I would have gladly stayed in the room. After thinking about it, I realized I would prefer not to interact with more of you Midgardians. The magic used to keep me here against my will transported me to your side."

Well, that certainly dampened my mood further. I couldn't go any farther than down the hall without him being there? How was I supposed to go about my life with him as my shadow? How could I enjoy my college experience with a murderous fictional character forced to be at my side? I tugged my scarf up so that it covered the bottom half of my face from the cold. Because he was driving me crazy and because our conversation wasn't really going anywhere, I ended it there. We made our way in silence. While faster, taking the bus was hardly an option. I did not want to be with him and a bunch of college students, crammed into such a small space. A group of frat guys walked past me as I reached the bridge that crossed College Creek, laughing and giving strange looks to the person behind me, Loki. He had been walking several feet behind me, which I was fine with since seeing him made it difficult to function. I turned back to look at him, wondering what he could possibly be doing to make them laugh. I realized then that he was still in his Asgardian armor, looking like a cosplayer who'd taken a wrong turn. I came to a halt and hurried back towards him, grabbing his arm and pulling him across the bridge. His surprise and disbelief in me doing such being the only reasons he probably allowed me to pull him anywhere. A few feet beyond the creek, there was a low ceilinged concrete tunnel created by the parking ramp overhead. I took him there, out of sight of anyone else. "You need to change your clothes so that you fit in." I hissed. The last thing I needed was him attracting attention. I didn't want people recognizing him, though I doubted they'd realize it was actually him.

He looked me up and down in obvious distaste, evidently not liking the idea of the average college student's clothing, "I will not."

I let out a short, humorless laugh, still a little bit in denial about any of this happening, "You don't have a choice. I-- I command you to change your clothes so that you fit in." I put my hands on my hips, attempting to look authoritative. "Now."

He stared at me for a good minute, unmoving, as though he thought if he looked threatening enough, I would change my mind. If he'd kept it up any longer, I might have.

"You do know there will be a point when I am no longer under your control, and nothing will be able to stop me from killing you." He said, a forced smile on his face, "I would love to hear what you dare demand of me then."

A guy who had been about ten feet from us came to a hesitant stop and turned around, apparently deciding that he'd rather not walk past the tall, dark psychopath in weird medieval clothing. I wished I could walk away. If I was completely honest, his words turned my blood to ice, and my heart definitely did start to pound harder in fear, but I knew that I couldn't show him that he got to me. That would only give him more power, and he had enough as it was.

I swallowed my terror and tried to keep up the sarcastic demeanor I had ~~so convincingly~~ adopted. "Wouldn't killing me, or anyone, for that matter, get you in more trouble with Odin or whatever? Then you might end up right back in this situation. Not a good move if you ask me." I cocked my hip smugly. His face twisted into a scowl. I guess I had struck a cord there. In the blink of an eye, his clothes changed. Black vans identical to mine instead of his boots, dark jeans, and a green t-shirt that he filled out quite nicely. It helped that he also looked younger than his movie counterpart, early twenties or so. As long as he didn't speak, a highly unlikely event, he would fit in well. Although the lack of a jacket in this weather was strange, I didn't feel like arguing with him any more. I nodded my approval and checked my phone again. Two minutes before class started. I would be late. I groaned in frustration, "Come on, we're going to be late."

The rest of the trek across campus was more or less uneventful. Those attracted to men checked him out, others who saw him as competition looked on in jealousy. It appeared that a change in attire didn't do much in preventing unwanted attention. Personally, I was fuming, given the morning I had been through and the fact that Loki turned out to be the slowest walker in existence. Several times I considered leaving him behind, but having him teleport in the middle of campus wasn't exactly a surefire way to have less people look at us. By the time we made it to Spanish class, in was fifteen minutes after my profesora had taken attendance. The class was going about the first activity, the one we did every day, where they were given prompt questions and had to go around having conversations with each other. There was a popular Hispanic pop song playing in the background. Normally, if I was late, I would quickly go to my seat and go about my work. However, I felt the need to explain the presence of my guest, especially in such a small class. I hurried over to Profesora Rockford.

"" I asked, hoping that she would agree to it and believe my reasoning. I had never known of any non student to sit in on a class, not even one who was possibly transferring, but Profesora Rockford was an unbelievably nice person who let a lot of things slide.

"" 

She turned to Loki, ""

I panicked. I had no idea whether or not Loki spoke Spanish, but I very much doubted it. I was also afraid of him using his real name, as I didn't want it to be recognized. I interjected before he could speak, "" Improvisation was never a strong suit of mine. Loki sent me a death glare, then stepped forward.

"" He said graciously, without any hint of an accent. I stared at him, dumbfounded. Profesora Rockford was immediately smitten. For the next five minutes, they exchanged pleasantries, "Erik" behaving like a complete gentleman. Something I had yet to see from him.

The rest of class was the worst forty minutes of my life. Whenever I got the courage to answer a question, or share something, Loki was right on my heels, ready to correct my grammar or word usage. Now I was the one with murder on my mind. The girls who were a part of my group for the semester project were completely in love with him. They kept asking me how I knew him, who he was, and if he was single. Loki was beyond smug, having found the way to really get on my nerves: be the model student, and not let anyone except me in on how horrible he actually was.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki discovers the existence of fanfictions and the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The possibility of them being the real life stories of other realities comes into question.

Two weeks passed. In that time I had more or less come to terms with the way things were, though I was far from happy.

Loki relished every chance he had to embarrass me in front of my peers. By now, every girl on my floor knew him by (fake) name, and a few had had the nerve to linger in the hall outside of my room, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. When Brittani and I's community advisor questioned why a guy was always with us in our room (all guests were welcome, all hours of the day, but no guest was allowed to stay in a dorm for more than three consecutive days) I had to make up some convoluted excuse about him being a distant cousin who I had grown up with and was close too, and that our parents had told us to help each other out, etc, etc. She didn't seem too convinced, but she had more important things to worry about, like the alcoholics next door, so she allowed it. Loki, refusing to sleep on the futon, had used some enchantment to magically transform my closet into a bedroom of his own. I had yet to see more than a glimpse of it, but from what I had seen, it was large and lavishly decorated. I had to find room for my clothes elsewhere. I chose not to fight him on it, because it gave us both the opportunity to be out of each other's hair for more than a couple of minutes here and there.

We didn't talk much outside of snide remarks, until the day he saw me looking at my fanfictions.

I should of known better than to look at them with him around. But I enjoyed writing them and hated abandoning them for any amount of time.

"What is that?" He asked, his tone flat and annoyed, "Is that my name?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin; I hadn't heard him leave his room, nor notice him walk up behind me and start reading over my shoulder. I slammed my laptop shut, flinching at the sound and hoping that I hadn't just accidentally cracked the screen. "Nothing. No."

"Liar," He spun my chair around so that I faced him in one swift motion, a difficult feat considering the chair was the heavy, wheel-less, wooden one that came standard in all the dorms. "Were you reading something about me?" His voice denoted something more than anger or annoyance for once. It sounded as though he was slightly amused. I think I almost preferred the animosity.

I stared up at him. I didn't have to tell him. I could just demand that he drop the subject, but I had learned very quickly in the last two weeks that even though I had the ability to make him do whatever I wanted, it didn't mean that I wouldn't pay for it later. He was quick to extract revenge by being impossibly mean and difficult.

"It's a fanfiction." I said nonchalantly, shrugging as if it was no big deal. It truly wasn't... Unless one of the characters from it was interrogating you.

"Fanfiction? And that is...?"

I sighed, "It's a story that someone writes using source material from a published work, like a book or movie."

"Who wrote it? Why is my name in it?"

"I wrote it," I said quietly, then, louder, "but to be fair, it was before I actually met you. And it's based off your character from the movies."

He frowned, he knew what a movie was, it was something I had had to explain a few days prior, but he couldn't seem to comprehend that he was in one. "A movie? That I am in?"

"Well, a person that portrays you. His name is Tom Hiddleston. He actually looks quite a bit like you, just older."

"And this movie is about my life?"

I hesitated, "Not exactly. More about Thor, since he's the hero." I ignored the mean look that crossed his face. "You're uh... you're actually the villain, the antagonist, in two of the movies. _Thor_ and _The Avengers_." I went on to try and explain the plot of both movies, but he interrupted me halfway though my explanation of Thor.

"That's impossible." He had sat down on the edge of the futon, looking, for the first time, confused.

"What?"

"How could they know?" He was staring down at his hands. I started to get a little impatient, "Tell me what you're talking about."

He glanced in my direction, "Those events did happen."

It took a minute for me to process, and then I was the one confused, "What? No they didn't."

"Explain the rest of the movie."

I did, and he went on to explain, without a hint of sarcasm, how the events in the movie, up until the very end, were completely accurate. Not in this reality, but in the one he had been sent from.

"Wait, wait, wait, you're from a different reality?" I crossed my legs and leaned forward.

"Of course. You said yourself that these events have not occurred here."

"Yeah, but, another reality? How is that even possible?"

"It is possible that an infinite number of realities exist, side by side, each one consisting of wildly different histories and beings. Asgardians, who do not exist in this reality, have, for the most part, been forbidden to travel between them. Heimdall is capable of seeing into and traveling to some of them, the ones that are the most similar to the one I am from. He was the one who advised Odin to send me here, and the one to figure out a way to send me here, all so that I had no way of getting back without their help. The existence of those movies is likely evidence that someone from this reality, probably unknowingly, has been able to see events happening in my reality, and is passing them off as fictional stories."

I was in complete and utter shock. That meant that the Avengers, and their whole universe, was real. It existed. Stories beloved by millions, beloved by me, were real life events. I would have been overcome with joy if it weren't for the realization that I would never be able to go and see it all for myself.

"That's insane..." I whispered. "Does that mean all fictional stories aren't really fictional at all?"

He shrugged, "It is possible."

"So, when did you get sent here then? The latest movie to have you in it was _Thor: The Dark World_ and that had you on the throne of Asgard, with Odin nowhere in sight. Did you get overthrown?"

"No," he frowned, "as I said, at the end of my battle with Thor and the destruction of the Bi-Frost, I was taken prisoner in Asgard and for those crimes, I was sent here."

My eyes widened, "That means that the events of The Avengers hasn't happened yet. Which means that whoever can see into your reality, can see into the future. Not only what has happened and is happening, but what will. But then, how did they not know about this?"

"The future is not set in stone, I know that for sure. Whoever this midgardian is, they either only saw one possible future, or chose to write about that particular future over all others. Or perhaps they are seeing into a reality where those events have occurred, and not into mine."

"Well I can understand why they didn't choose this one, it's pretty boring. Who would want to make a story out of this?" I laughed.

Loki smiled slightly, "It's possible someone already has."

That was a scary realization, my laugh died off quickly as I thought about such a possibility.

"It's also possible that this happens between the two stories that you know of and that my future is going in the direction that the midgardian has foreseen and written. What happens in this next movie, _The Avengers?_ "


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nellie comes to terms with learning the movies she loves are real, and draws a line Loki suspiciously agrees not to cross.

"I just can't believe it's all real." I said, staring up at the ceiling in the dark of our dorm room. It was near two in the morning. Loki had long disappeared into his room (my closet?), but the conversation we had had earlier that evening was keeping me wide awake.

I heard Brittani shift in her bed, looking at me from over the edge of the safety bar, "It is crazy, but there's always been theories, like the multiverse theory, about such things. But yeah, it's hard to believe when faced with the reality," My lips twitched at the apropos use of that word, "that it is all real." She paused, "That means that Captain America exists too, right?"

I let out a little laugh, she loved Captain America, "I suppose so... I kind of hate that it all exists though."

"What? Why?"

I turned to face her completely, "Because, so what? We live here. In this universe. Where there is no magic or superpowers or anything-" I struggled to find the word, "more. Doesn't it kind of suck that we can't experience all the amazing things we've been dreaming of for years?"

She was silent. The clock ticked closer to three. The heater clicked and buzzed in its spot near the window. I felt my face grow hot. The whole thing made me so unbelievably angry. Ever since I had first watched _The Avengers_ , four years ago, I had been obsessed with superheroes. And even before that, I had loved the idea of magic and superpowers. Abilities that could help you save, or destroy, the world. You could say I was obsessed with power, and you wouldn't be wrong. The power to change the things you thought were unjust. The power to protect yourself and loved ones. The power to be somebody important. Call it a character flaw, or just plain common sense; but it was a part of me. I hated that I didn't know what I was doing with my life. I hated that I felt so powerless and weak. Who was I but someone whose existence would be wiped from history not too long after I had breathed my last breath? What was the damn point?

So it seemed to me to be unnecessarily cruel that the things I had longed for, for years, existed when I thought they didn't, and were so absolutely, completely out of my reach. It made my stomach turn and fingers curl into fists.

"You could always make him take you with him, when he goes back." Brittani said quietly, interrupting my internal meltdown. I shook my head, "I don't even know if he'll ever end up going back. It doesn't seem to me like he's become any less of an evil bitch than he was when he got here. And besides, it's not like he got here on his own. And...." I sighed, "I just wouldn't ask that."

"... Is it because you're afraid?"

"Yes." My voice sounded small. Even I could hear my own fear. "For a couple of reasons. One, because when he goes back, he won't be under my control anymore, and he will definitely kill me if I'm around to give him the opportunity to. He's made that very clear. And two, because I don't think I deserve it, you know? I don't have any powers. It's not like I could join the Avengers or anything." I laughed weakly, humorlessly, "What would be the point of going if all I was going to be is a bystander? I wouldn't be any more important there than I am here."

I could just barely see her nod in the darkness, "Well, if for whatever reason, you do end up going, can you take me with you? I really don't think I'm going to survive the chemistry midterm. And if I'm going to go out, I think I'd prefer if it was in a blaze of glory, by like, an alien invasion or something."

We both laughed for a good five minutes, the moment made more hilarious by how tired we were. When we finally finished wiping away our tears, and managed to hold in the little spurts of giggles that were on the verge of escaping, Brittani added, "And I really want to meet Captain America."

"Me too."

* * *

 

The next morning, after Brittani left for class, I struggled to finish my Spanish homework, and mistakenly thought Loki would help.

"Could you, please, just look at this sentence and tell me whether or not the verb should be in the subjunctive?" I asked, turning to look at him. He was reclined on the futon, his feet propped up, looking annoyed and bored. After our conversation the day before, I had hoped that we had found some common ground, but it seemed as though I was mistaken.

"Why don't you just demand I do it?" He asked, staring at the loft, his hands folded in his lap. It wasn't hard to tell that would be a major mistake. I crossed my arms over my chest, "Because you would just find a way to make me regret it." I took a deep breath and softened my voice a little, "Besides, I feel guilty."

"I would think that you would have no problem ordering me around. Maybe consider it justice since I'm evil and deserve punishment." His voice was dripping with venom. I swung around in my chair fully, staring at him in slight disbelief. Was he really calling me out on what I had said last night? Did it hurt his feelings that I had said that? Why else would he call me out on it?

I chose my words carefully, "Some might consider it justice. I certainly have moments where I want to, but, the way I see it, I'm trying to be the better person."

He swung his long legs off the futon and turned to stare at me directly, "The better person? You are not better than me. You are just some pathetic Midgardian who's desperately trying to make herself feel like she has some worth."

I was slightly taken aback; this was one of the most vicious things he had said yet. I tried not to let it get to me, but it did hurt, especially following the thoughts that had kept me up last night. I felt my eyes grow itchy, but made sure my face remained blank. While I could hold back my tears, my anger was a whole other beast, "Whatever, Loki. I'm not the one who got myself kicked out of my home for being an evil, manipulative bitch who betrayed his family and tried to kill his brother just to get a throne."

He snarled, and I knew that something I had said had gotten to him, at least a little bit. However, he wasn't about to roll over and give in, not by a long shot. "That throne was my birthright---"

"No, no it wasn't. It was Thor's. He's older than you. How did you even come to the conclusion that it was yours?"

"Thor is a bumbling oaf! Idiotic! He would never have been capable of running a kingdom. Even you should be able to see that."

I raised a brow, "Yet he was the one worthy of wielding the hammer--"

"AS IF wielding some overlarge weapon is the best indication of worthiness to rule."

"Don't act as if you didn't slightly believe that, because you yourself tried lifting the hammer after it landed on Earth."

"Pure curiosity."

It wasn't worth arguing with him. "Sure." I snorted and tried to go back to conjugating verbs. I was pretty sure it was in the subjunctive.

"A mere human from a mundane reality such as this wouldn't understand anyway. And I needn't explain myself to you."

I felt heat rush upwards, anger coloring me red. I stood up and walked over to him, looking down at his smug face. I laughed bitterly, "You really don't get it, do you? I know everything there is to know about you, considering you've confirmed that the movies are correct. I've spent hours researching you and your past to write my stories. You don't need to explain yourself, because I already know it all. You're just a self-absorbed, mean, smooth-talking Frost Giant who couldn't handle the truth about your heritage and threw a tantrum like a fucking toddler because you didn't get what you wanted."

He moved faster than I could track, backing me into a corner of the room, hands planted on either side of my head, his face inches from mine, "Watch your mouth."

My heart rate was through the roof, I could feel my pulse in my fingers and toes. I couldn't deny the fear I felt, but I also wasn't going to let him push me around. I had had enough of his attitude, had had enough of being the better person, had had enough of him.

"No, you watch your mouth," I said through gritted teeth, nearly closing the distance between us. I placed my hands against his chest and pushed, "And get the hell away from me." He took a few steps back. I didn't know whether they were of his own free will, or if they were because of my demand. I didn't care. I pointed an accusatory finger at him, "If I'm going to really be stuck with you indefinitely, I think it's about time I make something clear; you are not the boss around here. I am. You don't like it, that's fine, but you have no fucking say, whatsoever. This world may be shitty compared to the one you're from, but it's mine, and therefore I'm the one with the power in this relationship. You will no longer be mean to me, ridicule me, make me look bad in front of my classmates, or anything of the sort. If you can't say anything remotely nice, you're not to say anything at all. Understand?"

He looked slightly taken aback, as though no one had ever talked to him that way before. I supposed no one had. It filled me with delight to be the one on top for once. The rush of adrenaline making my vision sharper and my head a little dizzy. It was the best feeling in the world having that kind of power surge through my veins. I relished it.

"Well?" I asked, as he had yet to answer.

His eyes wandered over me, taking in the set of my jaw, how my shoulders were pulled back and my feet set apart in a fighting stance. His lips twitched, almost imperceptibly, as if he was going to smile. He nodded slightly, just a quick jerk of the head. For a reason I couldn't comprehend, I wasn't reassured.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nellie attempts to get Loki to socialize, hoping for a change in attitude.

I think I've made a huge mistake, I texted Brittani. She was sitting in a beanbag chair across the room, and looked up, confused, when her phone buzzed with my message. I sent a quick glance towards my closet door. I didn't need Loki overhearing our conversation again. After a moment, she nodded slowly and picked up her phone to answer.  


_What happened?_  


I had a fight with Loki this morning, it got so bad that at one point he backed me into a wall  


She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, and I flipped her off.  


_It wasn't like that. More like, oh shit he might be about to stab me. I told him off. I've been trying to be the nice guy, but I just couldn't take it any longer. I commanded that he stop picking on me and now he can't say anything unless it's nice or whatever._  


_It's about time. What's the problem with that?_  


_He doesn't seem mad about it. Hasn't said a word, hasn't even so much as looked in my direction angrily. Just... watches me. It's fucking weird. I swear something is wrong._  


She didn't respond, just shrugged at me. I sighed, setting my phone on my desk. For a moment, after telling him off, I felt like a champion. I'd finally put him in his place and gotten him to shut the hell up. But after a whole day of silence, I felt as though he was still the one winning. It was infuriating and terrifying, and I didn't know how to fix it. Taking it all back, if possible, would only make me look weak. I wanted to be the good guy, try to be the better person and take the moral high ground, but it didn't feel good to do so. And so I had stooped to his level and somehow fallen to the bottom, and that didn't feel good either. No matter what I did, I lost.  


I glanced at the closet door again. I hated him. Every fiber in my being burned when I saw his smug face. Why, oh why, had I ended up stuck with him? It had to be some kind of cosmic joke for how intensely I had obsessed over him. Only, I didn't hear anyone laughing. I picked at my nails, frustrated. When would I finally be free of him? What had the conditions of his punishment been again? He had to learn a lesson in humility? As if. I couldn't imagine him being any less arrogant than he was now. There was no way to convince him he wasn't better than everyone. And certainly no way to convince that he wasn't any better than us Midgardians. I tipped back in my chair, staring at the white ceiling. Maybe I couldn't cure his arrogance, but the least I could do was try. I mean, either that or be stuck with him for the rest of my life. Perhaps bringing him to some social events would help. I had spent the last few weeks avoiding them, it might be nice to go somewhere else than class and the dining hall.  


"Hey, what events are this weekend? Anything you might want to go to?" I asked, turning back to Brittani. She looked up from her phone, blinking rapidly, "Umm, there's crafts in the Workshop on Thursday, they're decorating mugs."  


I imagined sitting in the very small room that went by the name of the Workshop, crammed in between Loki and two dozen other students in the basement of the central building on campus, "Anything else?"  


She ran a hand over her ponytail, twirling the end, "There's swing dancing on the terrace on Friday. It’s going to be unseasonably warm, so they’re taking advantage of it. That would be fun."  


Dancing would be fun, and it would force him to interact with other humans in a less cramped space that provided several quick exits should things go terribly wrong. I nodded, "We should go."  


"Alright. My class runs a little late, so I'll just meet you guys there?"  


"Sounds good."

* * *

"We're what?" Loki asked, leaning against the loft that held up my bed. I threw some of my clothes out of the dresser, searching for one of my dresses to wear, "Going swing dancing."  


"Swing dancing..." He sounded critical, per usual. My back turned to him, I rolled my eyes, tucking a stray curl behind my ear, "It's a type of dance that they did some decades ago. Don't worry," I sent a sly glance over my shoulder, "for the first half hour, they're going to have a lesson so you can learn the basics."  


He leered at me, but I merely smiled and turned back to my search. For some foolish reason, I was feeling confident about this outing. It might have been because he was talking to me again. We'd actually had a civilized conversation the day before, one that had involved smiles. Small, quickly dissipating smiles, but smiles nonetheless! Finally, at the very bottom of the last drawer, I found where I had stuffed my dresses. I picked one up, and let out a dismayed sigh. It was wrinkled beyond belief, and I didn't have time to iron it out. I spun on my heel, holding it up accusingly, "This is why I need a closet to store my clothes. So they don't end up looking like this."  


He looked it up and down, "It's made of poor quality fabric, I think I did you a favor in making it unwearable."  


Ah, there the jerk was. "I thought I made it clear earlier, something nice or you keep your mouth shut."  


"It was merely an observation." He responded innocently. I shook my head, dropping the dress back into the dresser. They were all too wrinkled to wear. I ran a hand over my face, this night was already taking a turn for the worse. My positivity began a steep decline. I looked around at the clothes that were laid out on the ground. It was disappointing that I couldn't wear what I wanted, especially since I loved dresses and took up any excuse to wear them. It was just one more thing that he ruined by being here. Loki walked over and reach into the drawer, picking up the dress I had just dropped. He held it up, studying the lacy details. I made to grab it from him, but he quickly pulled it out of my reach.  


"What are you doing?" I asked, annoyed. I didn't want him picking through my things, and my patience with him was already spread thin.  


"Do you want something to wear tonight or not?"  


I stared at him suspiciously as he ran the lilac colored fabric through his hands. As I watched, the dress slowly changed. The rough material glossed over, now silky and smooth. Light purple gradually turned to a dark green that complimented my red hair. Within less than a minute, there was an entirely different dress in his pale hands. It was absolutely beautiful, like nothing I had ever seen, or at least, not in person. I had no idea what to say.  


He handed it to me, casually, as if he hadn't just done something actually nice for once. I held it carefully in my hands, as if it could dissolve at any moment. It was about knee length, made of satin, with an off-the-shoulder neckline, long sleeves, and a natural waistline. I was stunned. It was simple, but it was perfect. It took me a few seconds to find my voice.  


"... Umm... than-thank you." I had never expected myself to say that to him.  


He shrugged, a sly smile tugging at his lips, "Had to do something so I wouldn't have to listen to you complain."  


I didn't even care that his intentions were sketchy at best. I was just thrilled to have such a beautiful dress to call my own. I glanced up at him, "Now, I don't have any mice to turn into horses, but..."  


"What?" He frowned, confused. I just waved him off, "As long as it doesn't turn to rags at midnight."

Ten minutes later we were arriving at the dance. Dozens of people mingled, making light conversation, waiting for nine o'clock to roll around and the dance lesson to begin. Loki looked tall, dark, and dangerous; wearing all black, his hair slicked back. He seemed more at ease wearing dress slacks and a button up, as opposed to the typical jeans and t-shirt of college students. A couple of nearby girls watched him walk leisurely by, hungry looks on their faces. By now he had to have a reputation on campus as being the one everyone was in love with, despite knowing nothing about him. I walked a few steps ahead of him, relishing the feeling of the smooth fabric against my skin. I was over the moon, even if it felt like I had a ravenous predator at my back. I spotted Brittani in the crowd and called out to her. She hurried over, looking pretty in a cherry red dress and matching lipstick. She slowed as she approached, looking shocked and slightly confused.  


"Wow. Where did you get that?" She gestured to the dress. I jerked my head in Loki's direction, but that only deepened her confusion. I shrugged and took her arm, "Let's go!"  


We hurried down the stairs to the main terrace, where a live band was warming up and where most of the people were waiting. A man and woman from the campus swing club walked in the middle and asked for guys and girls to go on opposite sides of the dance area. Loki stood out like a sore thumb among the group of frat bros and computer science nerds. As much as I tried not to, I couldn't keep my eyes off him. I'm pretty sure he pretended not to notice.  


The instructors spent about twenty minutes showing off some simple dance steps before they asked everyone to take a partner. The crowds merged, and I took a few hesitant steps forward, sticking close to Brittani, trying to make eye contact with one of the guys passing by me so that I could ask them to be my partner. If it all else failed, Brittani and I would dance together. Unfortunately for me, a tall guy with a gorgeous dark brown complexion whisked Brittani away. She sent an apologetic glance over her shoulder, but I knew she couldn't be that sorry.  


"Would you like to dance?"  


I turned to see a guy holding out his hand to me. A little taller than me, with messy blond hair, and a quirky smile. I took his hand, "Of course."  


So began a series of slightly awkward, but fun encounters with other college students who luckily were just as bad as I was at dancing, with only a few exceptions. I wasn't usually so outgoing, but the atmosphere was upbeat and everyone was at least a little uncomfortable, which made it easier. My mind never strayed too far from who I had come with, though. I did my best not to search the crowd for him at the end of every song.  


An hour or so later, I found myself without a partner, so I drifted to the edge of the terrace, sitting on the waist high wall that lined the side closest to the street. I allowed myself to search the crowd for Brittani and Loki. Brittani was easy to spot, her red dress flaring out as her partner spun her in circles. She tilted her head back, laughing, stray strands of straight brown hair framing her tanned face. Loki was harder to find, what with wearing all black, but I eventually caught him sulking in a far corner, half hidden in shadow. A couple of nearby girls chatted and looked at him nervously, as if debating whether or not to ask him to dance. As I watched, one of them mustered enough courage to approach him. I couldn't hear what was said, but I could tell she was shot down almost immediately. I frowned. The song ended and another started up in it's place. Still, Loki stayed where he was, watching the party through half lidded eyes. Had he danced at all?  


More time passed, and already some people had begun to leave. I watched Loki for the next few songs, and not once did he accept a dance from someone, declining offers from several girls and a couple of guys. Despite wanting to do my own thing and have fun, the fact that he wasn't participating bothered me quite bit. I found myself turning down offers just so I could stay where I was and observe him. What was the point of bringing him here if he wasn't going to interact with anybody? How did he expect to learn anything by standing on the sidelines? There was no way he was going to learn to respect and appreciate others by distancing himself. I waited another two songs before taking action. Even though I didn't really want to, I figured I would go over and ask him to dance myself. I wouldn't force him; he wouldn't learn anything that way. I would just give him the opportunity. Besides, despite being almost certain that he did it for his own benefit, he had done something nice for me, and I felt compelled to do the same.  


He caught sight of me when I was still a couple of feet away, and inclined his head in a somber greeting. I stood next to him, watching the crowd as he was. I was a little nervous; I thought he might snap at me if I asked, so it took me a moment to find the confidence.  


"Have you danced with anyone tonight?" I asked, not looking at him.  


"No."  


"Would you like to dance with me?"  


The words lingered in the air for a very long minute. Eventually, I braved a glance up at him. He was staring at me with narrowed eyes.  


"Was that a demand?" He asked.  


I cocked my head to the side slightly, "No. It was a question."  


He continued staring at me, appearing suspicious. I was starting to feel confused. Why was he staring at me like... well, like I would stare at him if he had asked me to dance? Did he think I had some villainous plot planned against him or something? My heart sunk a little with pity, and guilt. I didn't want to feel bad for him, he said and did some horrible, horrible things, but it was like no one ever did anything nice for him. Like people always had bad intentions. Like he didn't trust anyone. And evidently, I had done nothing to make him believe I would be any different than those who had made him think that way. I went from feeling bad to feeling awful.  


I offered my hand, "I just think, I don't know, maybe it would be better than standing over here alone?"  


He looked down at my hand hard, like he was committing it to memory, or hoping that it would disappear. Just as I was about to withdraw it, he reached out, and hesitantly placed his hand in mine. His fingers were cool and slightly calloused. I smiled in disbelief. Maybe I could change things. I led him towards the center of the terrace, where we would have more room.  


"Now, I don't suppose you were paying attention during the lesson?" I asked in a somewhat teasing tone. He lit up a little, taking my other hand and spacing his feet apart as the instructors had shown us. The next song began, and he proved he had been paying attention. Or at least knew something about dance prior. He was better than me, which meant I had to keep my eyes on his feet in order to keep up most of the time. Luckily, he was leading, so all I need do was follow. He transitioned into one of the more complicated spins, twisting me out, and then back towards him. My skirt flared out dramatically in the process. I laughed, forgetting for a moment all the things I didn't like about him. I shook my head slightly after a couple of more spins, "Is there anything you can't do?"  


"I'm not sure I know what you mean." He replied, knowing exactly what I meant. The song ended and another was quick to take its place. He never slowed his pace, and so I hadn't eve the chance to walk away. I did my best to hide my surprise, elaborating further on my earlier comment, "You speak Spanish, a Midgardian language, fluently, with absolutely no accent. You know how to swing dance, something I can't imagine anyone doing on Asgard. It just seems strange to me that you know all this human stuff, especially for someone who hates humans."  


"I do a lot of reading." He shrugged, lifting his arm. I walked beneath it, twisting so that we were standing a few feet apart and facing the same direction. He then added, "I never said I hated humans."  


I nearly stopped dancing, and he slowed his own in response. I looked up at him. We were nearly face to face, what with me wearing my nude high heels. My eyes were just about level with his nose. "Could have fooled me." I said quietly, almost at a whisper. I continued dancing, although with less enthusiasm than before. He didn't hate humans? It was hard to believe considering all the trash talk and insults. I was annoyed, enraged, with him saying it. Of course he hated us, why be such a dick otherwise? The more I thought about it, the more pissed off I became. He couldn't just pick and choose when to be nice. Give it to him to ruin a whole evening with six words.  


He spun me around in a more complicated move that ended with both of our arms crossed in front of me, my back to his chest. I could feel his breath on my hair. It was too much for me to take. For the first time, I took control, spinning myself out of his grasp and back to the beginning position, with us at a more comfortable distance apart. I could no longer meet his eyes. The song ended a moment later, and I dropped his hands from mine as if they were burning hot, and stalked off the terrace.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki makes an offer that's hard to refuse when he reveals he knows how to break the spell.

I was beyond frustrated with how things had gone the past few weeks. Beyond frustrated with the pain-in-the-ass Norse deity who I had to babysit. But mostly, I was beyond frustrated with myself.  


I had known from the beginning that he wasn't who I thought he was; who I wanted him to be. I wasn't delusional. I knew the difference between fiction and reality, even if the line was becoming blurred. I had kept my distance, putting my anger and fear between us, building a wall so that I would never let myself believe that he could be anything like I had hoped. I wouldn't have been able to bear the disappointment otherwise. Yet somehow, despite all my precautions, he had gotten to me.  


I marched across the street, making my way towards the center of campus where the clock tower chimed loudly. I listened carefully. It was a little after eleven. I slipped out of my heels, relishing the feel of the cool concrete beneath my feet as I continued up the sidewalk. It really was unseasonably warm. It should have been snowing. I didn't really know what I was doing, only that I had to get away and think.  


How could he say that he didn't hate humans? Why was he so amiable and charming around other people? Why did he have moments where he did incredibly nice things? Moments where he seemed vulnerable? What happened to the jackass I woke up next to? Had he really changed, or was he manipulating me so that he could get out of his punishment?  


I frowned angrily as I approached the campanile. That must be it. He hadn't changed. He was just doing what he was known for. God of lying, manipulation, trickery, chaos. A self-serving dick who didn't feel remorse, or compassion. A part of my brain interjected, pointing out that just because he was all those things, it didn't make him any less susceptible to pain, loneliness, sadness. I ran a hand through my hair, fighting the desire to sympathize with him, to feel pity. He didn't deserve me feeling bad for him. Didn't deserve me feeling guilty for treating him terribly. I wished he had just kept up the I-don't-give-a-shit-about-you-or-anything-else-because-I'm-better-than-all-of-this persona. It would be so much easier to hate him then, to not feel this way.  


The light that normally illuminated the alcove beneath the campanile was out, leaving it hidden in dark shadows. Something shifted within that darkness, making me halt in my tracks and take a hesitant step backwards. It was tradition for couples to come at midnight and kiss beneath the campanile, but I doubted they would just be standing there in the dark so quietly, not to mention so early. I took another step back and slowly a shape formed from the darkness. Loki. His clothes had easily blended in so that I hadn't seen him at first. It was the moonlight finally alighting on his pale face that gave him away.  


"Did you follow me?" I was both angered and slightly pleased. Had he felt regret about our conversation? Was he here to see what was wrong?  


"I have no choice, remember?" He retorted, stepping from the alcove, hands in his pockets, returning the attitude I was dishing out. Of course, I had forgotten. He was bound to me. He couldn't care less about how I felt.  


"Right." I responded, shaking my head in irritation. His eyes narrowed, staring me down with an intensity that I had yet to see from him. I couldn't quite meet his gaze.  


"What is your problem?" He asked slowly, each word clearly enunciated for emphasis.  


"Nothing." I muttered. He didn't look pleased with that response.  


"You're a terrible liar."  


I scoffed, "Because I'm not a liar! I believe in telling the truth and I try to be as honest as I can. Unlike you, I don't want to manipulate the people around me or pretend to be something I'm not."  


He smirked, "Well, now you've lied not only once, but twice."  


"Stop. Just stop. I'm so sick of your shit!" I shouted, taking a few steps towards him. "I didn't ask for this! I didn't ask to get stuck with you, forced to deal with your insults and lies and manipulation. And I sure as hell shouldn't have to deal with it, with you!" I felt my eyes burn and blinked furiously. I was notorious for crying when angry. Luckily, I had avoided displaying such vulnerability in front of him so far, and I wasn't about to let that change.  


He crossed his arms over his chest, but his mouth remained closed. Somehow, this was even more infuriating than him telling me off.  


"You're not going to say anything?"  


I thought I caught a hint of pity in his eyes and, furious, I closed the distance between us, "Don't you dare take pity on me. I don't need it. I didn't completely fuck up my life. I didn't get kicked out of my family, out of my reality. Forced to live with a stranger and do their bidding. Feel sorry for yourself, not for me."  


"I feel pity for us both. We're not so different, you and I. Actually, we're so much the same that I'm honestly astonished you haven't seen it yet."  


Surprise quickly replaced nearly all the anger in my system, leaving me feeling hollow and confused, " _What?_ "  


A brisk wind rustled the leaves in the trees around us. Swing music played softly in the background. Loki sighed, looking down at me with a strange expression. "For just a moment, stop seeing in black and white. I'm not the villain you think I am. And you're not as innocent as you make yourself out to be. You condemn me for wanting someone who nearly killed one of his close friends for the sake of his ego off the throne; Someone who I have seen make many mistakes, someone who obviously lacks the diplomacy that ruling demands. I admit, I have let my anger and my desperation to prove myself get the better of me at times, but my intentions were always centered on protecting the only home I have ever known, even if it isn't truly mine. Yes, I want power, because I think I am the best choice to wield it. Now, tell me that you do not desire the same."  


I stared up at him, scrambling to build my defense, to prove he was wrong. He cut in before I could get a word out.  


"I've heard what you wish. I know that you want to be more than you are. I see the same drive and ambition within you that live within me. You are not afraid to do less than savory things to achieve a feeling of power and command. I see how there are times that you relish the control you have over me. It makes you feel important. I imagine that, if given other opportunities, you would not hesitate to extort that power in order to achieve your goals, likely in the name of the greater good. _Exactly_ as I have. Nellie, you are no different than I, and you need to stop pretending otherwise."  


My phone buzzed in my bag as I stood there, trying to find the words to say. I wanted to yell at him, to prove him wrong, to show that I was so much better than him. But I couldn't, because he was right. He was absolutely right. And I was an absolute hypocrite.  


"... So what?" I said, finally, with a shrug that was meant to look nonchalant but probably relayed how tense I was. "What does it matter anyway? I don't act on it. I don't have any way to act it. At least, not until recently. I wasn't born with the privilege you have, had. A life in another world where such amazing things exist. Where people can have such amazing abilities." The longing in my voice was evident. I didn't try to hide it.  


His demeanor changed. His voice became low, husky, as he said, "We could change that, you know." I suddenly felt uncomfortable with how close we were standing to each other, but I didn't dare take a step back. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me retreat.  


"What are you getting at?"  


He smiled, "There are ways of giving you what you desire."  


I narrowed my eyes, I wasn't about to fall for one of his tricks; but my curiosity wouldn't let me walk away, either.  


"How?"  


He turned away, speaking with his back towards me, "Set me free."  


"I can't do that." I scoffed, both because I didn't have the ability, and because, if I did, I didn't think I would.  


"Oh, but you can." He slowly made his way up the couple of stairs that led to the alcove underneath the clock tower, spinning on his heel once he reached the top so that he was facing me once more. I nearly rolled my eyes. He had such a flair for dramatics. I imagined that, if he had been born and raised as a human, he would have turned out to be one of the more pretentious theatre kids in high school. And that was coming from me, an arguably pretentious theatre kid myself.  


"After a great deal spent wondering how to break this wretched binding, I think I have discovered the solution. And it is you."  


"I'm not following."  


"I was inclined to believe, at first, that only Odin had the ability to release me from this and give me passage back to my reality. However, as time has gone on, it came to me that Odin would have no desire to monitor me here, and certainly no desire for me to return. That is why he sent me here instead of banishing me to the earth back home, as he did Thor. The binding was never intended to be broken. And if that is the case, the only way to break the binding is to have you command me to leave."  


I raised my brows in surprise. He had thought about this quite a lot. But, I supposed there wasn't much else for him to do except plan his escape and/or revenge. I wondered how long he had been planning this spiel, it seemed like something he had created ahead of time. I was intrigued by the idea of being the only one able to break the binding, and slightly thrilled, and, admittedly, a little terrified. Having the ability to set him free gave me more power over him than I had now, which was saying quite a bit since I could already force him to do whatever I wanted. I could easily strike a bargain with him, as long as I could somehow ensure that he wouldn't break it, and get whatever I wanted. The only repercussion being that I had to set him free. Then we could both have what we wanted. But could I live with setting him loose? There was a pretty likely chance that he would kill me, and if he didn't, he might cause a lot of trouble running free around this world before he made his way back to his own. And how was he planning on doing that, anyway?  


"Since I don't think you'd bother bringing this up otherwise, I imagine you've found a way back to your reality without having to rely on Heimdall?" I asked.  


He smiled mischievously, "Perhaps."  


"And did it ever occur to you, that maybe it wasn't the best idea to talk about how supposedly power hungry I am before revealing that I may hold more power over you than either of us thought?"  


The mask he had so cleverly composed faltered for a mere moment, "Perhaps."  


I stared at him for a long time, debating my options. In the end, there was really only one choice.  


"No, I don't think I can do that."  


He didn't miss a beat, "I could just take you with me, rip you away from your friends and family. It's dangerous in my reality, especially for one without powers or special abilities. I never needed to ask your permission."  


I was right on his heels, "I could just tell you not to."  


"I'm sure there are ways to keep you from talking."  


I rolled my eyes, "Fine. I command that you can never keep me from saying something, ever."  


His mouth twitched in annoyance, and he changed gears, whipping out further arguments. Oh, he had definitely planned this beforehand. "I promise I will leave immediately. I will never bother you again. You will never have to deal with me, ever."  


That gave me slight pause, it would be so nice to not have to stress about the next argument we might have or the next smart ass remark he might throw at me. But then I remembered the movies I loved so much. He hurt so many people, could I really justify my actions if I let him go knowing he might do as he had on the big screen? "No. You do a lot of damage once you get back. I couldn't live with that. Even if it wasn't on this world." At least here, tied to me, he couldn't do anyone any physical harm.  


He narrowed his eyes, "If those movies truly are the future, then I eventually do find myself back where I belong, no matter what your course of action may be."  


"Perhaps," I shrugged, "but what if the future is still up in the air? And those movies are just possibilities? Or another reality entirely?"  


"If you continue to refuse me, I will find a way out of this, and then I will kill you. Would you really want to bet on those movies then?"  


"What choice do I have? I don't want to take the chance. I couldn't live with it." I was beginning to tire of this back and forth.  


He once again changed gears, this time coming towards me so that he was less than a foot away, looking down with those enchanting green eyes.  


"What if I gave you everything you desired?" He had come full circle with the conversation. I imagined that this was his worst case scenario. He probably wanted to exhaust every other option so that he could avoid having to give me whatever I wanted in exchange for his freedom.  


I stared up at him, my gaze flickering from his eyes to his cheekbones to the small dimple just to the right of his perfectly shaped lips, "And what do I desire?"  


He leaned in. I could feel his breath on my face. My heart sped up. I could hear the blood rushing in my ears.  


"Power, status, recognition, maybe something... more. I have a lot of influence, a lot of ways of obtaining things, of giving things. You could come with me. I would safely drop you off wherever you should want. Stark tower, perhaps? To play superhero with your idols?" He lifted my chin a little with his thumb and forefinger, I didn't protest, "Maybe you would even like to stay with me? We could have a lot of fun."  


I swallowed, my mind racing. I tried so very hard not to consider what, exactly, he was offering, but I could feel myself leaning in to his touch.  


"Loki," I whispered, and saw his eyes light up. He thought he had me. He leaned in further. He was playing me like a fiddle. But I knew who he was, what he was known for. The strings snapped and the song coming to a screeching halt. I stiffened. "I know who you are. And that's why I'll never believe you would do any such thing."  


He stopped, his lips a hair's breadth from mine. With some difficulty, I stepped away, my hands trembling though I tried to hide it. No matter how many times I saw a softer side to him, he always showed his true colors. He may not be as evil or as awful as I had believed, but that didn't make him a saint either. I didn't trust him. In fact, I didn't think I could ever trust him. It was too risky. He had done too many shifty, treacherous things in the past. One night with a beautiful dress wasn't going to erase that. He had a long way to go before I'd truly believe anything he said.  


I took out my phone, answering a message from Brittani before slipping my shoes back on, "I'm going home."  


I walked away as the clock chimed closer to midnight.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Nellie strike a deal, and on their travels receive some worrying news of the other realities where they cross paths.

I didn't glance over my shoulder as I walked away, although the temptation was great. I expected him to be upset, to say something along the lines of, "you can't just walk away from me", but he was silent. I half wondered whether or not he was even following, but then, he didn't have a choice.

Despite managing to keep a fairly cool exterior, my insides were a swirling mess of emotions. Guilt and regret battled side by side against pride and satisfaction, with confusion whirling amongst them all. Had he truly found a way back to his reality? How? I supposed that he would have no reason to lie about that. And what about me being the only one able to release him? Thinking back to what I knew about his relationship with Odin, it did seem like the type of thing he would do. Not to say he was justified in abandoning his youngest son, but knowing how obstinate Loki could be, it was probably one of the better choices when deciding how best to punish him. I wondered whether or not he expected Loki to ever return. If he truly thought him capable of overcoming his disdain and finding his way back, or if he thought him a lost cause.

Certainly, I had thought he was a lost cause. Most of the time I still did. I couldn't deny, however, that there were moments where I thought that he had changed since we first met. Brief little moments where he asked questions about culture, music, media, and we had small, but genuine conversations. They weren't enough for me to be able to justify setting him free, though. The tactics he had used a few minutes ago had proved him unready. From threats, to compromise, to more threats, to seduction; he had tried it all. The threats I was used to, and had expected. The offer of compromise was interesting, even if I wasn't entirely sure whether he would do as he said, and leave without committing any crimes. Although, I imagined that he was quite restless here, and wouldn't want to stay a second longer than necessary. And the seduction... If that's the proper term to use to describe it. Would he have really taken me with him? And would he have really let me stay with him had I chosen to do so? Had he been leaning in the kiss me? Seriously? Did I really seem so gullible? I couldn't say that the offer wasn't enticing. If anyone claimed they'd have no trouble refusing I'd hardly believe them to be honest. He was more attractive than anyone I had ever laid eyes on before and to say that the power he wielded was a turnoff would be a lie. And there were times he could be genuinely charming and funny. If he had been telling the truth and was willing, he truly could give me everything I wanted. Without a doubt. The question was, how much of it had been a fabrication in order for me to let him go?

It hadn't escaped me that I could just force him to tell the truth. I could have all of these questions, and more, answered. Something held me back though. First, there were definitely a few answers that I didn't want. Second, I was afraid that he would still find a way to deceive me, and I would do something regrettable because of it. Third... forcing someone to reveal all of their thoughts felt like an invasion of privacy. It wouldn't feel right. In my mind, there was no way to get the honest to God truth. Not anytime soon anyway.

I glanced over my shoulder. He was following at a casual pace, so that he was as far as the spell would allow. His eyes were focused on something in the distance, and he seemed to be refusing to make eye contact with me. I turned back, focusing my attention back to the sidewalk in front of me. What if I accepted his offer? What would that mean for my life here? It had always been a dream of mine to go and live the life he was offering, be a part of something bigger, fight evil alongside of my heroes. The thought of leaving my family and friends made me hesitate though. I wouldn't want to leave them behind, wondering where I had gone. And if I went with him to this other reality, that's exactly what I would be doing. I could tell the people I loved where I was going, but they would think me crazy. Still, the temptation was strong. Perhaps I could strike a deal where I could come back and visit on occasion? But it would all be in exchange for letting him go... Was it worth risking my life, or the lives of others, for what I wanted? Especially since I didn't even know if he could, or truly would, deliver on what he promised? My pace slowed as I considered my options.

I stopped and turned to him abruptly, "You said that you had a way to get back to your reality?"

"Yes." He said, matter-of-factly, his gaze cool and indifferent, giving nothing away. He was annoyed that all of his attempts to persuade me had been overturned, but he didn't want me to know that. However, I had lived with him long enough now that I could read his face even when he hid behind such a mask.

"But how do you know for sure if you can't go anywhere without me? Shouldn't it be impossible for you to have tested it out by leaving this reality?"

He sighed, "I haven't actually gone back, I've just discovered the way. I know for sure that it is the correct way, because I have a lot of experience with portals and know what I'm doing when it comes to working with them."

I let a moment of silence pass as I thought over everything.

"Okay." I finally said.

He frowned. "Okay?"

I came to stand in front of him, my arms crossed over my chest, head tilted slightly to the side, "Take me with you. Show me that you're telling the truth, that you're capable of giving me what you say you can, and I might let you go."

He stared down at me, his eyes narrowing slightly, "Oh, I see. You get a little taste of what you want without having to keep up your end of the deal?"

"Mmm, isn't fun to be manipulated, is it?" Oh how the tables had turned. I had to admit, this was fun.

"No, no it's not." He considered me for a brief time, his eyes flickering back and forth over my face as he weighed his options. Eventually he sighed, "Fine."

* * *

"Listen, we don't know how long we'll be gone. Time could be completely different. So keep an eye out and don't freak too much if I'm gone longer than expected." I said as I slipped on my vans, tying the laces up tightly. Brittani looked doubtful.

"What if you're gone for a couple of days? You'll miss classes if you're not careful."

"I know but," I stood and looked at her directly, "think about where I'm going! Isn't it worth it? To get just a little taste of something that I've yearned for?" Her eyes still looked troubled.  
"I need this. I need to just be able to see that it's all real. That somewhere, something amazing exists." A hint of desperation colored my voice.

"Don't you think that once you see it is real, if it is, that you'll just feel worse coming back to life here?"

I paused, pondering her statement. She was right. What if I loved what I saw? What if I didn't want to leave? What if I did leave, and regretted it for the rest of my life? I glanced over at Loki, who was standing off to the side, looking preoccupied with something, though I couldn't see what. Of course, I knew he was listening. And in that moment I realized that he expected exactly what Brittani feared. He knew that there was a chance that I would love what I saw, that I wouldn't be able to resist the temptation to fulfill my wildest dreams, and that I would agree to let him go if it meant that I could stay. This was the final attempt to persuade me, disguised as me taking advantage of his predicament. Once again, he had won. I made a mental note to keep myself in check. I couldn't let my own desires overpower doing the right thing. I couldn't let him go. I was indulging myself enough by convincing him to take me without breaking the spell, that was enough. It had to be.

I turned my attention back to Brittani, "I'll be fine. I promise."

 

For the first time since he had taken over my closet, I was allowed to see what it looked like on the inside.

He had somehow transformed it into a rather spacious bedroom/study, by the looks of it.

It was larger than Brittani and I's dorm room, that was for sure. The floor was a dark colored wood, smooth and polished so that it reflected any light casted upon it. The walls were a dark blue, and nearly entirely covered by bookshelves. Where had he gotten so many books? There was a desk with books in piles on the floor surrounding it. Papers scattered around here and there with vague scribbling on them. The bed was situated on the far side, and layered with dark colored, soft looking blankets. I narrowed my eyes, "All this and you don't even have to pay the thousands of dollars a semester we do."

He shrugged, closing the closet door behind us and producing what looked to be a piece of charcoal from thin air. He began sketching symbols onto the frame. I watched him carefully, unable to understand anything that he was writing, but amazed when sparks started to fly from the tip of the writing utensil, and the symbols began to glow a faint orange. When he finished, orange light flashed briefly around the edges of the door. He turned to me, "Ready?"

I took a few hesitant steps forward, regarding both him and the door warily. "Let me make something clear. We're going there, checking things out, and then coming back here. No tricks."

He smiled, "No tricks." I wasn't convinced. He opened the door and revealed nothing but a blackness that seemed to suck all of the light out of the room. He took my arm, holding tighter when I tried to pull away.

"Relax. Portals are dangerous and hard to navigate." Dangerous and hard to navigate? Worry flooded my system. I did my best to uphold the damn that held it in check. "It's better if we stick close, so that I can direct us both more easily. There's a chance that we may end up separated otherwise."

I frowned, "Wouldn't that be impossible? I mean, you would just end up being teleported to wherever I ended up."

"Yes, and because I'm unable to guide you, you end up in Muspelheim, burned up and dooming me to the same fate. Not to mention I don't know the limits of the binding spell, it may end up distorted as we travel through space and time. And there are a lot of undesirable outcomes to that happening. So while finally getting away from you is appealing, it's not worth my life."

"Well, alright." I nodded, feeling fear blossom in my chest. Perhaps this hadn't been the best idea. Before I could change my mind, however, Loki had pulled us through the portal and into the darkness.

 

Portal traveling was terrifying. It was the constant sensation of falling. My heart felt like it was in my throat, and my stomach felt like it had been turned inside out. There was no wind, like when someone is falling towards the ground from a great height. There's just the adrenaline and fear. The worst part was not being able to see anything, just empty space around us. I couldn't even see Loki. All I could feel was his hand on my arm. I wondered if my eyes were closed. And then it was over.

We stumbled out into a room that looked all too familiar. I bumped into a set of white shelves and nearly knocked over the toaster oven that was sitting on top of it. I caught it at the last second and set it gingerly back in it's place, then glanced around. It was Brittani and I's dorm room, but arranged differently, with decorations and pieces of furniture I didn't recognize. In front of me was a bed made up with gray sheets and the same gray fuzzy blanket I slept with at night. Above a black headboard, a Black Widow poster stared back at me. Oh yeah. Definitely my bed. There was no futon, just a pair a comfy chairs and a small side table. A look out the window told me it was around November or December. Students hustled into the building, talking and laughing, wearing winter coats. I turned to Loki, "Where are we?"

He furrowed his brows, "Looks like we ended up in another reality, but not mine."

"I have a lot of experience with portals, Nellie, I know how to work them." I mocked, earning a dirty look.

"So what reality are we in?"

"There's no way of knowing." Loki said, and turned back to the closet door that we had just come from. The portal was still open, "We should go."

I took a few steps forward into the room, "Wait. I want to see a couple of things first." A black laptop sat on the nearest desk. Above it, pictures were set in frames and strung across the wall. I recognized some of my friends from home. So... this was other me's stuff? I felt a thrill of curiosity go through me. What kind of life was I living here?

I opened the laptop, a Lenovo instead of the Asus I had in my reality, moving my finger across the mouse pad to wake it up. A password prompt popped up. I typed in the same password I had on my own and I was in. I smiled. The date in the bottom right hand corner indicated that it was December 1st, 2017. I gasped, a whole year later than my own reality. That meant that this version of me was a sophomore in college. There were so many things she had to know. I wondered what it would be like to talk to her. Did she have it all figured out?

My thoughts were interrupted by the realization that there was an internet tab open. I clicked it, and my (her?) Quotev page popped up. I shook my head, glad to see that my love of fanfiction seemed to be rooted deeply in who I was. A closer inspection showed that she had a few things I didn't. A sequel to _Killing the Monster_ , which I had considered but ultimately decided against. Oh, what would she give to be in my position? To meet the character she loved so much. I nearly laughed. After reading the description briefly, I scrolled down to see the other stories. Most everything was the same except for one. A story titled Origin. I tilted my head to the side. I had never thought up any such story myself. Without much further inspection, I clicked into it and began to read.

It took me less than a few paragraphs to realize what I was reading. I felt like I couldn't breathe. "Loki." I said quietly. He stopped his inspection of a book he had found sitting on the side table and came over to me, "What is it?"

"This... this is our story." Our story. That was weird to say.

His frown deepened, "What do you mean?"

"Read it."

I moved to the side so that he could lean over the laptop. His eyes flicked back and forth as he quickly read the page. I watched the realization dawn on his face. He stood straight again, looking aghast.

"So, your theory was true. Someone was writing about us. And... it was me."

"It appears so."

We both stared at the laptop warily. There was one question that was on both of our minds. Neither of us had an answer. Neither of us wanted to voice it out loud. Should we read the ending? Was there an ending? Before either of us could make a decision, there was the sound of footsteps and jingling keys as someone began unlocking the door.

Loki grabbed me by the shoulders and launched us both through the portal, somehow managing to close the closet door behind us.

The falling sensation was worse this time, and when we landed I had to clutch Loki's jacket tightly to avoid falling to the ground in a wave of dizziness. I squeezed my eyes shut and swallowed, trying to control the nauseousness that nearly overcame me. Loki's hands held my waist, keeping me steady.

After a moment, when I felt more or less okay, I let go of his shirt. Noticing the wrinkles that had been left behind, I smoothed them over, "Sorry."

"You're fine." He said, sounding oddly detached. We both looked around at our surroundings. We were in an empty, dark alleyway in a large city. It was impossible to tell which city from where we were. Sirens wailed in the distance. It was snowing lightly. The sky was a light gray. The door that had served as the portal was closed, and the orange light that surrounded it was fading quickly.

"Do you know where we are?" I asked. He shook his head, "We will have to look around."

We made our way out of the alleyway and onto the sidewalk. People rushed past us on their way to unknown locations. I pointed at a newspaper and magazine stand, "That might be a good start." He nodded slightly and we made our way across the street, sticking close together in order to avoid losing each other in the busy crowd. I noticed a souvenir shop with t-shirts emblazoned with the New York skyline. So we were in New York. My attitude immediately brightened. This had to be progress.

We reached the stand and began searching amongst the titles. It didn't take long to find something.

"Look here." Loki said, handing me a magazine.

I snatched it from his hands excitedly, recognizing the dark haired man on the cover instantly, despite the fact that the actor who portrayed him in the movies was noticeably much older. Tony Stark. The Iron Man. He was even named so on the cover. I grinned foolishly, thrilled, "We're here then! Or at least... We're in a similar reality. How do we figure it out for sure?"

Loki turned his gaze to the sky. Delicate snowflakes landed in his long, dark lashes. "There's only one way to know for sure. Only one person who would be able to tell us. And I bet he already has his eye on us. The only question is whether or not he's already told the Allfather of our presence here."

I tilted my face towards the heavens as well, although there was nothing to see except the overcast sky. "Heimdall."

"Yes."

"But wasn't the Bifrost destroyed?"

"We have our portals, remember?"

"They've proven to be kind of hard to navigate, though, no offense. What if we end up where we don't want to be?"

"I'm not worried. I am sure Heimdall is watching, and if he is, he will help guide us."

"Isn't he the one that helped implement your punishment? Why would you trust him to help us?"

"If he means to tell of our presence here, it is too late to prevent it."

I nodded slowly, "Let's go then."

 

As it turned out, Loki was right. About Heimdall helping us, that is.

For the first time since using the portals, we managed to keep our footing when arriving at our location. It helped that we had kept a secure grip on each other as we traveled, preventing most of the motion sickness that had (although Loki wouldn't have admitted it) affected us both. Heimdall regarded us solemnly with his gold eyes. We were on the outskirts of Asgard. In the woods surrounding it. Despite knowing that I looked ridiculous, I couldn't help but spin in a slow circle, taking in all of the sights, trying to catch glimpse of the golden city beyond the trees. The stars above were brighter than I had ever seen on Earth. The air clearer. I caught them both watching me and immediately stopped, "Sorry. Can't help but fangirl a little bit. On to business."

Heimdall smiled but it was quick to disappear, "I already know why you are here. And the answer is yes."

There was a silence between us, and I felt that there was something left unsaid.

Loki broke the silence, "Why haven't you alerted Odin?"

"It never works out well when I do that."

"What do you mean?" I asked, running a hand through my hair. Heimdall shifted his stance, looking off into the night sky. "Since your banishment," he directed his words at Loki, "the range of my sight has grown. I have seen much more than before. As you may already know, some events are set in stone and happen across many of the realities, if not all. This is one of them."

"You mean to say other incarnations of me have been banished to other realities?" Loki asked.

"Yes, and, specifically, banished and spell bound to her." He tipped his head in my direction. I stared at him in wide-eyed amazement. What? This happened in multiple realities? To multiple versions of me?

"It was actually by happenchance that I noticed you both today. I have made a habit of watching the other realities where Loki is banished and bound."

"Wait, so, Loki is bound to me in the reality where I'm writing a story about all of this?" That would make some sense. Perhaps the Origin story had actually been just that version of me telling what had happened to her.

Heimdall shook his head, "Not yet, no, but very soon. It is most inevitable in the few realities where you write of it. I imagine you will be very surprised when he does appear to you." It was weird and confusing, talking about myself with them, and awkwardly switching between first, second, and third person pronouns.

"Can we go back to what you said before, about things not working out well?" I asked.

He nodded, "The others have not turned out very well. In nearly all instances where this event has occurred, that is, the banishment and spell, things have gone south very quickly. I mean not to scare you, but you, on occasion both of you, have died and caused a lot of damage to those around you in the process."

Loki and I made brief eye contact.

"How can we avoid that...?" I asked.

"I know that in other instances, I have never intervened, because I thought it was not my place. I only watch. However, knowing what I do and having seen the consequences of inaction, I am inclined to help you."

"And how would you help?" Loki had his arms crossed, and the posture he had adopted made him look defensive. I worried that he would be unwilling to accept help.

"I do not see the future. I know not what will happen in this reality." He looked at me, and I felt myself shrink a little under his heavy gaze, "But I will tell you that you face many dangers, and that you will need to do things that you never thought yourself capable of. Perhaps even unsavory things." He blinked, his eyes seeming to focus on a far off place for a moment, "That is all I can say. I feel any further intervention would be detrimental."

While I felt that Heimdall did have the best intentions, the advice he gave only made me feel frustrated. How could knowing we would mistakes help? Why not tell us what mistakes to avoid? Would it really kill us to know more? I wanted to object, but I also knew that he wouldn't change his mind. He turned his attention back to us, "It is time for you to leave. I will guide your way back."

Surprisingly, Loki didn't argue. He merely turned to me and held out his hand. The portal lay open before us, the red orange sparks that defined its edges making a low buzzing noise that I hadn't noticed before. I glanced back at Heimdall and he nodded his head at me in a way that I thought was meant to be reassuring, and while he did have a very calming aura, I only felt discomforted and afraid. This trip had turned into something else entirely. I didn't think I liked it. I reached out and accepted Loki's hand, allowing him to pull me close as we had traveled before, in order to minimize the aftereffects. We stepped forward and the darkness swallowed us whole as we left Asgard and its guardian behind.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heavy weight of the decisions facing Loki and Nellie proves to be the perfect tool in breaking down the defensive barrier they've built between them.

We staggered in through the closet door, into Loki's room. The light had faded considerably, although there were no windows, so I couldn't tell whether that was because it was getting dark outside or not. We both took a moment of silence in order to process all of the information we had come across during our travels. There were multiple incarnations of us, stuck together. A version of me was writing a story on us. And, according to Heimdall, bad things had happened to those other incarnations, and may even happen to us.  


I sighed, glancing up at Loki's face and trying to gauge his thoughts on the subject. He was staring back at me, arms crossed over his chest.  


"What're you thinking?" I asked. He took a minute to answer, shaking his head ever so slightly, as if having difficultly getting the words he wanted to say out.  


"That you need to set me free."  


I groaned in frustration, throwing my head back and my arms out, "Why can't you just understand me when I say that I can't? I can't. I really, really can't."  


"Were you not listening to what Heimdall said? Death? Destruction? Bad things happen when we are bound like this, and yet you hesitate because you think you're doing it for the greater good?" He asked criticizingly.  


"Yes! I know what happens if you go back---" I wasn't really sure if I did know, but my go to philosophy was nearly always better safe than sorry.  


"No. You think you know, and you deny what was clearly stated by someone who you should consider trustworthy, in favor of such nonsense!"  


"Heimdall never said that whatever happens, happens because we stay together!" I frowned, attempting to stand my ground. He was trying to manipulate Heimdall's words in order to get what he wanted. I wasn't going to allow that. "He said that we will 'face many dangers' and might have to 'do unsavory things'. He never said on what terms those things were done."  


"Do you not find letting me go to be an unsavory action?"  


I placed my hands on my hips and refused to answer.  


His hands curled into fists and his brows drew together, "Never have I met a more foolish, stubborn person than you. How else do you think we face those dangers together? You think that if you let me go, I will ever come into contact with you again to even give possibility to those events happening?"  


That gave me pause. It was a good point. There had never been much doubt in my mind that if I let him go, he would never, ever come back. Not unless it was to extract revenge for being bound to me in the first place, but I'd always assumed he would take care of any revenge killing immediately after being released. So, if Heimdall said that we faced those dangers together, it had to mean that those dangers occurred only if I forced him to stay, right?  


But then, what if something happened and he did come back? Then those bad things could still occur, both in his reality with his attempted takeover of Earth _and_ here. Heimdall had listed a variety of bad things that could happen. What if, in this instance, it meant just one of our deaths, not both? Could I risk giving up my life in hopes of saving the lives of others in a different reality? But then, what if it meant his death? Could I watch him die as a result of me trying to be some kind of hero? What if him dying did prevent the terrible events? What if my death did? The growing weight of decision on my shoulders paired with the stress of traveling through the portals made my head spin like a bad carnival ride. I placed one hand on my forehead, closing my eyes, "I... I just need to think."  


I left without looking at him, afraid of whatever I might find on his face. The dorm room was dark when I entered. With just the slightest pink of the sunrise peaking in through the window. I checked my phone, grabbing it from my desk where I had left it before leaving. We had been gone what felt like only an hour or so, but in all actuality, it had been just over a day. I silently thanked God that it was Sunday, and crawled onto the futon, dragging a blanket behind me, without changing clothes or even taking off my shoes.

 

Explosions ripped the sky, and the tenth floor of a nearby building collapsed, raining glass and concrete on the fleeing people below. I stood from where I had been sitting on the sidewalk, tucked behind an overturned car. I knew I was dreaming the moment I laid eyes on the scene, but, unlike other times when I was aware of dreaming, I was unable to control anything. Not even my own movements. Everything seemed to move inconsistently. Things slowed so that I could walk amongst the crowd who were in mid-run, their faces frozen in terror. And then things sped up, so that I was no longer on the same street, but in an alleyway behind what looked to be a bank. The sky was now darker, a huge blue ring casting light and making for harsh outlines that made everything seem to standout in stark detail. I heard my name called. I couldn't turn my head to see who it was. The scene flashed forward again. I was standing in front of a familiar tower. Damage had already been done to the sign, leaving only the first three letters of a certain billionaire's name. I knew where I was. The Battle of New York. Someone shouted, "Get down!" and I felt myself duck, looking up in time to see some sort of flying vehicle crash into the building to my left. I turned, in slow motion, to see THE Captain America battling an alien invader. He managed to decapitate the creature with his shield, and then looked directly at me, yelling something along the lines of, "What are you doing?"  


I was beyond shocked that he could see me, but my dream self was unfazed, shouting something back, although I couldn't distinguish her words. I looked down at my hands, on one of them was a ring. Not my usual taste, with a silver band made of two, intertwining pieces of metal, and a large, round, black stone set in the middle. As I watched, colors seemed to swirl within it's depths.; orange and red flames growing rapidly. My dream self looked up just as an explosive of some sort landed within ten feet and went off. I felt myself fly backwards and hit a nearby, abandoned bus. I didn't feel any pain, but was nearly buried underneath all of the glass, scraps of the bus, and pieces of concrete that had gone flying with me. I opened my eyes and was taken aback by some sort of shiny, black armor that covered every inch of my arm. A closer look revealed it to be made out of some sort of overlapping metal pieces, reminiscent of scales. Before I had time to process that, my dream self was standing, pushing aside pieces of concrete I knew I was not strong enough in real life to handle, while the lines in the armor glowed a faint orange. As I struggled out of the debris, one of the flying vehicles zoomed overhead, pausing as it passed over me. I looked up to see non other than the god of mischief himself. He looked so much more alive than he did in real life. We made eye contact and I felt my heart constrict. He reached down, his arm curling around my back as I reached forward, grabbing the back of his neck as if helping him pull me up. The armor I wore rippled, like a cat's fur standing on end in warning, and the ring, somehow sitting on top of the armor, flashed brightly. My vision was obscured by the light.  


I was running down a narrow street. The buildings surrounding me were much shorter than the skyscrapers before them, but I knew I was still in the city. Beside me, Brittani jumped over fallen debris, looking tired and fearful. She looked so completely out of place in this setting. Thunder and lightning created chaos in the sky overhead. I watched as Thor landed at the end of the street, his hammer skidding away from him and landing near a pile of bricks. Nearby, Captain America's shield lay, seemingly abandoned.  


I stood in front of Tony Stark in his Iron Man armor. The face mask was missing, so I could see the look of horror on his features as he asked me, "What have you done?" A dark colored liquid reflected the dim light from where it coated my armored hands. It dripped to the ground, revealing it's ruby red color. My hands curled into fists.  


I sat in the dining center where I worked at school, picking at the food that sat in front of me with disinterest. Loki sat across from me, reading a book in silence. Munkhjin, one of my friends who also worked at the dining center, walked by with a bottle of sanitizer and a damp rag. She jolted to a sudden stop in front of us. Her eyes widened as she stared, unblinkingly, at Loki, as if seeing him for the first time.  


"Holy fucking shit. Is that Loki?!"  


Both Loki and I looked up at her, then at each other, in shock and suspicion. Just as I was about to laugh it off and make a painfully lame joke as a distraction, the floor to ceiling windows that made up one end of the room blew in, shattered glass flying in as far as twenty feet.  


I stood in front of my residence hall, watching as it crumbled. The sky was blue and bright overhead.  


A series of other images flashed before me, too fast to catch anything but blurred images. A blackness encroached on my vision, and I felt as though a heavy weight had been placed on my chest. I couldn't breathe. I struggled to wake up.  


And then I was awake, sitting up straight and gasping for breath. I was accustomed to weird dreams; dinosaurs, demonic entities, and sudden tornados were all regular players in my nighttime slumbers. But that had felt more like repressed memories, or prophetic visions. Just way, way too real. I glanced over and saw Loki casually lounging in Brittani's desk chair. He was watching me with slight curiosity, "Bad dreams?"  


"I feel like Mary Sue in the first chapter of a YA novel." I muttered, shaking my head and wiping sleep from my eyes. It looked to be midafternoon, and an earlier text from Brittani informed me she was at the library studying.  


"I think you already know I know not of what you speak."  


"It doesn't matter." I said and swung my feet around so that they were flat on the hardwood floors. I stared down at my shoes in confusion. Had I slept with them on? I glanced back at Loki.  


He stood up, coming over and offering his hand. Flashes of a similar gesture made in the dream came to mind, and I looked up at him in confusion. I had a sneaking suspicion that he may have had something to do with the nightmares that had plagued me.  


"I think we should have a talk." He said, "And I want to get out of this stuffy room."  


I hesitantly accepted, deciding to ask about the dreams later.  


"Dress for a spring day." 

We took a portal. I was pretty adamant at first that it wasn't a good idea, but he insisted, and the earnestness I heard in his voice convinced me to go along with it.  


We ended up in some sort of meadow. It was breathtaking to behold. The skies were a gorgeous, flawless blue. At our feet, thousands of flowers were in full bloom; their sweet scent could lull even the angriest person into contentment. I was afraid to move, not wanting to crush them, but Loki guided us along a hidden path just wide enough for our feet to avoid stepping on any delicate stems. We approached a stream that ran merrily through the meadow, the water gurgling happily over stones. Loki came to a stop at the edge, looking pensively into the water for a few moments before turning his attention to me. I felt extremely uncomfortable, even as the beauty of the place tried to ease my nerves. Everything felt so vulnerable, including him, and I was worried about his intentions. I was always worried about his intentions.  


"This is a very special place." He said, taking a second for the words to settle before continuing, "It's on the outskirts of Asgard. Thor and I used to come here as children and play." As I watched, two young boys appeared, the edges of their forms still a little shimmery and green. Illusion magic. He was recreating the memories. They boys ran, laughed, and pushed each other forward. Occasionally tumbling to the ground only to shoot back up and continue their play.  


"And where my mother taught me one of the most important things in my life," a beautiful woman appeared, her hair shining gold under the bright sun. The blonde boy disappeared and the dark-haired one, a very young Loki, ran towards the woman. She smiled as she knelt down, cupping his hands in hers. She spoke words I could not hear, explaining details to a process I couldn't understand. And I watched as slowly and with a lot of instruction, a slightly translucent image of a raven appeared in the boy's hand, and took flight into the sky before dissipating. The boy cheered and laughed, and the woman held him close, planting a kiss on his forehead. I wanted to avert my eyes. It felt like a personal moment that I shouldn't have been privy to. But I couldn't look away. Why was he showing me this? Was this some sort of trick?  


Loki took a shaky breath, his lips pressing together as he watched the two in their joy. I waited until I thought the silence had stretched on too long before asking, "Why are you showing me this?"  


He considered this a moment before his eyes found mine again, "I suppose because I'm tired of fighting with you, and because I'm tired of fighting with myself."  


My brow furrowed, "I don't know what you mean."  


"I know why you hesitate to set me free. You think that you're saving others by keeping me away from my home. From here." Oh. I saw now. He was showing me the beautiful place I was keeping him from. "You think that you can prevent what happens, save the day, stop the bad guy. And maybe you are right. If I was in your position, I like to think I would do the same. Even though there's a chance you or those you love may die in the process."  


I wanted to laugh and I wanted to make this out as a joke, as something that he was making up in an attempt to get what he wanted. Wasn't this just one more in a series of attempted persuasions? His green eyes were much more serious than the other night, though. Perhaps this wasn't another cheap trick. I knew he wasn't this good of an actor.  


"I want you to know--" He stopped, looked at the sky, picked a stay piece of thread off his sleeve. "I want you to know that I was horrified to learn of what may be to come. Not the predictions that Heimdall foretold, but the films that you explained to me."  


"Because you lost?" I asked, and immediately knew that wasn't it.  


"Because of everything I did to win." He answered.  


"I always thought of myself as the more responsible one. The more diplomatic one. The one who, by all means, could make for a better, wiser, ruler. The one who would be able to lead Asgard and it's people into a golden age unlike no other. I couldn't understand why anyone would choose Thor. The one who battled, who enjoyed conquest and who destroyed without much of a second thought. I never, in my wildest nightmares, believed that I could so ruthlessly do the same. Do so much worse, in fact." He let out a strangled, quiet laugh.  


I leaned back on my heels a bit, trying to process everything he was throwing at me. This was something I was not prepared to handle. He was letting all of this walls down and the flood was pouring out. I felt as though I was drowning. My earlier comment made a burning fire of guilt that settled deep in my stomach. My earlier resolution to never trust him was flung back in my face as he proved right here and now that he trusted me.  


"I mean... like you said, there's a chance that they could be wrong. Maybe you're not the version of yourself that does all of that."  


He shook his head, "No. Something inside tells me that those events stretch across many of the realities, much like my banishment. I know that is who I am meant to become."  


"Well, if I don't let you go, then you'll never be able to go back and become that person you don't want to be."  


"I don't think that you have any control over whether or not I go. Only when."  


"How do you suppose that?"  


He nudged the ground with the toe of his shoe, drawing intricate designs in the black dirt, "If you don't let me go yourself. I think it will come down to the spell breaking another way."  


"One of us dying?" I asked quietly.  


"You dying." He said  


My head jerked upwards, "What?"  


He turned to me fully, taking a step forward to close the distance, "Think about it. If I inevitably end up back where I was, that means you either let me go, or the spell is broken."  


"So... maybe you actually do learn your 'lesson in humility' and that breaks it?" I was grasping at straws and I knew it.  


"We both know by now that the only person capable of breaking this is you, and if you refuse to..." He said, his face very serious.  


I let out a huff of air. I knew he was probably right. I knew it and yet... I still couldn't let go.  


"What would you do if I did?" I asked, "I mean... since you're so worried about the movies being true."  


He ran a hand through his hair, loosening a few pieces. I watched them fall and frame his face in dark waves. For the first time, I noticed the slight curl to his hair that made itself known when he didn't slick it back. I kind of liked it.  


"I don't know. I cannot go back to Asgard. Not only because I don't want to face them all again, but because I don't know how Odin would react to seeing me freed." His eyes searched my face, and I panicked a little, wondering if he was expecting me to have an answer. How had we gotten here, to a place where we were having such an open and honest conversation?  


"Does that mean you're going to?" He asked.  


I crossed my arms over my chest and gazed at the bubbling stream as if I could avoid the question by averting my eyes. Why was it so hard for me to let go? It wasn't like living with him was a joy; it certainly wasn't. Not by a long shot. And sure, I could say it was to save those he might hurt if he gained power like he did in _The Avengers_ , but I wasn't entirely sold on the idea that the movies truly were his future. Not since our conversation with Heimdall about the existence of so many other realities. And especially not since he had just admitted to being horrified with what he had seen himself do.  


I reached deep within myself and managed to come up with two things.  


"I..." I sighed. This was going to be unbelievably difficult to say. It was admitting to something I was in deep denial about; Something I wanted to bury six feet under the cold hard ground. I hadn't wanted to allow myself to admit it, because I was afraid it would only lead to heartbreak.  


"I don't want to see you become that person." I couldn't even look at him. "I... see, now, that you're not as bad as you try to pretend to be, although you still do some things you really shouldn't and it really pisses me off... and I know that you went through some pretty shitty things and that you are really hurt by them and they really fuck you up and make you a terrible person. And I..." I pulled my arms in tighter against my chest, as if to protect myself from any consequences of what I was about to say, "I wouldn't want to see anyone go through that. I don't want to see _you_ go through that. I care about you, no matter how stupid it is, and if I can somehow prevent those things from happening..." I trailed off. That hadn't come out exactly as I had intended, but the general idea was there. Hard to believe I had ever considered myself to be articulate.  


"Plus, letting you go means that I'm just a normal college girl again. With a normal, boring future, and zero magic in her life. And as you said the other day, I'm just as power hungry as you. And... I want to be special. Which is pretty selfish, I know. And both of those things were really hard to admit so if you could not give me shit about caring for you, or being a foolish little human or whatever that would be great."  


The resulting silence was unnerving. A warm breeze wafted through the meadow, bringing with it the dizzying scent of the hundreds of flowers, along with an array of petals. I took a deep breath and allowed them to calm me some. Now that the words were out, I felt as light as a feather, despite having just laid myself bare. Something about this place made it so easy to be vulnerable and to say what you felt. It was almost magical. I supposed it was Asgard, after all. I wondered if Heimdall knew we were here.  


His hand brushed against my skin, startling me a bit as he cupped the side of my face, his fingers slipping into my curls. I looked up at him, trying to keep my composure. What in the hell was he doing?  


"I know I've given you every reason to hate me, and so it amazes me that somehow, you can still find the capacity to care. I suppose that's something I could attribute to human nature." He smirked slightly, "But I don't belong in your reality, and it's not your responsibility to protect me, not even from myself. I need to face whatever the future has in store. And I don't want to see you get hurt trying to prevent that."  


I opened my mouth to respond, though with what I had yet to discover, but was interrupted by the sound of... something approaching. Loki stiffened and turned around quickly, his eyes darting between the trees that lined the meadow's edge.  


"We need to leave. I don't want them to find us here. Who knows what Odin might do." He turned back and opened the portal. I automatically reached for his hand, and, finding it, we stepped forward and left the enchanting meadow behind.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An attack by a woman wanting to kill Loki forces Nellie's hand. She makes her decision.

Seconds after stepping through into the dorm room, the closet door exploded outwards into a thousand pieces. Shards of wood flew in every direction and bright white light blinded us both. We threw ourselves to the ground, trying to get out of the way of any flying debris. The dust began to clear, and I dared to lift my head, peaking around. The window had shattered, along with the mirror that hung on the wall next to it. The pipes leading to the water heater were ruptured and hot water steamed as it spurted out and hit the cold air from outside. The floor was scorched black, and in the doorway of the closet, a figure stood, shrouded in shadows. The figure shifted and a glowing white light began to grow, shining brightly from, and illuminating, their cupped hands. The light expanded rapidly and I felt a heavy hand push me back to the ground as another explosion rocked the dormitory. The floor beneath us collapsed and I felt Loki grab the back of my dress to pull me towards him as we slid down. A table in the basement study room below “cushioned” his fall, and he cushioned mine, although we knocked our heads together fairly hard on impact. I pulled back and looked down at him as blood dripped from my hopefully not broken nose, staining his dark green shirt black. His eyes flickered from my face to something behind me, and his hands tightened their grip as he rolled us over and off the table. I hit the ground and felt all the air leave my lungs, black spots dancing across my vision. Chunks of plaster and brick rained down from above.  


"What-- the -- fuck." I managed to wheeze, my face pressed into Loki's collarbone. He was not light by any means, and his crushing weight, though it provided protection from falling rubble, made it very difficult to catch my breath. He shifted, relieving the pressure, and I inhaled deeply, coughing almost immediately when the dust particles scratched my throat. The fire alarm rang shrilly over the sound of distant screams. Loki propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at me, “You okay?”  


I nodded, unable to speak as my mind raced with thoughts of what was happening, who was doing this, and how it felt to have his thigh pressed up against mine. He stood quickly, looking around, assessing the situation. I followed, albeit more slowly as I tried to stem the flow of blood from my nose. I had been fortunate thus far to have never had to deal with a bloody nose, though that didn't help me now when it was coating my hand in blood, “What, who, was that?”  


He glanced up, but the figure was nowhere to be seen, “I don’t know-“ The building shook once more, “but we need to get out of here. This building is far too old to withstand blasts like that.”  


The door to the room was blocked by a section of wall that had come down with us, but the outside wall had crumbled enough that there was a clear exit to the front courtyard. The only problem was that it was seven feet up in the air, and while I imagined Loki was easily capable of making it out, I sure as hell wasn't. I turned to push the table over to help, but it had collapsed under the weight of the wreckage that had nearly crushed us moments ago. For a brief second, I feared he might leave me behind, but knew that to be foolish as he had already proven he had no intention of letting me die, at least, not yet. When I turned back around, he was poking his head out of the hole, having already found a way up and out. Resting on his stomach, he lowered his upper body back down into the room and stretched his arms towards me, “Hurry!”  


I hesitantly made my way over and he grabbed my forearms, lifting me as though I weighed no more than a small child. When he had lifted me high enough, he brought my arms around his neck, adjusting his hold to my waist, and sat up so that I was lifted completely from the partially collapsed building and on to him. I could feel myself trembling from the adrenaline coursing through my veins, my breathing uneven. My legs were scraped from being dragged across the rough material of the wall and stung where they were pressed against the coarse material of Loki’s pants. He was calmer, as still as a statue compared to my shivering self, but there was a tension I could feel beneath my fingertips in his shoulders and arms. We sat like that for a minute, collecting ourselves, before an unfamiliar voice rang out.  


“Loki Laufeyson.”  


We both turned in the direction of the voice and finally came face to face with our attacker. She appeared relatively young, perhaps only a few years older than me, about mid-twenties. Her hair was light brown and billowed around her as though a breeze were blowing, although the air was still. She was dressed in a fitted white and yellow jumpsuit, something similar to the outfits you usually saw on superspies in films, but it was dirty and torn, with red slashes across the front. Her eyes, even at this distance, were deranged, with dark circles hanging beneath them. She looked as though she hadn't slept in days. I could tell she was at least slightly unstable. Loki pushed me carefully off of him, standing slowly and transforming his clothes into his Asgardian armor as I sat frozen in the dead grass. He faced her cautiously; he too could tell she was unhinged. I stood too when I realized a fight was coming, my heart thumping wildly. Luckily I had managed to stem the flow of blood from my nose. Most of the dorm's residents had evacuated and were standing on the other side of the street, watching the confrontation with fearful eyes. My heart sunk as I took in most of the damage the woman had wrought. I had very little doubt in my mind that there were a few still trapped in the dorms, or worse.  


She smiled. It didn’t meet her eyes. “That never works, does it?"  


"What exactly were you going for?" Loki asked. The answer was obvious, but he was always one to try and chat in such situations. He would distract her with conversation, so that he could sneak his way to getting the upper hand without her knowledge. I only hoped he wasn't underestimating her. She may be crazy, but she didn't look stupid.  


She sighed quietly, "Oh, you know what I'm here for. Maybe not why, but is that important? In the long run?" She puzzled over her own question a moment before cocking her head to the side in a short, jerky movement that made her seem a little bird-like, "Well, I suppose it has always helped me in the end if I do disclose my reasoning." She pressed a hand to her temple, "It just gets so tiring. I've been doing this for so, so long. It's never ending, really. I've been to almost every point in time to try and stop it, and it still comes. You still ruin everything." Her lip curled upwards in disgust as she looked at Loki. "You just never change, do you?"  


"Well, I do what I can." He replied. Though I couldn't see it, I knew he had flashed a devilish smile. His fingers twitched. I felt uselessly rooted to the spot where I stood, but I didn't know what I could do. They were definitely going to exchange blows, and soon. I didn't want to be in the way of that, but I also didn't want to walk out from my position behind Loki, because he was offering the only protection I had from her. Not to mention I really couldn't go far without him having to follow, and, consequently, her having to follow as well if she was truly intent on killing him. Or us.  


"It's never enough." She retorted. Snowflakes began to drift down from the sky. The big, fat ones that always melted on impact with the ground. A shimmering green appeared behind her, and another Loki took form. He maneuvered so that he was just within her peripheral vision. The Loki in front of me began to shimmer. The woman turned to face the one who had just appeared, shooting blasts of the same white energy from earlier, having assumed that she had been talking to an illusion just moments ago. The real Loki was the one who was in front of me though, and he turned on his heel quickly and, grabbing my elbow, pulled me around to the front of the building and up the stairs to the front door.  


I didn't dare question his actions; mostly because I didn't want to draw the woman's attention to us. He began the markings for a portal. In the distance, sirens echoed as emergency vehicles came to respond to the fire alarms, as well as the dozens of 911 calls I imagined had been made. I watched them all with wide eyes. Several police cars pulled up to the front lawn, and cops barreled out, yelling for us to get to the ground. Loki ignored them, intensely focused on the task in front of him, however, their yelling had gotten the attention of the woman. The portal began to form, but I knew we didn't have time.  


"Move!" I yelled as I grabbed him and threw us both down the stairs, just barely avoiding the blast that destroyed the doorway before we could make our escape. We tumbled to the sidewalk, landing a few feet away from each other. Not fifty feet from us, police cars went up in flames as the woman forced the police to retreat. Despite being bruised and sore, I shot to my feet, facing the woman. She paused.  


"What do you mean, it still comes?" I asked. My voice betrayed my fear only slightly. There was definitely a huge chance that she would just kill me on the spot, but I had to know, and she seemed like the type who could be distracted with some monologuing. At least, it had worked for Loki for a moment there. Why was she doing this? What had Loki done to ruin everything? What had she meant by saying she had gone to every point in time? All good questions to ask. And, maybe if I could distract her with questions, I might give Loki the edge he needed to stop her.  


She stared at me, her face impossibly hard to read. "The war." She eventually murmured.  


"What war?" The snowflakes fell harder, leaving my hair damp and cold. My bare legs were freezing. I couldn't stop shivering.  


She seemed to fall apart even more as she answered, "The war. The stones. Death coming for us all. He destroys everything. He kills everyone. Ruth, Steve, Tony, Maria, everyone.” She looked at me hard, tears rolling down her cheeks. “I was the only one who could come back and stop it."  


My mind raced with what she could be talking about. She seemed to be implying that she was from the future, but surely not from this future, the one of this dimension. I looked back at Loki. He was crouched on the ground, trying to remain as little of a threat as possible. He knew that any move by him would catch the woman's attention and perhaps lead to another attack. She had to be from the same place as him. But I didn't recognize her from any of the movies. Was she referring to Loki when she said him? And the stones? The infinity stones perhaps? There was talk that they were all going to be in the films and wielded by the creature they'd shown at the end of _The Avengers_. Thanos.  


"Thanos? Is that who you're talking about?" Her reaction was answer enough. Her hands buzzed with the white energy and a look of pure terror crossed her face at just the mention of him. So, Thanos did eventually get his hands on all of the stones, and he used them to kill everyone.  


"How does killing Loki stop Thanos?" I took a step towards her, my hand held out in order to let her know I meant her no harm. Not that I could do anything to someone like her. She watched me warily, but didn't move. "How does any of this solve anything? Look at all the innocent people you've hurt just trying to get to one man." I gestured towards the crowd of students watching fearfully. Some of them were crying. Quite a few were badly injured. The policemen had retreated slightly, but were keeping a close eye. Reinforcements had arrived, but had yet to intervene. The building was in flames behind her, ash blanketing the ground instead of snow. She frowned, and I tried to amend my statement.  


"Okay, I know he's not great. He's pretty flawed. Sometimes, he's a huge dick, if I'm going to be completely honest, but that doesn't justify killing him. The war hasn't happened yet. Hell, the Battle of New York hasn't happened yet. Things can still be fixed without anyone dying." I pleaded with her.  


I was worried that maybe she was right, but she also didn't seem completely in touch with reality. A part of me wanted to believe that she had cracked seeing the war that had killed everyone, and had wrongly put the blame on one person. I wanted to believe that Loki could be saved; from her, from Thanos, and from himself. It wasn't lost on me that Loki would possibly make some very bad decisions. Decisions that got people killed. I had thought I could prevent it all by keeping him here. Yet, death and destruction still came. Heimdall had talked of consequences, and I was face to face with them now. He had said that I would have to make tough decisions. Was one of them allowing Loki to die? Had I signed his death certificate with my own hand by refusing to allow him to leave? Was I going to be directly responsible for all of this just because I couldn't face being responsible for the destruction he might create if freed? No matter what path I chose, I was going to have more than my own blood on my hands.  


The woman took a step forward, and I started, taking two steps back. She matched them until she was less than two feet from me. She looked deeply into my eyes. Hers were bloodshot, and reflected so many horrors that while I desperately wanted to, I couldn't look away. The air around her hummed.  


"I know you.” She said. There was something to her voice, like she was remembering me as more than a stranger seen for a moment. There was depth, but she seemed like she was trying to restrain from revealing too much. "You were there. Always trying to protect him. I remember your face so clearly. The moment you found out he betrayed us all. You were crushed. You couldn't believe it."  


She placed a hand on my cheek, her skin was hot to the touch, "He couldn't bear to be the one to kill you himself, couldn't even watch when Thanos did it."  


My heart nearly stopped at her whispered words. There was a brutal honesty to them. A sadness. Like it hurt her to speak about what had happened. I couldn't help but believe she was telling the truth. I wanted to close my eyes, to run away, to scream, to see the look on Loki's face as she said all of this.  


"Do you see now why I'm doing this?" She asked. And I did. She wanted to protect her family, her friends, the world, from someone who was destined to destroy them. Didn't I want the same thing? I felt my eyes burn and a tear escape, running down my cheek. No matter how much I wanted to protect people, both here and there, they still got hurt. It all came down to who I was willing to sacrifice to save the others; to where my guilt was going to stem from. Loki was going to hurt so many people. He couldn't be allowed to go back, even if that meant killing him.  


"I don't want to hurt you. You have a part to play in the future. We need you. Please, don't try and stop me." She lowered her hand and I wiped the tears from my face. She moved past me, turning her attention back to Loki. I didn't follow. I didn't turn and look at him. He would allow Thanos to kill everyone; to kill me. And he would avert his eyes as it all unfolded before him. Much like I was doing now... Was this the right decision? Was there a right decision? Flashes of our conversations ran wild in my head. He was afraid of who he was foretold to become. The Loki I had seen depicted in the movies was a stranger to him, someone who he didn't understand, someone who truly was a monster. He may have not done the right thing by trying to manipulate and trick his way to the crown, but he did it because he wanted to protect his home from what he saw as a threat. He loved his mother and the magic she had filled his life with. He read books about humans and learned to speak their languages instead of relying on Allspeak. He kept his end of the deal and brought me to the place I'd only ever been to in my dreams. He protected me even when it would have been easier to walk away, especially since he believed that if I died, the spell would be broken, and he would be freed.  


Each choice could have disastrous consequences. I could let him die now, possibly saving others, but living with a huge amount of guilt over having turned my back on someone who had saved my life. Or I could help him, and give him the chance to be better. There was still time. I could still try to make things right, or at least give him the chance to do so.  


Behind me, the final battle had already begun. Loki dodged her blasts of energy where he could, and used various objects and spells for shields where he couldn't. There wasn't much I could do without only getting in the way and possibly being killed. I was powerless, especially when faced against those two. Before I could decide on a course of action, Heimdall's voice sounded strong and clear in my head.  


_Listen carefully. I'm going to show you the symbols used to create the portals. It is dark magic, but so long as you draw them correctly, it should work. Grab a piece of the chalk from the sidewalk._ I glanced to my left and saw a set of chalk and an unfinished drawing of Minnie Mouse, abandoned once the explosions had begun. I hesitantly kneeled down and grabbed a purple piece. _Use the portal as a means of escape._  


"Where will it lead?" I asked out loud, looking to be talking to myself. Although, that wasn't the craziest thing happening at the moment, so I doubted that anyone noticed.  


_Not to Asgard. It would not be safe. I will try to direct it somewhere protected, but make no promises. The portal magic is hard to control, and it's possible that the symbols have to be modified in a way unknown to me in order to designate the destination._  


I paused, glancing up to the sky above. Snowflakes landed in my eyelashes, "Why are you helping him?"  


_I'm not. I am helping you, and, should you desire, you can help him._  


This was it. There was no more time to think over or debate my options. I wasn't going to let him die, not when there was still more I could do.  


I ran down the sidewalk. Once I was far enough away, Loki would be transported to my side. If I wasn't careful, he would show up before the portal was opened and the woman would realize what was going on. I stopped and glanced back at them. I needed to get him to the portal without her catching on. If I used the central entrance to the dorm, assuming it was still intact, opened the portal, and then got Loki to move far enough away, then he would be transported to my side. Hopefully, the woman would be confused as to how he disappeared, and it might give him enough time to escape before she realized what was happening. I made my way over. The fire was spreading fast, but the door was still intact, and close enough to the fight. I raised my hand and pressed the edge of the chalk to the cool metal. It wouldn't show up very well, but the marks would still be there, and that's all that mattered. Right?  


"Okay, I'm ready." My vision went scarily black and the scene before me was replaced with images of the portal. Gathering myself and trying not to dwell on how insane this was, I began blindly drawing the symbols.  


Once I was done, my vision returned to normal and I was able to watch as the portal formed before my eyes, the dull purple symbols glowing brightly. Now was the time. I turned and watched as Loki was hit hard by a blast of her energy. He was thrown to the ground. I cringed, it looked like that had hurt. He wasn't doing great. Had I taken any longer, it might have been too late for him. The woman had proved herself extremely powerful. Luckily her back was turned to me. As Loki stood, I waved my hands to get him to notice me. I couldn't yell without attracting unwanted attention. I just had to hope he was smart enough to understand. He glanced at me, looking annoyed and confused. I pointed at the portal behind me, then waved my hand away. He frowned, parried a blow from the woman, and then seemed to understand what I was getting at. He spun on his heel and began sprinting in the opposite direction. The woman, seeing this as a sign of her impending victory, followed closely, white energy building around her.  


And just as predicted, he appeared next to me. However, he didn't disappear from the chase either. He had left an illusion in his place in order to keep her distracted longer.  


"Smart." I whispered to him. He was breathing heavily, his hair a mess and streaks of black smeared on his face. He sighed wearily and studied the portal curiously, "So you've had a change of heart? How did you do this?"  


"I had a little help." I gave a small smile, but it was quick to vanish. Not much time to talk, better say what I needed to say. I took a deep breath, "Listen. I did this because I believed you when you said you didn't want to end up like the person she thinks you are, or, will be. And because I owe you, but please, Loki," He stared down at me, "don't make me regret this."  


"Regret saving my life?"  


"Regret letting you go." I replied and he frowned in confusion.  


I straightened out my shoulders and lifted my chin, "Loki, I release you. You are free to leave. Go."  


"What?" He looked shocked, "You're setting me free?"  


I nodded, "I was stupid to think that keeping you here would help anyone. You need to go back."  


For once, he seemed speechless. A loud explosion rocked the courtyard and the crowd of college students who had acted as spectators ran screaming in all directions as the woman tried to destroy Loki's apparition.  


"You need to leave now." I said, pushing him in the direction of the portal, "She's going to catch on soon. Go."  


"You're not coming with?" He sounded puzzled, perhaps even a little disappointed. I looked at him sadly.  


"I think I've already made enough of a mess of things." That was part of the truth. The other part was much darker. I couldn't bear to watch should he become the person he feared. I couldn't deal with that guilt. It was better to stay here and hope I made the right decision, than come face to face with the consequences should I have made the wrong one. It was the cowardly move, I knew. But it was the easiest one.  


He hesitated. I pushed him gently again, "Go."  


His hand brushed my face. The touch was fleeting, barely there. And then he was gone.  


I was crying again. Out of relief, and sadness, and because I was scared I had just saved one man and doomed dozens of others. The portal swirled and shimmered in front of me. A loud, enraged scream of frustration broke through my thoughts. The woman had caught on to the trick. I saw her turn and begin sprinting in my direction. I began quickly erasing the symbols so that she couldn't follow. The portal flickered and hissed. The color became darker and more menacing. A small blast of her energy hit the ground at my feet and knocked me into one of the pillars that held up the portico that overhung the door. Chunks of concrete were blown up, and I noticed, even in my dazed state, that the ones that hit the quickly destabilizing portal were vaporized instantly.  


"Don't you realize what you've done?!" Her eyes were glowing with the white energy now. Sparks were flying from her and from the symbols.  


"Don't--" I couldn't get the words out. I could taste blood in my mouth. She ignored me, and attempted to step through the portal.  


I would hear her screams in my mind for a long time.

 

It was difficult to explain to the authorities what had happened. No one could believe the footage of what appeared to be two super-humans battling each other on a public university's campus, and it wasn't like SHIELD was around to create a cover story. They were especially bewildered when they had no record of either Loki or the woman on file. Somehow, all evidence of his time here before the fight had been wiped clean. I suspected Heimdall had a hand to play. Or perhaps even Odin, if he cared enough to clean up the mess that was partially his fault. Although, the people who had seen him didn't forget, and everyone was wary of me and how I was involved. Eventually, they went with it being some sort of terrorist attack. I didn't argue when they painted me as the hapless victim who didn't have anything to do with it. It was definitely easier that way.  


No one had died in the fight, though there had been some serious injuries. Brittani had been eating at the dining hall down the street when it had happened, and was grateful she hadn't left earlier. Everyone was relocated to other living quarters, and classes were continued the next week. We got lucky, and ended up in one of the better campus apartments. My parents, the extremely overprotective and paranoid type, spent days trying to convince me to come home for the rest of the semester. And although it was tempting, the idea of going home after all I had experienced felt strange and wrong.  


The first few weeks were hard, and with each passing day it never got any easier. Going back to a normal life felt unreal, fake. I didn't feel like I belonged. In some ways, it all felt unbelievably pointless. There were so much bigger things happening, how could going to class or getting a degree be important? I battled constantly with whether or not I had made the right choices. Should I have let him go? Should I have gone with him? Why in the hell had I stayed here?  


It was especially difficult whenever thoughts of the woman arose, which was pretty often. Her death weighed heavily on my shoulders. I knew I couldn't have stopped her. She was going to go through the portal whether I told her to or not. No, what bothered me the most was that she had just been trying to do what she saw as the right thing. Same as me. She had watched everyone she loved die at the hands of someone who was, somehow, enabled to by Loki. She had just wanted to save them. To stop the destruction of her whole world. Had it truly been my place to say that she was wrong? That she wasn't justified?  


I found myself spiraling; falling into a depression unlike any I had faced before. I had trouble sleeping. I didn't have the ability to answer my friends questions when they prompted me to tell them what was wrong. I couldn't find the motivation to do much more than trudge numbly through the routine I had kept before he had been a part of my life.  


Brittani did her best to talk me out of my dark mood, and I was endlessly grateful for her help, but it didn't do much to stop the thoughts that plagued me. I should have gone with him. I had been so completely, unbelievably wrong. Not knowing was much harder.  


A month after the battle, I laid down on the couch in our small living room after my last class. It had been a longer day than usual. My good friend from home, Quinn, had threatened to drive up on Friday. She was "sick of me pretending nothing was wrong". It had taken several hours to convince her not to, and I half expected her to show up anyway. She was stubborn as all hell. I was supposed to be at work in a couple of hours and was hoping to get a little shut eye before catching the bus. As I lay there, I felt myself fall into the kind of slumber where you know you're asleep, and your body feels impossibly heavy and is hard to move. I felt uncomfortably warm and tried to kick off the blanket, but my legs wouldn't budge. It felt as though I was about to experience the weirdly vivid dreams again. Suddenly, my eyes snapped open and I saw before me the Bifrost, or what was left of it. It had yet to be fixed since Thor had destroyed it. Heimdall stood at the jagged end, a large sword in hand. He stared straight at me with his golden eyes.  


_Your assistance is required_ , He said, holding out his free hand. I reached forward and took the small object that it held. I recognized it almost immediately. It was the ring I had seen in the dreams some time ago, before the talk in the meadow. I closed my fist around it and felt it vibrate slightly with the amount of power it gave off. I glanced back up at Heimdall, _What is it?_  


_It's something to help you. Put it on when you awake, and it will protect you from the dangers you shall face._  


_What dangers?_ I asked. I should have been more worried. After all, I had thought myself free from the aforementioned dangers since letting Loki go. But I was excited, happy, even.  


His gaze burned into me, _The one you set free has fallen down the wrong path._  


No. I had messed up, hadn't I? I shouldn't have let him go. I should've just let her kill him. The words hurt as I thought them. I knew I didn't really mean them.  


_You made both the right and the wrong decision, but that does not matter now. What matters now, is that you're going to fix it. A portal will appear soon after you awake. Go though it._  


Ah yes, cryptic as usual, giving barely any information at all. _What? How can you do that? Don't I have to draw the symbols?_  


_I have someone much better than I, or Loki, in the field of magic who is going to assist. Now go, before it's too late._  


And with that, I was back on the couch in my apartment, covered in sweat and breathing heavily. Brittani stood slightly off to the side, her eyes wide.  


"Um... I know you talk in your sleep a lot, but that was like a full on conversation, and your eyes were gold as it was happening. Should I be worried?"  


I sat up, looking down at my hand. The ring sat in the middle of my palm, the black gem swirling with reddish light. Before I could begin explaining any of it, the portal appeared on the sliding glass doors that led to our small back patio. It was yellow, didn't throw out sparks, and looked a lot more stable than any I had seen Loki create.  


"Holy shit." Brittani said in an awed voice. I stood up and slipped the ring on after only a moment of hesitation, feeling lighter than I had in a long while. It was time to go. There was no way I could stay here any longer. I was restless enough as it was. This was my fault. This was my problem to fix. And I couldn't shirk from my responsibility. I would have to face the result of my mistakes.  


"Well, I guess we're going to meet the Avengers after all. That is, if you want to come with me?" I turned to her. She was still trying to grasp it all, "You want me to come with?"  


I nodded. It was a spur of the moment decision fueled by excitement and selfishness, to be completely honest. I was just tired of trying to do this on my own. It would be a relief to have someone else, someone familiar, my best friend, join me. I couldn’t let her go in blind though, "I should warn you, it's going to be dangerous. Seriously, Brittani," I put a hand on her shoulder. She needed to know the troubles she may face, "apparently Loki ended up in Thanos's hands after all, at least, I assume that's what has happened. And Heimdall wants me to try and fix it. There's a chance that things could go very wrong."  


"I understand." She said. She was quiet for a long moment. "But this is something unreal. Something magical and crazy and dangerous, yes, but so much greater than anything that I’ve ever seen. You got to be a part of that, and I want to be a part of that too."  


"And meet Captain America?" I added.  


She laughed nervously, "And meet Captain America."  


We quickly scrambled to pack our bags. I didn't know how long we might be staying, so I tried to include anything I thought might be useful. Would my phone charger be necessary? I might not be able to use my phone in the other reality, but I tossed it in just in case. As I zipped up my pack, I got a snapchat from my sister. Oh. In my rush I had forgotten my family. I paused and considered what I should do. Before, when Loki and I had first traveled from this reality, time had passed faster here. What was only an hour to us was a whole day to them. Granted, we had stopped in two different realities. There was no way of telling in which one of them time passed so drastically different. What if when I came back, years had passed? What if I never came back at all? I tapped one end of my phone against my bottom lip pensively. While I couldn't deny the possibility of dying on this venture, staying here was proving just as deadly, if not more. I had to go. I finished getting my stuff together, grabbing a light jacket from my closet, and then took the time to write out an explanation. It was vague, as far as explanations went, because telling the complete truth in one mass text message would be a lot for anyone to digest, but it was enough to let them know that I was leaving of my own free will, and that it had nothing to do with them. I prayed that they wouldn't completely freak out, and, best case scenario, that I would be back before they even had the time to open the notification.  


Brittani and I met down in the living room, where the portal was still swirling ominously. I looked down at the ring on my finger, feeling the power it exuded. At least this time around, I knew I had something that could help me be more than just a helpless bystander; something that could very likely make me just as much a part of this world as the heroes I wrote about. I stepped through the portal.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki has changed, and not for the better.

For the first time in a while, I was not overcome with nausea when going through the portal. Brittani and I had each quickly packed a bag with the necessities. I had ignored several calls from both my parents and my sister. I felt an enormous amount of guilt over leaving, but I couldn't stay. I told myself that once I fixed my mistake, I could come back, but there was the worry about how much time would pass between now and then. I chose to push any such thoughts to the back of my mind.  


I stepped through the portal and out onto an outcropping of rock. It was nighttime and the sounds of the forest surrounding me, on top of the dramatically warmer weather and change in elevation, overwhelmed my senses for a moment. My ears popped, and then everything settled. "Do you know where we are?" I asked, turning to look at Brittani. Only, she wasn't there.  


Panic quickly spread through my chest as I dropped my bag and called out for her, "Brittani! Where are you?" The only answer was the sound of my own voice echoing back at me. Dread dropped like a heavy weight over me as I considered the possibility of the portal doing to her what it had done to the woman. My breathing became erratic and my hands trembled. No, no, no. This couldn't be happening. I pulled out my phone in order to shine a flashlight around. Maybe I had missed her. Maybe she had fallen off the nearby ledge and hurt herself. Just as I unlocked it, it starting buzzing.  


"Hello? Where are you?"  


Her voice sounded fuzzy and distant, "At the apartment---- portal wouldn't---"  


Overhead, the sky filled with black storm clouds and lightning lit up the trees. I glanced around, finally recognizing where I was. It was the outcropping in the forest that Thor and Loki landed on once Thor pulled him off the quinjet. And if there was a storm appearing out of nowhere, that meant that Thor was nearby. I needed to get off the phone.  


"I can't hear you very well. I don't know whether it's because of being in the middle of the forest or because we're in different realities, but Thor and Loki are on their way here so I'll have to try and call you later. If I can."  


I hung up on her and tucked my phone into my bag. A huge boom of thunder sounded and I ducked behind some boulders just as Thor and Loki streaked through the sky, landing not twenty feet away. I crouched down further.  


They were mid argument, both beyond furious with the other. Thor was much more physically intimidating in person than he had ever looked in the movies. I had thought Loki was tall and broad, but he looked scrawny next to his older brother. They both made me feel tiny and vulnerable. I stayed hidden, waiting for the moment I knew was coming. Overhead, I heard a swoosh, and suddenly Thor was no longer there, having been tackled by the one and only Tony Stark.  


"I'm listening." Loki said mockingly after his brother had disappeared off the edge. His back was to me. I felt a chill come over me, and my heart was pounding like I had just finished walking up the three flights of stairs it took to get to my Spanish class. If there was ever a moment I felt like I was going to throw up, it was now. Despite all of my fear though, I knew I had to do this. I took a step forward, into the moonlight that had appeared once Thor's storm had dissipated.  


"Loki." I said. It came out much quieter than I had intended, but I knew he heard me nonetheless. His shoulders immediately tensed, and it was a long moment before he managed to turn around, slowly and with a careful composure. Finally able to see his face clearly, I noticed immediately how sickly he looked. There were dark shadows beneath his strangely bluish eyes, his hair was greasy, and his skin looked ghastly pale, even for him. He was silent, just staring at me as if I was the last thing he had expected. Which, I supposed, I was. I crossed my arms over my chest, swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat. It was hard to say where we stood now. Last time I had seen him, we had been on good terms. He had saved my life and I, his. Our parting had been bittersweet. However, in the time we had been apart, he had done everything he had promised he wouldn't do. As such, I wasn't quite sure how to talk to him.  


Ultimately, I decided that the best course of action would be to take things slowly, and gently. I didn't want to act out in my anger, and build up any resentment between us.  


"I see you made it back." My voice sounded weird, even to me. His mouth twitched and he lifted his chin a little, "Yes."  


Okay. So, he wasn't going to kill me on sight and he was willing to respond to me. I managed a weak smile, trying to seem open and friendly. His eyes narrowed slightly. I tried to keep calm.  


"How are you?"  


His eyes narrowed even further, "Better than ever before."  


There was a strong tension that had only intensified since I had started speaking, and I felt like he was a rubber band stretched tightly, moments from snapping. I needed to diffuse the tension, but it seemed like nothing I could say would do the job.  


"That's good."  


He moved, and before I had a chance to react, he was in front of me. His hand rested on my throat, his thumb placed lightly beneath my chin. Somewhere between a caress and a threatening hold. I sucked in a breath of air. His grip remained loose, barely there, but I knew he could easily crush my windpipe. I tried not to wince as I looked up at him. He was nearly unrecognizable at this distance. Very few traces of the Loki I had known remained. How had Heimdall ever believed me capable of stopping him? Perhaps that was why he had given me the ring.  


"You're real." He seemed confused, as if he had expected me to be an illusion. A trick of the mind. I frowned, slowly reaching up and grasping his wrist gingerly. His skin was freezing. I didn't attempt to remove his hand from my throat, just kept my hand on his as if it gave me some semblance of control over the situation.  


"Why wouldn't I be real?" I asked.  


His gaze searched my face, "How are you here? You shouldn't be here."  


In the distance, the sounds of fighting echoed and sent a flock of birds into the sky. I flinched and his grip tightened ever so slightly. I carefully reached my other hand up and took his between the two of mine. He allowed me to remove it from my neck. His hand was cool and calloused and familiar. The memory of us dancing surfaced in my mind as I brushed my thumb along his palm. I had never touched him so tenderly before, and was surprised he was allowing it, but he didn't seem like he was completely there. Something was definitely wrong with him.  


"A couple weeks after you left, Heimdall talked to me in a dream. He told me that you had... gotten yourself mixed into something bad. He wanted me to come here and try to help."  


"The bifrost is broken." He said, skeptical.  


"He said someone better than him in the field of magic was helping. I don't know who. You know how cryptic he can be."  


He looked away, "Mother."  


My eyes widened in surprise. It had never occurred to me that Frigga had been the one helping, although now that I thought about it, it made perfect sense. I opened my mouth. Our conversation was going well. It was time to convince him to stop, that what he was doing was nonsense, and that he needed to come back to himself.  


"So they sent you to stop me." He said before I could speak, turning his attention back to me. That sounded accusatory. I didn't want to anger him further.  


"They sent me to help you." I amended after a moment of silence.  


"Help." He said bitterly, "As if I'm a confused child." He stared down at me, "And what were you to do if you failed to convince me to end this?"  


"I- they- didn't really say much outside of 'fix the problem.'" I stuttered. I knew immediately that that had been the wrong thing to say. He ripped his hand out of my grasp, in the process noticing the ring on my finger. He quickly grabbed the hand it resided on tightly, inspecting it, "And what is this?"  


I tried to keep my calm, but this was downward spiraling so fast that I couldn't keep up. I resisted the urge to pull away from him. Although I suspected that I would be unable to if I tried, at least, not without breaking something.  


"Heimdall gave it to me. It's just to use as protection in case--" "In case you have to force me to stop?" He finished, his face flushed with fury.  


"No." I said forcefully, "No, Loki. You yourself said that it was dangerous here."  


"Yes. It is. And I am part of that danger." He hissed.  


"Stop." I demanded, and without meaning to, I had the armor spread across my hand and I yanked it from him. He stared up at me in disbelief.  


"What happened to you?" I asked crossly, "You told me you didn't want to become this."  


"I told you a lot of things." He replied darkly.  


I glared at him, feeling betrayed and hurt, "So everything you said to me was a lie?"  


"Did you really think I would bare all my feelings to you? You're nothing. I just needed you to set me free."  


There was darkness to him that was only now becoming evident. Something beyond the bitterness, mischief, and anger. A deep and sinister evil. But it wasn't his.  


"I don't believe you." I said, allowing the armor to spread across the rest of my body, covering even my face. My vision, although not obscured, was changed. I could still see Loki and the surrounding forest, but I could also see a pulsing energy, a reddish orange glow that emanated from within them.  


He smirked, adjusting his stance, "Are you going to fight me, Nellie?"  


"If I have to." I replied, with a certainty that surprised me. If I couldn't talk him out of this madness, then I was going to force him to end it. I wasn't going to let him destroy this world. I wasn't going to let him destroy himself.  


However, before either of us could make a move, the Avengers intervened.


	12. Chapter 12

Tony was the first to arrive. His arc reactor giving off a lot of the reddish orange light, although it was dim compared to the glow emanating from Loki. He landed just to the right of us and raised a hand towards us both, prepared to shoot should either of us make a move. The quinjet flew in behind him, hovering threateningly just off to the side.  


"What's going on here?" He asked. Thor was next to arrive, appearing from the sky above and arriving with little bolts of electricity running down his arms. He shone as bright as Loki, if not brighter. I put my hands up slowly, allowing my armor to retreat until I was standing in just the jeans and t-shirt I'd come in. Tony watched with surprise and suspicion. Steve appeared and held his shield at the ready. I felt nauseous under their gaze; and extremely vulnerable without the armor to protect me, but I didn't want to appear as a threat. Loki put his hands up as well, although somewhat mockingly.  


"Keep an eye on her." Tony directed to Thor. He lowered his hands and moved forward to secure Loki along with Steve. Loki didn’t resist. Thor looked at me, and I noticed a flicker of recognition in his eyes. Did he know who I was? I felt a wave a reassurance come over me. If Thor knew who I was, and why I was here, then perhaps he could provide some assistance in explaining my presence to the others. Perhaps I wouldn't need to make up some fabricated backstory. He walked over to me, clapping a hand on my shoulder and making me nearly jump out of my skin. He maneuvered so that his back was to the quinjet and our faces were blocked from anyone's view.  


"You're Nellie?" He asked in a quiet whisper. I gazed up at him in awe, just managing to barely nod my head. He smiled, "Nice to finally meet you. We have a lot to discuss, but it will have to wait." He glanced over his shoulder quickly, "Don't tell them about your association with Loki. Heimdall warns it may lead to trouble."  


"Wasn't planning on it." I murmured under my breath. Thor turned back so that he was once again facing the others. Steve and Tony stepped out of the quinjet moments later.  


"What in the hell is a high schooler doing out here, in the middle of nowhere, with technology like that?" He asked, looking around as though the trees would give him the answer he desired. Thor gave him a long and steady look, "She's a friend."  


"And I'm not a highschooler." I blurted out, annoyed that he had called me that and mortified that I had said that. Thor squeezed my shoulder lightly, and I took that as a sign that I needed to shut up.  


"She's here to help, same as me. She can be trusted."  


Steve and Tony didn't look too convinced, but there were more pressing matters at hand. Steve nodded, and they both turned to go back onto the quinjet. I hurried back to my earlier hiding spot to grab my bag and then joined them on the jet.

 

Immediately after arriving at the Helicarrier, we were directed to what I supposed could be referred as the bridge. It was the large room containing most of the agents on the ship. They sat in front of computers, making sure that everything was working properly and looking for the Tesseract. Director Fury stood at the command platform near the back of the room, glaring at the screens laid out before him. Agent Maria Hill stood next to him, occasionally leaning towards him to murmur an observation.  


The last thing I wanted to do was face Fury, and I felt nervous being separated from Loki. I watched as they led him down a different hallway. He kept eye contact with me until a guard pushed him forward, and then he was gone. He hadn't said anything on the quinjet, only stared at me from across the way, with occasional glances at the others. I wanted to talk to him again, now that he was restrained and, hopefully, calmer and more willing to listen. However, we were both under constant supervision now, and I feared I wouldn't be allowed to speak freely with him. Not without SHIELD listening in and ultimately deciding that I was somehow a threat. Especially if it came out that I was the one who had let him come back to this world, and was therefore responsible for the death and destruction he had caused. Steve and Tony filled in behind us. Tony was immediately drawn to the display screens a part of Fury’s command platform, and began fiddling with them nearby. Steve followed us to Fury, keeping a few paces behind us. He still seemed unsure about the whole situation.  


As we approached the director, Thor brushed up against my right side, leaning in as he threw a look over his shoulder, his long, blond hair hiding his face from Fury. "Let me do the talking." He whispered, so quietly that I wondered if he had spoken at all. I glanced up at him and he gave me a solemn look in return. I dipped my head slightly so that he knew I had heard him. I could feel Steve’s eyes on my back. I hoped he hadn’t overheard us.  


"Thor Odinson." Fury said, turning to face us. Natasha joined him and Maria. There was no way we could come up with a convincing enough lie, not even if Thor was the one to provide it.  


"Excuse me, but where is her mother?" He glared at me, crossing his arms over his chest; looking so fierce and cynical I nearly balked right then and there. I felt my face grow hot, but I couldn’t seem to move.  


“I told them bring your kid to work day was next week.” Tony said, not looking up from whatever he was messing with on the screen. Maria watched him out of the corner of her eye, probably making sure he wasn’t messing with anything important.  


"This is my friend. She's here to help." Thor said with a reassuring smile. Fury remained stone cold.  


"So you told the others. And she's from... Asgard, I presume?"  


"Aye." Thor replied, quickly and confidently. It was a bit of a stretch to say that. Not only because Thor and Loki were much more physically imposing than me, but also because they had a hard to define otherworldliness to them that I lacked. Fury's one visible brow rose. My heart sank.  


"Then why doesn't she dress like you?"  


Thor glanced at me, realizing seemingly for the first time that I was in clothing that was very un-Asgardian; Jeans and t-shirts weren't exactly a staple of their fashion. He tried to double back and come up with an explanation, but Fury interrupted him.  


"Now you can try to explain that, but there's also the fact that she has a very Earth-like cellphone that has received multiple phone calls since she arrived on this ship." Natasha handed Fury my silver iPhone with a slight smirk. My eyes widened and I patted my pockets, even though it was obvious that my cell was no longer there. He flipped the phone around as it started buzzing, "Seems like you're getting a phone call from ‘the Robin to my Batman’."  


How was it possible that they had gotten my phone? And, more importantly, how in the hell was I able to get calls from home?  


Fury tossed me my phone. "Now, is someone here going to tell me the goddamn truth?"  


Thor let out a weak chuckle, placing his hands on his hips. He smiled, looked around, let out a long breath that caught a few pieces of the hair that framed his face, and frowned. He didn’t seem to be able to come up with anything. I sighed, deciding that some truth was better than nothing, "Okay. Fine."  


Fury leaned back on his heels a bit, surely preparing himself for the lie he thought I was about to give him. My phone buzzed almost constantly in my hand.  


"I'm from Earth, but not from this Earth." I ran a hand through my hair, a bit flustered, "It's hard to explain, but there are an infinite number of realities, and I'm from a different one. One where all of this," I gestured around the Helicarrier, "doesn't exist."  


“Say what now,” that got Tony’s full attention. He walked over to where we were standing, pointing the pen he had gotten from somewhere at me, “You say you’re from another reality?”  


“Well, yeah.” I said.  


He looked at the others, “Is that possible? You guys got a interdimensional portal machine hidden around here somewhere?” He twirled the pen in a circle.  


“Um, actually, it’s very possible.” I turned to see a nervous looking man in a dress shirt and slacks make his way over. It took me a moment to realize who it was.  


“You know what she’s talking about Dr. Banner?” Natasha asked, looking curious. Bruce nodded, adjusting his glasses, “There’s been plenty of research done that shows that other realities are completely within the realm of possibility. We’ve just never been able to see them, let alone transport someone from one to another.” He shifted his focus to me, “Do they have that kind of technology where you’re from?”  


“No, not exactly--”  


"I can aid an answer to that," Thor interjected, giving me a quick glance, "Heimdall and my mother provided for her a portal here. They believe she will be of great help in defeating Loki."  


Since they had some reason to believe that I was telling the truth now, I took the opportunity to explain why we had lied. "We didn’t tell you the truth because we honestly didn't think you'd believe it." I offered, "The concept of so many different realities is hard to swallow, I know."  


Fury considered us for a long moment before nodding his head slightly, "Alright, I'll bite. I just hope you're as helpful as they think you are. Agent Romanoff will show you to your quarters."  


"Thank you." I smiled gratefully, feeling a weight lifted off my shoulders. Hopefully things would go more smoothly now that I had the team and SHIELD more or less on my side. Now I need only focus on Loki. 

"So you're from another reality?" Natasha asked as we walked down the hallway. I glanced at her and she returned it with cool composure. I wasn't feeling very warm towards her since she had taken my phone, yet I was extremely impressed. I had known she was renowned for espionage, but I hadn’t realized how good she was until she had turned those skills on me. I figured that this conversation was just another way to glean information from me, and was reluctant to speak, but I knew it was her job, and that she was just trying to protect SHIELD and the team from any potential threats.  


"Yup." I responded, directing my attention to the long, slightly curved hallway that stretched before us. Everything was the same medium gray color and a bit depressing. We passed a couple of other SHIELD agents, who nodded respectfully at Natasha.  


"And SHIELD doesn't exist there?"  


I adjusted the straps of my bag, "No. No SHIELD. No quote unquote superheroes, or villains from other planets. Just normal humans, for the most part. Causing trouble all on their own." The last part came out bitter and a little sarcastic; partially from my annoyance at the lack of something more, and partially derived from the destructive and violent nature of ordinary people.  
"Sounds kind of nice, actually. A little less complicated. I can't imagine why you would choose to come here."  


"I felt obligated." I replied.  


"Why?"  


I gave her a long look, thinking about all the trouble I had caused them, "I had the ability to help."

 

My room was small, smaller than my dorm room, and the same gray as everything else on the ship. The bed was tiny and the adjacent bathroom was more like a closet. However, I was grateful to have a space to myself, a space where I could be alone. I threw my bag on the bed, checked to make sure the door was closed, and looked down at my phone. I had numerous missed calls and messages from not only Brittani, but also from both my parents and siblings. I glanced through the messages from my family and found them all about what I had been talking about in the message I had sent them before leaving and about where in the hell I was. I decided to address those later and concentrate on figuring out what happened to Brittani.  


She picked up on the first ring, "Where are you?"  


Her voice sounded static-y and distant still, but I could hear her a lot better than before.  


"On the helicarrier. What happened to you after I left?"  


"I watched you walk through the portal and tried to follow, but it just spit me out onto the back patio and disappeared."  


"Oh. Shit.”  


"Yeah, pretty rude, if you ask me. I think I may have broken a toe when I landed."  


I felt somewhat humiliated by the fact that I had taken advantage of Heimdall and Frigga's assistance by trying to bring someone here, but also relieved. I could only imagine how difficult it would have been to explain her presence to Thor and the others. It had been hard enough to convince them to allow me to stick around.  


I started pacing from one end of the room to the other, "How much time has passed back home?"  


I could hear her walking around as well, "Less than an hour. How long has it been since you got there?"  


"Several hours maybe? I don't know for sure."  


"Okay. So time seems to be moving faster where you are."  


I let out a deep breath. That was reassuring. If at the end of this, I decided to go back, at least I wouldn't have missed as much.  


"What's happened so far?" She asked. I walked into the bathroom, examining my tired face in the mirror. I looked like a complete mess. My hair was knotted and my mascara was smudged. I sighed, "I confronted him. At first, it seemed like maybe he would listen, but he was quick to anger. He's annoyed that his mom sent me here. I almost fought him, but then the others showed up. Luckily Thor knows who I am. He helped me explain myself."  


"Do they know about you and Loki?"  


I cringed slightly, running my fingers through my hair to comb out the knots. Taken out of context, that could be a dangerous question for someone to overhear. I looked around my room once more, wondering if it was safe to be talking out loud.  


"No. Thor said that Heimdall warned him that it would 'lead to trouble' if they knew. No surprise there."  


"Not at all." She agreed.  


I opened my mouth to say more, adjusting my stance in front of the mirror. It was then that I noticed Loki's reflection in the mirror standing in the bedroom behind me. I gasped and spun around, clutching the metal sink.  


"What? What's the matter?" Brittani's voice sounded from the phone. Loki smiled at me. How in the hell was he here? I was certain that his lackies hadn't attacked the ship yet and set him free.  


"I'll have to call you back."  


"Oooookay, fine, but make sure you call your mom too. She's been blowing up my phone."  


"Gotcha." I hit the end button and slipped the phone into my pocket. "What're you doing here?"  


"I thought you wanted to talk?" He asked. When I didn't answer immediately, he walked around the room, examining the bland interior with distaste. I slowly inched my way out of the bathroom and along the wall. As I got closer to him, I noticed that his form wasn't entirely... tangible. This was one of his illusions. I relaxed slightly, coming away from the wall and sitting down on the edge of the bed. The rough blankets made the palms of my hands itch. He looked a lot better than he had earlier, but I wouldn't have been surprised if he was hiding how sick he looked by presenting himself in a better light. And while his hair was no longer greasy, and his skin was no longer so pale, there was a weariness in his eyes and movements that he didn't, or couldn't, hide. It seemed like what had only been a month for me had been a lot longer for him.  


"Are you actually going to listen to me?" I asked, watching him meander around the room.  


"Are you going to say anything worth listening to?"  


I rolled my eyes, talking more to myself than to him. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not going to talk to you about this right now, anyway.” He frowned at me in confusion and I gestured to the room, tapping my ear to indicate that someone may be listening.  


It took him a moment to understand, but once he did, he returned the eye roll, “You’re free to speak. They can’t listen in so long as I’m here.”  


Admittedly, I was pretty surprised that he would go so far as to seal off the room from any eavesdroppers. I thought for sure that he would love to see the drama that would unfold if they knew that we knew each other, and that I was the reason he was here in the first place. I took a moment to study him again, wondering why he had come here if he didn’t seem particularly interested in hearing me out. Maybe the indifference was all a part of his act. That was something that shouldn’t have surprised me. He always acted like he couldn’t care less, even when he cared a whole lot. I took a deep breath to calm myself.  


"Loki." I said softly. He didn't look at me, but I knew he was paying attention, "I'm sorry."  


That got his attention, "For what?" His tone was sharp; his voice like acid. If I didn't step carefully, things would go as they had gone earlier.  


"I'm sorry that I didn't do more to help you. I should've... I should've gone with you, or kept you from leaving in the first place."  


He spun around so that he was facing me. His face was unreadable. "Why? So I could be left powerless on your Earth? Under the control of some naïve little girl who pretends to be something she's not?"  


I pressed my lips into a thin line, trying to avoid getting angry, "Don't be mean."  


"Don’t tell me what to do. You think I don't see right through you?" Ironic, considering he was the one who was see-though at the moment, "You come here with a powerful Asgardian artifact you have no idea how to wield, filled with some delusion of being able to stop all that I have started, and go so far as to lie to those fools you look up to because you know if they knew the truth about you, you'd be locked up just as I am!"  


I was glad the ring wasn't in his line of sight, because I could feel the armor start to inch across my fingers. The urge to scream at him or hit him was so strong I nearly gave in, but, somehow, I managed to keep my cool.  


"You were listening to me talk to Fury?"  


"I've been listening to everything." He sneered. I nodded and stood up, taking the few short steps I needed to close the distance between us. It was strange to be this close to his illusions. There was no substance. No movement of air as he breathed. If I squinted hard enough, I could see the wall behind him.  


"Then listen to me now." I stared up at him. "We both know how this story ends. I may have not told you how you're defeated, but you know you lose. You don't get the Tesseract to Thanos; you lose the mind stone. You know you end up in prison for a year. And sure, you end up on the throne after a while, but at what cost? The death of your mom? Is it really worth it? No. Loki, this isn't who you are. This isn't who you want to be. You're better than this. I know you're better than this. Please, just let me help you. I don't want to see you get hurt."  


Surprisingly, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I blinked and looked away, hoping he hadn't noticed.  


"I don't want your pity."  


"I don't care. You need it. You need to see that someone cares about you."  


He snorted, "You don't care about me. You just needed a reason to play hero. A way to feel important."  


"No, Loki, listen, I--" I reached out to touch him, forgetting for a moment that he wasn’t really there. The tips of my fingers went through his neck. I pulled back.  


"I'm done listening." He waved his hand and disappeared.  


I let out a frustrated, but muffled, scream, roughly wiping at the tears that had escaped. My phone buzzed for the 100th time in my pocket. I whipped it out in annoyance and saw that it was my mom. I felt guilty for leaving as I had. Even if I didn’t want to, I needed to talk to her, if only so she would know I was okay and stop calling me.  


“Hi, mom.” I said, trying to hide the hoarseness in my voice.  


“Nellie, oh my God, where are you? What did you mean you were leaving? What’s going on?” She sounded panicked, which was reasonable considering the last time I had contacted her I had sent her a vague message explaining how I was leaving to go elsewhere and that I wouldn’t be able to talk for an indefinite amount of time.  


“Mom, I don’t think you’d believe me if I told you.”  


“Are you in some kind of trouble?”  


I sat back down on the bed, bouncing my knee, “No, mom, I’m fine.”  


“Then where are you? Why aren’t you telling me anything? Just tell me what’s going on.”  


“Okay, fine. I’m in another reality on the Helicarrier with the Avengers about to fight Loki, because his and Thor’s mom, Frigga, and Heimdall think that I’ll somehow be able to stop him. I don’t know how long I’ll be here, but time seems to be moving faster, so no matter how long it is for me, it’ll be shorter for you. If I come back at all, which is still up in the air. Any other questions?”  


She was quiet for a long minute. I waited impatiently for her response. “Nellie, is school becoming too stressful for you? You know you can come home at anytime, you don’t need to go off on your own, we can help you.”  


She sounded like she thought I was crazy, which was to be expected. I knew she wouldn’t believe me, but at least I told her the truth, even if she didn’t believe it. Someone knocked lightly on the door, and it creaked open to reveal Thor. I held a hand up and he nodded. I sighed, “No, I’m sorry. I’m not coming home. I need to handle things here first. I’m… I’m really sorry. I have to go. I love you.”  


I hit end before she could argue with me and tossed my phone towards my bag.  


“Who was that?” Thor asked, leaning against the doorframe with his huge arms crossed over his chest.  


“My mom. She thinks I’m having a psychotic break.”  


“Are you?” He smiled, so I knew he was joking.  


I laughed a little, though considering where I was, I did find myself seriously considering it a possibility, “Maybe.”  


We were both quiet for a moment. I stood up, straightening out my shirt and wiping under my eyes to get rid of any residual tears or smeared mascara. “So, what’s up?”  


He glanced over his shoulder, “Well, I was hoping to talk to you, but…” His eyes roamed the room. He knew, too, that anything we said could be overheard.  


“Yeah. I know.”  


“Did you talk to him?” He asked. There was something in his voice. He sounded worried, but also a little hopeful.  


“Yeah,” I held up two fingers to indicate that I had talked to Loki twice, “he’ll talk but he’s too angry to really hear me out.”  


Thor frowned, “I feared as much.”  


“What do I do?” I questioned, feeling very much like the child they all seemed to consider me to be.  


He stopped leaning against the doorframe, taking a step into the hallway, “Come join the others. They have not stopped speaking about you since you left. They are very curious to hear about your world.”  


I hesitated, but eventually gathered the courage to follow him out and back towards the bridge.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting a team member who failed to show in the movies throws everything she knows about the MCU into question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter introduces Ruth, an OC of a friend of mine who has her own story posted on here!  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/15278172/chapters/35441826
> 
> The author, https://archiveofourown.org/users/broqueroi/pseuds/broqueroi, is also my editor of sorts on this work, starting on chapter twelve.
> 
> So, if you'd like, check out her story! It's set back during the events of the first Captain America movie and includes some Stucky (Steve/Bucky)!

The walk to the bridge was both the longest and the shortest walk of my life. While I had already encountered almost all of the team, I hadn’t yet had a sustained conversation with any of them outside of Thor, and I was unbelievably nervous. In order to distract myself, I turned to asking Thor questions. I figured this was the perfect time to ask about the ring and its capabilities, as I didn’t have much time left until I might need to use it.  


“Thor,” He looked down at me; all blond hair, bulging muscles, and barely contained power. Oh God, it was all beginning to sink in; where I was, who I was talking to. I feared if I gave myself too much time to think about it, I might dissolve into a puddle of uncontrolled emotions. I pushed myself to keep talking in order to avoid that. “What do you know about this?” I held up my hand to give him a better view of the delicate piece of jewelry.  


“Did Heimdall not explain when he gifted it to you?” He asked. I shook my head. He seemed thoughtful as he returned his gaze to the hallway in front of us, his brow creased. I briefly wondered if he was going to tell me at all, but then he began to speak, starting out slow and hesitant, as if the topic was one not often talked about.  


“There is a legend that my father told my brother and I when we were but children, of objects of power created by the Asgardian royal family in order to cement their rule over the nine realms. One was Mjolnir.” He hefted his hammer up into the air in front of him, twisting it in his hand and letting the overhead fluorescent lights illuminate the intricate designs on its surface. There was a slight hum emanating from it, indicative of the immense power it held. It was reminiscent of the reverberation that came from the ring.  


“The other was a ring, the name of which has been lost over the eons since its creation. Like Mjolnir, it has a mind of its own, and is deeply connected to its user. Wherever I should go, Mjolnir will always follow so long as I am deemed worthy. The ring cannot be removed except by the wearer, and reacts to the slightest thought or emotion. This is something I believe you have already discovered?”  


I nodded.  


He continued, “Unlike Mjolnir, the ring can be used by those whose thoughts and actions have taken a darker turn. Not too long after its creation, a prince of Asgard, angry with his father for refusing to eliminate their enemies, turned against the throne.”  


“Seems to be a common theme.” I interjected, earning myself an amused, though slightly embarrassed, look.  


“Yes, well, it is my understanding that princes of all realms, Earth included, are known for being hot headed.”  


I laughed, “Men in general, I think, but fair enough.”  


He smiled briefly before a somberness took over. “The ring gave the prince indestructible armor that could absorb all impacts inflicted upon it and turn the resulting energy into a weapon to be used at the prince’s discretion. He slaughtered thousands. No one could stop him.”  


I was beginning to feel more than a little uncomfortable with the idea of possessing such an object. The reddish gleam within had never seemed malicious before, but now I couldn’t help but imagine it as the blood of those killed.  


“How was he defeated?”  


“He wasn’t.” Thor answered grimly, “He ruled for many years after killing his father. Conquered all nine realms. After some time, his power became unquestioned. He grew older and realized his wrongs. He removed the ring, and it was hidden away by the queen so that no one could use it again.”  


We were both silent for a moment while we contemplated the story. Eventually I was able to ask the question that had been nagging at me for a while, “Why in the hell did they give it to me then?”  


He stopped walking and turned to me just as we reached the bridge. Standing just out of sight of the SHIELD agents, he leaned in a little so that he could better look me in the eye. I took a half step back, unsure of what he was doing.  


“That is a question I cannot answer, but know that my mother, and Heimdall, must have a lot of faith in your ability to not only stop Loki, but resist the temptations of power as well. As the being who wears the ring has the ability to conquer the nine realms, should they wish to do so.”  


“That’s… a lot of pressure.” I admitted.  


“That it is.” Thor agreed, not helping at all. The amount of trust and faith that Heimdall and Frigga seemed to have in me was staggering considering only one of them had ever met me before, and especially since that meeting had been extremely brief. Although, my guess was that Heimdall was pretty much always watching these days. And it was important to note he also had the ability to see the choices and subsequent consequences other realities had faced. If anyone was capable of making an informed decision on a risky choice such as this, it was him.  


Thor led me to a room overlooking the bridge; the wishbone lab. It was filled with scientific equipment that I knew from seeing the movie was for tracking down the energy that the Tesseract emitted. Bruce worked diligently, entering calculations and watching the resulting simulations on the screens. Tony wandered around, occasionally looking over Bruce’s shoulder to assess the work he was doing. He held a bag of some small snack food that I couldn’t identify and couldn’t remember. Steve stood off to the side, his arms crossed over his chest and a pensive look on his face. He looked up when we walked in, however, and gave me a small smile.  


“I was wondering whether we had scared you off.” He teased.  


I smiled back nervously, “I don’t scare that easily, just had to take care of a few things.” While talking to these guys definitely was nerve-racking, it was nothing compared to having to deal with Loki one-on-one. They considered me a part of the team; they didn’t seem to doubt my intentions anymore; and after having my chat with Thor, I felt capable of handling any interaction with the rest of the team. More or less.  


Our conversation got Bruce’s attention, and he stepped out from behind the holographic screen, “Glad to see you could join us.”  


“Yes, Banner here is thrilled by the idea of other realities existing. Won’t quit trying to figure out how to prove it. Maybe you could help.” Stark said, sounding casual but obviously intensely curious himself. I held up my hands, “I’m sorry guys, but I don’t know how it works. I just walked through the portal that appeared and then I was here.”  


Bruce mumbled something under his breath as he leaned down and scribbled something on a notepad. Evidently even my vague statement held some valuable information. I glanced at Thor. He was the one who was more likely to be able to answer their questions, as it was some sort of Asgardian magic or technology that was used to create the portals, but he had directed his attention elsewhere. I followed his line of sight to a nearby screen that showed Loki pacing his cage. My heart jumped into my throat when, exactly at the moment I looked at him, he turned and stared directly into the camera. He smiled and I averted my eyes in annoyance. I had almost forgotten he was listening in on it all. He probably knew I was watching him and wanted to harass me in any way he could. I felt the hatred I had felt for him in the very beginning start to bubble up, but pushed it down. Hating him wouldn’t help me defeat him, in fact, it would just give him more of a reason to ignore me. I needed to deal with him using compassion and kindness, if possible. My mind wandered to the meadow, the scent of the flowers nearly as sharp as when I had first breathed it in. I could do it. But only because I knew there was another side of him worth trying to save.  


“Blueberry?” Tony asked, coming to stand next to me. I shook my head silently. I didn’t like blueberries much. He withdrew the bag of fruit and glanced between the screen and me.  


“So what are you doing here?”  


I took a deep breath, clearing out the thoughts of Loki and turning to face him, “What do you mean?”  


“Big baddie from space attacks and you choose to jump into the fight even though it’s not your world, your reality, to protect? You can understand where there’s some confusion. Especially since I distinctly remember you saying that nothing like any of this exists where you’re from.”  


Why was everyone asking me this question? Was it so hard to believe that someone would be willing to help them, even if it meant risking their own safety? Sure, the only reason I had “jumped into the fight” was because I was partially responsible; but I liked to think that there were a few people who would do it just to help. And they didn’t know me well enough to know that I wasn’t that type of person.  


I shrugged, “Why is it so hard to believe that someone wants to help you guys?”  


Steve smiled from where he was leaning against the wall across the room. Tony didn’t seem to find it as amusing.  


“How old are you anyway?”  


“Nineteen.” I replied, my voice flat and edged with steel. I did not want to deal with another snarky comment about how young I supposedly was.  


“Do your parents know you just ran off to another reality?”  


“Yes.” Now, I thought, and they don’t believe me, but what did it matter, anyway? I was old enough to not have to answer to them. It may hurt their feelings, but that was a necessary cost of fixing my mistake.  


"Lalala." Someone sang as they casually strolled into the room and punched Steve in the bicep on the last, forceful “la”, breaking the tension that had begun to build. I couldn’t hide the immediate surprise I felt seeing the girl.  


“So, this is where you've been. When you weren't at the gym, I thought you had flung yourself from this flying monstrosity.” She said, crossing her arms over her chest and looking up at Steve with an ungodly amount of sass.  


“I was hoping you’d eventually join us.” He said.  


“Too much testosterone.” She replied dryly, looking around the room. Her eyes stopped when she reached me, “Who’s this? You guys brought on another girl and didn’t tell me?!”  


Steve smiled, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Ruth this is Nellie, Nellie this is Ruth.”  


She seemed to be of asian descent, with long black hair and an olive skin tone. If I had to guess, she was probably around my age, maybe a year or two older. She adjusted her leather jacket and reached out her hand. I shook it tentatively; unsure of what was happening. There was no one named Ruth in the movies. I had never seen anyone like her before. So who was she? What was she doing here? And what did this indicate about the accuracy of the movies? No one seemed surprised or confused about her presence, so everyone else must have known her and understood her place.  


“I’m sorry,” I said, trying to hide my confusion and failing miserably, “are you… are you a part of the team?”  


She smirked, “Of course. They weren’t about to invite Steve out here to kick ass and not include me.”  


This changed everything. If there were people involved who weren’t shown in the movies, that meant that some or all of the major events could be different as well. Which also meant that I no longer had the upper hand in knowing what was to happen. A bit of fear and worry stirred in my chest.  


“Are you alright?” Ruth asked.  


“Yeah, I’m just tired is all. It’s been a long day. I think I’m going to go lie down.” I said, and left the room as fast as I could.  


I needed to get away to think about how this was all going to play out. I got back to my room in about twice the time it took to get to the bridge earlier. The hallways all looked the same and I took a wrong turn more than once. When I finally did get back, I shut the door behind me and sat on the bed, feeling stressed and a little lonely. How was I supposed to do this? I had been counting on my knowledge of the movies to help me navigate this whole venture. If things were different, I felt there was a much more likely chance of me failing. I didn’t want to disappoint Frigga and Heimdall, and I sure as hell didn’t want to die trying to do what they asked of me. And what about Ruth? Did her presence mean the movies were completely off? I couldn’t imagine them omitting a character. Did that mean that this universe wasn’t the one represented in the movies? Did that mean Loki could win this fight? My head spun with the possibilities. I needed answers.  


I laid back in the bed and closed my eyes, taking a couple of deep breaths. Maybe I could contact Heimdall if I concentrated hard enough. He knew I was here, and he had to be watching.

* * *

I was standing outside of a building that kind of reminded me of my parents’ house. The sky was a medium, depressing gray and a slight wind blew the bare branches of the surrounding trees. Some of the team, I couldn’t tell who, stood off to my right, staring at the house just as I was. Within a few moments, the front door opened, and out stepped the creature I immediately recognized as Thanos, although I hadn’t seen but glimpses of him in the end credit scenes. Behind him, Loki emerged as well. My breath caught in my throat and I felt like someone was squeezing my heart in my chest.  


“Remove her fingers.” Thanos said, his voice low and gravelly. I made eye contact with Loki and he looked at me with an unfathomable amount of sorrow. I slowly nodded at him, feeling hot tears course down my cheeks. He seemed hesitant, but another glare from Thanos and he gave in, mouthing some words I couldn’t hear. My left hand was viciously forced out in front of me, nearly dislocating my shoulder. My fingers were forcibly spread apart, and, as I watched, black tendrils curled around my ring finger and tightened, removing everything above the first knuckle.  


I didn’t feel any pain, and a little voice in the back of my head told me that was Loki’s doing. Nothing could tame the terror and grief that ran through me, though; It was not for myself, but for Loki. I knew inside that it was killing him to do this, and that if I asked him to stop, he would. Only, if he did stop, Thanos would kill him on the spot. I couldn’t let that happen, and so I refused to cry out. I focused instead on the idea that it would be easy to replace my fingers. Repeating that chant in my head over and over again. My ring, middle, and pointer fingers were all removed before Thanos grew tired of that and asked for the next thing to be removed to be my eye.  


That was where Loki drew the line. He refused, ending the spell and allowing for my hand to drop back down to my side. It took me a moment to realize what was happening, but once I did, the fear intensified. Thanos smiled, and the same black tendrils curled around Loki’s neck. It was in that moment that I screamed “no”, bending over double with the intensity. The ground and the air trembled, making everything look fuzzy for a moment. My chest tightened and my throat felt raw from the force of the shriek.

I sat in my desk chair, mouthing the words to a song I didn’t recognize as it played through my headphones. I seemed to be in my old dorm room. In front of me, my laptop was open and I could tell that I was writing something, but I couldn’t read any of the words.  


“I'm addicted to madness, but what can I say?” The guy sang into my ears. I heard myself whisper the lyrics along with.

“You need to leave.” Loki said, grabbing my shoulders tightly. We stood out in the parking lot outside of a very small mall. The sky was dappled and looked strange. The grass was a vivid green. I gestured back at the mall angrily, “There is nowhere safe to go, don’t you understand? His Black Order is dead! He will never stop looking for me now.”  


“You know that’s not true.” He replied.  


I felt my eyes water up as I cupped his face in my hands, “I can’t. Please, Loki, neither of us are safe. He knows. Just come with me, we can’t keep doing this.”

I stood in a house on the outskirts of a city that I thought to be New York. Bruce Banner stood in the room with me, and a few others who I didn’t recognize. He glanced out of the window and his eyes widened. He turned to me, “You need to see this.”  


We walked outside onto a cracked sidewalk. The grass on either side was overgrown. In the sky, a large, swirling mass of dark clouds formed over the skyscrapers in the distance. A ship, shaped like a large circle, appeared and and I felt a stab of fear pierce my heart. I looked at Bruce, “We need to get to Tony. Now.”

* * *

I shot straight up in bed, feeling uncomfortably warm and more than a little confused. I pressed the palm of my hand to my forehead, trying to collect my thoughts. I must have accidentally fallen asleep. It was a little irritating that I hadn’t been able to speak with Heimdall. Especially since my accidental nap had left me with even more unanswered questions than before. This was the second time I’d had such lifelike dreams, if I didn’t count the conversation with Heimdall when he gave me the ring. What did they mean? And why was I having them?  


A check of the time informed me that it was early morning, and I knew that the attack could begin any minute. If things went the way I knew them to go. I needed to be prepared. I jumped out of bed, grabbed my pack, and went into the bathroom; washing my face and changing into different clothes. Despite my annoyance at having fallen asleep (it seemed like an amateurish move considering the situation), I felt better and more capable of handling what was to come.  


Now I was faced with a dilemma. If things went as they had in the movies, Clint and the other agents who had been forced under the control of the mind stone would be attacking soon. They would destroy one of the engines and send the carrier plummeting to the ground below, in the process freeing Loki. This could be my last opportunity to talk to him, even if it was all on camera and risked blowing my cover. Plus, I could prevent him from being set free and maybe keep the Chitauri army from ever getting to Earth, assuming Erik Selvig couldn’t do it on his own. Although, I doubted Loki hadn’t prepared for the possibility of him not returning to the Tesseract. On the other hand, by trying to interrupt what might be the natural flow of events I could make things much, much worse and contribute to a possible victory for Loki by mistake.  


I rubbed my eyes, frustrated. How could they have ever thought me capable of handling this?  


After a few minutes of deliberation, I started out into the hallway and headed towards the bridge, deciding that the best course of action was waiting with the others until the attack, should it come, and then heading to Loki. Hopefully, in the confusion, no one would be listening to what I had to say to him.  


Preoccupied with thinking about what I could to say to Loki, considering he had yet to listen to me thus far, I turned the corner and ran headfirst into Ruth. The ring reacted before I did, covering my body in the scale-like armor faster than I could blink. Ruth went flying backwards a few feet on impact, the scales in my body armor glowing orangish-red where she hit. I felt none of the impact, and remained standing where I was, more than a little shocked and confused as to what had just happened.  


“What in the hell? What just happened?” Ruth asked, sitting on the floor, looking a little dazed, and rubbing her forehead. I quickly retracted the armor, running towards her.  


“I am so so sorry! I didn’t realize that it would do that. Are you alright?”  


She grinned, “I’m fine. That is badass armor though!”  


“Thanks.” I laughed, kind of surprised but glad that she wasn’t upset.  


“Where have you been? You left in kind of a hurry.”  


I sighed, “I just needed a moment to get away. It’s kind of overwhelming, all of this.”  


She nodded, “You’ll get used to it.”  


After a moment of silence, I got the courage to ask the question that had eating away at me since she had first appeared, “So, how did you end up on the team?”  


“Well,” She grimaced, “I totally would have landed on my butt homeless and broke if it wasn't was for good ol Stevie. The dumbshit basically forced Fury's hand to put me on the team also." She stayed quiet for a few seconds, "So, I basically go around touching stuff that I have no idea what it is, and end up breaking it. One time I broke this machine that tosses breads back out at you? Gotta tell ya the guys around the break room were not amused."  


I did a double take, wondering what she meant on that last part. A machine that tossed bread back out at you? Did she mean a toaster? I couldn’t hold back from laughing a little, "You mean a toaster?"  


"Ah yes that is what they called the little thing. "  


It was interesting. The way she talked and how she didn’t know about something as common as a toaster. Something was definitely different about her. And how was she involved with Steve? Why would he vouch for her and ask for her to be on the team? If I remembered correctly, he isolated himself from most of the world after coming out of the ice. “So how do you know Steve?” I asked, puzzled.  


“Oh, it’s a weird little story. Well, I guess not as weird as being from another reality but… We fought in the same war, punching Nazis side by side until he decided to take the hero thing to a whole new level by crashing the plane in the freaking ice. Somehow I survived with him and now I’m here.” She replied, adding under her breath, “I should really write a book one of these days.”  


So she was from the 1940’s as well? And fought with Steve in World War II? I must have had a strange look on my face as I tried to wrap my mind around the existence of a whole new character, because she said, “I guess it is pretty weird if you think about it.”  


“No, no, I mean, it is a little weird." I laughed, "That kind of stuff doesn’t exactly happen where I’m from, but, neither does traveling to another reality so I think we’re at the same level of weirdness when it comes to origin stories.”  


"Speaking of weirdness, tell me about your world. Oh, and I was on my way to get some of that frozen yoghurt thing? The Stark guy complained this ship was as boring as a retirement home, so he flew in some stuff that I can't even begin to explain. You want to join me?"  


I hesitated. The ship could be attacked any moment, and I didn’t want to be off my guard. At the same time, however, I was still unsure about the best course of action when dealing with the attack. So, maybe I wouldn’t go to the bridge nor to Loki, but with Ruth. If everything was still supposed to go as it had in the movie, then Loki would still be defeated. And if it didn’t… well, then there was not much I could do but wait and do my best when the time to fight came. Plus it might be useful to learn more about the unexpected Avenger.  


“Sure.” I said, “Lead the way.”  


She pulled out a phone similar to an iPhone and turned the screen so I could see it. From the looks of it, it was a map of the helicarrier. "Sweet. The cool lady Natasha gave this to me, so that I can stop getting lost. It's surreal how anyone here just knows where to go."  


“Are you kidding?” I looked closely at the screen, “Why didn’t they give me one of these? I spent nearly twenty minutes trying to find my room earlier!”  


She snickered, "You know what here, take this one. I'll play stupid with them, tell them I dropped it in the toilet and flushed it. They’ll give me another one." She handed it to me with a wink and began walking in the direction she was probably going before. "Is it alright with you to ask about your reality? Because I think it's real swell, that there are multiple worlds. Even multiples of us?" She said the last part hesitantly, like she wasn’t sure about the whole thing.  


I followed. It could be dangerous; talking to her about where I was from. I was worried that she would ask questions that I couldn’t answer. But it was important not to give her, or the team in general, any reason to be suspicious of me, and continuing to be so withholding could get me in trouble. “Uh, yeah, sure. Where do I even begin?”  


"You don't look too much older or younger than me."  


“I’m nineteen. I was attending, well, I guess I still am kind of attending, college. I don’t know if and when I’ll go back so that’s in the air right now.”  


"Wow, college. In my time only the rich fellas went to that sort of thing."  


“Things have certainly changed. It was like that at home in the 40’s too, I think. How old are you?”  


"And mostly for the better I hope. Umm.. about eighty-eight years old?" She replied with a smirk. "I should be twenty-one if we don't count the time under ice."  


“You don’t look a day over twenty-five.” I joked lamely. I wanted to make a smart remark about how Tony didn’t seem to think she was too young to be here, but I knew we were here because of entirely different circumstances, so an argument about that would lack substance. Not to mention the fact that she was technically older than all of us. We reached a room near the back of the Helicarrier. The room was filled to the brim with luxury items and lounge chairs with the “Stark” logo emblazoned on them. A popcorn machine resided in one corner, gleaming under the lights. Right next to it was what I thought to be the yoghurt machine. Bright red letters spelled out “MR FREEZIE” on the front. On the other side of the room was a fully stocked bar, from the looks of it.  


"So I guess they just shoved the whole thing in here, huh?" Ruth commented, walking towards the yoghurt machine.  


“I guess. I don’t know how in the hell he got Fury to tolerate this, though.” I imagined that either Fury was turning his blind eye to the whole thing because he needed Tony to help find the Tesseract, or Tony had paid off some of the lower agents and Fury was none the wiser.  


Ruth grabbed a nearby glass and swirled some of the frozen yoghurt into it. She scooped up a spoonful, shrugging as she took a bite of the sweet dessert, “Starks have a tendency to do what they want. In my experience.  


“How did you end up here? If you don’t mind me asking. Steve said a magic portal of sorts?”  


“That’s one way to put it. Although I’m not sure whether it is really magic or advanced technology that we don’t have. Bruce said earlier that it’s possible, we just don’t fully understand it yet.” I replied, grabbing an apple from a basket of fruit on the counter near the popcorn machine. I took a bite, and was immediately hit hard by how hungry I was. In all the excitement, I’d completely forgotten how long it had been since I’d eaten.  


“So you did this hero work back in your world and then Thor brought you here to help out when we got ourselves into this mess?” She asked.  


I took another bite of my apple in order to prolong having to give an answer. What was the best thing to say? I really didn’t like having to keep lying to them all, and I especially hated the idea of lying to Ruth since she had been so nice to me. Telling her the truth, however, wasn’t a risk worth taking.  


I swallowed, “Not… exactly.”  


She paused, looking at me for a moment before looking back down at her yoghurt, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”  


I sighed, “It’s just-- I don’t-- I don’t think that anyone would understand my reasoning-- for coming here.”  


That didn’t seem to clear anything up, as she still looked confused, but I was glad she didn’t press the issue. I finished my apple and tossed it through the air towards the nearest trash can. Just as it was about to land, an explosion sounded down the hallway and sent the Helicarrier tilting severely to one side. The trash can slid to the right and the apple hit the floor, rolling after it. Ruth and I stumbled. I fell into one of the lounge chairs, hitting the metal floor hard when the chair moved away from me. Fortunately, my armor had already dispersed and absorbed all of the shock. Ruth was already on her feet. I quickly scrambled up after her. The armor had spread fully, and so I was again able to see what I know believed to be the energy within living things. Ruth glowed surprisingly bright; red-orange whisps radiating from her.  


“We’re being attacked.” I said. She looked over at me and her eyes widened for a moment, “Woah, your eyes are all black.”  


I reached up and gently touched the armor the covered the skin around my eyes. Interesting. I had yet to see what I looked like in the armor, but now I was intensely curious. It would have to wait though. Another explosion rocked the ship and we both slid forward a couple of inches.  


Ruth pulled two glocks out of seemingly nowhere, “We need to get to the others.”  


I shook my head, “I have to get to Loki.”  


"What for?"  


That was a difficult question to answer. I hesitated, unsure of what reasoning I could give that she would accept, “This is probably him trying to escape. I need to make sure he doesn’t get away.” Not a lie, but not the whole truth either. This was possibly my last chance to talk to him before he unleashed the Chitauri. I needed to get to him as fast as possible; while he was still on the ship but unwatched. I pulled out the phone she had given me, trying to interpret the map. She could probably tell me where the room was, but I didn’t want her coming along with me.  


"Ugh, what the hell. The containment room is on the east side of the carrier. You would need to use the stairs. Down two flights." She reached over and pinned the destination on the phone for me. "Follow the directions. And Nellie, don't die."  


I smiled gratefully, although I wasn’t sure if the armor showed that. “Thanks, Ruth. Try not to die yourself.”  


With that we went our separate ways.


	14. Chapter 14

The map that Ruth had given me was beyond useful in getting to the containment room in a hurry. I made it to the stairs she told me about within a couple of minutes, luckily managing to avoid any trouble. However, the second I stepped into the stairwell, my luck changed.  


Three heavily armed men were on the the landing directly below me, and the second I stepped out, they starting shooting. I cringed back, heart racing, as the bullets pinged off of the metal stairs, feeling a few of them hit my armor as well. I’d almost forgotten that it was impenetrable, I stayed back against the wall. Wisps of dim red-orange energy were left in the wake of the bullets. After about thirty seconds they stopped, probably assuming that I had to have been dead or injured. Time to see what this ring could do.  


I impulsively launched myself over the railing, dropping the ten or so feet to the landing where the men resided. Perhaps a risky move considering I didn’t know the full prowess of the ring. A thrill of adrenaline coursed through me as I made what Deadpool would have fangirled over being a “superhero landing”. Startled, the men backed up as far as they could in the small space and opened fire again. I ignored the shots and instead focused on redirecting the energy back at the men as it was absorbed by the armor, remembering what Thor had told me earlier about how the ring worked. I stretched out my hand and, with merely a thought, aimed a blast of energy at the nearest of the attackers. A ball of the same reddish-orange light caught him in the chest, and he was slammed into the wall of the stairwell. I cringed slightly, a little taken aback by the power I wielded before quickly dispatching the second assailant with a similar blast. It was them or me, I kept telling myself. I tried not to go all out. I didn’t want to kill them. These guys weren’t fighting of their own free will, evident by their vividly blue eyes; a mark of the mind stone’s influence.  


The third abandoned his gun and took out a knife, tackling me and throwing us both down to the next landing. Unfortunately, he landed on top of me, immediately bringing down the knife in what would have been a fatal stab to the chest. Fortunately, as soon as the tip of the blade touched the armor, it shattered in a brilliant array of silver slivers and orange light. The scraps of metal lacerated his hand and head badly, injuring his eyes. He grabbed at his face, rolling off to the side. I scrambled to my feet. All three of them seemed to still be alive. I breathed a sigh of relief. After a brief moment of consideration, I destroyed their weapons so that they couldn’t shoot at anyone else. I left them laying on the ground and retrieved my new phone from where I’d dropped it on accident. Luckily it was undamaged.  


I ran out of the stairwell and into a long, empty hallway. About halfway down I could see a panel of windows reflecting the light and a door further down the wall. The containment room. I sprinted for the door, hoping that I wasn’t too late. It was always hard to gauge the time that passed in movies, especially ones involving so much action. For all I knew, he was already gone.  


I reached the door severely out of breath. I really needed to hit the gym if I was going to be some kind of hero, because fighting bad guys was exhausting. A brief glimpse into the room sped up my heartbeat even more. I couldn’t see Loki in his glass cage. Shit. Those three men had probably released him. I placed my hand on the handle of the door, debating my best course of action. There was a chance he was still hanging around, waiting for Thor to arrive so he could dispatch of him. I took a few deep breaths to get my breathing under control and to calm down before pressing down on the handle and entering the room slowly. I closed the door quietly behind me and allowed the armor to retract off of my face. It was turning out to be a little distracting, as it dulled and distorted every color other than red and orange.  


I searched the room with my eyes before cautiously taking several more steps inside, making my way down the walkway and towards the center of the room. The door to the glass cage was standing open. So he had escaped. I relaxed my stance a bit now that I knew there wasn’t anyone who might attack me, and began brainstorming my next move. He could have already jumped ship, but because of the sounds I could still hear in the distance; explosions, gunshots, screams, and the occasional angry bellow from the Hulk; I figured that we were still under attack, meaning that Loki and his lackeys were still around causing trouble. I considered waiting until he returned. If the glass cage was still here, then he hadn’t trapped Thor in it and released it yet. Though, things had proven to be different, and there was no telling whether or not that event would actually come to pass at all. It might be best for me to return to the fray, join the others in fighting off the invaders, and pray that I was given a later opportunity to stop Loki.  


I had only been here a day or so and I already felt that I was running out of time. If I missed this opportunity to talk to him there would only be the battle in New York, and that was so disorganized and unstructured that getting the chance to even see him before everything went to hell was miniscule. I should have just come here in the first place instead of letting myself get distracted; But I hadn’t wanted to expose my past with Loki to the others, and I didn’t trust that Loki was preventing them from listening in, not when it would be to his advantage to allow them to overhear everything.  


I groaned with frustration. It was all so complicated, and every choice I made felt wrong. Why had I gone into this like it was going to be an easy task? I’d stepped through that portal without much more than a second thought. This might have been the worst decision I’d ever made. Second only, perhaps, to letting that trickster go in the first place.  


I turned on my heel to head back out into the hallway, up to the upper levels, and came face to face with the one person who seemed to consume my every thought. He cocked his head to the side with a slight smile, the scepter held tightly in his hand, and the mind stone glowing wickedly at its end.  


“I must say, the armor is rather becoming on you.” He said. I had tensed immediately in his presence, and the armor had reacted much like the fur on a cat might; the tiny scale-like segments rippling and glowing slightly before settling back into their original positions. Seeing him in person again, and having my armor react the way it did, triggered my memories the several dreams I had had involving him. Fighting on the streets of New York while he flew by overhead. Arguing with him and holding his face in my hands. Screaming over the thought of losing him. So many different emotions, including ones I’d never thought myself capable of having for him, the real him, fought for dominance. Everything felt so surreal. I struggled to distinguish fiction from reality. The line between the two was blurring so much that it was nearly impossible at this point. I felt heat rise to my neck and face as he looked on, clearly amused by the sight of my struggle. I managed to get a hold on myself after a moment.  


“I see you’ve been busy.” I said, my voice strained.  


He tightened his grip further, turning it slightly in his hand and glancing down at it before looking back at me with a smile, “Yes. Everything is going as foretold.”  


I frowned slightly, my confusion clearing away the other, more distracting, thoughts and emotions, “As foretold? I didn’t… you shouldn’t-- ”  


His eyes lit up, his smile turning truly devilish as he interrupted me, “I shouldn’t what? Know what happens?” He brushed past me, sauntering further into the room. “You think I would be so foolish as to rely solely on what little details you provided me with?” I could tell this was something that he had wanted to tell me for a while; his voice filled with eagerness and satisfaction.  


I took a few steps into the room after him, but kept my distance. The last two times I had talked to him, he was so angry and tortured. Now, he was brimming with confidence and mischief, almost back to his old self, although something was still missing.  


“You watched the movies, didn’t you?” I asked despairingly.  


He turned, holding his arms out wide dramatically, “Did you expect anything less?”  


I swallowed, considering what would happen now. He knew everything. He knew how he was defeated, and he could avoid it. He could win. He was smart. I should’ve guessed that something like this could, would, happen. What had I done?  


The ship listed further to the side, and I struggled to keep my footing, eventually slipping and catching myself with my hands. The phone Ruth had given me was slammed into the ground but remarkably unscathed. I quickly scrambled to my feet.  


“But not everything is going like it did in the movies.” I stared up at him, holding out the phone. He had remained unmoved despite the ship’s tilting.  


“There are different people who exist. Different events that have happened. You’ve been listening, you know this.” He stared back at me, showing no reaction to any of my statements.  


“This could still all fall apart for you.”  


“Hmm,” He took a few slow, meandering steps towards me, “you would like that, wouldn’t you?”  


“Is it that insane to say that yes, I would?” I too took a few steps forward, gesturing passionately in order to better get my point across, “I don’t want to see this city get destroyed, and I don’t want to see anyone get hurt.”  


He matched the distance, “No, you don’t want to deal with the guilt, to be the person they blame when this city is turned to ashes.”  


“Why can’t it be both? I don’t want to be the person they blame because it’s not what I intended when I did what I did. I thought I was doing the right thing by letting you go.” I crossed my arms over my chest, staring at him, willing him to understand me, to realize that what he was doing was wrong, that what he was doing was hurting me. I knew I shouldn’t expect him to care, but there was a piece of me that believed he had to, at least a little. We hadn’t gone through all we had to lose the trust and companionship that we had built up.  


“Now you’ve turned into the person I thought you were when we first met, and people are going to die because I trusted you.” I whispered, feeling tears well up again. I tried to blink them away, causing them to instead run down my cheeks. It was beginning to become very frustrating that I cried whenever I got into an argument with him.  


“You need to end this.”  


He gazed back at me, those damning green eyes still looking strangely bluish and unreadable, “Did you consider what happens to me if I lose?” A flicker of something crossed his face for a brief moment. A stab of pain pierced my heart. What did he mean?  


The sound of heavy footsteps in the hallway outside were somehow heard over the sounds of battle on the floors above, catching my attention. God forbid it was Hulk. I looked towards the door for a second and when I looked back, Loki was gone. Thor came barreling in a second later.  


“Where is he?” He asked, scanning the room for his estranged brother.  


“He was just right here.”  


I spun in a circle in order to get a better look around, but he was still nowhere to be seen. He had to be in the room. There was no way he would have been able to make it out of the one and only exit without us noticing. He had to be hiding using some illusionary magic. If only… I snapped my fingers, that was it. I allowed the armor to cover my face once more, and once again I could see the energy within living things. As soon as I turned to look into the cage, I saw him.  


“Thor, he’s--” I lifted my finger to point when all of a sudden my vision was flooded with the orange-red light and I was thrown back. I skidded across the metal grating that made up the floor until I hit one of the railings that lined the walkway out of the room. What in the hell? My vision was still obscured and so I was forced to let the armor down. Thor was trapped in the glass cage and Loki stood halfway between us.  


“Loki, stop--” He pointed the scepter at me, “Do not interfere, Nellie.”  


“Don’t tell me what to do!” I retorted, somewhat mockingly, as I launched a shot of energy at him. It landed just short of his boots, not hitting him but packing enough of a punch that it threw him back several feet. I wasn’t here to hurt him; to be honest, I didn’t even know if I was truly capable. I just needed to stop him.  


“Loki!” Thor hit the glass with Mjolnir angrily and the cage slipped down a few inches. “Don’t do that,” I pointed my finger at him sternly, “it’ll drop you from the carrier and you won’t be able to get out until it hits the ground and shatters.”  


I knew that he _could_ survive from the movie, but it was best not to take the risk. I jumped to my feet and started towards the control board, intending to set Thor free. Loki reached it first, however, “One more step, and I’ll send him to the ground below.”  


“That’s not really much of a threat when we both know he gets out before it hits, is it?” It was. I didn’t want to bargain Thor’s life on the chance things didn’t go differently from the movie. I slowed to a hesitant stop.  


“You just said that I would not be able to escape.” Thor said, confused as he pressed his large hand against the glass. Both of us turned to him at the same exact time.  


“Quiet fool.”  


“Shush, Thor, would you please?”  


He clamped his mouth shut, although on whose orders I wasn’t sure. Loki and I turned back to each other.  


“Enough of this, please, just end this before things go too far.” I took a small step forward, holding up my hand in a gesture of goodwill. He watched me.  


“This cannot end until I’ve succeeded.”  


“Why? Because you have some insane desire to prove yourself? To show everyone that you’re worthy?” I took another step forward. The ship shuddered as it descended further. I wondered momentarily if Tony and Steve were going to be able to get it working again, or else we were all going to go down. “All this does is show them that you are the monster you fear yourself to be. They will _hate_ you. They will never stop fighting to depose you if you win. There will never be peace. You will _never_ truly have what you want.”  


His face twisted, “You do not understand.”  


“Then explain it to me.” At this point I was exasperated. This had gone on too long. What wasn’t he telling me? He seemed conflicted. My resolve melted a smidge.  


“Please,” Another tentative step forward, “I don’t want to see you get hurt either.”  


“It’s too late.” He replied, his voice soft, and in one swift motion, he hit the button. The chute beneath the cell opened, wind howling through the room. The brackets holding the cell in place disconnected and I watched as it dropped, with Thor inside.  


“No!” I screamed, my hair whipping around my face. Maybe I could shoot a blast of energy and break the glass before he fell too far. However, Loki came up behind me and grabbed my arm firmly before I could do anything. He pulled me towards a side door next to the control panel that I had failed to see before. Around it the glowing orange symbols of a portal sparked like mad. The portal opened before me, the deep darkness at its center made the room seem dimmer. Our eyes locked for but a moment, and my body went still in shock and realization. This close I could finally pinpoint what had been bothering me before. His eyes… they were the same odd blue of the goons in the stairwell. The same blue as the mind stone.  


He was under its influence.  


His grip tightened and then he let go, pushing me backwards through the portal. I gasped, reaching out, trying to grab anything to keep myself from going. My fingers grazed the edge of his shirt sleeve and then I was falling through darkness.  


I slammed into a tile floor, luckily unharmed due to my armor; it had even covered my head, protecting me from injury when I unfortunately dashed it against the ground. Above me the portal disappeared, sparks fading as they drifted to the ground around me. The armor retreated from my face once more and I pushed myself up on my elbows, looking around. I was in the living room of the apartment Brittani and I shared, sitting in the middle of the floor. Dusk filled the room with pale blue light and christmas lights twinkled where they were draped across the sliding glass door.  


“Holy shit, Nellie?” I glanced up at the couch and saw one of Brittani and I’s friends, Marlo, sitting with a glass in her hand. Liquid dripped down the side and across her hand from where it had sloshed over the rim of the glass. Brittani came running down the stairs and stopped in the entryway, “Nellie? How are you back?”  


“Okay, what the hell is going on here? She just fell in from the ceiling!” Marlo pointed up to where the portal had been moments before. I quickly scrambled to my feet, still in a daze from the quick change of scenery. My heart was pounding and my feet were unsteady. I felt like any moment the floor would move and I had the dropping sensation in my stomach as though I was still on the helicarrier. Although that might have been from the portal. I swallowed the nausea that threatened to overwhelm me. “Loki fucking sent me back. The helicarrier is falling. I have---” I staggered forward, “I have to go help them.”  


“Loki?” Marlo asked, her voice brimming with disbelief and confusion. She was as avid a fan as I was of Marvel, although her fondness for Bucky and Steve outweighed her fondness for Loki.  


“No time to explain right now. Brittani can fill you in later.” I said and then turned my attention to the sky, “Heimdall. I know you’re watching. Can you and Frigga help me out? Please? I think I know what I need to do.”  


Seconds passed and fear began to burrow its way into my mind. What if they had given up on me? What if they no longer believed me capable of doing what they sent me to do? What if--- A portal opened up beneath my feet, a yelp of surprise escaping my lips as I was sucked down into it. My vision went black once more but I was spared the sick feeling in my stomach. I landed back in the control room of the helicarrier, falling to my knees. The battle seemed nearly finished, with dead SHIELD agents and Loki’s men alike lying about. It seemed Tony and Steve had been successful, as the helicarrier was flying and steady once again. Fury and Maria Hill, hovering near the command module, discussing something as they looked over the screens, turned their attention to me.  


I stood slowly, tired of being thrown about and eternally grateful for the ring. Fury pointed a finger at me, “You have got a lot of explaining to do, young lady.”  
Great.

* * *

“I don’t know what to tell you.” I replied, looking down at my hands uncomfortably as several pairs of eyes made me the target of their stare. I was sat at the oblong table set near the back of the bridge, just underneath the windows of the wishbone lab. Tony was sitting to my left, twirling that damned pen around his fingers, his legs crossed and his demeanor judgmental. I thought that perhaps he was just glad not to be the one under scrutiny for once. Steve sat to my right, muscled arms crossed over his chest, looking like the disappointed father of a rebellious teen. Ruth, the only one who wasn’t looking at me, sat next to him, absentmindedly cleaning her handguns. Although, she was very obviously listening. Fury stood at the other end of the table. Maria was off handling the necessary tasks in order to clean up the mess that the battle had created. Natasha, I assumed, was helping Clint, who luckily had been knocked out from under the influence of the mind stone. Thor, who had survived the fall, was on his way back, but had yet to arrive. Fury had called a meeting immediately. He didn’t want Thor to come back before he had the chance to interrogate me. He suspected that Thor had been lying about me. He was right. He pulled up what looked like a video of the containment room on a nearby screen and turned to stare directly at me, arms crossed over his chest, as it played back footage. It covered the entirety of when I first arrived in the room until I was forcibly pushed through the portal. Coulson walked into frame a second later, a large weapon in hand, but Fury stopped the video before it got any further. My heart dropped. There was very little doubt in my mind that Phil Coulson had died not moments later. If he did truly die in this reality? I wasn't sure, but my guilty conscience screamed that he did.  


“Now, I’m not going to show the rest of the video because I feel it would be disrespectful to Phil Coulson’s memory.” The whole group became utterly still and somber at those words. “But I have several questions I want answered, right now: Why is it that Thor was dropped from this ship and left to die? Why is it that one of my best agents, someone who believed in this godforsaken team, was murdered as soon as he walked into that room? And how is it that you just got sent here, unharmed? I would listen in to the nice little chat you two have at the beginning but somehow the audio on this high-tech, government security equipment was corrupted despite several safeholds put in place to prevent that.”  


Damn Loki for corrupting the files. Why could he have used magic to create some fake audio in order to cover up our conversation? It looked so much more suspicious this way. Although I was glad he had kept his word. I bounced my knee, unable to stay still as I debated my situation. What should I do? I couldn’t say that I didn’t know. It was obvious something had been going on. They wouldn’t believe an answer like that. Should I tell the truth? I imagined the consequences couldn’t be much worse telling the truth than trying and failing to lie to them again. God, I wished Thor was here to help me.  


“Spit it out kid.” Tony said. I shot him a look that could shatter glass and sighed, “He didn’t send me back here. He sent me home.”  


“Back to your reality? Or is that a lie too?” Tony asked. Steve turned slightly in his chair to better face me. Nearby, a lower agent swept glass up from the floor. Fury shooed them away with a glare.  


While I was embarrassed and nervous and worried and about to die under the stress, Tony Stark never failed to kindle a little fire of anger in me, “Let’s get something straight, everything Thor and I told you about where I came from and why I came here is true. I am from another reality and I was sent here because Frigga and Heimdall believed me capable of helping you all.” I peered up at them, “It is the honest to God truth that I chose to come here to stop Loki.”  


There was a moment of silence where they all seemed to accept my statement. Hopefully as the truth.  


“I still want to know why he didn’t even try to kill you on sight.” Fury stayed firm.  


Steve glanced at him and Fury, “I think a better question to ask is if Loki can create portals, why he didn’t try to escape earlier?”  


“I think the answer is pretty obvious Stevie, he wanted to fuck with us so that we couldn’t kick his ass later when the real battle begins.” Ruth set down her gun and turned her full attention to the conversation at hand, “Can I just say how fucking insane it is that you all casually apprehend gods and aliens in your free time? Like I can’t even work the coffee machine.”  


Tony gave her a look that could only be described as one that could break the fourth wall in its level of incredulity.  


“Ruth is probably right. About wanting to mess with you guys, I mean. That was his motive in the movie: try to break the team up so that you all couldn’t successfully defeat him.” I admitted.  


“I’m sorry, movie? What movie?” Tony asked.  


Here we go. I took a deep breath.  


“In my reality, there are movies that entail most of the events that happen with you all and Loki, for the most part; I’ve come to notice a few differences since I’ve been here. But not too long ago, I was just a fan of the movies. Went and saw all of them, bought merchandise, wrote stories...” I mumbled the last one.  


Tony immediately opened his mouth to start asking questions, but Fury cut him off with a look and a deadpan statement, “That doesn’t answer my question.”  


“Right.” I said, “I don’t know how much Thor has told you about Loki, and what he did prior to coming to Earth and trying to take over, but some time ago he tried to take over Asgard as well. There was a movie about it. He failed. And his punishment was banishment, to my reality, under a spell that bound him to me and compelled him to follow my every command. The banishment of which was not included in the movie, for your information.

“We lived like that for a couple of months. It was difficult a lot of the time, but not always. Eventually he figured out a way to travel back here, the portals, but he needed my permission to be able to leave. I told him no. No matter how many times he asked, not matter how many different bargains he tried to strike, I refused, because I didn’t want to be responsible for the trouble he caused you if he found his way back here.”  


Thor arrived, slowly walking around the corner. When he realized what was happening, he moved to intervene, but I cut him off with a glance. He hesitated, and then leaned against the wall a few feet away. His face was filled with concern, but he kept quiet.  


I ran a hand over my face, “But then we were attacked. A woman, someone I’ve never seen before, not in real life, and not in the movies. She destroyed the building I lived in, put dozens of people’s lives in danger. She was dead set on doing anything it took to kill him. She nearly succeeded.”  


“But you stopped her.” Steve said, his mouth set in a grim line.  


I gave a weak smile, flashing the ring, “It was before this. I didn’t have any ability to stop her. She was way too powerful. But Heimdall did give me instructions on how to create one of the portals, and I followed them.”  


“You let him escape.”  


I nodded slightly, feeling cold and embarrassed.  


“Why in the hell would you do that if you knew that he would come here?” Tony asked, leaning forward, his hands pressed against the edge of the table.  


“I… because he was, is, my friend?” I looked up at them, “I couldn’t just watch him die. Not when it was partially my fault for him being there, vulnerable, in the first place. Not when he saved my life without a second thought when the woman attacked and I was nearly crushed. You have to understand, after everything, I didn’t have much of a reason to believe that he would end up doing this. He was genuinely disturbed by the idea that he would do what the movies depicted. And,” I paused, knowing that my next statement would undoubtedly be met with skepticism and disbelief, “I still think don’t think he wants to be doing this, at least, he’s not doing this of his own free will.  


“As for why he didn’t kill me. I suppose maybe it’s repayment for helping him escape the woman? I don’t know for sure. It’s possible he did it just to piss me off. He knows how badly I wanted to be a part of this team and that I feel like it’s my responsibility to fix this.” I shrugged weakly.  


"God, this boy-band blasphemy becomes a legitimate team?" Ruth asked, none-too-rudely. "But still holy shit, we're just a movie for you guys? Like just fictional characters? What does say about our movies here? Are those other realities, too?" Her face said this was way beyond anything she’d ever contemplated before.  


That wasn’t the response I had been anticipating, but I rolled with it, just glad that it wasn’t critical of me in any way, “Yeah, most of you are fictional characters in my reality. And when we discovered the similarities between what happened and the movies, we definitely considered the possibility of other stories being actual events in other realities. Although, I’m sorry to say Ruth, you weren’t in the movies. Meeting you definitely threw me a loop.” I didn’t mention the fact that Loki and I had accidentally travelled to the reality where our whole situation was written as a story.  


"Say what?" Ruth asked.  


“We?” Fury asked, his voice tinged with, well, fury, “Who do you mean by we? You didn’t show the goddamned bad guy the movie where he loses, did you?”  


“No,” I replied firmly, “Not for a moment do I want you to think I showed him those movies, because I didn’t. The only thing I shared with him was a very, very brief plot explanation. I did not tell him how he’s defeated or anything.” I couldn’t hide the fluctuation in my voice at the end.  


Tony caught it instantly.  


“I feel like there’s a ‘but’ somewhere in that statement you’re not including.”  


I hesitated, covering my face with my hands, “... I think he may have watched the movies without my knowledge though.”  


"Nellie, I like you, but it is becoming increasingly hard to trust you." Ruth said. "Who is to say you're not working with/for Loki? And gathering information for him? And if you ask me to trust Thor, I met this blond only 10 hours ago."  


I nodded slowly, “I understand. That’s why I didn’t tell you guys any of this. I knew it would raise suspicions. I see now that hiding it didn’t do much better, but,” I glanced at Thor, “Heimdall said it was best to keep it a secret. He said it would only make things worse if you all knew.” After a brief pause, I added, “I don’t know how to convince you guys that I’m not working with him.”  


Fury pressed his hands flat against the tabletop as he leaned in, “We’ll take a leap of faith with you, solely because we don’t have time to deal with this bullshit, and we need all the help we can get. That’s why Stark’s here as well. But if you cross us, I don’t give a rat’s ass if you’re not from here, you will have to answer to me. And they’re aren’t any laws protecting citizens of other realities.” He gave me a look that would make hell freeze over, and I felt the ring pulse as it tried to extend the armor. After a long, drawn out second, he stood straight and drew something out of the inner pocket of his jacket. He stared at all of us before tossing them onto the table.  


The slap of the blood-soaked cards on the wooden surface was the loudest sound in the room.  


“Coulson died believing in this team. Don’t let him down.”  


Upon recognizing the cards, Steve looked stricken. It was more … than just seeing his reaction in the movies. My chest felt constricted under the guilt and remorse brought about by the sight. Thor finally came forward and gently rested a comforting hand on my narrow shoulder silently. I closed my eyes, grateful that even if the rest of them didn’t trust me, he supported me. The stakes were higher than ever before. I had to stop Loki. Luckily, I thought I might have an idea on how.


	15. Chapter 15

Now that the rest of the team was aware of my knowledge, and due to the time sensitive nature of trying to save the world, I decided it best to share all that I knew from the movies. Besides, it was the best way to show them that I was on their side.

“Son of a bitch is going to ruin the tower I worked so hard on.” 

“Don’t you mean the tower Pepper worked so hard on?” I quipped without thinking, leaning up against the side of the quinjet.

“I don’t like this,” Tony said, walking towards me, drawing circles in the air with his pointer finger, “You knowing everything about us? It’s creepy.”

“But not me though?” Ruth said, looking pointedly at me like she was contemplating all the advantages my lack of knowledge about her provided.

I smiled and shook my head, “No, not you.”

Tony adjusted a piece of his armor, “So what are the movies like? Are they popular or are you a part of some niche fandom that everyone makes fun of? Because I can’t imagine a movie with me in it not doing well.” 

I watched the team get ready. Ruth pulled her long dark hair into a ponytail. Clint adjusted the strap of his quiver. Thor sat silently contemplating it all. Steve laced up his boots. It was insane that this was happening. Insane that I was apart of it. 

“Oh, I wish I could say that they’re not just to spite you, but they are.” 

Tony smiled smugly.

“Steve’s pretty much the overall fan favorite though.”

Steve looked up from his seat next to Ruth with a surprised, but pleased, look on his face. Tony scoffed and hit the button that opened the back of the jet hard with his fist, “You said yourself that the movies are somewhat different.” He put on his mask, shrugged like he had just casually proved me wrong somehow, and jumped backwards out into the open air below.

“And I thought Steve was a drama queen.” Ruth rolled her eyes and stood. 

“We’re nearly there.” Natasha said from the cockpit.

Steve stood as well, pulling his shield from the ground beside him, “You have your earpiece?”

I tapped the small, clear device that was tucked away in my ear, “Yup. You remember the plan?”

“Send Bruce your way when you give the signal. Are you sure he’s going to show up?”

“God, I sure hope so,” I took a deep breath, “If he doesn’t… Thor,” He glanced up from where he was sitting, turning his hammer over and over in his hands, “you think you can do it?”

He bowed his head, “Of course.”

“I don’t see why you don’t do it yourself. I would if given the opportunity.” Clint commented, snapping the string of his bow threateningly. He wasn’t pleased with the plan; didn’t believe that Loki was in any way a victim. I tried to understand where he was coming from and the difficulties he had faced that made him so cynical. I lowered my head slightly, twisting the ring on my finger, “It wouldn’t work if I did.”

* * *

Unfortunately, we weren’t able to reach the city before Loki unleashed his army. 

The idea was to have the quinjet drop me off on the top floor of Stark Tower. While the rest of them went to fight the Chitauri and keep them from spreading to the rest of the city, I would put my plan into action. It didn’t work out that way.

Thor exited the jet soon after Tony, using Mjolnir to draw lightning down from the heavens above and strike a Chitauri flyer who had been getting a little too close for comfort to the quinjet. Natasha steered away from the lightning in a steep dive that nearly threw me to the floor. We flew down between the city buildings in order to drop off Steve, Ruth, and Clint on the street where they could round up civilians, getting them to safety and setting up their perimeter. 

“Good luck!” Ruth yelled over the sounds of destruction as she jumped down after the other two. The jet rattled as we took off towards the tower. I walked up behind the cockpit so I could get a better look at the devastation through the front windshield. It didn’t feel much more real than watching it on television when we were above it all. The sounds were muffled and, with the exception of slight rocking when we came too close to an explosion, we were unaffected by what was going on around us. I could almost make myself believe that it was simply a simulation, like I was wearing one of those virtual reality headsets. Natasha glanced back at me, “We’re nearly there.”

Just as the tower came into view, Tony appeared, flying slightly in front and off to the side of us. His voice came through on both the earpiece and the quinjet’s comm systems, “Haven’t seen Reindeer Games anywhere. Seems he’s keeping a low profile.”

I leaned forward slightly, “He should be around here somewhere. He won’t stray far from the Tesseract.”

“Should you fail, the staff is the only thing that can close the portal, correct?” Natasha asked.

I nodded, “If Erik Selvig still had the foresight to include it as a safeguard. There’s a chance that Loki prevented it.”

“What do we do then?”

“I don’t know,” I clenched the hand where the ring resided tightly, “let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

“Speak of the devil.” Tony muttered as Loki appeared from the other side of the tower, riding on one of the Chitauri flyers. I watched as Tony propelled forward in his suit, zooming ahead of us.

“Tony do not engage!” Natasha commanded, tightening her grip on the steering handle.

Loki used his scepter to shoot several blasts of energy at Tony, all of which Tony was able to dodge. Tony retaliated with several shots of his own.

“Tony!” I yelled.

“He shot at me first!”

Another blast from the scepter caught Tony in the foot and damaged the propulsion device that allowed him to fly. He lost control; spinning backwards and straight at us.

Natasha muttered something under her breath that did not sound like english and yanked up on the handle. The quinjet jerked upwards, but not fast enough. Tony hit the left wing, taking out the engine and sending us into a similar spinning descent. Natasha tried to regain control over the vehicle but we were going down hard, and there was no stopping it. 

“Get down!” She yelled and I crouched, clutching to the seat in front of me tightly and feeling my armor come up to shield me.

We crashed into the building across the street from the tower, shattering the large, floor to ceiling windows into thousands of pieces. The integrity of the quinjet remained mostly unchanged, and, luckily, the building had long been evacuated of any occupants. I lifted my head. Dust and debris floated in the air around me, but did nothing to block the red-orange light I could see peeking out from behind the seat I was crouching behind. I stood slowly, knocking stray electrical wires out of my way, “Natasha, are you okay?”

She groaned and opened her eyes. Blood dripped down from her nose, but she looked otherwise unharmed. “I’m fine.” She unhooked herself from the seat and slipped out, pulling her gun from the holster strapped to her thigh. “I’m going to kill Stark when I see him.”

“Not if I get to him first.” I peered around the jet, taking in the damage, “It’s not salvageable is it?”

She gave the interior a cursory glance, “No.”

We carefully made our way through the wreckage and into the lobby of the building we had crashed into. The ruins of lounge chairs and a front desk were strewn about amongst the broken glass. One chair was completely in flames, black smoke billowing from it and filling the room with a thick haze. Amazingly, one window remained unscathed, and, for the first time, I saw myself in the armor. The black scales covered every inch of my body and reflected the light from the fire dully. It was like a second skin, accentuating what curves I had and nicely defining my cheekbones. It was rather becoming, in some ways. However, it smoothed over my ears, mouth, and my red hair; making it look as though I had none. I wondered how I could hear, or how anyone else could hear me speak. The unnerving part wasn’t the lack of features though, it was the way it covered my eyes. They were obviously still there, but instead colored a flat black that absorbed all light. The fire was not reflected in them at all. I looked like a demon who had just crawled up from the depths of hell, especially with the heat and smoke from the fire distorting the air around me. All I needed was a pair of horns and maybe some bat-like wings. I turned away from my reflection and followed Natasha into the street.

Natasha and I were immediately ambushed by a couple of Chitauri who had seen the quinjet crash and had come to investigate. I took a blast from one of their guns straight to the abdomen, but was barely fazed. I adjusted my stance and launched a similar sized blast back at it, cracking the metal chest plate it wore and throwing it backwards about ten feet. Natasha ducked under the assault of her assailant and retaliated with several shots aimed its underarm, a weak spot due to the lack of protection there. The Chitauri dropped its gun and she caught it effortlessly, firing once more and killing it instantly. It was damn impressive to see her in action.

“Nat, you alright? I saw the quinjet go down.” Steve said over the radio. Natasha glanced at me before responding, “We’re fine. Didn’t have time to drop Nellie at the tower though. We’re grounded. Any bright ideas?”

There was a minute of silence, and then his voice came through again, sounding strained and tired, “No, unfortunately not.”

Natasha started jogging towards the tower and I followed warily, keeping my eyes out for more trouble. We barely made it half a block until we encountered more, and the fight began again. 

Time passed. I wasn’t sure how much. Probably not more than several minutes, but it felt like an eternity. Chitauri never stopped coming. It was so much more when you were in amongst it all. I came to the conclusion that the worst part was the noise. Screams, gunshots, explosions, glass shattering; every sound drew my attention. I felt as though I was spinning in circles trying to react to it all, trying to protect myself. The fight on the helicarrier had in no way prepared me for the horrors of full out war. 

I just barely managed to duck under the swing of a Chitauri spear, “Stark, do you have eyes on Loki?” Luckily, Stark seemed to have managed to fix his suit and was now able to fly in a straight line. I kicked the soldier in front of me hard in the chest, sending it into a nearby wall. I had discovered that with the right touch, the energy the armor emitted could be used as a little extra “oomph” of sorts in anything I did, giving me super strength, in a way. So far I had managed to snap one of the Chitauri blasters in half and push a car out of the way. Despite my fear and tiredness, I felt a thrill of excitement flow through me when I thought about what else I could do.

“He was still in the air, last I saw him.”

“Damn it.”

I saw Ruth appear at the end of the street, maneuvering her way around debris and abandoned vehicles as she shot at the flyers overhead. I got Natasha’s attention and we both headed in Ruth’s direction.

About halfway there, several Chitauri intercepted us, the largest group we had faced yet. Natasha was immediately firing rounds, maneuvering slyly between them when she had to. I'm sure it was fascinating to watch us fight side by side, her with fluid grace of years of training and me with brute force, very little attention directed towards avoiding blows. I faced off with two in front of me. Interestingly enough, they seemed to have learned that shooting at me wasn’t the best decision, and took the spear route, both swinging at me at the same time. I dodged the first, the second shattering into a bright array of pieces as it hit my arm. The light blinded me for a moment and a third, unseen, assailant used the opportunity to grab me from behind and slam me into the hood of a nearby car. It didn’t hurt, but the surprise I felt was enough to give them the upper hand for a moment as I forgot what I was capable of and lashed out in fear, trying to get out from under their clawed hands. Natasha dispatched of the first two and by then, I had gathered my wits enough to blast the third, putting so much force into my attack that the amount of energy released partially disintegrated the soldier. I slipped off the dented car and watched its twitching corpse in shock. Natasha joined me for a moment, “That armor packs quite the punch. You alright?”

I nodded, still in a daze. Things were slowly changing from exciting to downright terrifying as I realized I wasn't prepared for all of this, ring or not.

“Let’s go.” She said and took off. I followed after a moment.

We reached Ruth just as she destroyed her last opponent, a Chitauri who had jumped down from a flyer to confront her, with six shots to the chest. Steve came jogging up from around the corner to join us, looking tired and dirty, “We can’t hold this perimeter much longer.”

“I know.” I pursed my lips and took stock of the situation. The battle had been raging for too long. Bruce had yet to show up, and I was beginning to get nervous. I knew it was only a matter of time before the U.S. government took matters into their own hands, and launched a nuke at the city. I didn’t want it to come to that. Not only because I didn’t want us to risk failing to stop it, but also because after that, the fight was over, and I wouldn’t have be able to give Loki the second chance I thought he deserved.

“Nellie, you need to tell your boyfriend to _chill_.” Ruth said, pushing back strands of sweaty hair that had escaped her ponytail, “See what I did there? I used a modern word!” She grinned triumphantly. Her enthusiasm was, incredibly, unaffected by the battle raging around her.

“Uh— he’s not— I never said—“ I stuttered.

“I think,” she continued, ignoring my protests, “you should go up to the tower. If he’s so into you,” I put a hand over my face at that, “then he’ll follow! And you guys can have your little chat or whatever. Otherwise we’re going to kibosh the hell out of your boy.”

I stared at her whilst she just smiled back at me, “Alright, alright, you may have a point.” I glanced back at the tower, tracing my eyes up it until I reached the pillar of blue that was being emitted from the Tesseract.

“See? There ya go!”

I sighed, “How do I get up there? I doubt I can just walk in and take the elevator.” Not that I would take the elevator anyway, I had a slightly irrational fear of them.

“Stark could give you a lift.” Steve suggested. 

“I don’t know if I’d have that much faith in his flying abilities.” Natasha said under breath.

The last thing I wanted to do was ask Tony for a favor, especially since he was the reason I wasn’t already up there in the first place, but I’d stalled too long fighting on the ground. It was time to do what I came here to do in the first place.

“Tony, can you get me up to the tower?”

He responded a short moment later, “Magic word?”

“Please?”

“Mmm no, but I guess I can help you out.”

Thor landed a few feet behind us, streams of electricity running up his arms, “The shield around the Tesseract is impenetrable.”

“I told you, you’re best bet is the scepter.” I said, trying not to sound like I was nagging and only barely succeeding.

Barton came jogging towards us from within the building across the street, nocking another arrow as he ran and taking out an approaching Chitauri without so much as a glance. He slowed as he reached us, “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m struggling.”

A stab of guilt ripped its way through me. I shouldn’t have spent so much time on the ground. It was drawing this out longer than it had to be. I impatiently searched the skies for Stark.

“So, this all seems horrible.” A familiar voice said, making us all turn. Banner stood in front of us, barefoot and looking a little worse for wear, but otherwise fine. No one could hide how genuinely pleased they were to see him.

“I’ve seen worse.” Natasha replied.

Bruce looked guilty, “Sorry.”

“No, we could use a little worse.”

“Hey guys, I’m bringing a little gift to the party.” Tony said, and I felt my blood go cold. That wasn’t the exact line from the movie, but it could only mean… Tony flew around the skyscraper at the end of the block and behind him flew one of the leviathans.

“I hope he kept the receipt.” Natasha muttered, keeping her composure as she stared down the enormous beast. 

"Steven, this is your fault. I did not ask to be in the middle of this alien battle. You so owe me." Ruth hissed at Steve, re-loading her guns and glancing nervously up at the creature that was headed straight towards us. I looked at Bruce and he looked back at me, “This is where I come in, isn’t it?”

I nodded sheepishly. He made a face like he had figured as much, and began walking towards the leviathan, his skin quickly changing shades as he grew into the Hulk. We all took a few steps back as he slammed the leviathan’s head into the ground, throwing up concrete as he slowed it to a stop. Its tail end came up over its head and rushed down upon us. Tony shot a missile at it and destroyed it before it could squish us. Steve shielded Natasha and Ruth from the blast, Clint took cover behind a piece of broken wall, and Thor and I stayed where we were as we took the full force of the blast. My armor glowed briefly as it absorbed the energy that would have otherwise knocked me out of the game.

Tony landed next to me, “Ready?”

“Let’s go.”

 

Flying with Tony was awful. The wind was strong and my hands quickly clammed up, making me feel like I could lose my grip on his armor at any given moment. Although, my own armor covered my sweaty palms and made losing my grip impossible . I tightened my fingers regardless and felt the metal give under my fingertips a little.

“Hey, don’t dent the suit.” Tony chided, bringing us down on the platform that jutted out from the tower. “This good?”

I looked around. The view from that high up was both terrifying and amazing at the same time. I could see far into the city, the sun glinting off of the windows, but I could also see all of the destruction. Behind me was the penthouse, empty for now. On the platform slightly below me was the Tesseract and Erik Selvig, who was lying on the ground.

“Hopefully.” I replied, not feeling hopeful at all. He nodded and took to the air, “Good luck kid, and, make it quick, could you?” He was gone before I could even begin to formulate a response. I squinted as I watched him disappear back into the fight, the sunlight proving to be a pain. Okay, here I was. Time to see if my plan would work. I took a deep breath and casually walked along the edge of the platform, keeping a good distance between myself and the long drop below, but remaining in full view of anyone in the vicinity.

“Come on… come on…” I muttered under my breath, searching the skies below. Maybe it would be better if I was without the armor. Although it made me more vulnerable to attack, it also made me look less threatening, which was what I wanted. I allowed it to retreat back into the ring. I was left wearing only my jeans and a tank top. The wind from this high up immediately chilled my skin, raising goosebumps despite it being the height of summer. My hair was whipped every which way and after a moment of annoyance and trying to keep it out of my face, I yanked it up into a sloppy ponytail.

“Where are you?” I whispered. There was no time for this. It could be only a matter of minutes, seconds, until the nuke was deployed. “Where are you, you fucking idiot?”

As soon as the words left my lips, he appeared, racing past the tower on one of the flyers, his stupid horned helmet reflecting the bright sun. I saw him look up, and couldn’t help but smile a little when he suddenly changed course and headed straight towards me. The smile was quickly wiped away, however, by the realization that I had to actually talk to him now and try to convince him to end this. 

Despite my failings in our previous conversations, I had faith that I could break through to him this time. Enough bringing up what he had said before, enough yelling at him for the trust he had broken. It was time to play a different angle, one that could very easily get me killed if it went wrong. I was scared, but I was out of options. I didn't want to fail those who had given me the opportunity to be here.

Loki arrived, stepping off of the flyer with unrivaled grace. I tried to resist the urge to take a few steps back, and still unwillingly took one step towards the penthouse. His helmet disappeared, and he donned a slightly exasperated look, “I should have known they would only send you back.”

I shrugged, remaining as nonchalant as possible, “I asked them to.”

“You shouldn’t have. This is not a place for you.” He frowned.

Still so set on me not being here. I wasn't quite sure if it was because I posed the biggest threat or what. Though I supposed if that was the case he could have just as easily killed me rather than getting snappy and sending me home. But, I supposed the armor would make that difficult. “That’s not for you to decide.” 

He paused, licking his lips and glancing about at the damage his army had wrought. He brought both arms up, gesturing to the city, “Well, it is too late for any more pleading. The invasion has already begun. There is no turning back.”

“I’m not here to plead.” 

He let his arms fall, and then pointed his scepter at me half-heartedly, cocking his head, “To fight then?” He smiled, but it was weak, forced, “You don’t quite look prepared for that.” 

I shook my head slowly, twisting the ring around my finger, “No, not that either.” He looked down at my hands, obviously confused by my words and actions. My heart was beating fast and I felt like I was trying to move through jello, like my muscles were protesting my every movement. The primal need for self-preservation trying to stop me from doing the very stupid thing that was on my mind. I pressed my lips together tightly and, in a quick burst of determination, pulled the ring off. I let out the breath I had been holding and glanced up through stray curls of hair at him. He was staring at me like I had gone completely insane, his mouth slightly parted, a crease between his eyes. Maybe I had gone insane. But if I hadn’t yet, my next action would certainly be the final nail in the coffin. I held the ring in the palm of my hand for but a moment before curling my fingers over it and, without breaking eye contact with Loki, tossing it off of the side of the building.

“Have you lost your mind?” He asked, incredulous but sounding more like his old self. “That was the most idiotic thing I have ever witnessed, and I grew up alongside Thor.”

“I assume then that you aren’t taking your own actions into consideration.” I replied, each word quieter than the one preceding it. Now wasn’t the time for snarky remarks, I told myself.

Tony, who must have been flying nearby, came through over the radio, “Nellie, did you just… throw your ring over the side of my tower?”

“What in the hell did you do that for?!” Ruth shouted without waiting for confirmation that I had, in fact, done as Stark said. 

I ignored them, pulling the earpiece out of my ear and tossing it to the ground, crushing it beneath the heel of my shoe and cutting off any chance of communication with the rest of the team. I had told them the plan was to have Hulk beat the influence of the mind stone out of Loki. And that was the plan, if the one I attempting now failed.

My thoughts were this: whether or not it was actually true, Loki believed everyone in his life was always trying to contradict him, trying to stop him from doing things they saw as harmful to others. They weren't always wrong. I acknowledged that. And when they couldn't get through to him with reasoning, they let him goad them into a physical fight that only fueled his idea that no one cared about him. Using the ring now to battle him would only be making the same mistakes as those in the past. So I had to get rid of it completely, so that he knew I could, physically, do nothing at all to stop him. Now, hopefully, my vulnerability and upcoming emotional pleas would get through to him.  
Oh, this was a terrible idea.

He was speechless, unable to do anything but stare at me. Progress. I reigned in all of my anger, fear, and betrayal, allowing only the softer emotions, the ones I had been suppressing for too long, to come through. I recalled the moments where he had made me smile, the moments when my heart had fluttered instead of dropping, the moments where the genuine side of him had shone through. I even brought forth the confusing feelings that plagued my dreams, the ones that made me wonder what I felt for him.

“Now you know,” I said, taking slow steps towards him. He lifted the scepter wearily, making me pause for just a moment as I tried to override all the alarms going off in my head, “that I am telling the truth when I say it isn’t about being a part of the Avengers, or having superpowers. I would-- I am-- giving that all up, because that is not what I am here for. I am here for you, because I want to help you.” I reached him and came to a stop. He stared down at me, his lips no longer parted and his jaw clenched tightly. The tip of the scepter hovered, trembling, centimeters from my chest. I couldn't deny the fear I felt, and prayed it didn't show in my face. Time passed, but the scepter never moved closer. He looked as though he was struggling, fighting some internal battle.The wind loosened a few strands of his hair, and they framed his face in dark waves. For one dizzying moment, I was again reminded of the meadow; the scent of the flowers, the warm breeze, the intimate conversation we had shared. I lost myself in the memory, closing my eyes briefly and letting myself believe that was where we were. I found his free hand and brought it to my cheek, mimicking the actions of that long ago conversation. 

It took me a few seconds to find the words I wanted to say, even though they'd been on repeat in my head for the last few hours, “I know it doesn’t have to be my responsibility to protect you, not even from yourself, but I want it to be.”

Nothing happened. Good. Time to do the thing that might actually get me killed. I opened my eyes and gazed up at him earnestly, “I knew the moment I saw you again that something was off, and it kills me that it took me so long to see it: your eyes are different. I don’t believe this is you." No matter how hard I fought to control them, my voice still quavered, "Somehow you came to be under the stone’s influence as well. It would be easier to fight you, easier still to let the others, but I don’t want to hurt you. Not when you aren’t in control of your actions. I won’t, and I won’t let them.”

As if I could actually stop any one member of the team if they decided to suddenly intervene.

His body was rigid, his face strained. His hand twitched beneath mine, and I pressed it against the side of my face harder than before. His other hand dropped the scepter. It clattered to the ground. Perfect. It seemed to be working, and if it wasn't, well, at least he couldn't immediately stab me.

It looked as though he was trying to fight off the mind control. Blackness began to form around the edges of the whites of his eyes, spreading inwards.

“Fight it. I know you can. You’re strong enough, Loki. You can break its hold.” I could hardly believe this was happening. My pleas were getting through to him.

His fingers curled in ever so slightly. I flinched as they dug into my skin, drawing blood, but stayed where I was. I pulled his hand from my cheek to my lips, bravely and impulsively pressing a delicate kiss to his palm. My heart was beating as fast as a hummingbird’s. I hoped I hadn’t crossed any lines by doing that, but also hoped that an affectionate action like such would be the push he needed. My risk paid off.

The blackness spread, covering the entirety of his eyes before dissipating and leaving behind only the all too familiar green that I had so dearly missed. I smiled, filled with relief and joy, as he focused his gaze on me. His lips parted slightly once more, and then his eyes rolled up into the back of his head, and his body went limp.

My knees painfully slammed into the concrete rooftop, my hands gripping the front of his leather armor tightly as I tried to keep his head from hitting the ground. He was much too heavy for me to actually keep him up, but I did the best I could. I managed to keep his upper body in my lap, uncomfortable though it was, and immediately grabbed his face, turning it one way, then the other. I held my hand in front of his mouth and felt him inhale and exhale. The panic in my chest lessened. He had just fainted from the effort of breaking out from under the mind control. I took a deep, shaky breath of relief. It had worked. It had really worked. 

Several feet away, two Chitauri soldiers landed on one of their flyers. They howled and pointed their blasters at us. Panic flooded my mind as I realized I was completely defenseless, and so was he. I quickly looked towards the scepter that way lying about three feet to my left and made to grab it. It was just out of my reach. Suddenly, Thor landed forcefully, obliterating the two threats. He looked at us, his blond hair whipping wildly in the wind. He seemed concerned and slightly weary. After a moment, he abandoned Mjolnir and came to drop to his knees next to me. I felt myself hold Loki tighter instinctively, as though protecting him from some danger. As if Thor were a threat. As if we hadn't just been in real danger. As if I hadn't just been completely unable to defend us. Embarrassed, I loosened my hold after a brief second.

“What has become of him?” Thor asked. There was something in his voice that told me if I was the reason that Loki was lying unconscious and had hurt him somehow, there would be consequences. I looked up at him, even through everything, he still loved Loki. I felt vulnerable and ridiculous clutching his brother as I was with him looking at me like that, “He was being controlled by the mind stone. He broke out from its spell, but the effort cost him. He dropped from exhaustion. I think.”

Thor stared down at Loki, a tortured look crossing his face, his eyes full of complex emotion. I felt like I was intruding on something, but couldn’t move. Not only because I was afraid of letting go of Loki, but also because my legs hurt like hell after being smashed into the ground and were pinned under his weight. Thor raised a hand as though to touch Loki’s face, but he drew back before making contact, quickly getting to his feet.  
I looked up at him as he gazed at the skyline. After a moment, he spoke, “Steve Rogers says that there is a missile inbound for the city and that the Chitauri have broken line. We must close the portal.”

I tipped my head in the direction of Loki’s abandoned scepter, “Try using the scepter.”

Thor picked it delicately off of the ground, as though it might bite him. He seemed afraid of what it was capable of; of what it had done to his brother. I didn’t blame him. He looked once more at Loki, and then at me. It may have been just the way the sun shone in his eyes, but they looked watery.

“Go.” I said softly, “I won’t let anything happen to him.”

He nodded solemnly in response and took off towards the platform below us, snatching up Mjolnir on his way. I looked to the sky. So, Fury hadn’t been able to convince the government to back down. If only I hadn’t crushed my earpiece. Perhaps if I had been able to tell them that Loki was no longer a threat, they might have not launched a nuke at the city. Although, the Chitauri still had to be dealt with and now that Loki was no longer in control of them, they were running rampant. There had been a distinct increase in the sounds of destruction from the city below.  
Despite not knowing whether or not Stark, or whoever it might be, would be successful at diverting the missile, I felt calm. Almost at peace. No matter what happened, I had done what I had come here to do. There was nothing left to do except wait; Wait and see if we survived the bomb; Wait and see if Loki woke up, and what he would say when he did; And wait and see if I was going to stay here or go home. If I was to be completely honest, home felt more like a dream, more like fiction, than what I had experienced here today.

A tiny red and gold spec in the sky above turned sharply and headed into the Tesseract’s portal. In my arms, Loki stirred, drawing my attention away from the portal. He opened his eyes just as the light from the silent explosion flashed brightly above us, casting his shadow upon the roof and my shadow upon him.

I smiled weakly, feeling tears burn as they tried to escape. It was a comfort to know that it was all over, that even if he wasn’t happy with me for things that I had said or done, that he was safe and okay. I blinked and the tears escaped, dripping down my face and onto his pale neck. I couldn’t control the wave of emotions that hit me.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I wiped at the tears on my face, smearing the blood from earlier, trying to prevent any more from landing on him. I knew he wasn’t a fan of me crying. He reached upwards and gently grabbed my wrist, stopping me. “Sorry.” I whispered weakly, for good measure. He leaned forwards, sitting up and surprisingly, pulling me into a tight embrace. I felt stiff and unsure. It was such a foreign gesture from him. 

“I’m sorry.” I heard him whisper so quietly that I almost believed I had imagined it. Maybe I had. His arms tightened further, one hand holding my head to his chest, the other placed firmly between my shoulder blades. I couldn't help but melt into him, letting go of the stress and worry that had been building up for days. It was the kind of embrace that comes only when you’re at your wits’ end and desperately cling to whatever you can hold on to. We were both exhausted and dirty and halfway to losing our minds. I felt him bury his face in my hair and I cried harder, my shoulders shaking, my arms curled up awkwardly between us. We stayed like that even when Thor returned, and left, and returned again, although he seemed to keep his distance. Quite frankly, I would have been okay if we had stayed like that for an eternity.


	16. Chapter 16

I paced back and forth as best I could on crutches, surely wearing down a path in the penthouse with every step. It was the day after the Battle of New York, and the city was quiet. Unnervingly quiet. Clean-up of the damage would begin tomorrow. Today was a day of mourning. The overcast sky added that much more to the dreary atmosphere.

I agonized over every little detail from the day before, thinking of what had gone right and of what had gone wrong. Pondering over how my actions would be perceived by SHIELD and by Fury. I had already been sat down in front of him and made to explain myself and give my account of what had happened. I had done my best to paint a picture of Loki as a victim to the manipulations of a much bigger, more concerning evil. I wasn’t sure how Loki would feel about being made out as a pitiful figure, even if it was to his benefit. I didn’t care. There was some skepticism, but given the fact that Loki had willing surrendered and had answered to their relentless questioning, albeit passive-aggressively, there was hope that they would reluctantly accept the story.

Now, all there was left to do was wait.

I had showered, eaten, slept, gotten a fresh change of clothes, and seen a medic for my horribly bruised and battered legs, hence the crutches. Luckily, nothing was broken, but the way I had landed on them had done me no favors. I should have been feeling better now that the battle was won, but I only felt more distressed than before.

“Would you stop? You’re making me nervous just watching you.” Ruth muttered from the lounge chair she sat on. White bandages were visible beneath her shirt, where her ribs were wrapped up from a slight fracture and a few stitches. A small smirk formed on her lips, “Heh, nervous Nellie.”  
I ignored her comment and kept at my pacing. 

“I’m sure your boy will be fine, stop worrying.”

I nearly tripped over my crutches turning to face her. I wasn’t very good with them. “Please don’t call him that. He’s not my boy, or my boyfriend, or any other word that alludes to a relationship that doesn’t exist.” I didn’t mean to get snappy, but I was worried. A lot was in the air right now, and I had some choices to make, all of it based on the outcome of a meeting I wasn’t allowed to be at. Plus, my feelings towards Loki were… complicated. I didn’t want any ideas thrown about before I had really come to terms with how I felt, and I especially didn’t want him to hear any of them.

That didn't mean I had the right to snap at her though, "Sorry."

Ruth sighed, put up her hands in mock surrender. “I’m sorry. I know you’re worried.” She sat up from her seat, propping her elbows on her knees and smiling at me conspiratorially, “But, I mean, we all saw the footage of what happened between you two out there.” She jerked her head towards the platform that jutted out from the tower, just visible past the floor to ceiling windows that were darkly tinted to keep out prying eyes. The news reporters had been ruthless in their attempts to talk to any one of us. Several helicopters had flown suspiciously past within just the last hour.

My eyes widened, “What do you mean? Do people--- does the team think--?” She just stared at me, silent. “Have you guys really been discussing…?” I didn’t even want to finish the question. She shrugged. It was answer enough. Now it was my turn to sigh.

“So are you going to go back? To your reality?” She asked after a moment of silence. I finally gave up pacing and sat on the chair across from her, “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t even know what I want to do.”

"But can you stay or go? Do you even have the choice?" Ruth asked ominously. 

Now, that was the question, wasn’t it? I had done what I was sent to do. Maybe not completely, as I’m sure they would’ve wanted me to get through to him before the Chitauri were allowed on Earth, but the bottom line was I had gotten through. What did that mean for me now? Was I expected to just go home? I’d lost the ring, a thought that plagued me every time it sprung back up from where I’d pushed it to in the back of my mind. They probably weren’t very happy about that. That was probably a big motivator in any desire to send me home. I frowned. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go home. And, now that I really got thinking about it, what about what the woman had said? She had come from a future where Loki betrayed us to Thanos. Was him being saved today enough to prevent that future? Or was there still a long, difficult journey ahead in order to prevent that deadly outcome?

“Quite frankly, I don’t know the answer to that either.” I replied.

Ruth nodded like she knew exactly how I felt. If she was anything like Steve, then she would know how it felt to be out of place and unsure of where she belonged. 

I looked at her closely, wondering how she dealt with it, and how she felt being here in a world that was so unrecognizable to the one she had known. Perhaps she could give me some perspective. And, in any case, talking to her about her life gave me the opportunity to forget about my own for a little while at least.

“How does it feel to be here in the middle of all this?” I asked, gesturing around the room. 

"How do you think it feels?" She countered.

I placed my elbow on the armrest and propped my head up on my hand, “Probably like a dream?”

Her eyes got distant for a moment, “Yeah. Sometimes.”

I let silence fall for a couple of minutes as we both delved deep into thought. Rain began to tap against the windows. I recalled my dreams, and wondered if my future lay within them. If it did, it meant I stayed, but dealt with much bigger issues than breaking someone out from under mind control.

“If you could choose, would you stay here and help handle the problems they’re facing now? Or would you go back to the life you had before you went under the ice?” I asked, drawing parallels between our situations.

"As much as everything here is stupid and fucking weird, back then things weren't as glamorous as the movies now depict it as. Especially for my kind. There are laws now that will protect me. Yes, I looked it up." She said with wistful smile. She wasn't giving me much to work with. So much for trying to find an answer. Though her statement did provoke some curiosity. I frowned, “Your kind?”

Ruth took a very unnatural pause then changed the subject. "Why did Loki kill Coulson?" She asked suddenly. I turned to her, puzzled. "He could have turned him. Coulson would have been a critical asset to have." She explained. 

I sat back in my chair, laying my crutches across my lap, “I wish I had an answer to that but I honestly don’t know that either. In the movie he killed him too and---” I paused, then smacked myself in the forehead, “Oh my God, I can’t believe I forgot!”

She stared at me, looking confused and a little concerned, “Forgot what?”

I glanced around as if I was telling an important secret, which, I might have been, if things went as they had in the movie. I lowered my voice, “Coulson didn’t die in the movie. Or he did, but they brought him back. There was a whole TV show about it. I never really got into the TV show so I don’t know much, but I know that he lived. Fury just lied to the team in order to get them to work together!”

Ruth just stared at me for a long while. After uncomfortably staring back at her for the entire duration, she suddenly got up and goes, "The fuck? I knew Fury was shady as shit but..." She paced a few steps away, and stood there, hands on her hips, head hanging low. She sighed and shook her head. When she turned back around my eyes went directly to the blossoming spot of blood that was forming on the front of her shirt at an alarming rate. 

I weakly pointed at her, because it didn’t look like she even noticed it. "There is, um, something on your shirt." 

While walking back my way, she faltered and looked down to where I was pointing, "Oh." Her face crumbled, like she was in agony, "I like this shirt." A pause, "I guess I'll have to go take a look at this."

"Umm..." I gazed dumbly at her back her entire journey to the double doors. She disappeared through them without so much as an explanation or a glance back. What had just happened? Couldn’t she feel that she was injured? Was that from the battle the day before or something new? She didn’t seem harmed by it, just inconvenienced. Perhaps that was an ability of hers? I had assumed she was like Natasha, but, she had to be more like Steve if she had survived under the ice, right? She was a mystery that left a lot to be understood.

She came back not ten minutes later in a clean t-shirt, having stitched herself up. She plopped back down on the couch she’d been sitting on before without a word. I opened my mouth to ask what that had all been about, since she didn’t immediately offer an answer, but was interrupted by a sudden noise. The elevator pinged to indicate that someone was arriving to the penthouse, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. My stomach immediately twisted as I turned to see who it was. Tony walked out, looking like he had aged several years in the past few days. He held a newspaper in his hand. He perked up once he saw Ruth and I though, holding up the paper, “Hey, you guys want to hear your superhero names?”

That hadn’t been what I was expecting, “What?”

He flipped open the paper, turning it so that he could read from whatever article he was looking at, “Oh yeah, the papers have officially named you guys themselves, since you didn’t really come into the game with names picked out. They’re usually not very accurate. I mean, they dubbed me Iron Man, which makes zero sense when you take into consideration that my suit is a gold titanium alloy, but it is very provocative.” He trailed off as he read the article.

“Well are you going to tell us?” Ruth asked. Tony’s head snapped up. He pointed at her with the paper, “You’re Six, I think they got that from you going by Agent Six in ancient times with Cap. And you,” He pointed the paper at me, “are being called Hellfire. Which I think is pretty fitting, because you do look like you crawled out of some deep dark hole in that armor.”

“Ugh, really? No, they can’t call me that.” I said.

“Why not?”

“Because within the comic book universe that tells the stories of you all, there’s a group of supervillains who are in a thing called the Hellfire Club.”

He shrugged, “I mean, it’s kind of fitting considering you are buddy buddy with a supervillain. It could be like an anti-hero thing, if you ever find the ring you so carelessly tossed off my building.”

I narrowed my eyes, not even paying any attention when the elevator pinged again and Thor and Loki entered the room. “Well, then maybe you should reconsider the name Iron Man.”

“Why would I do that? Iron Man is a pretty great superhero name.”

“Because in my reality there’s a song by Black Sabbath called Iron Man. It’s about a man who tries to save people from some impending doom,” he opened his mouth to interject, but I continued on, “and gets angry when they don’t listen to him, killing all the people he meant to save.”

“Oh.” 

I smiled smugly, and saw the corner of Loki’s mouth tip upwards slightly in a equally as smug smirk. Ruth literally laughed out loud and even snorted as she tried to say something at the same time, "It f-f-fits you."

Tony went through some very different expressions as he tried to save face. In the end he just turned back to me. 

“Well, you’re stuck with the name Hellfire.” He said matter-of-factly before looking to the other two who had just entered. "And you can take your brother out of my tower he oh so kindly tried to destroy. That would be very much appreciated."

Thor held up a hand, “Patience, Stark, we will not be here long.”

"Hey, you can come crash at mine anytime." Ruth winked in Thor’s direction. He shifted his stance a little, seeming somewhat bashful but flattered, “I’m humbled by your generosity, but I am currently seeing someone.”

“You still believe that Midgardian wench to be interested in you when you’ve been away for two years?” Loki quipped, the phrase Midgardian wench coming out twisted and condescending. I frowned and he caught my disapproval out of the corner of his eye. He pressed his lips into a thin line.

Thor chose not to respond, probably used to such snarky comments from his brother, “Steve Rogers has requested your presence on the floor below in order to talk to your superiors.” 

“I wouldn’t consider them my superiors.” Tony replied, though he started making his way towards the elevator. He slapped Loki on the chest with the newspaper as he walked by, “Hey, try not to open any portals or take over earth while I’m gone, okay?”

Loki glared at Tony with a venom I’d only ever seen directed at me; when we had first met. A slight glimmer in his hand caught my eye.

“Tony.” There was a clear warning in my voice. He turned at his name but merely shrugged and walked backwards through the open doors. Ruth jumped to her feet to follow, “I better go see what our Stevie wonder wants, too. Later, Nellie and Nellie's boyfriend and Nellie's boyfriend's hot brother.”

I felt everything in me shrivel up and die as she said what she did. I knew my face was bright red and I didn’t dare look up to see anyone else’s reactions.

“Oh? Are you two courting?” Thor asked, confused but pleasant.

“I knew it!” Tony chimed in just as the elevator doors closed on him and Ruth.

“No.” I said firmly at the same time, my face in my hands. 

"I knew I was considered repulsive by some but not to that degree." Loki said, clearly taken aback by my abrupt rejection.

My head immediately snapped up in both shock and annoyance, any residual embarrassment flushed out of my system. “Aren't you the one who is repulsed by me? Am I not a Midgardian wench?" I retorted, my arms crossed over my chest; trying to look as threatening as possible with crutches resting in my lap.

"Hellfire indeed." Thor commented, smirking at Loki. We both turned our anger towards him. His gaze bounced between us and he eventually held up his hands in mock defense, “I think I will take my leave as well.” He awkwardly waited for and then entered the elevator under our heavy glares, smiling briefly as he disappeared.

And then we were alone. I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself. It didn’t seem like either of us did. He meandered over to the bar. I felt awkward sitting, even if it was less work, and so got up, my crutches clicking on the tiled floor. We hadn’t seen much of each other since the battle had finished, both being whisked away to answer questions, explain ourselves, and stay out of the public eye. The World Security Council wanted both of us in their custody, but Fury had pulled some strings in our defense since I had followed through with my promise. 

What was the appropriate thing to say? The appropriate way to act? I didn’t know if that same vulnerability both of us had shown was something that was going to stick around, or if it was a one-time only event. I eventually made my way over to him. There was at least one question I had to ask.  
When I got to him, however, I didn’t immediately get the chance. As soon as I came to stand next to him he reached under my arms and lifted me up. My crutches clattered to the ground as I dropped them in surprise, “What are you doing?”

He sat me on the bar, “Fixing your legs.” 

“You don’t have to do that, I’m fine, really.” 

“I have seen enough of you trying to move on those things to know that it is only a matter of time before you trip and hurt yourself further.” I opened my mouth in protest and he looked up at me with a mischievous look in his eye, “Besides, you dance badly enough when in perfect health. Whatever would you do if you had to attend another dance?”

“Hey,” I said, with a smile and faked annoyance, “don’t be mean.”

He gave a kind smile in return. My resolve melted a little. It tended to when he looked at me like that.

“May I?”

I hesitantly nodded my consent, watching silently as he began murmuring words I couldn’t catch under his breath. He ran hands along my bare calves, raising goosebumps. It’d been too difficult to try and put on the jeans I’d brought, so I’d settled on the only dress I’d thought to bring. It also happened to be the one I’d worn to the meadow. 

He finished within a few minutes, having transformed the skin from mottled blue and purple to the familiar pale porcelain. I flexed my toes within my socks and squeezed my knees together without feeling any pain or strain. He then reached forward, trying to cup my cheek in his hand. It stung slightly when he made contact the scratches he'd left and I flinched away. He drew his hand back a little. After seeing the look on his face, I leaned into his touch, my heart fluttering. He murmured a few more unintelligible words and I knew he had healed the scrapes he had left the day before. His hand then dropped to the countertop beside me.

The silence continued and there was a quality to it that it took me a moment to recognize and name. “Why does this feel like a goodbye?” I asked softly.

“Isn’t it?” 

“Do you want it to be?”

A frustrated breath escaped him as he planted his other hand on the other side of me, trapping me between his arms, “I don’t think it would matter whether I wanted it to be or not.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

He stared at me and while keeping his gaze made me feel warm and flustered, I couldn’t look away.

“No.” He replied quietly.

“Me neither.”

“You would stay? Without the ring?” 

“I don’t need the ring. I think I’ve already made that clear.” 

A smile tugged at his lips. He tipped his head to the side, “What would you do?”

I sighed, “I don’t know. I wouldn't have much to offer the team, but I wouldn’t be staying for them, or with them, hopefully.” His brow rose in interest. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea for me to go home.”

His face alighted with curiosity; his voice carried a hint of amusement, “Why is that?”

“Because you’re going to need me to help you when you undoubtedly get into trouble again.” I grinned, “I mean, I let you go once and look what happened.”

He scoffed, mocking me from earlier, “Don’t be mean.”

“Where will you go?” I asked, “I can’t imagine them wanting to keep you here. Even if you somehow convinced them not to lock you up, you still... killed,” that was a little difficult to say, I tried to keep the infinity stone and the part it played in mind, “some people, including Coulson.”

He frowned, “Coulson? Is that the balding man in the suit?”

I nodded.

“I did not kill him. He fired at me before I could do anything more than turn to face him.”

“Ah! So Fury did lie!”

“Did he say that I did?”

“Yeah.”

“I suppose that is what happened in the film.” He paused, returning to the earlier subject of conversation, “They will almost undoubtedly not allow me to stay here, I only did what I could so that they would allow me to have this time.”

“Did what you could? What did you do?”

That wicked smirk I had grown to hate and love appeared, “Well, I had to tamper with the evidence so they wouldn’t have enough to imprison me.”  
“Loki!” I slapped my left hand down on his indignantly, “I should have guessed as much from you. But I told them the whole truth! They’ll know you lied!”

“Ah don’t worry little bird,” He laughed, “I made it so that your story fit with mine.”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.”

He reached down into a hidden pocket tucked somewhere away in his armor, pulling something out that I couldn’t quite see. He took my hand in both of his and closed my fingers around a round, hard object. I recognized it immediately by the hum of power that emanated from it.

“The ring? You found it? When did you even have the time?” I looked at it in wonder.

“I have my ways.”

I bit my lip as I thought hard about what it meant to have it. Eventually I held it back out to him, “I don’t think it belongs with me.”

“Oh, it does.” He assured me, pushing my hand away, “You’ll need it if you’re going to stay.”

I rolled it between my fingers, thinking about the choices I faced. I could stay. He seemed to want me to stay. I had the ring again, and I had done what Frigga and Heimdall and Fury had asked of me. While I was worried about what the future held and how my friends and family back home would feel, I felt I still had responsibilities here to take care of. I glanced up at Loki. The thought of leaving and spending the rest of my life wondering what happened to him was agonizing. The time between letting him go and getting sent here had been enough to teach me that I wouldn’t be able to properly handle that. And I had made a promise that I would protect him. Even if he didn’t want me to. I slipped on the ring. He grinned mischievously.  
“If Thor should ask you where you found it, maybe tell him it was lying on the floor somewhere over there.” He jerked his head in the direction of the area where Thor had been standing earlier.

“He was the one who found it and you stole it from him, didn’t you?”

“... Yes.” Uncertainty played out on his face, like he wasn’t sure how I would react.

"I think you need to teach me some of those tricks, Trickster." 

“They are a little dishonest for you, don’t you think?” He teased.

I shrugged, slipping off the counter and landing softly on the tiles, “Maybe, but then I’ll know if you ever try to pull one over on me.”

“I would never.” He turned to face me as I picked the now useless crutches up from the floor and set them on the bar where they wouldn’t be in anyone’s way. 

“Tell me something I’d actually believe.”

A pensive look crossed his face and, after a moment, he opened his mouth to say something, only to be cut off by the ping of the elevator.  
“Sorry to intrude, but we need to be going, brother.” Thor said, seeming a little unsure of how his words would be received, “Father awaits our arrival.”

All amusement fled Loki’s face at the mention of Odin. I couldn’t say I was all that pleased either. Even before any real life interaction with them all, I had never been a fan of the king of Asgard.

“If you’re returning with me,” Thor added after seeing the reactions to his statement, “although I know not where else you might go. It seems Stark is beginning to anger at our continued presence.” 

Worry threatened to overwhelm me as I wondered if I would be allowed to go with them. I didn’t particularly want to go to Asgard. I knew from Odin’s reactions to Jane in _Thor: the Dark World_ that he wasn’t a huge fan of humans, though the accuracy of the movie did need to be brought into question. Facing Heimdall, and especially Frigga, also sent my thoughts spiraling. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to meet them and have to see their in-person reactions to what I had done. However, there was no way in hell I was going to be left here. I glanced at Loki out of my peripheral vision, there was a likely chance he would face heavy criticism. I didn’t want to leave him to face that alone. I didn’t want to leave him at all. 

“I will return.” Loki said, his voice a bit strained and hard. “For some time, at least. Nellie shall accompany us,” he left no room for doubts or objections, “I imagine mother will wish to speak with her.”

A tiny smile formed that Thor tried to hide, “Of course.”

The rain pounded harder on the window.


	17. Chapter 17

The decision to go along with them to Asgard was a lot easier than actually going through with it. Not that it was hard to get there. No, it was just terrifying once the reality of it set in. I was going to Asgard. Asgard. Legendary home of beings worshipped for thousands of years as gods on Earth. Granted, I didn’t believe that they were gods, but they were powerful, and other-earthly, and maybe, just slightly, pretentious. At least to the extent of their attitude towards us humans. I imagined that the way I’d heard Loki and Thor talk about midgardians was learned. Something ingrained in their culture. Of course, that didn’t mean that they would be rude, Thor wasn’t, but it did leave the possibility of them looking down on me. And that, that was what bothered me the most.

I gripped the device surrounding the Tesseract tightly with one of my hands, feeling both my palms become slippery with sweat. It was hot and muggy after the rain earlier, and the sun beat down as if there had never been a cloud in the sky. It really didn’t do anything to help make things better. I would have preferred the rain.

We stood on the outskirts of Central Park. No passerby dared to disturb us, as there were SHIELD agents lining the perimeter of where we gathered. That didn’t stop the occasional flash from a distant camera, though. The rest of the Avengers loitered nearby. They were obviously not all that sad to see us go. I didn’t blame them. One of us had caused them a lot of trouble. One of us had tested their trust. They were probably better off without us.

"Hey, try not fuck off to space for eternity? You gotta school me some culture around here. I'm too old for this internet stuff." Ruth quipped, hands on her hips

At least she seemed a tiny bit unhappy with our departure. Although, I wasn’t sure if it was because she’d miss me or miss admiring Thor. I smiled nervously, “And miss out on your snappy remarks? Never.”

Thor turned the handle that he was holding on to and we were immediately surrounded by the light of the Tesseract. My vision was tinted blue and the figures of the other Avengers seemed to stretch and distort before disappearing entirely. It wasn’t unpleasant having the Tesseract transport us to another part of space; it was just strange. I felt a tingling sensation in the fingers of the hand that held on to it. Overall, it was much more comfortable than the portals.

In no time at all, we had arrived on the jagged end of the destroyed Bifrost, where I had met with Heimdall in a dream a mere few days prior. Had it really only been that short of time since I had started this adventure? The aforementioned deity stood exactly where I had last seen him, still keeping watch over the nine realms and an supposedly infinite number of realities beyond it.

I had physically been in Asgard two times before. Once in the woods on the outskirts of the city at night, where I could only see the glow coming from the bustling center of their civilization. And once in the enchanting meadow, which I believed was even further from the city than the spot in the woods. This time I was granted a full view of what Asgard truly was. To say that the movies did it justice would be to do an injustice to just how grand it all was. Tall golden spirals and a glow that couldn’t have come solely from the sun’s reflection off the metal. Darkly forested mountains in the background contrasted beautifully. To top it all off, the waters surrounding it all were more gorgeous than any I had seen. Not even the seas that I had admired on a family trip to Oahu could compare. I could completely understand why anyone who saw such a sight would believe it to be the home of gods.

Thor’s face immediately relaxed as he took in the sight of his home, as if just being here again was enough to clear away every stress he had shouldered. Loki, on the other hand, was instantly more stoic; keeping every emotion, good and bad alike, from making itself known. My initial wonder was crushed under the thought of what obstacles we might meet here. I let go of the Tesseract, tucking my hands into my pockets and anxiously playing with the ring. 

Heimdall spoke, his voice deep and gravelly. “Greetings, princes. Lady Hellfire, it is a pleasure to see you again.” His lips twitched up in the slightest sign of his amusement. I couldn’t help but smile back, albeit unwillingly, “Not you too.” It was nice to see him again. He held a powerfully comforting and calming aura that made me feel more at ease just being in his presence. Although, I was still a bit miffed that he had denied me any advice while I was still trying to stop Loki. He seemed to sense what was on my mind and stared me down with those golden eyes.

“I could not contact you without putting you at risk. The Allfather knows not of what the Queen and I have done in bringing you here and providing for you the ring. He would not approve.”

“What?” My disbelief was evident. Oh no. No, no, no. Odin didn’t know I had the ring? As if he needed more of a reason to disapprove of me. I should have never come here. He was going to be livid if he found out. When he found out. How could he not eventually find out? Maybe I should return it to him. Was that what I was meant to do? While I had told Loki that I didn’t need it, I wasn’t sure if that was true. Yes, I hadn’t needed it to stop him. But if I was going to stick around here, I sure as hell didn’t want to be left defenseless when shit hit the fan. Which was sure to happen eventually. How much time passed between the Battle of New York and the Dark Elves’ attack on Asgard?

“Does Odin know of our arrival?” Loki asked. I looked up at him.

Heimdall turned to him unblinkingly, “No. It is my duty to announce your presence. I have yet to do so.”

“Should I give it back? I should give it back, shouldn’t I? He’s going to be pissed, I--” Loki rested his hands on my shoulders as I started to ramble on, “No, give me your hand.” I trailed off and, after a moment, yanked my hand out of my pocket and thrust it at him. Thor, who had been slowly growing in his confusion, looked aghast when he saw the ring. He patted his armor as if the ring were still there, “How did you get that?”

I gave him a deadpan look, “You should just be glad I’m the one who has it.”

Loki gave me a look through his dark lashes as he passed his hand over mine. The ring shimmered gold and green before disappearing from sight. I knew it was still there however, as I could still feel its power and weight upon my finger.

"Now no one has it." He said, sass evident in every word although there was a certain amount of concern hiding behind it. He was worried.

The sound of hoofbeats drew all of our attention towards the city, where a lone rider had appeared seemingly out of thin air; oddly shimmery, thin air. I squinted, wondering if it was just an illusion made by the highly reflective Rainbow Bridge. A hood was drawn over their head so that we could not discern their identity. We were all immediately on edge, with the exception of Heimdall, who remained as still and calm as before. Thor widened his stance, but did not raise Mjolnir as though to strike, waiting instead to see who it was. This was his home, after all, not much could, or would, do him harm here. Loki, on the other hand, flicked his wrists downwards, two small blades appearing from his sleeves. He took a half-step forward. I stayed where I was standing, slightly behind him, and glanced between Heimdall and the rider. Surely, Heimdall knew who it was. And since he wasn’t bothered, it couldn’t be someone who intended us harm, right? My heart pounded nonetheless.

The rider came to a stop less than ten feet from us, the horse they were riding breathing heavily. They deftly swung down from the large animal. I realized now they had been riding side saddle, and were shorter and slimmer than they had looked while riding. A woman? They drew back their hood to reveal brilliant blonde hair that was pinned up in intricate braids and ringlets. A woman. She was stunning in an elegant gold dress and poised though she seemed disquieted to a certain extent. Frigga. I recognized her from the illusion Loki had shown me.

The tension on both Thor and Loki’s faces broke immediately. Thor came forward, a huge grin lighting up his features, the tanned skin around his eyes crinkling.

“Mother.” He set down Mjolnir and hugged her tightly. She nearly disappeared in his large arms. They pulled back after a moment and she smiled brightly up at him, “Thor, it is good to see you home safe.”

She then turned and looked at Loki. There was a moment between them where they both appeared unable to move or breathe, and then they rushed forwards, embracing. She held his face in her hands, “Loki, my son,” her voice broke, “you had me so worried.” I glanced down and away, trying not to stare. I felt awkward always being made privy to such intimate moments with this family.

They pulled away after some time and Frigga then turned to me. She was taller than me, which was surprising because I was taller than the average woman. But then again, I shouldn’t have been that surprised. This was Asgard, after all, and it was beginning to become clear that everyone was tall and imposing. Even their queen.

I struggled with how to properly address her, “Your--- Majesty.” I bowed my head in respect, pinching my dress in either hand to curtsy but deciding against it at the last second.

“You need not use those formalities with me, my dear.” She said, “Frigga will suffice.”

I stood straight, running a hand over my hair to smooth it down. I dreaded thinking about how plain and silly I looked next to such grandeur, “Of course. I’m sorry.”

She smiled, compassionate and motherly, “It is such a pleasure to finally meet you.” She moved to say more, her fingertips delicately brushing my arm, but Heimdall stepped forward, “My Queen.” There was a tone to his voice that denoted urgency, although he was just as calm as he had been when we arrived. Frigga nodded her head, “Yes, time is short.” She stepped back to better address us all, “In the likelihood that you should come here, I have persuaded Odin to allow an ‘emissary’ from Midgard into Asgard for some time in order to establish a beneficial relationship between the Æsir and the humans due to the increased number of interactions between the two. He has begrudgingly allowed it, so your presence here will be unquestioned for the time being. And no,” she caught me before I could even begin to articulate my question, “he is not aware of who you are. Nor will he recognize you, he did not care to know to whom we sent…” She trailed off, staring at her youngest son.

There was an uncomfortable silence, but the relief that flooded me knowing that there was an explanation for my presence overwhelmed any awkwardness I might have felt. She glanced at my hand and then back at Loki, “You’ve hidden the ring. Good. Keep it and keep it concealed.”

“What will become of me for my actions on Midgard?” He asked. The earlier ease that had briefly relieved him from tension fled, and his shoulders noticeably stiffened. That was the ultimate question, wasn’t it? There was proof enough to prove to the Avengers and SHIELD that he had been under the influence of the mind stone, so it was reasonable to believe that that same proof would be enough for Asgard and his family. However, there was one factor that played in here that didn’t there: his history. The people knew him, had known him his whole life. He had betrayed the throne in his attempt to take it not all that long ago, and while he had received his punishment for that, the fact that he had done what he had done and all on his own could be enough to plant some seeds of doubt.

Frigga reached out to him, but he shied away, his eyes cold and stone-like. Her hand dropped, “You are to discuss with him what happened immediately in a private council. A decision will be made from there.”

This wasn’t a satisfactory answer for anyone.

“Mother, surely Father would be willing to let me attest on Loki’s behalf, I was there to see the influence of the stone break-” 

“How could that possibly be in any way the correct path to making a sound judgement? He-”

“I’m sorry, I know I don’t have any room to have an opinion here, but I just don’t feel like he would have enough information to-”

Heimdall lifted his sword and firmly brought it back down, creating a loud ringing noise that silenced us all. Frigga gratefully took advantage of the silence, “I will attend the meeting, and I have already devised the appropriate way to show your father what he needs to see.

“Now, we have no more time to spare. I will depart, and Heimdall will announce your arrival. I will see you all in the palace.” She left without another word, easily seating herself in the saddle of the horse and taking off down the Bifrost. Her image shimmered as she got further away, before she disappeared entirely. She seemed to be hiding herself with illusionary magic similar to Loki’s. She didn’t want anyone to know that she had come to speak with us. Although, I wondered why she just hadn’t projected an image of herself here. Perhaps she had wanted to see her sons in person as soon as possible. Or, I snuck a glance at Loki, she had wanted to see one of them before possible imprisonment.

* * *

We were met at the end of the bridge by a battalion in shiny armor and led through the city surrounded by them in order to stave off any interaction with the public. I was in a daze, trying to process everything I was seeing. Who would have ever thought that I would be in Asgard? I sure as hell hadn’t. The streets we travelled down were broad and well paved with a reddish stone that complemented the many gold accents nicely. There were no large trees lining the road, but there were some small leafy plants here and there. The majority of plant life was growing thickly on well groomed terraces and rooftops. 

The people were, for the most part, dressed much as I had expected them to be. Their clothing did not hold the same grandeur that the royal family’s did. The fabrics were muted in color with small, subtle patterns. They wore many layers, and the women wore long skirts. Although some had slits up the front or side that showed the skin of their legs underneath. My first impression was that they all looked liked extras on Game of Thrones, including even some of the more atrocious hairstyles. They gaped at us and I was very, very aware of each and every step I took. _Heel, toe, heel, toe, heel, toe; ope, watch that crack; heel, toe, heel, toe._ I tried not to look at them, instead focusing on the creases in the black leather of my boots. It was a long walk. I was thankful for the small breeze that cleared away the sun’s heat.

The rest was a whirlwind of an event that happened so quickly that I had trouble remembering later on. We arrived and were escorted to the throne room, where Odin sat, his face firm and unmoving, looking critical and annoyed. Frigga stood next to him, completely composed, not a hair out of place, as if she hadn’t just come back from a secret visit with us. Words were spoken. Questions were asked. I’m pretty sure I agreed to a few things, including meetings with someone about how future interactions between Midgard and Asgard would be handled. And then I was escorted out alongside two guards, who were to lead me to where I would be staying. Though I was scared and reluctant to remain any longer under Odin’s steady gaze, I almost couldn’t get my feet to move. I knew Loki was about to be verbally flayed alive, and possibly punished once again. My heart lurched as the idea of him being sent away again wiggled it’s way to the forefront of my mind. I wanted to believe Frigga would never allow it, but a horde of creeping doubts wouldn’t let me. I couldn’t stand the idea of not seeing him. Of him being reprimanded for things he hadn’t had control over. He may not be perfect. Far from it, in fact. But he deserved better. I looked over my shoulder at him, briefly catching his eye as he watched me exit. He turned away as Thor began arguing with Odin.

The next few hours I spent in the room I had been given. It was spacious and, admittedly, very beautiful. The floors were a smooth, bluish gray stone that felt wonderfully cool beneath my feet when I took my shoes off. The bed was centered on the far right wall, draped in red fabric with intricate gold designs. It was decidedly larger than any I had had the privilege to sleep in, and I was happy to have it all to myself. The wall opposite to the door was made up of big, nearly floor to ceiling, windows, that were outlined in multi-colored glass, on the half closest to the bed, and, on the other half, featured a door that led to what looked to be a bathroom. A set of drawers, an ornate armoire, and a desk made of the same dark brown wood and finished with a shiny, clear varnish sat against the far left wall.  
I found I couldn’t do much except pace. I didn’t dare touch anything, feeling like it wasn’t mine to use, even though it was. Eventually I found myself sitting on the floor with my back pressed carefully up against the end of the bed. My phone had zero service, which was to be expected. It was also a relief, as I no longer had to endure the endless vibrating that came with the countless messages I had received. I glanced through them, cringing as I read the increasingly angry ones from my parents. Brittani had sent me a few, prompting me to call her when I had the chance. She’d have to wait a little longer than I had anticipated when I had promised to get back to her.

I closed out of the messaging app and impulsively opened my camera. After a minute of hesitation, I snapped a couple of photos of the room from where I was sitting. Turning up the brightness and examining each photo carefully afterwards. I was really here. This was really happening. Holy shit. I climbed to my feet and went to the windows, looking out at the city below. The sun was just beginning its descent, and shone directly at me, backlighting the whole city. It was breathtaking. I followed the narrow, squiggly lines of back alleyways with my eyes, spotting the occasional resident going about their daily routine. One area was just close enough that I could watch a man beating a rug just outside his front door, motes of dust floating upwards into the sky. I raised my phone and snapped a few more pictures, turning away to examine them on my screen again.

I still wasn’t able to completely handle the direction my life had suddenly taken, and was ambushed by moments like this when it dawned on me all over again. I wondered if there would ever be a time where I wasn’t pulled out of what was happening and forced to face my thoughts and feelings about being a part of all of it. I moved to take a couple of more shots when a knock on the door startled me. I nearly dropped my phone, catching it at the last second. I tucked it into my pocket, hurrying to the door. I took a moment to straighten myself out before opening it.

On the other side stood a older woman I didn’t recognize. Her face was aged and wrinkled, and her hair was streaked with more gray than its natural brown, but her eyes were lively. She was the first person I had seen here who was shorter than me, though she was broad and sturdy and could probably very easily kick my ass. She pressed what looked to be a piece of paper into my hand, “My name is Aufryn, Queen Frigga’s handmaiden. The Queen asked me to give you this, and to inform you that should you need anything, I will be nearby to assist.”

“Thank you.” I glanced down at the paper, it seemed to be a map. First Ruth, now Aufryn. I was crazy fortunate to have individuals who seemed to know that I would be helpless without directions. I smiled up at Aufryn gratefully. She gave me a knowing look in return, “I am also to tell you that Prince Loki is in the library, if that information is of any use to you.”

I raised my eyebrows, “Oh, umm, yeah, I--I will--uh--that is--” I pressed my lips together and nodded, slapping the folded map against the palm of my other hand. She inclined her head and turned away, heading back down the hall. I watched the swish of her skirts until she disappeared around the corner, and then let out the breath I had been holding forcefully through my nose. I opened the map and turned it every which way, examining the long, winding hallways and cursive words marked in black ink. The library didn’t seem too far away. I didn’t know what had happened in the throne room after I left, and I worried that things had not gone well. Although, if Loki was anywhere outside of a prison cell, I supposed that it couldn’t have gone that bad. The worry that he might not want to see anyone weighed on me, but he was the person here I knew best, the reason I had come here in the first place, my friend. It was my responsibility to see how he was, and I was tired of waiting aimlessly in my room for something to happen. I peered down both ends of the hall. I didn’t want to run into anyone. Not that I was doing anything that I shouldn’t, but any more interactions with the palace staff seemed like a surefire way to embarrass myself further. It was empty. I reached behind myself and pulled my door shut. It was heavier than I realized and the resulting bang echoed loudly. I cringed, making a face, and headed in the direction of the library.

The doors were huge, stretching up far above my head. They were made of some dark material (wood?) and inlaid with stone and gold that detailed stories of Asgard’s past. I spent a couple of minutes just admiring them when I first got there, craning my neck to catch the images near the very top. It was a lot to take in, but one theme as pretty prevalent across all of the designs: war. There were no handles or door knobs that I could see, so it was pure luck that the one was slightly cracked. I didn’t think I’d be able to open them without the leverage that it offered. A warm glow came from inside, illuminating the quickly darkening space around me. 

I took a deep breath and grabbed the door with both hands, pushing and pulling until there was enough space for me to be able to squeeze through. While it was difficult, it didn’t make any sound. I’d thought for sure it would creak loudly, announcing my presence. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the change in lighting, but once they did, I found myself astounded again by the beauty that this place held. The library was everything I could have dreamed a library to be. I felt like Belle from Beauty and the Beast. The room was rectangular in shape, with the doors sitting off to the left on one of the longer walls. The other held floor to ceiling windows similar to the ones in my room, but narrower and spaced apart between shelves. Every wall was lined with bookshelves that went up nearly thirty, maybe forty feet. Maps of what looked like other planets and realms took up any space that they failed to occupy The floors were polished wood, instead of the ever familiar stone, and added more to the warmth the room radiated. Two fireplaces, opposite to each other, burned brightly at either end. Wooden tables and plush chairs were arranged in small groups, with stacks of books sitting haphazardly around them. Sitting in one of the chairs sideways, his long legs propped up on the arm rest, was Loki. In on hand he held a red bound volume of medium size, probably around four hundred pages. The other was held up to his face, his thumb brushing against his lower lip. He didn’t notice me enter. I stood by the door a while, watching him and waiting for him to realize I was there. He stared hard at the open pages. If it hadn’t been for the face that he never turned to the next one, I might have thought he was reading. I got the impression that he was deep in thought.

Becoming impatient and feeling strange about not making myself known, I took a few hesitant steps forward and picked up the nearest book, setting it back down with a solid thump without even reading the title. His head whipped around so that he could look at me, the text he was holding falling to his lap.

“How did you know I was here?” He asked, the little crease between his eyes that formed when he was confused appearing. I walked slowly over to him, coming to lean against the chair that was near his. I held up the map, “Your mom had her maid give me a map and a clue.” A pause. “Are you hiding for a reason?”

He carefully closed his book and set it on the floor before swinging his legs around and sitting properly in the chair. He bent forward so that his elbows rested on his knees. His face was closed off, “I like to come in here to think.”

“What happened?” I asked, sitting delicately on the armrest of my chair. He pressed the tips of his fingers together, his pointer fingers touching his mouth. He didn’t answer. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. The only thing that’s important is that you’re here, and here to stay? For now, at least?”

He looked up at me, “Yes. For now.”

A silence settled in heavily around us, only the crackling of the fire filling the space. I didn’t quite know where to go from there. We hadn’t had much time to just… talk since his time with me in my reality. And that had been weeks, months, possibly even years, ago, depending on whose perspective we were considering. Some things had surely changed. There was an element of comfort I found in his presence, and I knew that I could talk to him about the important things. But when there was nothing to worry about, no world ending events, no fights for our lives, I found it difficult to gauge my stance with him. I considered him my friend. We’d been through a lot, and while we didn’t always see eye to eye, I cared about him. I’d like to believe he thought the same, but even in his most emotionally open moments he appeared to be holding some reservations. It killed me to consider all the reasons that he might have for holding back. It killed me to examine it all and come to the conclusion that maybe the only reason we were here, now, was because we were forced to stick together through some sticky situations. It killed me to think maybe he realized our relationship was nothing but one of convenience, and that I was the one foolishly trying to force a friendship. Maybe it had been a mistake to come here. I felt my stomach twist.  
He suddenly stood, startling me, and held out his hand, “Come, I think there is something you might like.”

I gave him a look, wondering what he was talking about, but gave him my hand nonetheless. He led me over to one of the bookshelves, indicating an area that was near one of the windows and about at eye level. “What?” I asked.

“If I do remember correctly,” he said, pulling a thick, dark blue bound novel from the shelf, “you are strangely obsessed with other languages. In fact, you wouldn’t shut up about that one theory from the movie you forced me to watch with you…”

I crossed my arms over my chest, “The movie was _Arrival_ , I wouldn’t have made you come with if I’d had the choice, and the quote un-quote theory is the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis.”

He smirked, “Ah yes. That.” He held the book out to me, “Well, if it interests you, this whole section has texts dedicated to the study and preservation of languages across the nine realms. Including some that have been lost to Midgardian history.”

My eyes widened and I carefully took the book from his hands, “Really? Oh my God.” I turned it over and over in my hands, almost afraid to open it. There was a light layer of dust that came off wherever I touched. Evidently, these weren’t read often. I glanced up at him to find him watching my excitement with a small smile and a twinkle in his eye. I immediately felt embarrassed, “Um, thank you. I will definitely take a look at these.”

He nodded, then turned back to the shelf, “That one is good but this one is my personal favorite,” he handed me a smaller book that was in much rougher shape, “and these ones are good as well, although the languages of Vanaheimr are absurdly complex.” He indicated a whole row that was just above my head.

“You’ve read all of these?” I asked, utterly surprised. I guess he had always been depicted as the more studious type, but I thought it a bit strange that he should study all these languages when he need only rely on Allspeak to communicate.

“I have read almost every book we have here.” He replied, his voice a bit smug. I nearly rolled my eyes, although inside I was impressed. There had to be thousands of books in this room, and he had read nearly all of them? It was something to be proud of, I had to admit. He grinned down at me, “How else do you think I learned Spanish?”


	18. Chapter 18

I spent several hours in the library with Loki that night, discussing the books he had read and what ones proved most interesting, as well as sharing what novels made up my favorites back home. It turned out that there weren’t many works of fiction in Asgard outside of some poorly written, angsty poetry (his words, not mine), which was a shame.

Conversation was surprisingly easy once it moved to more casual topics, and I caught myself smiling with nearly every word he said. When we weren’t arguing, we had a good time.

We agreed as we parted ways that night to meet in the library the next day, and the day after that, and the day following that one.   
A routine developed quickly from there.

In the morning and through most of the afternoon, I was escorted through Asgard by Thor, as he had been delegated my official partner in building the relationship between Midgard and Asgard due to his involvement on Midgard, and, I think, some time spent convincing Odin. Although he told me the first day that he had made an intense argument for Loki to be given the position, I guess that was out of the question for the Allfather. Then, in the evening when I had finally managed to get away from the responsibilities I had taken on in order to stay there, I would sneak of to the library, where Loki would be waiting with a smirk and a smart remark.

 

“My dear friends will be back from their mission later this evening and I would love for you to meet them.” Thor told me one day, two weeks after our initial arrival, as we walked down one of the city streets, two royal guards flanking us. It turned out that acting as an emissary was a lot more work, and took a lot longer, than I had expected. For the first few days, I had worried after every meeting that I would soon be sent home. I couldn’t imagine that there would be that much to discuss, and I had never been more wrong. There were so many different people to talk to about so many things. Was it expected of Asgard to send a representative in return? Or would the occasional visit from Thor suffice? Would there be an exchange of technology and scientific information? If so, what could humans offer? (A particularly rude question, in my opinion.) Was there need for permanent political positions in each other’s governments for there to be accurate representation? Was Asgard responsible for the damages incurred by Asgardians on Earth? What sort of difficulties would the Nordic religion pose when it came to Asgardian representation? And countless others. 

Luckily, as my friends back home would say, I was very good at being strongly opinionated even on things I knew very little about, and making it sound like I knew more than I did. I found it amusing to think of what Fury would have to say if he knew what I was doing, although, I liked to think that everything I was helping orchestrate would be beneficial, so would he really have anything to complain about?

The other half of how long it all took centered on a good majority of the Asgardians I was brought before not taking me very seriously. It was disappointing to learn that I was right in thinking they would look down on Midgard and everyone from there. Even with Thor by my side to defend us, it was tough and emotionally exhausting. Some nights I would go to the library utterly defeated, and Loki would urge me share what was wrong until I would finally give in and tell him what had happened. At first, he was quick to join me in agreeing to the issue of superiority a lot of Asgardian citizens held, cutting me off to tell me stories from when he was younger and how it stemmed from Odin’s past actions; in the process ignoring his hypocrisy, considering the attitude towards Midgardians he'd shown me on occasion. But as time went on, he grew more sullen and angry at the way they treated me. To the point where I stopped bringing it up, worried about how it affected him.

“Your friends? The Warriors Three?” I asked, picking up my skirts as we descended a short set of steps. I had taken to wearing the dresses I had found left for me in the armoire given I hadn’t brought many clothes with me and because I wanted to fit in; the stares I had received on the second day alone were enough to prompt a wardrobe change. I found it incredibly exciting to have a reason to wear the gowns, as I thought they were gorgeous. I had also been pleased to discover that they had pockets. They had been a little big at first, but when Aufryn had caught sight of how the hemline dragged and the sleeves covered my hands, she had been quick to bring them in without so much as a word. Something I was extremely grateful for, because I wasn’t sure I could handle one more word from Loki regarding the times I would accidentally step on my skirt and stumble. I had also started wearing my hair in the half-up, half-down hairstyle that was pretty popular amongst all Asgardians. That, however, wasn’t much of a change. I had often used that style to tame my hair at home.

“Oh, you know of them? And Lady Sif?” He turned to me, coming to a stop near a market stand that was selling what I thought to be some kind of fruit or vegetable. It was oblong, yellowish-green, had a purple bloom of a sort on one end and bright green roots on the other. Definitely nothing like it on Earth. I overheard a woman call them “yaro roots”.

I shrugged, “They were in the movies, you know, from my reality?”

“Ah, yes, of course. I had forgotten.”

“Yeah.”

“So, you will come meet them then? It would please me greatly to introduce one of my friends from Earth.” He gave me what could only be described as a puppy dog smile, earnest and open. Inwardly, I sighed. There was no way to refuse him, even if I did hesitate. I didn’t want to risk missing spending time with Loki.

“Sure.” I eventually agreed, resulting in an even bigger grin from the mountain of a man. He clapped a hand on my back, still misjudging how hard he could do that and nearly sending me sprawling to the ground, “Wonderful!”

 

The plan had been to quickly stop by the library before Thor came to get me so that I could let Loki know that I had something I needed to take care of that night, but I wasn’t given the time. Thor was knocking on my door and whisking me away not even an hour after we had gotten back from the city. He led me to a room in the palace I had never been to before, one that seemed oddly familiar. I was big, though on the smaller side to some of the rooms I had seen within such a grand dwelling. One wall was open to the outside, thick pillars evenly spaced apart the only thing between the indoors and outdoors. A small set of stairs led down from the pillars and to a long wooden table adorned with some food. From there the only other notable feature of the room was a shallow depression in the stone floor that held a fire pit surrounded by a heavily cushioned couch.

Thor’s friends were already there, and greeted him cheerfully when we arrived, paying me no mind at all. Overall, they looked a lot like their movie counterparts, coming second only to Thor, who looked so much like Chris Hemsworth that I was nearly convinced at this point that in this reality, Chris Hemsworth was Thor. 

“We missed having you with us, Thor, it was not the same without you.” Volstagg said, running a hand over his long red beard.

“I do not think Sif minded much at all, she delighted in leading us in your place.” Fandral quipped, his comment meant with boisterous laughter from all but Sif and I.

Sif smiled cheekily, “Someone had to round you fools up so that we could actually do what we were sent to do.” 

“Yes, well, I had business to attend to on Midgard.” Thor explained.

“You must tell us how that went, I almost did not believe the message we received on our way home detailing how Loki was not punished. Did he not kill many of the humans?” There was a shared glance between the four of them that clearly revealed what they dare not say out loud, how had that treacherous snake gotten away with it? Their dislike of him was so strong that it left a bitter taste in my mouth. I crossed my arms over my chest. 

Thor spared a look at me and gave a forced smile, “We can discuss that later, but you should know that Loki was not in control of his actions, the mind stone possesses a heavy influence over those who it is utilized against. Speaking of Midgard, however, I would like to introduce one of my good friends from Earth who helped defeat the Chitauri in the great city of New York,” he withdrew a half-step so that they could better see me, “Nellie. She is here now as an emissary, working with me to create a better relationship between Midgard and Asgard.”

I smiled weakly, regretting this meeting more and more with each second that passed, “Hi, nice to meet you guys.”

They seemed taken aback at first, but were quick to try and hide their surprise. Fandral reached forward and took my hand, kissing the back of it and giving a slight bow, “Fandral, it is a pleasure to meet you my lady.”

I felt both accomplished and discouraged discovering that he was just as much a lady’s man as I had depicted him as in my fics, “Thank you.”

“Is this who Heimdall referred to as Lady Hellfire?” Volstagg asked.

“It is indeed.” Thor replied, beaming as he appeared to think this meeting a success thus far. A look of respect mixed with confusion crossed Sif’s face.

“A fearsome name for one so…” Hogun began.

“Small?” I offered, “Haven’t heard that one before.”

The confusion on Sif’s face was replaced with amusement.

“I meant no offense.”

“I know,” I held my hands up, “it just gets a little old.”

Sif took a step forward, placing a hand on her hip, “Do not worry Lady Hellfire, they underestimate all women until they face them on the battlefield. I am sure your name is rightfully earned.” She gave me a knowing smile. This was met by a number of objections and launched a full on argument as to how much or little support the Warrior’s Three and Thor had offered to Sif in the past. 

The rest of the night was uneventful. I stayed the entire duration of their get together, not wanting to make things awkward by excusing myself, no matter how much I wanted to. After my initial introduction to the Asgardians, I was left out of the conversation for the most part. While Thor tried to involve me in the discussions, there wasn’t much I could offer when all they talked about were past victories and achievements on the battlefield. What little experience I did have, I couldn’t share, because it involved the ring no one was supposed to know I had. They were polite, but I could tell that they felt uncomfortable with my presence. Especially when any mention of Loki was met with subtle annoyance by me. Thor didn’t much like them talking bad either, but either because he was used to it, or because they were his friends, he had few objections if only to correct some misgivings held about Loki’s true intentions. And even then, there were some things he couldn’t deny.

When it was finally over a couple of hours later, I was so relieved I spent no time at all heading back to my room after bading Thor a quick good night and avoiding another kiss on the hand from a now tipsy Fandral. I opened the door, completely ready to surrender to the loving and comforting embrace of my bed, only to stop short at the sight of someone standing near the window.

“Hey.” I said, surprised, as I closed the door carefully and quietly behind me. Loki turned to me, his face half illuminated by the light from the city below, “Where have you been?” His tone was accusatory, making me pause and consider carefully what I wanted to say in return. I didn’t appreciate it, but I knew that anger was often times the only way he seemed able to express the things that bothered him.

“Thor invited me to meet some of his friends. I couldn’t say no, you know how he is.” I offered, making my way over, “I’m sorry, I meant to swing by the library and tell you but I didn’t get the chance.”

I came to stand before him, trying to keep things lighthearted and good-natured. I offered a smile, but he remained closed-off, his eyes unfocused.

“What’s the matter?” I asked softly.

It took him a moment to answer, and when he did, he tried to play off his obvious distress as casual interest, “When you failed to show, I thought that perhaps they had sent you back.”

I couldn’t hide my pleasure at this, giving him a smug grin and a light shove, “Aw, were you sad thinking I didn’t come to say goodbye?”

He rolled his eyes, “I merely thought it rude considering the time I’ve spent entertaining you, but if you’ve found someone else willing to deal with you, then I will take my leave.” He brushed past me on his way to the door. I caught his wrist before he could take more than a couple of steps, “Entertaining me?” I laughed as he slowly turned back to me, “Are you serious? What else would you be doing except moping around if I wasn’t here to talk to you?” A pause, “Besides, I’d have rather been with you, tonight was not fun.”

He raised a brow, and I indulged him by continuing, “There’s only so many times you can hear the same story about a siege on some orc? Or ogre?” His face broke into a reluctant smile, “Or whatever stronghold. Especially when everyone has to argue about who really took down their leader who apparently only had one arm?”

“Thor will insist he did it single-handedly, but it was actually Hogun with a very well-placed hit on the giant’s weak side.” 

“Oh? So you were there, uh? They never mention--” His face fell a little, and I stopped mid-sentence, biting my lip.

“I was with them the majority of the time.” He replied.

I took a deep breath, “Well, if you ask me, it didn’t sound like much fun, and neither was hearing them retell it. You lucked out.”

A few seconds of silence passed and I belatedly realized I was still holding on to him, only my hand had slipped down into his and somehow our fingers had become intertwined. I’d been holding his hand and he had been letting me the whole time. I could feel myself turn the color of my hair and was glad that I had my back to the light that shone through the window so that my face was in shadow. I thought about letting go, but at this point it would have been too awkward. Plus, I didn’t really want to.

“So, are we still on for the library tomorrow?” I asked, leaning up on my toes and then back on my heels in nervous excitement. Our hands swung loosely between us.

“I suppose.” He said with an air of indifference.

I scoffed, “Would you calm down? Your enthusiasm is getting out of hand, it’s embarrassing.” He became playfully offended as I proceeded to shoo him towards the door, “Now get out of my room, go, no one said you could be here in the first place.”

He headed out into the hallway, spinning on his heel to throw back at me, “How dare you speak to an Asgardian prince in such a manner.” 

“All you are is a royal pain in my ass.” I giggled, holding the door open just wide enough for me to be able to stick my head out, “Now, goodnight.”

He nearly blended in in the darkness of the hall, barely the vague suggestion of an outline, but I could tell he had donned his trademark smirk, “Goodnight, little bird.”

I kicked off my shoes and shed my dress after only a minute of struggling with the lacing, jumping into bed in the tanktop and shorts I wore underneath. My heartbeat sounded in my ears and blood coursed through my veins as I thought over and over our interaction, paying special attention to the way his hand felt in mine. Oh. _Oh_. Did I have feelings for him? It was hard to tell, and I was skeptical because of who he was. A long time crush held for a fictional character who had now become a very real part of my life. Could my emotions be trusted? Was I unknowingly projecting my own desires onto him? I didn’t want any of my ideas on who and what he should be from my life before him to affect my dealings with him now, because it had been a dream of mine for longer than I could remember to have something with him. 

On the other hand, it was important to remember just who he was. Loki. No matter how upset he got when I told him of the trademarked Asgardian pretentiousness, he had proved in the past he held a lot of the same feelings towards Midgard. Wouldn’t he think it below him? And even if I chose to forget all that, he was still so otherworldly and I, I was just a college student from the Midwest. We may have formed a tentative friendship but I didn’t think it strong enough to bear the weight of anything more. He might even find it laughable. This could potentially be very dangerous.

I pressed my palms over my eyes, frustrated. If I did have feelings for him, I was in deep trouble. I didn’t want to fall. My dealings with relationships in the past had been disastrous to say in the least. I always backed out. And I felt it to be so expected and stereotypical for me to have these feelings. Wasn’t this what invariably happened to every girl in this situation? Had I not read this same story a thousand times over? Had I not written this same story a thousand times over? So, I wasn’t sure if I could trust the spike in my heartbeat or the flush of my cheeks. I could just be flattered by the idea. I didn’t want to make a fool of myself or him. And I didn’t want to hurt him. He deserved better than that, and so did I.

At the same time, I could be overthinking it. We had just briefly held hands for fuck’s sake. 

I took a couple of deep breaths and rolled over so that I was facing the windows, catching a flash of white zoom by outside. I sat up quickly, trying to figure out what it had been. Suddenly another flash darted past the window, this one black and distinctly feathered. I squinted, birds? That was strange. They were the first I had seen since coming here. Something nagged at the back of my mind, but slipped out of my grasp like a wet bar of soap when I tried to bring it forward. After no further appearances, I settled back into the sheets and tried my best to ignore the hurricane of thoughts that battered my mind, and fell asleep.

A few days later we were sitting in the library after a particularly long day, reading silently on opposite ends of one of the three couches the room held. I was having difficulty focusing on the words, currently on the seventh re-read of the last paragraph of the page. Loki had been right, the languages of Vanaheimr were absurdly complex. There was absolutely no need for thirty-seven different verb tenses.

Earlier, it had been decided that in order to properly create a relationship between the two realms that a representative must be chosen from Asgard to go and live nearly full-time in Midgard. Odin had already shot down Thor’s requests that it be either him or Loki. Thor had to be here in order to rule once Odin stepped down, and Loki, I learned, was never allowed to leave Asgard again, or he risked being imprisoned.

I was upset, both because he hadn’t told me and because my stay in Asgard would eventually come to an end, and then where would we be? A stupid question to ask, because to be honest I didn’t even know where we stood now.

Though, at this rate, it would be a couple of months before I would finish my work because none of these stupid Asgardians wanted to live on Midgard. Thor had come with a whole list of around two dozen names that he believed would make great representatives and every. Single. One. Had turned us down. So, to say in the least, today had been a bad day.

I was broken out of my frustrated daze by a nudge from Loki’s foot. I glanced up at him from over the top of my book. He seemed to have noticed that I was not in a good mood.

“What would you say to going somewhere else tomorrow?” He asked, setting his own text on the side table behind him. 

The salt I was feeling about the whole situation evident, I replied, “I would say that tomorrow Thor and I will likely be running around the city trying to find one damn person willing to take the representative job until dark, so where is somewhere else?” 

He smiled mischievously, swinging his legs down from the couch and leaning towards me. This couldn’t be good, “I was thinking that you could skip your duties with Thor and meet me at the stables, you still have your map correct?”

I nodded, “But I can’t just skip out. I don’t want to get in trouble.”

“Thor is the one who is in charge, if you tell him you have other plans he will not argue.”

Still hesitant, I closed my book slowly, “I just don’t know if it’s the best idea.”

He sighed, “I promise it will be fine. If there is any trouble, I will take the blame.”

“You’re already in enough trouble as it is.”

“So it will make no difference to add one more thing to the list.”

“I don’t know if that’s the best way to look at it.”

He stood, “You forced me to go to dances, movies, and pointless lectures. I am going to force you to do this.” He snatched the book from my hands and headed for the exit.

“Hey, I didn’t have a choice you brat!” I yelled after him, “Give me back my book!”

He simply waved farewell and disappeared without so much as a second glance.

 

While I hated to admit it, Loki was right. When I met Thor in the usual hallway just outside the throne room and told him I had other plans, he had no objections.

“Ah, has Lady Sif invited you to spar? She was very interested after our meeting the other night to learn more about female warriors from Earth. I informed her that your talents lay elsewhere, but she was insistent. I would be more than willing to accompany you.”

I made a face of surprise, that had not been what I was expecting, “No, actually, umm, Loki wanted to go somewhere. He wouldn’t say where. I’m supposed to meet him at the stables.” I held up Aufryn’s map. It was beginning to look a little worse for wear after having been unfolded and re-folded so many times.

Thor raised his brows, “I see.”

“Is that okay?”

“Of course!” He grinned down at me, “I can see no reason to object.”

“Great, I’ll, uh, be going then.”

He caught my arm just as I turned away, leaning in so that no one nearby could overhear him, “You said you two are not courting, correct?”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or to sigh, he appeared so genuinely confused and curious, “No, Thor, we’re not.”

“You aren’t lying because you think I will disapprove?”

“No.” I insisted.

He pulled away a little, still unsure, likely due to the fact that Loki always lied to him. He didn’t press the issue though, “Well, if it ever were the case, I would like you to know that I would very much approve. I would like to see my brother happy, and I think you make him very happy.”

A reluctant smile tugged at my lips, “What makes you say that?”

In return he gave me nothing but a knowing smile, letting go of my arm and heading back down the hall as he swung Mjolnir in slow circles. I frowned as I watched him leave, wondering what that had meant.

 

The stables were difficult to find, but I eventually made my way there. They were surprisingly clean, but the dozen servants I avoided eye contact with while I tried to navigate my way amongst the stalls probably had something to do with that. After fifteen minutes of wandering around and trying to act like I knew what I was doing, a young blond servant boy tugged at my sleeve and pointed me in the direction of where Loki was waiting.  
“Thank you.” I whispered to him with a smile. His big brown eyes widened and he scampered off without so much as a word, his bare feet making barely a sound on the stones. 

“I was beginning to think you weren’t going to show.” Loki said when I came within sight, holding the reins to a huge black horse that dwarfed even him. It reminded me of the Clydesdales that my university had had pulling a carriage during the yearly winter celebration.

“Hey, give me a break. This place is huge and I still get lost driving around my small hometown of, like, 3,000 people.” I nervously approached him and the horse, who appeared to be eyeing me very suspiciously.

“Have you ridden before?”

“Once, maybe ten years ago.” I tucked the map into my pocket and then realized I had worn a dress to go horseback riding. Smart. “And never side saddle.” I grimaced.

“I suspected as much. We’ll ride together then.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked to be a sugar cube, offering it to the animal. The horse snatched it up quickly and Loki rubbed his hand down its nose. I tried not to think of the Norse myths surrounding him. Some things were better left ignored.

“Come here, let him smell your hand.”

I slowly approached and held my hand up to the horse, palm up. After a moment of hesitation, he took in a deep breath, his nostrils flaring, and snorted. I quickly yanked my hand back. The horse eyed me again and then took a step towards me, nudging the side of my head with his in a friendly manner. I laughed as he messed with my hair, “Does this mean he likes me?”

“Indeed it does.” Loki replied with a smile, “His name is Iagigg.”

“A pleasure to meet you Ia—Iagigg.” I corrected myself on the second try. Iagigg sputtered and I pet the sides of his face to calm him. While I had been nervous at first, I did love animals, and was really glad he liked me. He was a beautiful and majestic creature. The little sun that filtered through the slats in the roof brought out shades of blue and purple in his glossy black coat. His eyes, equally as black, were oddly intelligent.

Loki stepped to the side, “Ready?”

“Yeah.” I stepped around to the side as well, trying to gauge how best to get up on Iagigg’s back. I remembered how to seat myself; it wasn’t much different from seating yourself on the back of a motorcycle, which I’d done a few times last summer with a good friend. The problem became how to get my leg up high enough to get my foot in the stirrup since Iagigg was so tall, how to position myself so that I was sitting to the side, and how to do it all in a dress without falling or making a fool of myself. Basically impossible.

“Would you like some help?” Loki seemed amused at my predicament. He knew I would prefer to do it myself. And he also knew there was pretty much no way I was going to be able to. That didn’t stop me from trying.

“I can do it.”

Right foot, it was my right foot I had to put in first correct? And then I’d sling my left leg over… yes that was it. But wait, I had to sit side saddle. Couldn’t I try sitting normally? No, without pants the inside of my thighs would fare badly against the leather of the saddle. Damn, I couldn’t even lift my foot high enough to brush the bottom of the stirrup. I sighed and took a step back, analyzing all my options. Yup, there was no way.

“Okay, fine.” I conceded, turning to him reluctantly. He bit back a smile and picked me up by the waist, setting me up on the horse’s back with ease. It was a bit disorienting to be so high up. I grabbed the front of the saddle tightly so that I didn’t feel as though I could fall off at any moment. He quickly hoisted himself up behind me, and reached around me to take the reins again. I felt a little uncomfortable as we exited the stable and entered an open courtyard under the stares of a couple of the palace staff. In their defense, they tried to be discreet.

“You going to tell me where we’re going?”

“You’ll see.” He urged Iagigg into a brisk canter, the sudden pace increase forcing me to lean back into him. We travelled along the less populated streets that snaked behind the palace and soon left behind the crowded together buildings in favor of wide open fields with the occasional crumbling stone shed. I was reminded of home, where miles and miles of fields surrounded small farming towns. The first pang of homesickness I had felt since stepping through the portal hit me hard. I couldn’t help but talk a little bit about it.

“Do you regret leaving?” 

“... No. I love it, and my family, and I miss them, but I never wanted to stay there forever. I’ve always felt a need to travel and be a part of something bigger. My mom used to tell me that everyone felt that way when they were young, but eventually realized how big the world was and how much easier it was to stay with what was familiar. I hated that I would ever settle for such mediocrity. Not to say that there’s anything wrong with settling in the same place you were born, starting a family, and staying there for the rest of your life; there’s not. I’m just too restless to be content with that. I wanted something more.” I paused, thinking about where I was, what I had done, and who I was with, “I think I may have found it.”

Within about twenty minutes, we had reached the forest that marked the beginning of the foothills belonging to the large mountains that backed their center of civilization. I learned quickly that sitting side saddle was not comfortable. Both of my legs fell asleep before we even made it out of town. I dreaded reaching our destination and being expected to get off of the horse and walk.

Despite that, the rest of the ride was pleasant. The sun was warm and so was his chest where it pressed up against my back. Where I would have normally been tense and anxious about being so close to him, I was instead bathed in a feeling of peacefulness and happiness. It felt easy. Like the nights spent in front of the fire in the library exchanging bits of knowledge, stories, and snarky remarks. I wanted to live in this moment forever.

The forest was beautiful, with trees so tall I could barely see the tops and trunks so wide it would take upwards of three people to encircle them with their arms completely. The foliage was a rich, healthy green and padded the ground so that I could barely hear the fall of Iagigg’s hooves. It felt almost sentient. An ancient, wizened creature who had seen the fall and rise of dozens of empires. This belief was only reinforced when I felt like I could see movement in my peripheral vision. When a breeze from far ahead of us wafted in, carrying the dizzingy scent of flowers, I knew exactly where we were headed and couldn’t hold back the smile that came to my face.

We came to the edge of the trees and dismounted, Loki lifting me down without a word. I held his arm for a moment to steady myself, before taking a few quick steps into the meadow, unable to hide my eagerness, the beauty of the place hitting me all at once. It was so much more ethereal than I remembered. 

I turned back to him, my skirt flaring out around me. He was still standing next to Iagigg, “This is the same place from our-- talk?”

He nodded, “One and the same. I thought we could spend some time here. I don’t know about you,” He took Iagigg’s reins and lashed them to a nearby tree, “but I’ve begun to tire of the palace.”

“It’s definitely become a little stuffy.” I smiled at him, “Thank you.”

He smiled back at me, glancing down briefly at his boots, “Of course.”

So began a day of easy conversation and exploration of the meadow and surrounding woods. I had never felt so at peace, so full of warmth. It was as though the sun itself had taken residency inside me. Loki could name every flower, tree, and shrub. It truly amazed me at how much he knew. I caught myself staring at him in wonder too many times to count. If he noticed, he didn’t let on. When it grew to be around midday, we found ourselves lounging on a blanket with the remains of a light meal. He was in the middle of telling me about a trip to Álfheimr and the fantastic creatures that dwelled there. I was still caught on his use of “we” when he said “we should really visit some time”, when I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. He stopped abruptly, noticing as well, and we both turned to look further into the thickly growing flowers. If I wasn’t mistaken, I thought I could hear a woman’s laughter over the nearby stream.

“Is someone else--?” I began to ask when he held a finger to his lips. Last time we had been here and we had heard something, we’d had to make a hasty departure. I tensed up but remained where I was sitting. Then, I saw it.

Although there was no breeze, a large group of petals flowed through the air, twisting and constantly reforming, but remaining in a more or less cohesive group. 

“Landvættir.” Loki said softly, as though it were a secret. I wanted to ask what that was, but also felt like breaking the silence further would be wrong. I eyed the petals as they came closer, pausing every once in a while as though they, it?, was apprehensive about approaching, but too curious not to. Loki didn’t seem afraid, in fact, he seemed a little astonished, so when the petals came to hover in front of me, I tried to remain calm, assuming they meant no harm. It was strange, because while all I could see was a spaced apart group of flower petals, I felt a much stronger and much more substantial presence. They hovered just in front of my nose for a long half minute. Just as I reached up to touch one of them, they did a quick circle around my head, lifting my hair off my shoulders and then darted into the trees with a now distinct series of feminine giggles. 

“What was that? Landvættir?”

He turned back to me, “Nature spirits. I’ve suspected for years that they lived in this area, but they have never fully approached until today. They must have been curious about you, it has been centuries since they have seen a Midgardian.”

“Really? I didn’t know that other humans have been here.”

“They haven’t. The Landvættir came to Asgard once Midgard became increasingly populated by humans.”

A rustling in the trees in the general area the Landvættir had disappeared started up. We both watched carefully as just beyond the edge of the meadow, a mass of green leaves and vines shifted closer. It seemed a lot larger than the petals, and when it broke the line of the trees, we got to see just how big it actually was.

The creature had to be at least two stories tall, maybe even more, it was hard to tell due to the fact that it was crouched over. It was solid, unlike the earlier Landvættir, with an easier to distinguish shape. It even had a head and face, although the face had no distinguishable features outside of pure black eyes. I was reminded of the forest god from one of the _Hellboy_ movies, only this being appeared more benevolent in nature. I felt no reason to be afraid. It lingered at the edge so that it was still in the shade, and studied us. We watched each other in silence for a few minutes.

Loki leaned towards me, “If you want, you can go up to her.”

My eyes widened. “Go up to her? Are you sure?” I whispered.

“She means you no harm, she is just curious. Word has spread fast.” He smiled, “They must like you.”

I slowly stood up, straightening out my clothes, “Won’t you come with me?”

A flash of what looked like sadness crossed his face, “They are afraid of me, that is why they have never appeared before, and took so long to do so today. Only their interest in you was strong enough to draw them here.”

“Afraid of you?”

He looked down at his hands, and I watched as they slowly turned blue, intricate designs etched on their surface. His Jotun form. I breathed in suddenly, shocked he would show it, and he clenched his hands, returning them to their normal shade. The expression on his face screamed shame and embarrassment. 

“Ice, cold, winter; everything I am is death to them. If I approached they would leave. I have tried in the past.” 

I moved to sit back down, “I don’t have to--”  
“No, do not miss out because of me. Sightings of them are rare, and it is even rarer that they should allow anyone near them. It is an honor.”

I stared at him for a long second, before hesitantly turning back to the creature. She had tilted her head like a cat. I swallowed and slowly began my approach, taking soft, measured steps. She did not retreat, merely watched me come closer.

When I reached her, she stared down at me and in her eyes I saw that wizened, ancient sentience I had felt earlier. Her presence was heavy and palpable in the air around her, but not oppressive. More like a comforting weight; Something to hold on to. I raised my hand up, and when she didn’t flee like the petals hand, gently laid my hand where her nose would be if she had one. She blinked once, long and slow, and moved as though she was breathing in deeply. I looked back over my shoulder at Loki, unable to hide my excitement. This had to be the most amazing thing I had done yet on this crazy adventure. Everything felt possible in this moment. Loki smiled back, but there was an element of restraint. It was obvious to me that while he was happy for me, he also wished that he could participate. I bit my lip, looking back at the creature briefly, then motioned with my free hand for Loki to come over.

He immediately shook his head, but I glared at him and kept waving insistently. He gave me a look, but his desire to see the Landvættir up close was too strong for him to resist for very long. He eventually got to his feet, hesitantly making his way over. He came to stand just a little behind me. The creature eyed him, but did not move away. Gingerly, I reached over and took Loki’s hand in mine. He resisted at first, but eventually allowed me to bring it up and hold it to her face. Her leaves rustled, as though she was nervous, a dusting of yellow pollen coating our clothes, but she still did not retreat. A look of wonder crossed Loki’s face and he let out the breath he had been holding. I beamed up at him, the pure delight that emanated from him making the sun inside of me burn brighter.


	19. Chapter 19

The Landvæittir had warmed up to our presence fast after our encounter with the first two. Not too long after Loki’s interaction with the large green one did several more made of petals appear. They darted through the meadow, jumping and spinning in the air like dolphins in water; high pitched giggles filling the area. They were extremely playful, if not a little rambunctious. I thought that maybe they were the inspiration for fairies and sprites in old folktales. The smell of the flowers, the richness of the earth, and the green of the plants seemed all the stronger in their company. They played with our hair, tried to goad us into what I think was a game of tag, splashed us with water from the stream, and took what remained of the food Loki had brought. One seemed particularly interested in the silver cross necklace I wore, and I worried when it came close that the silver would burn it as it tended to in the stories I had read, but it remained unscathed. It hovered in front of my face as the first one had and I felt a cooling sensation across my cheeks and arms. I noticed that the slowly spreading sunburn I had fallen victim to disappeared. I thanked them profusely. We enjoyed their company for a time, but as the sun began to sink lower, the Landvættir began to take their leave, and so we headed out as well.

The ride back to the city was filled with a pleasant silence. Today had been such a wonderful, beautiful day. I had never thought I would have such a thing happen to me. The flowers, the weather, the nature spirits, it was all so much. So much to comprehend, to process, to believe, to love. And, forgetting all that, Loki. There had been moments where I could feel a stirring in the back of my mind, in my heart, in the pit of my stomach; something that made me feel a little sick and a little excited and, just, happy. So unbelievably happy. I thought I had felt this way before, for brief moments. Like when my good friend had asked me to prom. But it was so much stronger. Like a single light bulb compared to the light of a raging forest fire. It was thrilling and it was terrifying, what I was starting to feel towards him. I did my best not to prod and poke at those emotions. I was afraid of what they might release in me. And so I stayed quiet, feeling as though the silence was the dam holding the floodwaters back. That was, until I spotted something interesting in a nearby tree, one of the only ones that broke the otherwise even flatness of the fields surrounding us. They were partially hidden behind some of the foliage, but as Iagigg moved forward they came into full view. A pair of ravens; one black, one white. They were larger than any ravens I had seen before, and made me feel exceedingly uneasy. There was a quality to them, besides the fact that I thought I had seen them outside my window a few nights prior, that told me I should be worried. Just as I was about to say something about them, Loki spoke.

“I want to leave.”

That stopped my train of thought in an instant.  
“What?”

“There’s no reason to stay in Asgard for any longer than I already have. There is nothing for me here anymore.”

I picked at the leather of the saddle, trying to stay composed although I felt anxious. Nothing here? I was here.

“You’re forbidden to leave.”

“Did Thor inform you of that?”

“Yes. Is he wrong?”

“No.”

I expelled a forceful breath through my nose in frustration.

He paused, then leaned down so that I could feel his breath on my ear, “I want you to come with me.”

My heart stopped, “Really?” I desperately wanted to look at him, but at the same time, I was glad that I couldn’t (not without twisting around very uncomfortably, at least). I was surprised, but wrongly so. Hadn’t I followed him here? Hadn’t he been the one to invite me along to come here? Hadn’t we spent many days enjoying each other’s company? I guess I still had this idea holding me back that he only tolerated my presence, no matter how much his actions proved the opposite. “Where would we go?”

“We would need to make a stop on Xandar. If I leave there is little doubt in my mind that Odin will attempt to forcibly have me return, if only to dole out the punishment he would then be able to justifiably inflict since I would have directly defied him. I will need a way to hide us from any attempts he might make to find me, there is something there that can do that. Then, wherever we wish.”

“You think Heimdall would tell him where we go?” I frowned. Heimdall had thus far been on our side. I found it hard to believe he would turn on us like that.

“There are other methods he could use, but as for Heimdall, he has helped us so far because he has not been specifically commanded not to. If Odin were to demand he reveal our location, he would have no choice but to comply, or else risk being charged with treason.”

“Oh.”

“Would you come?” There was a soft plea in his voice that stopped me from doubting he really wanted me to come along and kept me from asking if he was sure.

“Well, I don’t think I really have much of a choice--”

“I wouldn’t in any way force-- and I don’t expect you--”

“Oh shush, would you? That’s not what I meant.” I paused. We had reached the outskirts of the city. While this was one of the less populated areas, I lowered my voice. I didn’t think he would want anyone to know he was thinking about going against Odin’s direct order to stay. “What I meant is that there’s no way I’m staying here if you’re jumping ship, are you kidding? Who would I talk to? Thor? He’s my friend but if I had to sit through one more awkward dinner with him and the Warriors Three I think I’d throw myself off the Bifrost.”

I felt his chest constrict as he held back a laugh. I craned my neck so that I could look up at him. “Besides,” I shot him the sweetest smile I could muster, “I did say it was my duty to keep you out of trouble, didn’t I? If I can’t, or won’t, stop you from leaving, then I have to go along. Someone needs to be the voice of reason in whatever mischief you get yourself caught up in.

“The only thing I’m worried about is your mother and Thor.” I faced forwards again, “They’ve helped us both a lot, and at risk to themselves. I’d hate to think they might be put under fire if Odin were to realize they lied to him. Plus, what if-- did you watch all the movies?”

“... Admittedly, no. I found them to be offensive and highly inaccurate.”

“Oookay,” That’s not what he had said when I had explained the plots of them, but I supposed that actually seeing the story of your life rather than hearing a quick synopsis might give you a different opinion, “well in The Dark World, as you may remember me telling you, the Dark Elves attack Asgard…” I trailed off, not wanting to say what came next. It was different talking about someone’s death when they were an actual real-life person to you instead of just a character on a screen. It felt sacrilegious.

“I know.” He said quietly, “That is something I have thought about quite a bit.”  
He didn’t say anything more, and I let the topic drop. 

 

Having spent the whole day together, we made no plans to meet at the library. Instead, he dropped me off at my door, “We’ll discuss more tomorrow night, but we should plan for leaving no longer than a few days from now.” He stood close. I noticed two guards making their way down the hallway towards us and wondered if he was trying to avoid prying ears. Although, the guards didn’t even seem to notice us. They kept their eyes pointed forwards, occasionally making small remarks about the day’s duties. I thought it strange, as in the past I had always seen guards acknowledge those they encountered, especially the royal family.

I nodded, “Okay, and hey,” I reached out as though to touch his arm, but instead let my hand fall through the air beside him, a little self-conscious since we weren’t alone, “thanks again for today. It was wonderful, truly, just, so, so magical. I--” I couldn’t even put into words how I felt, instead sounding like a complete idiot as I failed to form complete sentences. “You know what I mean.”

A smirk slowly grew on his face and I immediately tried to defend my sappiness, “Oh, don’t even be a dick right now, I’m trying to say something nice to you!” I stage-whispered, pushing him lightly and forcing him back a few steps. To my surprise, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him. I glanced to where his hand had moved to my elbow and then to his face, questioning his actions.

“I know what you meant, it was my pleasure.” He leaned down slowly and placed a gentle kiss on my temple, “Goodnight.”

He walked off down the hall before I could do so much as take in a sudden breath. I placed one hand against my door in order to support myself in my shock, feeling as though I had just been shattered into a thousand pieces. My veins were flushed with heat and I felt extremely embarrassed that there had been witnesses to that. My gaze darted to the guards in order to gauge their reactions. Weirdly enough, they appeared completely oblivious to not only what had just occurred not ten feet from them, but also to our presence. Even as Loki passed them, they remained focused on the pathway ahead of them. It was as though they didn’t see either of us. 

Although my mind was scrambled from the moment we had just shared. Had he really just kissed me? I found the lack of attention from the guards suspicious. How had they not noticed? It was their job to be keenly aware of their surroundings and, especially, the people who occupied them. Perhaps they were also trained to act unaware of anything that might be considered private, particularly something private that was harmless and involving a royal, and even more so concerning an affectionate action such as the one Loki had just performed. Still, something nagged at me. There were a couple of things recently, like the birds, that just didn’t sit right with me.

Without giving my actions much thought, I coughed loudly, clearing my throat in the way that was obviously done to get someone’s attention. The guards suddenly stopped, turning to face me with surprise evident on their features. They seemed a bit wary, as though someone had just gotten the upper hand on them. I felt even more embarrassed than I had earlier now that their attention was fully turned to me and fumbled with the handle of my door. Finally managing to turn it, I quickly slipped into the room and shut the door loudly behind me. Trying to catch my breath, I thought over what this all meant. Their startled expressions were enough for me to conclude that they hadn’t known I was there. Which meant that they somehow hadn’t seen me or Loki during our little conversation, despite walking right past us. How could that be? Was… was Loki hiding us from them? He had to have been. But, why?

I spent most of the night unable to sleep. If it wasn’t thoughts of the guards and the birds keeping me awake, it was thoughts of Loki and what his actions meant. Why the kiss? Why hide us from the guards? Was it out of a desire for privacy (he did seem like the very private type) or a want to avoid embarrassment? Though logically I knew the former to likely be true, my mind couldn’t help but cling to vexing thoughts like: Was he ashamed of me? Why even bother with the kiss? What was the point of it? An affectionate gesture to show… that he cared? That we were friends? Or something more? I desperately tried to make myself believe that it was nothing more than sign of close friendship. We had been through a lot together, it wouldn’t, shouldn’t, be that hard to believe. For some reason though, I just couldn’t do it. My own feelings towards him were pushing their way into the mix, clouding the waters, making the whole situation unclear and confusing.

I lay awake, occasionally grabbing for my phone before realizing that it was useless in Asgard. No matter how badly I wanted to talk to someone, anyone, from home, I couldn’t. I desperately needed a pair of fresh eyes. Someone who wasn’t so emotionally involved. I was itching to call Brittani or any one of my close friends who I had so quickly, so thoughtlessly, left behind. And if I couldn’t call one of them to talk out my feelings about Loki, then God did I wish I could just fucking use the internet to google where those damn birds were from, because I knew I had read about or seen them somewhere before.

After many long hours, light began to filter into the room. Frustrated, I gave up and crawled out of bed. One look in the mirror said it all. The skin under my eyes was a light bluish-purple, contrasting horrifically with the bloodshot white surrounding brown irises. I looked like a mess. My curls were in disarray and most of the red dye had been stripped from my hair by whatever passed for shampoo here. I was left only with my comparably dull natural dark blonde.

I sighed. I knew I was just nitpicky about my reflection due to a sleepless night and so many unanswered questions, but it sure as hell didn’t help that I looked terrible. I absolutely dreaded seeing Loki tonight, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold back from asking him why he did what he did. And I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear what he may say in response.

 

“You look very nice. How was your day off?” Thor asked when we met in the usual spot. In an attempt to make up for my less-than-perfect appearance, I had chosen to wear one of the dresses I had been eyeing but never worn. It was mostly gold in color and nicer than most of the others. Donning it had made me feel a little more capable of facing the day. Hearing Thor’s compliment lifted my spirits a little. He was particularly happy today, flashing pearly white teeth in a bright grin. The few small braids he kept in his hair swung forward as he tilted his face down to address me. He faltered when I didn’t immediately return any part of his enthusiasm.

The concern in his voice was overwhelming as we began walking towards another part of the palace, likely to talk to some pompous official who thought themselves above taking an assignment on Midgard, “Everything went well, I hope?”

I softened my demeanor so as not to give him the wrong idea, offering a small smile, “It was a wonderful day, Thor, thank you for asking.”

He nodded, but he could tell that something was wrong. I didn’t want him to worry, so I tried to elaborate.

“I just didn’t sleep very well.”

He suddenly stopped walking and pulled me behind a pillar. He stared down at me long enough to make me feel uncomfortable, “We have spent many a day together, Nellie. Though it has been on the rather fruitless task of building a political partnership between two very stubborn groups of people,” I wanted to interject; It was the Asgardians making things so difficult, but it was clear he knew that and was just trying to get to another point, “I would hope that this time has also fostered a friendship. I am willing, and eager, to listen to whatever you may desire to say. No matter the topic.”

I matched his stare, considering whether I should tell him or not. He was so earnest, so willing to help in whatever way he could. I couldn’t keep denying there was in any issue. He knew something was troubling me. But what would I say? Thor, I think I might be in love with your brother, but I’m afraid that even though he’s done some really nice things for me, he doesn’t feel the same and probably only puts up with me because everyone else here, besides you and Frigga, hates him? That I am afraid he is exactly who the movies make him out to be? That even if he does feel the same way, I don’t feel like I am good enough since I still wonder whether or not he is the villain? That it doesn’t matter if he is or not, because God, when I am with him I feel safe and at home and I can’t imagine a life without him?

My hands started to tremble, and I forcibly stuffed them under my arms to hide it. Oh my God. I was in love with him. I was in love with him. I could no longer deny myself the truth, no matter how hard I tried to ignore it.

“Thor, I--” The sound of footsteps cut off whatever was about to come out of my mouth. We both turned to see who it was.  
Odin. He stood in the hall alongside Frigga, and was fervently talking with her about something. We were hidden quite well behind the column, and so my guess was that they didn’t know we were there. Thor made as though to step from the shadows and announce our presence, but I put a hand on his arm to stop him. I had heard my name. 

“Do you think me a fool? I have known from the moment she stepped into Asgard who she was and what you had done.”

Oh no. I clutched the collar of my dress tightly. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Odin had known all along what we had been hiding under his nose, and yet he had played along? Why? Thor glanced at me, and took a step back further into the darkness. Whether it was because he knew we wouldn’t be welcome or because he was just as interested as me in hearing the rest of their conversation, I knew not.

Frigga replied, but her back was to us and she spoke quietly, trying to remain calm, so I was unable to hear her.

“No. Do not make excuses for him. You have played unknowingly into his games the same as she. You can believe all you like that he cares for her, but by doing so you are only enabling him. He is--”

He paused as her hand caressed his arm. She was trying to appeal to him with a soft touch and gentle words. It was almost unlike her; my few encounters with her had shown her to be much stronger and much more defiant than this. But then I noticed the straight stiffness in her spine and the way she held her head high. She was not groveling. She was using charm and allure, masked as the tender emotional entreaty of a mother, to convince him of her thoughts. Unfortunately, Odin seemed immune.

“That boy gave her back the ring because he knew you would believe it to be for her protection. So long as he pretends to care for the Midgardian, she and, subsequently, the ring, will be in his possession. She will use it to defend him, and as a result, he will be free from opposition. All he need do is convince her that his motives are just, that he would be in danger otherwise, and she will aid him in doing whatever he pleases. He will play along with her until she is no longer of use, until all eyes have turned away from him, and then he will take it. And we will have unwillingly given him the keys to taking whatever else he desires.”

I felt tears burn and I did my best to not let them fall. This was what I had feared. 

“This is exactly why he did not take it for himself, so that you would defend him, and so I could not reprimand him without being made to be the villain. Even now you doubt me, but I know he has done much to hide his actions from me, you, and everyone else.”

The guards. Surely he was talking about the guards. Even if he didn’t realize Loki had been hiding us from them specifically, Loki must have done more that he did know about. 

“A show for the servants. He knows they answer to you and that they would whisper in your ear of what they saw. A trick to encourage your belief in his lies. Remember who he is, Frigga, he is not a lovesick child, and you should not treat him as such. He has never felt love for anyone, not even his own family.”

I couldn’t listen to this anymore, but there was nowhere to go, not without being seen. Their argument had quieted down, comprised now of urgent, hushed comments, but they stayed where they stood. I could feel Thor’s eyes on me once again, but I didn’t have the nerves to look up from the floor. I feared that if I saw the pity on his face I wouldn’t be able to avoid dissolving into tears. I didn’t want his sympathy. He stood for a moment, considering what to do, before jogging out into the hallway.

“Mother! Father! I have been searching for you. I was wondering if you would accompany me to speak with Lady Eitia Njarr? I think she would be a wonderful choice for the position of Asgardian Ambassador to Earth, but she may doubt her ability to take the position considering you appointed her to her current standing. Would you come so that you may assure her otherwise?”

Thor stood so that they were forced to turn their backs on my hiding spot, giving me the opportunity to escape.

“Of course, but where is your partner in all of this? Shouldn’t she accompany you as well?” Odin asked, as though he didn’t know the whole ambassador thing was a ruse. I hated him now more than ever before, even if he had just revealed the truth of Loki’s actions. Maybe I hated him all the more because of it.

Knowing I might not have much more time and not wanting to waste the opportunity Thor had given me, I slowly stepped out from behind the pillar and started making my way away from them. Thor’s response faded gradually with my retreat, “Yes, but unfortunately she is feeling ill…”

I didn’t know where to go from there. I had spent enough time in my room the night before, tossing and turning and mulling over my feelings. Going back there would only make me feel more uneasy, and more alone. That didn’t leave many other places to go to, though. The dining hall I had never been to without Thor, and was sure to be crowded. The meadow was too far, and I had no idea how to get there. That left only the library.

Every step was painful, because I knew that even if Loki wasn’t there now, he would be, eventually, waiting as usual for me to join him. Only now I would be the one waiting for him. 

I reached the huge, beautifully carved doors and found them completely closed. Loki usually left one of them propped open for me. I stared hard at their depictions of war and violence for a long time, before giving in and using the ring’s added strength to push one open. It was strange. This was the first time I had used it since the Battle of New York. It was almost reassuring to feel it’s hum of energy again. With Loki’s illusion I had nearly forgotten it was there. I stared down at my hand. The magic covered only the ring, so the armor seemed to extend from a blank spot of skin. I retracted it quickly as I walked into the empty library. This ring, this ring was what gave and took away my power. Without it I was nothing to this reality. I didn’t have any ability to help or to destroy or to take part in any way. With it I had strength, but might also be a pawn in someone else’s game. I felt manipulated by all of them, not just Loki. They all had their own ideas on how I was a vessel for the things they both wanted and despised. Frigga thought I would be what brought out the best in her lost son. Heimdall followed her instructions because he believed he could stop the terrible things that had happened in other realities. Odin thought I was the tool his son would use against him. I shakily slipped the ring off. Once it left my hand, the illusion faltered and, after a brief second, dissipated. I rolled it between my fingers. The metal felt warm. I carefully set it on the nearest table and sat heavily in a chair close by, my eyes still burning. I stared at it like it might suddenly move, or explode, or kill thousands of people as it had in the past. A few tears slipped past my defenses.

No, I wasn’t nothing without the ring. I had stopped Loki all by myself. Just as I was. So was it the ring, and by extension, me, or just me? Which was it that he wanted? I yearned to believe it was only me, and some part of me was capable of doing that. I wouldn’t have been able to break him of the mind stone’s influence otherwise. But that didn’t eliminate the possibility of him using me to have possession of the ring as well. He could do both. I wanted, needed, to know if that was the case. If it was… well, I wasn’t sure what I’d do. Maybe leave. Maybe give up the whole lie to Odin and have him send me home. I bounced my knee, unable to stop shaking with nerves. No, I couldn’t go back. I cared too much. I was too involved now. And the last thing I wanted was for Odin to win. Even if he was right about Loki.

I waited for a long time, which was to be expected, it was still very early in the day. Though I was tired from the night before and very tempted to sleep, I resisted. Instead I browsed the shelves I had yet to touch, skimming title after title. At first I had been surprised that all of the books were in English, but then Loki had explained that they were enchanted with something akin to Allspeak, so that anyone could read them. Unfortunately, Allspeak was not a learnable language, much to my disappointment. It was something inherent for all Asgardians; they didn’t understand it anymore than anyone else. I had asked at the time without thinking if that was the reason he bothered learning languages the old-fashioned way, because Allspeak wasn’t something that came naturally to him. The silence that had followed my question had been deafening. I had forgotten how sensitive that topic was for him. Eventually, he had given a slight nod and a soft affirmation of that being the truth. I had imagined him as a child spending hours in that library, doing everything he could to fit in with his peers. It was likely what drove him to learn as much as he did.

Having picked out a few promising books, I sat back down in my chair from earlier and set about reading in order to distract myself. With every word I could feel my nervousness lessen. I wasn’t sure how I would broach the subject yet, but I knew it had to be done. If Odin knew about the lie, the ring, everything, then we could be in danger. He could know about the plans to leave. Even if we gave everything up, Loki would still probably not want to stay in Asgard, likely even less than he did now. And it didn’t matter if I went with him or not, I still wanted him to be able to have the choice to leave. This was bigger than me. No matter the truth of his intentions, he had still been my friend, or pretended to be, and I didn’t have the heart to abandon him to his adoptive father’s mercy. Perhaps I should have sought him out instead of coming here to wait. But then, Odin might have caught on to the fact that I knew and then things could have gone a lot worse. No, it was better to wait here.

The shadows cast by the setting sun had grown long and thin by the time Loki showed up. He walked through the door, carefully leaving it slightly opened, his back to me. I closed the book I had been reading and he immediately tensed, though it had hardly made a sound.  
“This is a surprise.” He said, turning with a genuine smile on his face. The way to tell the difference between the real one and a fake one was whether or not the dimple he had just to the right of his lips deepened, “I wasn’t expecting you for at least another hour. Your potential candidates for ambassador must have been very decisive. Any prospects?”

I crossed my legs. Unsure of what to do with my hands, I folded them tightly and let them rest in my lap, “Not to my knowledge, no. I think Thor went to talk to a Lady Njarr? He sounded enthusiastic but he does for every name.”

“You didn’t accompany him?” A slight frown replaced the smile. By now he had realized something was off, and he took small, lingering steps towards the larger table to my left. The ring still sat on the smaller one on the right. If he had noticed, he did nothing to indicate so. He leaned against it. His proximity threw me off. I reclined in such a way that I was further from him, my elbow pressed against the armrest, “No. I didn’t.”

He didn’t bother asking why, just stared at me, waiting for an explanation. He hadn’t yet closed himself off, so I was easily able to read him. Hesitance, a bit of worry, curiosity; we had come to a place where he trusted me, and didn’t bother to hide himself away. This was why I didn’t feel angry, only scared. This is why I was comfortable enough to talk to him about what I had overheard. Where to begin, though?

“Did you-- did you give me back the ring so that you would have it in case you needed it? So that you could use it should, say, Odin, try to prevent you from doing something?” I didn’t dare go so far as to accuse him of wanting it to take the throne. That was Odin’s greatest fear, not mine, and I knew if I brought it up it could quickly deteriorate the trust we shared.

He pressed his lips into a thin line before answering, “Yes.”

While I hadn’t expected him to not say yes, the word still dealt a painful blow. 

I did my best not to let my voice quaver, “Because giving it to me prevented anyone from being suspicious of your intentions with it?”

“Yes.”

I looked away from him so that I could try to save face. This broke my heart. I had tried so very hard to be wary of him, to remember who he was and what he had done, all so I could prevent this, this moment right here where I realized that despite everything I felt for him, it was all a lie. He was what I had believed him to be the moment I had woken up with him in my room. What killed me the most was that it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if he was who everyone saw him as, who he saw himself as sometimes. I still loved him. I would still do what I could to protect him.

“Take it then. Odin knows who I am, and that we lied to him. He knows you only wanted the ring. He might even know you plan to leave. You should go before he tries to stop you.” I gestured to the ring weakly.

Moments passed. I didn’t hear him move, or see him take the ring. Rage started to bubble up inside of me, and I did my best to suppress it, “What are you waiting for?”

“I don’t want it.”

Disgusted, I rolled my eyes and turned to face him, my hand supporting my chin, “How many times do I have to tell you not to lie to me?”

He returned my look with a steady one of his own, “I don’t want it.” His voice was firm, unyielding, “Not if it means losing you.”

“Don’t say that to me.” My tears went unrestrained. There was no holding them back now. I stood up and walked a few paces away to give myself room to breathe. I turned back to him, my arms crossed protectively over my chest, “You can’t say that to me.”

He stayed where he was, “Why? I thought you wanted the truth.”

“Oh, you’re so full of shit. I can’t believe you have to make this more painful than it already is for me. Just take the ring and go!”

“I am not leaving without you.”

“I’m not going to be your fucking game piece anymore. I’m not putting that ring back on.”

“I’m not saying you have to.” 

“Then why in the hell would you want me to come with you?”

He paused, like he was uncertain about his next words. They came out soft, “Because I love you.”

My tears were a waterfall now. I knew I looked like a complete mess. I could feel my nose starting to run. “No you don’t.” I whispered, horrified.

He looked up at me through his dark lashes, “Yes, I do.”

“Why? Why would you say you brought me here for the ring then?”

He finally stood up from the table, coming to stand in front of me. He lifted his hands as though to cup my elbows, but then thought better of it, “Because I did bring you here for the ring. That was my plan, to begin with. You cared enough to risk your life to help me, you saw me as your friend. And I liked you; you were strong-willed, passionate, ambitious. The perfect alibi. I knew that if you had the ring, it would also be mine. Then,” He leaned his head down to try and catch my gaze. I did my best to avoid it, “we spent more time together, without a spell or a war hanging over our heads, and I realized that I had gotten myself into something that I wasn’t going to be able to get out of. And I was afraid.” 

That caught my attention. I unwilling looked up at him, “Why hide it? Why hide us from the guards? Because you were ashamed?"

“I hid my actions from the guards because they all answer directly to Odin. I needed to prevent him from believing I had any influence over you, prevent him from sending you away. I’m not ashamed of you, little bird, if anything I thought you would be ashamed of me.”

“No, h--”

“Do not start lying to me now. I know you are still wary of me because of the past and my portrayal in the movies you adore so much.”

Damn. He was right. I wiped away what was left of my tears and considered his words. It was a lot to take in. A minute passed and he took a deep, shuddering breath, “You don’t feel the same.” 

The expression that crossed his face was enough to pulverize what remained of the shattered bits of my heart. I felt my chest constrict achingly once, twice, three times, and then I did something I had never thought myself capable of. Going up on the tips of my toes and cradling his face in my hands, I brought my lips to his, and kissed him.


	20. Chapter 20

Just as quickly as I had come on to him, I backed off. My hands fell from his face; instead hovering over his chest, fingers slightly curled in, just barely skimming the fabric of his clothing.

“I’m-- I’m sorry.” I stuttered, staring directly ahead so as to avoid seeing the look on his face. I felt frozen to the spot. I wanted to move away, but at the same time it felt like every natural force that impacted the world was keeping me where I was. My shoulders were tense, my back stiff, and my feet rooted to the ground. Oh, I shouldn’t have done that. I never did that; never had the courage to do that. What if that had been the wrong thing to do? It hadn’t felt wrong.

He bent his head down and caught my lips in a second, stronger kiss that cleared my head of all thoughts, dubious ones included. His hands brushed along my cheeks and down to my waist, holding gently as though I might dissolve into thin air. I felt as though I could. The tension that had been building melted like a snowflake in the palm of your hand. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined a moment like this. 

_Okay_ , that was a lie, but I had truly never imagined that those dreams would come to fruition.

We pulled away after an indeterminable amount of time, foreheads and noses brushing, the air warm and every sound hushed. I struggled to catch my breath.

“I’m not sorry?” I tried after a moment, unsure of what was to happen now. I felt him smile in response, “You needn’t be.” Though he had already said the three words most needed to hear to reassure themselves of someone’s feelings for them, those were the three that sent relief through my system.

“However,” He brought one of his hands to my face.

“However?” I questioned, doing my best not to lean into his touch until after he said something that may or may not completely ruin the moment and make me regret the last five minutes.

“However, I do need to apologize.”

Oh? “Go on.”

He cocked his head to the side, a wry look on his face at the delight in my tone of voice. The setting sun backlit his outline, giving him a halo of sorts, “I failed to see how my actions would affect you, or rather, I chose to ignore it, and as a result, you were hurt. I’m sorry.” There was sincere pain in his words and earnestness in his wide green eyes. I knew him to be telling the truth.

I nodded slowly, glancing down at my sandals with giddiness before returning my gaze to him, “Thank you.”

A soft smile graced his face, relief and gratification coloring it. He ran his thumb along my bottom lip slowly, making it very hard to concentrate on anything other than the way his touch felt. “From now, on my intentions concerning you will be pure.”

Pure intentions? Every brush of his skin against mine made that harder and harder to believe. I tried to focus on his wording.

“Only— only concerning me?”

“Let’s not forget who I am.” He replied slyly.

I let out a breath, my amusement helping me slip out from under his charm. I took his hands in mine, “It’s really not all that hard not to, but I do appreciate the honesty.”

“I thought you might.”

I rolled my eyes good-naturedly, earning a brazen grin from him in return. Footsteps echoed in the hall outside and drew our attention to the slightly cracked door. As they faded into the distance, we turned back to each other, the spell broken. It was time to deal with the situation before us.

I cleared my throat, “Disregarding everything else I overheard Odin say, he does know what’s been going on. I’m afraid that he might know that you, we, want to leave as well.”

Loki pressed his lips together as he did when he was thinking, a crease appearing between his brows. He silently made his way over to the door and shut it carefully before sharing his thoughts, “I am in no way discrediting your concerns nor what you heard, but I have taken many a precaution. I suspect that he while he may know who you are and of the ring, that was information gleaned from observations of the events on Midgard and not from any here.”

“You’ve been hiding everything? What about the stable servants?” I began plucking at some of the embellishments on the sleeves of my dress. Doubt still hung like a gray haze over my mind. There was something we weren’t considering.

“They answer only to mother. They would not have spoken of what they saw. In any case, our discussion took place in total seclusion. No one else was around.”

Only us and perhaps the Landvæittir, though I didn’t think they’d say anything. 

“And even if someone had been around, I casted several charms to prevent anyone from overhearing.”

There hadn’t really been many creatures at all in the woods or fields outside of the Landvæittir. In fact, the only other creatures I had seen were the oddly colored ravens. The same ones that had been outside my window the night I hadn’t gone to the library. One black, one white. A look of pure horror must of crossed my face once it dawned on me, because Loki’s reaction was immediate.

“What?” He asked, concerned.

I ran both my hands through my hair, loosening a few pieces that had been pinned up, “Ravens. Doesn’t Odin have pet ravens who tell him everything?” I couldn’t believe it had taken me this long to recognize them.

His eyes immediately narrowed, “Huginn and Muninn, you’ve seen them?”

I nodded, “Outside my room and on our way back from the meadow.” 

He muttered what sounded like a curse under his breath, “If they have been following us then we may be in danger.”

“The spells wouldn’t work on them?”

“They are enchanted creatures. Their very presence has the ability to warp spells if proper precautions aren’t taken. My sources informed me they were off world, investigating the recent developments in Vanaheimr.”

Though he didn’t say it, I could tell that he was frustrated with himself for failing to prevent this. I chose to focus on the positive, on what we could still do. “We may still have time, but only if we pretend this conversation didn’t happen. Unless they’ve been listening in…?” I cast my gaze about as though I might catch sight of one of the feathered spies.

“No. The library is a safe place. Too many enchantments have been placed over it for those abominations to be able to distort them. What’s occurred here tonight is still just between us.”

“Are you certain?”

“Yes.”

That was a little less distressing, but now I feared leaving the safety of these book ladened walls, “What do we do?”

“There are still a few things I must handle here. So go back to your room tonight, act upset, gather your things out of sight of your windows,” I frowned. That would prove difficult, they took up half of one of the walls. “During your time with Thor, give him the ring, loudly tell him we were in an argument and that you do not want it anymore. That will hopefully convince Odin that we are no longer going to leave Asgard, and keep him from confronting either of us. The ring being back in his possession will keep him pacified for now.”

“That works perfectly, Thor overheard everything I did. I’ll just tell him you admitted to it all being the truth. It won’t even be a lie.”

“He overheard it all as well?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. After you talk to him, head back to your room as soon as possible. I will come to you and we will take a portal to Xandar from there.”

“... a portal? What happens if we end up somewhere other than Xandar?” I asked nervously. I didn’t mean to doubt his abilities, but of the three times Loki’s portals had been utilized without outside help, we had only been successful getting where we wanted to go twice. And the time I had created one with Heimdall’s help had ended disastrously. All I could think of was the woman’s screams as she had been vaporized. Overall, they made me hesitate.

“Would it be worse than staying here?”

“No. I don’t know.” I shrugged weakly, “It depends where we end up.” For some reason, images from the strange dreams I had had on two occasions arose unbidden.

He came back towards me, “If Odin believes me to be an influence over you, he will send you back to Midgard, perhaps even your reality, and likely soon. His patience for these games is running thin. I may not be capable of following.

“Do you want that?” He whispered.

I stared up at him, thinking of his smart remarks; the way he chuckled at my lame jokes; the passion of which he talked about the subjects that interested him; his gentle caresses and soft kisses. “No.” I sighed, “But what about Heimdall?”

“He will only try to stop us if Odin has instructed him to do so, and if that is the case we have bigger concerns… I promise you will be safe.”

I relented, though my worries remained uneased, “Okay.”

“Do you trust me?”

A loaded question. I knew I couldn’t hesitate and I didn’t miss a beat, “Yes.”

 

“Where were you yesterday? I came by your room to see how you were and you didn’t answer.” 

Thor and I sat in the dining hall. It was the largest room I had yet to see in the palace, and was always occupied by a least a dozen or so people, though this late in the morning it was mostly servants. Long wooden tables and benches provided ample seating. One side, similar to the room where we had spent time with the Warriors Three, was open to the outside. I supposed if the weather was always beautiful, there was no reason not to design it that way. I picked at my food nervously, “I-- uh, I didn’t really want to see… anyone.”

Not the right thing to say, especially after our conversation yesterday. He desperately wanted to be a friend, and me constantly ignoring his offers of help was hurting his feelings. He nodded, setting down his mug of beer and staring at his plate.

I sighed, reaching forward and lightly touching the back of his hand, “Thor, I’m sorry. I know I haven’t been a very good friend to you.”

“No, it is I who has failed you. I have not considered how living here for so long without your friends and family has affected you. I have only spent time with you focused on this facade, leaving you only Loki. Surely, it is difficult.”

I ran my tongue along my teeth, trying not to give anything away. He continued on without noticing anything, “For your remaining time here, I wish to invite you to spend your evenings with me.” He smiled brightly, then faltered for a moment, “Not in any improper way--”

I held up a hand awkwardly, “I get what you mean, and thank you, but I think I’ll be fine.”

“How do you feel after what happened yesterday?” His voice was soft. This was the moment. I set my fork down and reached a hand into the pocket that held the ring, feigning a troubled expression. I felt bad for tricking him, even if what I was going to say wasn’t a lie.

“Um, it was...” I paused, trying to weave together as much of the truth as possible, “I was very upset. I went to confront Loki, which is why I wasn’t available to talk.”

He became very serious, “What happened?”

“We argued. I told him I didn’t want to be a part of his games anymore. And, uh, I left.”

There was a lot missing from that story, and I felt it was very obvious. God, I wasn’t great at this. I avoided eye contact with him, though he lowered his head to try and catch my gaze.

“That is all that happened?”

My adrenaline spiked and the back of my neck prickled, “...That is the very basic rundown.”

“He did not harm you, did he?”

Oh, that was what he was worried about? I was almost relieved. I thought for sure that he had known what had actually happened, which would have been both bad for our plan and extremely embarrassing. Although, it was concerning that he thought Loki would hurt me.

“What? No.” I replied quickly. He squinted at me suspiciously.

“No, Thor, I promise. While him admitting to that stuff being the truth did hurt, he did nothing else to harm me.”

He stared at me a few seconds longer before accepting my words. 

“Well,” He said after some time, “you may be happy to know that you will be able to return to Midgard soon, then.”

“What?”

He took a large drink from his mug, “Oh yes, as it turns out Lady Njarr was very happy to accept the position.”

“Oh, that’s great!” I said with genuine enthusiasm. His face lit up, glad to hear the happiness in my voice. Little did he know my excitement was totally centered on finding someone to be an ambassador and not on going home. 

I paused, glancing down the table to where a servant was busy clearing away dirty dishes, then checking the rafters above for any winged rats. “And, we’re still going through with this whole sham even though Odin knows why I’m really here?” I asked, lowering my voice and leaning in.

Thor followed suit, his long hair nearly touching his food, “There is no reason not to. I think it would be beneficial. And we have already put all the work in, we might as well go through with it.”

Well, this was working out much better than I ever could have planned. Although Odin knew most of the secrets we’d tried to keep from him, we had caught on in time and were getting the hell out of here. And I’d even successfully completed my task as a fake emissary! 

“Alright, awesome. Are we going to go meet with her today and plan out the details?”

“Unfortunately, she had some business to attend to in choosing her successor. She informed me of what she was willing to take on and we are to handle the details ourselves, if you are up for it?”

He was so considerate. I wished I could have told him the whole truth. And it was too bad about Lady Njarr, I was actually curious about meeting her. She was the first Asgardian who had shown any interest in taking the role. It was a shame I was leaving before I could be introduced to her.

“I think it would be nice to focus on something else.”

 

We went about the rest of our day, planning out how much time Lady Njarr would spend on Earth, where, and who she would work with. I convinced Thor that the best person to talk to was Tony. He was confused as to why she wouldn’t immediately delegate talks with SHIELD, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him that SHIELD as we knew it wouldn’t be around for much longer. A few years, tops; I couldn’t exactly remember when it fell apart with the emergence of Hydra. I juggled with the question of whether I should have warned the others about it, but it had slipped my mind while I was there. It had been overwhelming, interacting with them, and I had been preoccupied with trying to make sure Loki didn’t murder any more people than he already had. I hoped they’d understand.

Every minute spent with the burly alien god was another minute spent with the ring burning a hole in my pocket. I wanted to stand by my resolution to never wear it again, even if Loki had made it clear that our… relationship no longer had anything to do with it. And the plan was to give it to Thor. It was just turning out to be a lot harder to give up than I imagined, especially since I was nowhere near as emotionally charged as I had been the night before. Still, as Thor and I readied to part ways, I knew it had to be done. After a little hesitation, I pulled the ring out of my pocket and held it out to him. He seemed confused.

“I don’t feel comfortable having it anymore. And if I’m going home, I won’t need it.”

“Will you not be rejoining the Avengers?”

I stared at him a moment, “I thought when you said I’d be going back, you meant my reality. I mean, that is where I belong, isn’t it? I think I’ve already served my purpose here.” There was a slight bitterness to my words that I hadn’t intended, but stemmed from the annoyance I’d felt last night feeling like a game piece. 

“Of course, I was just under the impression that you quite enjoyed being a part of the team, and that, if given the choice, you would stay.” He still hadn’t accepted the ring, leaving my hand out in the air between us awkwardly. I didn’t retract it though. If I did, I may not offer it a second time.

I bit the inside of my bottom lip, trying to figure out the best way to phrase my next statement. It was heartening to learn that Thor seemed to want me to stay, and would be willing to overlook my possession of the ring despite his father obviously disapproving. Again, he proved to be an extremely caring individual whose feelings I did not want to hurt. Thinking about it further, if things between Loki and I had fallen through, would I have stayed? With the ring, the answer would be yes; a decision likely motivated by pure spite (spite had a tendency to be one of my strongest motivators.) Without the ring, it was unclear; but luckily that wasn’t something I needed to consider.

“I would love to be a part of the team, to stay and help out.” I answered, because it was absolutely true. Though I was staying in this reality, it wasn’t going to be on Midgard, and it wasn’t going to be as some kind of superhero. Not to say I was complaining about the reason I was staying. I _definitely_ was not. “In fact, it’s been my biggest dream for years. But I’ve done what was expected of me, and I think everyone has made it very clear how they feel about this.” I held the ring up further, pinched between my thumb and pointer finger, then gestured to myself.

“It’s best if I just return it.”

He slowly took the ring, rolling it across his palm, blue eyes troubled, “I think you have done good with it thus far, and that you would have continued to do good with it into the future.”

His kindness killed me. “Thank you,” a pause, “I like to think I might have too.”

We bade each other good night, his goodbye a lot more permanent than he realized. Although, perhaps not, as he, strangely, hugged me quickly before taking off down the hall. Confused, I assumed it was due to the nature of our conversation and headed back to my room in a controlled rush, trying not to look suspicious. 

I made it back with no problem whatsoever, and sat nervously on my bed, staring at my packed bag that was resting just out of sight of the windows. It had taken so long to get back here, did Loki think I had blown him off? My time with Thor had lasted a lot longer than I had anticipated. I had tried to cut our duties short, but he had insisted on going through with all of them. I suspected it was because he didn’t want me to be alone after what he thought had happened between Loki and I, which, though inconvenient, made my heart melt. I waited impatiently for over an hour. Was he blowing me off? Just as I wondered whether or not I should go looking for him (a ridiculous notion as I had no idea where he could be, or even where his room was), somebody knocked on the door lightly.

I shot up out of bed, shouldered my bag, and flung the door open, not even considering the possibility of it being somebody other than Loki. Imagine my surprise when I looked down to see Aufryn, the maidservant who had been assigned to me.

“Oh, um, hi Auf--” I peered closer at her. There was something off about the outline of her figure.

“May I come in?” She asked and it was then that I realized who it was.

“Of course.” I said, playing along. I stepped back and quickly shut the door when the opportunity presented itself. I turned back just in time to see Loki shed his disguise.

“Did you do that because they are onto us or just to be safe?”

“Just to be safe.” He had a leather bag draped over his shoulder. He seemed a little frazzled, “Did you embellish the story of what happened last night when retelling it to Thor?”

I was taken aback, “No. I told him the bare minimum. I didn’t want to lie if I didn’t have to. Why?”

“The reason I am late is because he came to my room and gave me a long lecture on the way I’ve apparently treated you.” He sounded annoyed, but I thought it was the funniest thing I’d heard in a long time. I stifled my laughter, “Did he really?”

He gave me a look and began drawing the now familiar symbols around the doorway, “Yes.”

Now I felt even worse about hiding all of this from Thor. I hoped to have to chance to explain myself to him sometime in the future. “Hey, you should be glad he cares so much. You know he told me once that if we were ever courting, that he would approve.”

He paused, though his focus remained trained on the drawings in front of him, “Did he?”

I nodded eagerly, “He said anything that makes you happy is good enough for him.”

He was silent for several moments, his hand frozen in place, “Well… I needn’t his approval to begin with.”

I gave him a look that he ignored, but I let it go. I knew that Thor saying what he did meant a lot to Loki, even if he didn’t admit it. If he wanted to keep pretending as though he hated his brother, I’d let him. For now.

I scanned the room, feeling like this was all a little too easy, “I’m, uh, surprised that this is going so well.”

“Did you doubt our plan?”

“To be completely honest--” 

“Aren’t you always?”

I made a face before continuing, “I guess I was just thinking something would go wrong. That’s always what happens.” I grinned brightly, “But we’d eventually get away, of course.”

He looked down his nose at me with a playful smirk, “You mean what happens in fiction?”

“Sometimes this genuinely still feels like fiction.” I said, leaning forward and putting some sass behind my words.

“Why do you say that?”

I shrugged, trying very hard not to blush, “I think I’ve mentioned this more than once, but some of the things that’ve happened to me these past few months have been pretty hard to believe.”

“Well,” His knuckles grazed my cheek, “it is real, so you had better start believing.”

Talking to him like this, with a tender quality to each of our voices and a knowledge brought about by the events of the night, was the driving force in wondering if this was all a hallucination or fever dream. Each further action only made me ponder further how this had all come to be.

“I’m trying.” I bit back a smile, “I really did think Odin would catch on though. I spent all day worried for no reason. We probably could have stayed longer and not have been so rushed.”

“Oh, I think not.” He went back to scribbling the symbols with a practiced hand. 

“Why?”

“Let’s just say he will be very upset when he finds out about Muninn and Huginn.”

While the two hadn’t exactly done me any favors, being an indirect cause of an animal’s death did not sit right with me. I grimaced, not daring to ask the question of what had happened to them as I knew I wouldn’t like the answer.

It only took a couple of minutes for the portal to be ready. I had to confess, it looked a lot more functional than the ones before. While it was still a deep black void that sucked up all the light in the room, it didn’t throw off sparks. It was steadier, if that made any sense.

“Have you been practicing?” 

A grim expression passed over his face, “My time with the Tesseract was educational.” There seemed to be a lot more behind that statement that he was not sharing. I reached forward and took his hand, intertwining our fingers, giving him a reassuring squeeze. He gave a small smile.

“Let’s go.”

 

I stood on one of the many nicely paved sidewalks that transversed the city, leaning against the concrete pillar that held up a section of the walkway above me. For the first time in awhile, I felt more out of place wearing Asgardian clothing than I did if I had been wearing my normal clothes. Although, the leather leggings, armored shirt, and long jacket were much less conspicuous than the dresses I had been given to wear in the palace. I was grateful Loki had brought them for me. Though he had done it out of concern about me needing armor and not over fitting in. The people of Xandar, Xandarians?, didn’t dress much differently from humans. Their style made me think of the extras in science fiction movies; clothing and hair similar to what people from Earth expected future, space-faring humans to wear. I picked at my nails and carefully watched everyone in the vicinity as they walked through the brightly lit square in front of me. I had never seen any beings outside of Asgardians and humans, so it was weird and thrilling to see less humanoid life strolling the well-groomed grounds. Especially since the more human looking beings around them paid little to no attention to how different they looked. Their presence was commonplace. I tried not to stare in order to keep a low profile, but it was a bit difficult.

I shifted my stance, tucking my hands into my pockets. It had been several days since we had left Asgard, and the plan was to leave immediately after Loki finished the business he had to take care of here. His intention was to acquire a device that would prevent anyone from being able to track us, or, namely, magic, especially the kind we used to travel. While Frigga had proven herself to be our ally, she had to do as the King demanded, and that meant watching for any portals created. It was much too risky to hope she would skew the information gleaned from her searches. Better safe than sorry.

Movement in my peripheral vision caught my attention and I turned to see two very familiar figures chatting not too far from me. I couldn’t hide my surprise nor my excitement, and couldn’t resist the temptation to move closer so that I might overhear their conversation.

“Would you stop complaining? I thought you liked Xandar.” 

“I am Groot.”

“Too sunny? You’re a tree!”

“I am Groot.”

“Yeah, well, if we get those half a billion units, you won’t be sayin’ that.” Rocket hissed as he looked down at the tablet-like device in his hands. It was surreal, more so, I thought, than seeing Asgard for to first time, watching words come out of a raccoon’s mouth. Groot leaned over him, seeming mopey and not at all thrilled to be there. I wondered what they were doing here. It wasn’t yet time for them to confront Peter Quill, was it? That was a couple of years after the first Avengers movie, and there was no way that much time had passed, was there? No, that didn’t matter. I had to keep reminding myself that the movies were not concrete. Things had happened that hadn’t on the big screen, meaning the timeline could be different too. If my presence wasn’t enough evidence of that, than Ruth’s certainly was. But it was hard not to compare them. It was like reading a beloved book and then watching it’s screen adaptation. My mind turned to Earth, I wondered how Ruth, and the rest of them, were doing. What did they do in their off time? And when did SHIELD collapse again? I couldn’t remember. Not that it was at all important to me at this moment, on a planet very far away. Especially since we wouldn’t be going back to Earth any time in the foreseeable future. That was the first place Odin would look.

Since there was a possibility of this being the moment when Rocket, Groot, Peter, and Gamora all met, I glanced around further, trying to see if the latter two were anywhere to be found. It would be awfully exciting to have not only been there to see the Avengers united for the first time, but also most of the Guardians of the Galaxy. 

“Can’t believe they’re offerin’ half a billion units for this guy, I mean look at him! But I guess those rich Asgardian assholes have some change to spare in that big golden city of theirs, eh?”

Wait, what? I turned back to them. They were searching for a man who Asgardians had placed a bounty out for? My heart sped up and I crept a little closer, hoping to figure out who, exactly, they were looking for. Tiptoeing around the pillar closest to them, I stuck to what little shade it provided on a planet that had three suns. Groot was right, it was much too sunny.

“Says there might be a Midgardian girl with him. What the hell is a Midgardian?”

“I am Groot.”

“That’s what Asgardians call Terrans? Conceited dicks have to have a different word for everything. Makes things so much more confusing than they have to be. Anyway, she’s worth the same as him, so if we bag the both, we’ll have hit the jackpot.”

“I am Groot.”

Well now I definitely knew they were looking for us. Shit. I couldn’t believe that Odin had put out a bounty for us. Did he not have the resources to come and find us himself? Ridiculous indeed. I hurried away from them and towards the small building Loki had entered not too far away. He had insisted I stay out in the square where I could keep an eye on things, I was glad now that I had reluctantly agreed. As I sped across the crowded area, now only several feet from the entryway, I peered back briefly to see if they had noticed me and ran straight into someone.

“Ope, I’m so sorry--” I looked up to see Loki, and sighed, glad I had found him so quickly. He rested his hands on my shoulders. I noticed one of them held a small metal device, “What’s the matter?”

“Odin placed a bounty on us and I saw two bounty hunters looking for us and its funny because I actually know who they are.”

“You do? Who are they? Where are they?” His eyes skimmed the crowd over my head. I turned around to point them out to him, but they were gone. I found it odd, because Groot stood so much taller than everyone that he should have been easy to find.

“It’s two members of the Guardians of the Galaxy, err, well, they’re not a part of the team yet but they will be. One’s a raccoon and the other is a sentient tree, aaand they seem to have completely disappeared.”

“Guardians of the Galaxy? That is the most pretentious name I have ever heard.” He retorted, “And what is a raccoon?”

A woman with deeply red colored skin passing by us screamed as she was suddenly hit by a flying net that closed around her and slammed her into the ground.

“Groot you idiot, what’re you doing?”

We both looked up to see Rocket and Groot standing about thirty feet away. I dipped my head in the direction of Rocket, who was holding a large, smoking gun that I assumed had launched the net, “That’s a raccoon.”

We took off running, pushing past the people who had stopped to gawk at the scene. Once we got far enough into the mix of people, Loki grabbed my wrist, slowing our pace to a casual walk. 

“You’ve hidden us?” I asked in a terse whisper, keeping my head down and noticing the slight glimmer where his hand met my arm. As I watched, pale turned the red that seemed to be one of the more popular skin tones for the Xandarians.

“Yes.”

“Very nice.”

“What’s next?”

“We find the nearest door,” he cast his now brown eyes about, looking for the nearest building, “and,” he held up the device with a wicked grin, “get out of here.”

“Perfect.”

The nearest door wasn’t all that far away, just a quick walk up a flight of stairs and across one of the elevated pathways to a short concrete shop. We headed up. It was difficult not turning and looking to see if Rocket and Groot were still around, and I could feel the back of my neck prickle. In an effort to distract myself, I turned to talking.

“So, now that we can finally get the hell out of here, where do you wanna go?”

“How does Vanaheimr sound?”

“That’s the one with the huge waterfalls and super complex language?”

He chuckled, “Yes.”

“I’d love to. Although,” I quipped, slyly sliding my gaze his way, “I hope you’ve memorized all thirty seven verb conjugations, because I can only speak to middle aged females of the mid to upper class about things from less than seventy-five years ago.”

He gave me a cheeky grin that made my stomach flutter, “Well, luckily for you that is all one needs to be able to do.” The thought ‘I kissed him’ kept pushing its way to the forefront of my mind, overshadowed only by ‘he kissed me!’, which was the more insane of the two. I tried to keep my cool and deliver a witty reply, which was way harder than it sounded, “Great, then I’ll be the sole translator and you can’t complain when we end up in… prison… or something.” Awful.

“Clever.” He said, though not in a mean way.

“Hey, give me a break, it’s-- hard to talk to you when you look at me like that.”

He slowed to a stop, giving me the exact look I was talking about. A mix of delight and pleasure, like I was one of the best things he’d ever seen, which was hard to believe. “Look at you like what?”

I twisted my hands together, flustered, “Like that!”

“I am sure I have no idea what you are talking about.” He replied, knowing exactly what I was talking about. I was debating whether or not I should indulge his feigned ignorance when he was suddenly yanked off his feet and pulled up into the air upside down by a limb made of a tangled assortment of branches. Groot had halfway climbed up to the pathway from the ground below by growing his arms and legs. His head had just cleared the railing, and on his shoulder stood Rocket, holding up his tablet triumphantly.

“Ha! Nice try, but we’re a bit smarter than that.” 

“I am Groot.”

The tablet that they used to identify anyone with a bounty on their head must have been able to see through any magic disguises as well, which, I had to admit, was impressive. Loki dropped the device into my hands from his position eight feet above my head, “Run, I’ll find you!”

I took off, nearly tripping as I ripped my feet from the grasp of Groot’s branches that had started curling around my ankles. Loki’s illusion dropped, shocking some of the onlookers around me as I barreled past them towards the building. I didn’t know what I’d do when I got there, it wasn’t like I could create the portal myself, and I definitely couldn’t control where it would go. How would Loki follow me? I heard of rush of air behind me and turned just in time to see one of Rocket’s damned nets flying towards me. I threw myself to the ground, the device slipping from my fingers, but managing to avoid the net. 

“Your aim sucks!” I shouted back at him as I scrambled to grab the device. Unfortunately, a passerby distracted by some sort of communicator/phone thing kicked it out of my reach and towards Rocket. The raccoon picked it up curiously, “Ooo, what’s this?”

I climbed to my feet, staring him down in the most intimidating manner I could, “Give it back.” 

“I don’t think so.” He replied.

No device, no Loki, no point in running away any longer. Time to see if I could actually utilize the few tricks Loki had hurriedly taught me in the little time we’d had between now and our departure from Asgard. I twisted my index and pointer finger together under my middle, curling the latter inwards as far as I could and pointing at myself, before flicking my wrist forwards and crossing my middle over my pointer.

“Þoka.” I whispered. A plume of thick fog enveloped Rocket. A thrill of glee went through me at the sight. In prior practices, I’d only managed half the volume that was rising before me now. Magic had turned out not to be a natural talent of mine, which was disappointing. But Loki had said it was a skill anyone could learn at least the basics of, so long as they worked hard at it. The most interesting thing to learn about it was there was no set way of performing magic. It centered almost entirely on the intention behind the spell, rather than the physical movements or words used to conjure it. A person could use whatever they liked, so long as they were convinced enough it would work. Which was why there were some practices that followed and taught a strict set of rules; it was easier to believe something would work if you believed there was only one particular way of doing it alongside a set of instructions. I wouldn’t have admitted it, but while I used the words Loki suggested, I copied my form from the tv show _The Magicians_ , because I thought their hand movements were super intricate and cool.

Realizing the spell wouldn’t stay in place much longer, I ran around a coughing and swearing Rocket, snatching the device from his hand on the way. Groot had Loki completely wrapped in his arm in order to keep his daggers away from his person. He also had a leafy limb covering Loki’s mouth so that he couldn’t speak.

I came to a stop before him. I didn’t want to hurt Groot or Rocket, especially not Groot, so I considered what the best way was to deal with him.

“Groot.” I said firmly, attracting the tree’s attention away from the black-haired man who was trying to stab him. Once his focus was on me, I put a hand up to indicate I wouldn’t hurt him, “Put him down.”

I thought he might have frowned at me, though it was hard to tell, “I am Groot.”

Guess I should have considered learning his language. Too late now.

“Put him down. Please. We’re not the bad guys, the people after us are.”

His arm lowered a bit. I glanced over my shoulder where Rocket was still struggling in the fog. It was my understanding that it muted all of your senses, preventing you from escaping. It was already beginning to dissipate.

“I am Groot.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t understand you.”

He gestured to Loki, who was still struggling, and then made a sawing motion. I noticed the cut marks on his arm. They were leaking sap. “I am Groot.”

That I might have understood, “I know. He’s not very nice sometimes, but I promise it’s because he just really doesn’t want to go back to the people who are looking for us. They’re mean to him.”

Loki stopped trying to wiggle out of Groot’s grip and gave me an incredulous look. I gave him one that hopefully conveyed ‘shut up and just go with it’.

“Please, please, just put him down.”

Groot’s slow gaze moved between us before he retracted his branches, dropping Loki to the ground below. I ran to him as he jumped to his feet and held up a knife threateningly. Groot made a face as he stared down at him. I grabbed Loki’s arm, “No, no, no, no, no, let’s not stab the nice tree who just let you go. Let’s just leave.” 

Loki relented under my touch, the blade disappearing, “Do you have the device?”

I held it up.

“Let’s go.”

I tossed a thank you over my shoulder to Groot and we hurried past Rocket just as the last of the fog faded, “Groot, what the hell?”

“I am Groot.”

“Not so fast.” Rocket said, holding up his gun and stopping us in our tracks. He spun the barrel and it turned another color before clicking loudly into place. Loki tapped his knife against his palm, and it lengthened, gleaming viciously under the sun as he held it defensively. I crossed my arms in front of me, then whipped them down, flicking my wrists so that a dagger appeared in both hands. It was the coolest move I knew, even if I didn’t fully understand the mechanics of how it worked and had only meager knowledge of short range combat. If it meant anything, Loki had promised to teach me more.

“So you gotta a few tricks up your sleeve. How’s it gonna fare against this baby?” He hefted the gun higher. This was really starting to piss me off.  
Loki dropped his weapon and took one of the daggers from my hands, “Let’s see, shall we?” He launched it Rocket with cool confidence before I could even object to him snatching it away from me. Just as Rocket pulled the trigger, the dagger struck, burying itself in the barrel.

“Uh oh.”

The gun went off, but whatever energy was meant to be aimed at us pulsed backwards, forcing Rocket to drop it as it exploded into pieces in a bright flash. The explosion was enough to crack the pathway in half, leaving us on one side and them on the other.

“Holy shit, how did you do that?” I asked in disbelief.

“I enchanted your knives to always hit their target.”

“What?”

He put his hands up slightly, shrugging a little, as though he wasn’t at fault for anything, “I didn’t want you to miss.”

“Hey, that was my favorite gun!” Rocket yelled from the ground, leaning up on one arm from where he’d fallen. We both turned to leave with a smile, but only got a few feet before Groot’s hand whipped out and stole the device from me, crushing it right before our very eyes.

“We needed that!” I yelled, gearing up to walk as close as I dared to the gap between us and try my own hand at throwing the daggers.

“Yeah, well I needed my gun so now we’re even!” Rocket retorted. Loki started to march forwards but I placed a hand on his chest, noticing the ships in the distance, “The Nova Core is coming, we have to leave.”

His body was tense under my hand, his heart beating fast and his lungs heaving, but he stopped.

“That’s right, listen to your girlfriend dickface.”

“I’m going to kill him.”

“No, you’re not. Murder isn't okay and he helps stop Ronan from destroying this planet in a few years.” I tried to ignore Rocket’s taunts as I guided Loki quickly away from the site, “Plus, we don’t have time.”

“It wouldn’t take long.”

“I know,” I patted him reassuringly, “but we need to find a way out of here. What’s our plan B?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, “Stealing a ship.”

“I can work with that.”


	21. Chapter 21

It was two weeks into our big space adventure before I noticed he wasn’t sleeping.

To be fair, the ship we ended up with had two sleeping compartments, and we had each laid claim to one of them after some very thorough cleaning. We both liked having our own space, and I just wasn’t yet comfortable with the idea of sharing, which he respected.

So it took me several nights of waking up and catching him still in the cockpit or sitting area behind it, his head buried in a book he’d somehow brought or his eyes watching the distant stars, for me to realize something was off.

“Hey.” I whispered, though we were the only two living creatures in who knew how many miles of empty space, so there was no reason to keep my voice down. I took in the view that never seemed any less magnificent as I padded barefoot down a short set of steps into the cockpit. The “sky” around us was always dark, save for the thousands of distant points of light and the occasional colorful, though faraway, nebula. It was beautiful. He turned his head from where it was propped up on his one bent knee, a small smile brightening his features for a moment, “Awake at this hour? Quite the surprise.” So was he.

“I could say the same to you.” I replied, coming to stand in front of the windows that made up the nose of the ship. It was nearly impossible to tell that we were even moving, the only tell being the slight hum coming from the engine. It was entirely different from being on a boat, which, for some ridiculous reason, had been what I was expecting. It was more like the way you felt in between sleeping and consciousness, when you weren’t totally aware of your body; a sort of floating feeling. Peaceful.

“What’re you doing?” 

“Making certain we stay on course. We should reach Vanaheimr in a day or two.”

I crossed my arms, “Funny, that’s what you were doing several hours ago.”  
“It is a job that demands constant supervision.”

“Even on autopilot?” I asked, raising a brow. He glanced between me and the controls, his lips pressed into a thin line, and let a long breath out through his nose. At this point he was likely regretting having taught me the basics of how to run the ship, although he had yet to let me actually steer it.

“No.” 

“I know you haven’t been sleeping.”

He stared out into the abyss for a long time, his eyes distant and troubled. What started as a small concern for him grew into a much larger one.

Finally, he spoke, softly, an internal struggle evident, “I can’t.”

I stared at him for a time, considering how best to approach this. My biggest worry was that I wouldn’t have a solution to whatever problem he was facing. My second biggest, though irrational, worry was that I was a part of the problem. However, it didn’t matter whether that was the case or not. What mattered was helping him.

“Tell me.” I prompted gently, not wanting to push too hard but knowing he needed some encouragement. 

Another lengthy silence passed. He didn’t quite seem capable of meeting my gaze, “I have never told you what happened after you released me, have I?”

“No.” I had been intensely curious, but had never had the gall to ask him; with the exception of our conversation after the Battle of New York. Thor had interrupted me before I had spoken, though, for which I was grateful. Every other time it had come to mind, I had held my tongue. Whatever had happened had led to him being manipulated and forced under the control of the mind stone. It hadn’t been worth asking if it meant running the risk of bringing up terrible memories.

“The portal my mother and Heimdall helped you open was to transport me back to Asgard, a place I did not wish to return to, so as I traveled I attempted to manipulate my destination. A foolish mistake. I unwillingly placed myself within Thanos’s domain, the Sanctuary. Exactly the place I was to avoid at all costs.”

He shook his head, a dark and pained laugh escaping him, “As if dealing with Odin and Thor had not been something I had handled for many years without fail. As if it were so unbearable. Had I any idea of what I would face, I would have gladly gone to live again with them. And even more gladly, I might have stayed where I was.

“But I was desperate; to find myself, to redeem myself, to fix my image, to acquire a place of my own. And that very desperation was what Thanos used against me; molding it into something he could wield with tortures both physical and mental, pains I had never known existed.” His voice was at a whisper, like he was ashamed or still afraid or somewhere in between.   
I sat down on the edge of the other piloting seat, my feet dangling above the shiny metal floor, my hands clasped so tightly in my lap that the raised tendons created shadowed valleys. The anger that was growing with me was not the burning rage I had felt times before, but a cold, dark creature that instilled fear in my heart with how intense it was becoming.

“I know not how much time passed, but my estimates would put it at a little over a year. Under the influence of the mind stone, you are not always aware of everything that goes on around you, or everything that you do. It is a complex thing, and I have very little doubt I will ever fully understand all that it is capable of, but I do know that it takes the strongest feelings and intentions within you and magnifies them so that you cannot resist their pull. 

“The resentment and indignation I felt towards my adoptive family and even myself motivated me to do things of the highest level of cruelty. I saw not the pain I caused in others, only the awe I hoped to earn once I had become ruler of Midgard.”

His own frustration was building; his jaw tense, his brows drawn in. Each word began to have a biting steel edge to it. He finally looked at me, “There were moments of clarity, the most notable being your arrival. I think that the shock of your presence after so long, the confusion as to how you had come to be there, was nearly enough. Then you mentioned how and why you had been sent and that hatred built within me once more. One more person I thought I could trust working against me for the sake of others. I tried so hard to hate you as I had before, but all of my anger turned on me. I despised myself all the more for becoming exactly who I had told you I wouldn’t. And the look in your eyes when you saw me as the monster they all saw me as only strengthened the stone’s influence.”

“Loki…” I whispered, heartbroken.

“Do not feel sympathy and do not feel guilt. Your reaction was justified.” He said, weakly holding up his hand, “As you showed more compassion, the clarity strengthened. There was a moment so clear it could have ended there. On the ship, as it was falling, I fully realized myself for but a moment and yet, I balked from it. I chose to slip back under the heavy blanket the stone casted over me, because I thought it easier to allow myself to be used. I was afraid of the consequences should I fail. I was afraid of being seen as weak or pitiful. It was easier to fall back into the darkness that had overcome me and be the monster than it was to live with the harm I had caused. I sent you back so that you would be out of harm’s way, out of my way, and I continued down the path that I was forced on willingly. It was undeniably selfish of me, and truly the weaker and more pitiful choice.”

His anger was directed at himself, and so I did not feel concern about approaching him. I stood slowly, hesitantly making my way over to him as I processed all he had shared with me, “That is why you’re struggling to sleep? You feel guilty about what happened in New York?”

He stared up at me for a moment, then away again into the blackness of the space that surrounded us.

“Yes, that is part of the reason.”

“What’s the other part?”

Once again, his answer was slow to arrive. This time something akin to fear colored it in place of anger, “The longer we are outside of the enchantments used to make Asgard safe, the more the memories of that year in the Sanctuary plague me. They have strengthened, and become so intense at times that I am not sure if they truly are just dreams or if they are real; If they may be the work of Thanos in an attempt to punish me for failing him. I cannot rid myself of them and we cannot go back.”

I pressed my lips into a thin line, and came around to the front of his chair. Whoever had owned the ship before us must have been several feet taller than either of us, as the seats were outlandishly big. Slouched though he was, Loki’s boots barely brushed the ground. However, this had its perks, as I could easily climb into the seat and sit next to him, which I did, turning so that I could face him fully, my back pressed up against the armrest and my legs pressed against his.

“Listen to me,” I began, gently cradling his face in my hands, “the guilt you are having over what you’ve done is wonderful. Bad people, monsters, they don’t feel guilt because they don’t see anything wrong with their choices and they don’t care even if they do. Only good people feel remorse, and they use it to better themselves so that they don’t make the same mistakes again. This right here is you trying to come to terms with what you’ve done and trying to figure out how to do better. It doesn’t matter if you did have moments where you could’ve stopped. You were afraid, traumatized. You’d been through hell and you didn’t want to go back. There are more righteous people who have done the same, sometimes they’ve done even worse. You are a good person, and you are deserving of sympathy whether you want it or not.

“As for the dreams, I hope that they are a byproduct of your guilt, and that they’ll fade as you come to terms with what you’ve been through and what you’ve done. But if they aren’t, I will do everything in my power to help you overcome them.”

He bent his head forward, resting it in the crook of my neck. His breath was warm on my collarbone and his arms were wrapped so tightly around me that I was nearly sitting on him. I returned the embrace, laying my cheek upon his head and staring out at the stars. My fingers ran through the ends of his hair. I hoped my advice had helped him, and based on his reaction I thought that perhaps they had. I only wondered what it would take to give him peace of mind.

After several minutes, he spoke and I could feel each word as it was formed, “Your heart is beating very fast.”

I could have laughed, “Yes, well, you do that to me.”

He reached upwards and pulled one of my hands away from his head, placing it instead on his chest. It took me a few seconds, but then I felt it. Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump. His heart beating just as rapidly as mine. I turned my face, hiding my smile in his hair though he could not see it regardless.

More time passed. It was hard to tell without a clock or a sky to show how much, but enough that I had begun to feel drowsy. His breathing had evened out and become so slow that I suspected he was asleep. Though, I wasn’t sure given that his head still rested on my shoulder and I dared not move to see for fear of waking him.

“Sometimes the dreams include you.” He whispered, startling me a bit.

“What happens in them?” I asked quietly.

Only silence. His saying that prompted half-forgotten visions of my own dreams to the surface. It had been a long time since I had thought of them. Even longer since I’d had one.

“I’ve had dreams involving you.” A rock pinged against the side of the ship, bouncing off into the void, “Some of them are terrifying.”

Continued silence. I went on.  
“There’s almost always a sense of urgency, like something terrible is about to happen and we’re trying our hardest to prevent it but it comes nonetheless. Thanos is there a lot of the time, although what he’s trying to achieve I never know. Whenever he’s there my thoughts are always centered on you, and the fear I feel is like nothing I’ve ever encountered before. Sometimes you’re fighting on his side, but never completely. You always have your own agenda. In one of them I try to go up against him and you pull me away, telling me that I need to leave, that it’s not safe.” I trail off because he shifts, sitting up so that he can look at me directly.

“Are we standing in some sort of concrete lot, outside a building, with very green grass surrounding us along with a few short buildings?”

My eyes widened with surprise, “Yes.”

He cocked his head slightly to the side, “And you say to me that neither of us are safe?”

“You’ve had the same dream?”

He nodded once, solemnly, “I believe so.”

“What does it mean? That maybe that’s the future or something?” That didn’t feel quite right, but I couldn’t think of any other possible explanation.

“I’m not certain, but I know that it does not feel like the future. More like…” He paused, thinking, a crease forming between his brows, “I cannot explain it. Perhaps what may have happened? Had we made other choices?”

“Or.... perhaps things that have happened to the versions of us who did make those choices.” I said, and felt a heaviness, like I’d just spoken of something undeniably true.

“You are suggesting the other realities?”

“Yeah. But that wouldn’t make sense, would it? Only Heimdall can see them.”

“That’s not entirely accurate.”

I frowned, “The movies. The people who’ve written them. They could see. And, I guess, I did too.” Our accidental stop when trying to get to this reality had proven that much. I still regretted not reading further.

“So it is not that far fetched to believe these visions of ours to be insights into our other lives.” He concluded.

“Wish Heimdall could confirm whether this is the truth. Maybe one day there’ll be a chance to ask him.” I sighed and ran a hand over my face, “God, I hope we don’t end up like them because they’re always in some pretty dire situations.”

A grim look passed like a shadow over his face, and I watched him warily.

“... What have you seen?”

His eyes bounced from me, to the window, to where one of my legs was draped over his. I waited patiently. When he still refused to answer my question of what his dreams consisted of, I chose not to push. I had seen some horrible things of my own, things that, as I remembered them now, I desperately prayed never actually happened. He had likely seen some things that he’d rather not speak of either. Perhaps even things more horrid than my own. It was best to let the subject rest. I ran my index finger over the line of his jaw, giving him what I hoped was a supportive smile, “You don’t have to tell me. It doesn’t matter. Whatever they may be, for now they’re just dreams, and we need only focus on what’s actually happening.”

He captured my hand in his and kissed my palm, “Dare I say I’ve chosen someone smarter than I?”

I laughed, “Keep that in mind, because I’m bound to make you rethink it at some point.”


	22. Chapter 22

##### Ten weeks.

Our stay on Vanaheimr lasted a while. It was everything he had described and more. Grand, lush forests with trees not too unlike the ones on Earth; only much, much older. They were reminiscent of Asgard’s, only, less golden. The sunshine didn’t pierce as strongly through the canopy. The light was green and the shadows dark. It wasn’t an evil or malevolent thing. It was more like the magic was different. A little more wild. A little more reckless. The waterfalls were breathtaking as promised. The water shimmered and pooled in deep blue basins. Although not much of a swimmer, I couldn’t help but dip my toes in. Loki stayed back, eventually admitting a slight fear of water and the inability to swim. He shared that he had nearly drowned as a child.

“How did you get out?”

“My--Thor... pulled me to safety.”

Vanaheimr’s civilization, while advanced, did not center on bustling metropolises. Rather, the people were divided into smaller tribes who lived in modest villages that did very little to impact the environment. We did our best to avoid most of the inhabitants, especially those of higher rank, because the Vanir did interact with Asgardians frequently enough that it would be risky to do so. What interactions we did have went well though. The common folk were entertained by my attempts to use their language and very willing to provide tips. Apparently, my accent, while thick and hard to understand, was incredibly charming. Loki, of course, proved to be flawlessly fluent. I was insanely jealous. We thoroughly enjoyed traveling the landscape without any constraints, visiting tiny communities and occasionally performing small favors in payment for supplies. My idea, after seeing the ruins of a couple of buildings by some rock trolls. Loki complied with my request after a good amount of urging from me. The gratitude he received from the villagers was enough to eradicate any future reservations about helping. He bathed in their praise and validation.

 

Sleep continued to be an issue, but it was one that could no longer be addressed.  


It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk to him about it, or that it didn’t need to be talked about; it was that there were no more words to say that could help alleviate the issue.

I ached to see whatever he saw, because at least then I might be able to understand better. Because whatever he did see haunted him to no end.  
But questioning him about it only furthered his silence, and I knew that was the wrong way to help him. So, instead, I did whatever else I could. After one too many nights of comforting him into a restless, uncomfortable slumber in the overlarge chairs of the cockpit, I resorted to quietly and gently guiding him to one of our rooms and bedding down there instead. This proved to be immensely helpful in making sure both of us slept, at least a little.

 

We had only one close encounter, and it forced us to reconsider where we traveled. On an interesting planet named Ria, where the native population was made up of piles of sentient rocks shaped into humanoid forms, we learned the hard way that Asgard had restored the Bifrost. 

In a marketplace on the outskirts of one of their four major cities, we browsed the stalls for supplies, as we were planning on leaving within the next day or so and making our way to Easik, a planet of reptilian people. A joke that my castmates and I shared from our senior play about reptilians masquerading as humans kept running through my mind. I couldn’t help the small smile that kept tugging at the corners of my mouth, and it wasn’t just to do with that sentimental memory. It had to do with the fact that life was good. Over the last several weeks I had grown as light as air. Though we still had some issues, stemming from both internal and external sources, they were nothing insurmountable. I had never felt more powerful, more capable, or more in control of my own happiness than I did living and traveling and loving with him.

I ran a gloved finger over one of the many small red fruits that sat in a roughly constructed stone bin. Some of them were so dark they were nearly black; Others were debatedly pink. “What are these?”

“Mmm… I’m not quite sure.” He grabbed the shopkeeper’s attention and asked them something in their language. Presumably the identity of the fruit. I didn’t know, as their language was one I had yet to grasp. I glanced over my shoulder at the stall diagonal from us. One of the largest rock-persons I had seen yet delicately laid out swaths of fabric, which was a little strange, as most of their kind wore very minimal clothing, and there were very few off-world visitors in the market. Curiosity pushed my feet forward until I found myself standing in front of the stone countertops draped in reds, golds, blues, and greens. They seemed familiar. I stared at them for several more seconds before realizing that they appeared to be the same type of fabric that was used in a lot of Asgardian clothing; especially the clothing of those of higher rank. 

The being running the stand finally noticed my presence and came to stand on the other side of the counter from me, a handful of intricate beads held carefully between thick stone fingers. They spoke in a surprisingly soft and higher-pitched voice. It sounded like a question, but I couldn’t be sure; not all languages indicated a query the same way.

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.” I replied, putting my hands up apologetically, and taking a few steps back. I meant to turn back and rejoin Loki, but was stopped in my tracks by the sound of English words.

“I was wondering if you Asgardians were interested in any of the fabrics I’ve got here today. Saw you looking. Thought you wouldn’t be here for a little while still considering the fights that’re happening down south of here, but I ain’t complaining.” They gave me what I took to be a huge, enthusiastic grin, “Just glad you can get here again. It’s been hell without you.”

I was still so taken aback by being able to comprehend what they were saying that I found myself stuttering as I tried to respond, “Oh— I— Asgardian? I’m—“ It was probably best that we weren’t recognized as having… Asgardian origins. If Odin truly had put out a bounty on us then being associated with him might lead to someone realizing exactly who we were and they might be tempted to take advantage of it.

The shopkeeper stared at me with a puzzled expression.

“I’m not Asgardian.” I finally managed to articulate. It was the truth. Hopefully that showed on my face.

“I meant no offense, just made note of your clothing. Same as this here cloth and Asgardians are some of my biggest customers—“

“Oh, I was gifted these—“

“Plus I knew Asgardians were supposed to be visiting today. Cleaning up the rebellion few klicks south of here. That’s why I put out my wares. Business’s been tough without them. Hoping to make some good units.”

Oh _shit._

“Yeah, no, completely understand. I’ve gotta go.”

“Well if you aren’t wanting any fabric can I interest you in some of my jewelry?”

I was itching to flee, find Loki, and get the hell out of here. Ever since our encounter with Rocket and Groot on Xandar, I’d been worried what that bounty over our heads translated to. In other words, if Odin was willing to pay so much money, he wanted us back badly, and I had a hard time not imagining what terrible things might be in store for us, or, more importantly, Loki, should we be found.

“No, I’m sorry I--” 

“Those there will be fine, thank you.”

A hand slid across my lower back, and a pair of lips brushed my ear, “You’re behaving much too suspiciously. Relax.”

I kept my mouth clenched shut to avoid any further panic-y remarks, but my mind was a buzz with all of the ways this could go wrong. If this shopkeeper had done business with Asgardians before, presumably a lot of business, given what they had told me earlier, then weren’t they likely to recognize Loki? They may not have done business with him before, but he was a prince of Asgard; An estranged one, but still one nonetheless. It seemed to me that someone eager for the return of Asgardians to their planet would keep up on news about them. Surely he had a chance of realizing who he was selling beads to.

The exchange was made and the shopkeeper bid us a very elated farewell, happy to have had at least one customer.

We made our way down the rough, rocky path that twisted between the little marketplace stands. Once we got far enough away from the fabric salesman, I felt comfortable enough to voice my questions, “You heard what he said, right?”

“Yes. I suppose we’ll be leaving for Easik a little earlier than anticipated.”

“Aren’t you afraid he recognized you?”

“If he had, his reaction would have been immediate. Kronans are not known for their subtlety. That’s one of the reasons their planet is known for civil disputes. If and when he does realize, we will be long gone.”

That was mildly reassuring. I tried to relax further. “I guess they fixed the Bifrost then.”

“Unfortunately. I was expecting the restoration to take much longer.” He frowned, “I think it’ll be best if we avoid realms under Asgard’s protection. With how long they’ve been unable to travel, they’ll likely be out in force cleaning up any mess made by the Marauders.”

“Makes sense.”

“I should hope so.”

I gave him a cheeky grin and received a small smile in return. “Here.” He handed me the necklace he had bought from the shop. I took it carefully into my hands. It was exceptionally, and surprisingly, intricate. Not to say that I doubted the Kronan’s ability. They just seemed like rather brutish beings, and the beads were exceedingly delicate for someone whose fingers were thick pieces of rock. It probably took a lot of time and patience to create something like what I held before me. The necklace was made of small, interlocking pieces of a shiny gold metal interspersed by tiny dark red stones.

I was about to thank him when a commotion caught our attention. Loki held out his arm and stopped me from moving any further forward. A few dozen feet ahead of us, a group of rowdy soldiers in clearly identifiable Asgardian armor made their way through.

“Fuck.” I whispered under my breath. We made our way off the path at a controlled, hopefully unquestionable, pace and stood under the dark shadow of a back alleyway.

“What do we do?”

“I do not want to risk an illusion after Xandar. If Odin is truly so desperate to find us that he put out a bounty, then it is safe to assume he might have technology similar to the device the…”

“Racoon?”

“...Racoon had. We’ll have to wait for them to pass and then quickly make our way to the ship.”

“Okay.” I watched as the Asgardian soldiers passed us by without any notice. They weren’t a very large group, and that definitely provided a lot of relief. Should anything go wrong, we still might have a chance at getting past them. The number of them dwindled until finally the last few came sauntering past. I was terrified to spot Fandral, easily identifiable by his neatly combed back blond hair and smug face. He was followed by Volstagg, whose loud, booming laugh I was surprised to have not noticed right away. And, finally, another blond whose presence made my heart jump into my throat. Thor. He smiled along with the other two’s conversation, but seemed otherwise somewhat grim. His eyes made note of every stall and being he passed. A hand at my hip pulled me further back into the shadows. 

I was sad seeing Thor, and a little guilty still about how I had left things with him. He deserved more, and I could only imagine how he took the news of my departure, and what he thought of it. Did he think I had lied to him? Betrayed him? Despised him enough to leave without so much as a word? Yeah, I felt awful. I hoped once again that I would have to opportunity to talk to him and explain everything. 

Thor eventually passed on with the others, although not without a lingering glance of the area, as if he had seen something he recognized but didn’t quite believe.

 

* * *

##### Seventeen weeks.

After our very close call with the Asgardian forces, we had to steer clear of any realm or world under their protection. So much time without the Bifrost intact had plunged their dependents into states of chaos, and it was only now, with the Tesseract having been used to restore it, that they were able to reach out and help. I hadn’t realized that Asgard did so much to protect other civilizations. I felt a little less resentment towards Odin and his council having seen the support that they provided to those in need. Though it did raise questions as to how they decided who to help and who not to, because they absolutely did not help all worlds, even ones who desperately needed it. Like Easik, and Hala.

I understood that Hala was the capital of the Kree empire, and that the Nova empire was the one dedicated to helping police the terrible things that happened there, but there was only so much that they could do. Especially with a peace treaty in the works, although many didn’t think it would come to fruition any time soon. Regardless, because of the peaceful talks between the two, they couldn’t intervene nearly as often as they needed to. As a result, the slave trade that Kree’s were known for was booming. I hated it, and if Odin, in all his might and glory, wouldn’t take a stand, then somebody had to.

I fished around in my satchel for the pair of laser bolt cutters I had snatched from a really quite decrepit storefront, run by a Kree with a criminal record that would put Al Capone to shame.

The small child sitting directly in front of me sobbed quietly, her eyes flicking from my face, to my bag, to the shadows of people passing over our heads. Though the sounds of the crowds and traffic zooming by above were enough to drown out most of her whimpers, I still took a moment to press a finger to my lips. She stared at me with large, watery red eyes, her bottom lip trembling, but her cries stopped. I gave her what I hoped to be an encouraging smile. She didn’t smile back. I tried not to think of the horrors she had been through. The scars visible past her scant clothing were enough to fuel my internal fire.

Having finally found the bolt cutters, I began to work on the chains that were weighing her down to the floor. The cutters were not great. It took a few minutes to get through the thick metal, and I still had several other children of various ages staring at me in terror. But I had to try, even as the time I had to free them dwindled. Every sharp sound made my muscles tense in anticipation of a fight.

The chains clattered to the ground as I finally freed the first child. She immediately wrapped her arms around herself, dirty fingernails clutching worn fabric so tightly I feared it would rip.

“Go.” I whispered to her urgently, tilting my head sharply to the right to indicate the jagged hole in the wall, and subsequent stairs that would lead her to the street above. She only continued to stare at me. I wondered if maybe I had used the wrong word.

“Kezzy.” A young boy sitting a few feet away grabbed the girl’s attention with what I suspected to be her name. He said something along the lines of a location, although I wasn’t sure, and then repeated what I had said, “Go.” 

She took off like an arrow. Stumbling towards the hole and crawling up the stairs until she disappeared into the street.

I gave a smile of appreciation to the boy and continued my work. It took nearly half an hour, and my anxiety slowly rose as I realized it could be only a matter of seconds before the children’s captors caught me. As I cut through the last child’s bonds, the door to the room slammed open and two Kree, one man, one woman, came barreling in. Pushing the boy towards the exit I had made earlier, I jumped to my feet and backed away from the two slowly. They were furious, which was to be expected. I had just cost them thousands of units by freeing all of their slave stock. They started yelling at me, and though I could understand most of it, I ignored it all. The man pulled out a blaster and aimed it at me.

“Þoka.”

Smoke filled the room and I made for my escape when the man started firing the blaster blindly. Though I did my best to dodge his blasts, one of them caught me in the side and I stumbled into the wall next to my escape route, busting my nose on the hard stone. I whipped around as best I could, clutching my side with one hand and throwing one of my knives with the other. The man howled in pain and the darts of red light from his weapon ceased. I leaned against the rock for support, wincing as I took stock of my injury. My armor had protected me for the most part. Although, I suspected that the skin underneath was badly bruised, maybe even slightly burned from the sharp stinging sensation that emanated from it.

Loki was going to be pissed.

Caught up in my evaluation of the injuries and worried about what he would say when he saw them, I failed to notice the woman coming up on my left until a blade emerged from her chest and she let out a cry of agony. As she slid to the ground, I found myself face to face with the last person I wanted to see in this situation.

Loki was pissed.

 

“I told you not to interfere.” He said tersely, after we had arrived back to the docking station where our ship sat idle. I slammed my palm against the upper right hand corner of the back hatch. The door popped open and a set of stairs unfolded. I stormed up them without a word, my boots clanging against the metal. Loki followed, albeit more slowly. That wasn’t to say he was calm, though. His movements were the slow preciseness of one filled to the brim with controlled anger.

“Nellie.”

I continued ignoring him. I threw down my satchel, letting it hit the padded couch-like piece of furniture that took up the center room. It bounced off and landed with a dull thud against the floor. The dozens of pictures hanging on the wall above it hung motionless. I liked them better when their enchantment was activated, but I was too annoyed to speak the words. Now wasn’t the time anyway. I glared at them instead. Happy moments from beautiful places. Things those children may have never experienced if someone hadn’t intervened. Things they still might not experience.

How had it come to this? When had I become this? While the fury I felt toward such injustices was the same as before I’d come to this world, before I’d lived this life, I’d never imagined I’d actually act on that fury. Before I’d been angry and powerless. Then I’d had power and yet still hesitated, fueled less by righteousness and more by guilt. Now I was nearly back to square one in terms of ability, yet I was filled with a strong sense of duty. If I was going to live in the universe, I was going to do everything to make it a better place; Even if it wasn’t my responsibility to.

“Listen to me.” His voice had lowered a bit, and it cut through my thoughts like a hot knife through butter. Through I was livid I knew I couldn’t keep this up. I had to talk to him eventually. A relationship was based on communication, and I didn’t want to alienate him further than I already had by doing something he had explicitly asked me not to.

“I’m listening.” I finally turned to face him and crossed my arms over my chest, wincing just the slightest bit as my shirt stretched and rubbed against the place I’d been hit.

“Are you?” 

“Yes.” I’m sure the indignation in my voice raised some doubts.

He gestured back in the direction of the city, “I asked you not to interfere.”

I scowled, “How can you expect me not to interfere? They were children, Loki. Children.”

“I know.”

“I couldn’t just let them stay chained up and sold to who knows who. We—“

“Nellie, I kno—“

“—‘ve seen firsthand what happens to them. And the fucking Nova Corps can’t do anything. And—“

“Stop—“

“No one else has the ability let alone the gall to stand up to the traders considering the government backs them!”

He’d lost what little patience he’d had in the first place, “Nellie, stop.” 

I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. I already knew what he was going to say, “No. No, I know! We can’t get caught. We can’t have what happened with Vanaheimr, but I wasn’t gonna get caught. I made sure of it and what does it matter if we’re leaving soon anyway? Asgard wasn’t notified of what happened on Vanaheimr with the trolls until we were long gone. I just don’t understand why we can’t help them. We have the ability to do something, we should--”

I was cut off abruptly by his hands gripping my upper arms tightly. He never touched me when I was angry; he knew I hated it. This was much more serious than I had thought. He stared down at me intensely, “I don’t want what happened on Easik to happen again!”

It had been a long time since he’d yelled at me. Months. Not since New York. The shock of that delayed my reaction, but once his words had sunk in, I felt a sullenness overcome me.

“I thought we agreed we weren’t going to talk about Easik.” I said bitterly, trying to pull away from him. He didn’t loosen his hold, “We need to.”

“No we don’t.”

“Yes, we do.” He let out a long breath through his nose, taking a moment before he said anything else. I avoided making eye contact with him. “You’re not invincible.” He brushed his thumb across my upper lip, where the blood from hitting the wall earlier was half-dried, “You cannot keep playing hero.”

“You expect me to just let terrible things happen?”

“I expect you to not put yourself in danger.”

“How did you even notice I was gone?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

He gave me a deadpan look, “Any morning where you are awake before me is one that calls for suspicion. When I awoke alone I knew you had gone and gotten yourself into some kind of trouble. Just like Easik.”

“This wasn’t like Easik! I was handling it.”

“That woman was a mere three steps from you. If I hadn’t intervened then we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

I huffed angrily, “Then why don’t you come with me? You loved helping the Vanir and you were part of trying to take down that warlord--”

“Because,” He was near shouting again, but he reigned himself in before continuing, “you nearly got yourself killed. It is not about getting caught; we can deal with bounty hunters or Asgardian search parties if we have to. And it is not about me not wanting to help those in need. It is about you forgetting that _you are mortal._  
“You have your little tricks and your knives but what will you do when there are too many to handle? When one of them is immune to the fog? When they are stronger or faster than you, because a lot of them are?” His hands shook after each question.

I finally met his gaze and immediately regretted it. It was hard to stay angry when I could see the amount of pain he was in. He paused in his little speech as if he was expecting an answer. I had none to give.

“I’ll tell you. You die, and I have to live with that; The knowledge that I invited you out here, with very little in ways of protection, because of a selfish need to be close to you.” He ran a hand over his face and walked away. Having broken free from the fear and worry his look had conveyed to me, I was able to think clearer. The way he spoke, the emphasis on certain parts… This was something that had plagued him for some time now. Though I still didn’t want to hold back from helping those in need, I needed to take his feelings into consideration. I followed him to where he had come to stand, feeling regret eat away at my insides.

“I--I’m sorry.” I reached out and touched his back, leaned my forehead against his shoulder, “I’m sorry. I didn’t think-- didn’t realize--”

“I know.” He didn’t sound soothed. He sounded tired. He and I both knew I wouldn’t, couldn’t, promise it wouldn’t happen again. We encountered far too many desperate situations for that. After a moment of pensive silence, he turned back to me.

“Where are you hurt?”

 

* * *

##### Twenty-two weeks.

“This place looks--”

“Sketchy as hell?”

I burst out laughing, unable to keep any sort of composure. The way he had said it, with a pause between each word, and so clearly articulated. It certainly was something I’d say, though nothing like how I’d say it. Ridiculous. “Are you making fun of me?”

Loki smiled, that little dimple appearing, “Perhaps a little. Although, I admit I have found myself picking up some of your dialect and turns of phrase.” 

“I’ve noticed.” I said, picking at my seatbelt strap and thinking of all the times I’d heard him mutter one of my choice curse words under his breath. I was beginning to wonder if I may be a bad influence. “I think I may have been picking up on how you speak too. I’ve already been confused for an Asgardian. Soon I will be able to fool them all.” 

“Mm, I don’t quite think so.”

I scoffed, “What? Why not?”

“You still drop the final consonants of some of your words, especially when you speak excitedly.” He replied teasingly. I rolled my eyes and got up from the passenger seat, though I wasn’t displeased, “Whatever. Wouldn’t want to be confused as one anyway. Overly pretentious group.”

“Besides, you’re much too short.” He added.

Now he had gotten to me. I spun on my heel, pointing my finger accusingly at him where he still sat in the piloting seat, “ _Listen babe_ , five foot seven is not short. It is above the average. You all,” I made sure not to use ‘ya’ll’ although the temptation was there, “are just monstrously tall.”

“Monstrously?” He stood fluidly from his seat and reached me in two long-legged steps, catching the fabric of the front of my shirt and pulling me to him. He leaned down towards me with a smirk, only accentuating the very height to which I was referring, “That’s rude of you.”

“I never said I was nice.” I responded with a grin, pushing him away lightly. He gave me a look that made my face flush, but said nothing more about the matter. 

We went about collecting our things. I grabbed my satchel from the floor near the storage units and quickly whipped my hair into a bun so that it was out of the way. We had just arrived at Knowhere, which I knew from the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie as a very disreputable place. I wasn’t thrilled to be visiting, since disreputable places were known for disreputable things and well, it was a point of tension between us. To be clear, it wasn’t about doing less than savory things; we were on the run, unsavory things were inevitable and I made certain we never harmed anyone innocent. No, it was about our dealings with the beings who did unsavory things and populated disreputable places. Beings who hurt and harmed others for their own gain and with no remorse. That was where the problem resided. I wanted to get involved; Loki absolutely did not want me to get involved. We’d had many an argument. 

However, with what had happened on Easik, then Hala, and then Aargo-7... we’d come to compromise. Which was that I was not allowed to intervene without talking to him first and I was not, under any circumstances, allowed to go by myself. It was tough, but I didn’t want to hurt him anymore than I already had. Agreeing was my only choice if I wanted to salvage his trust in me. 

I stood by the back hatch impatiently, wanting to get in and out of this place as quickly as possible. Our next destination was Dervani, and the description Loki had given me a few nights prior had filled me with excitement. To make a quick summary of it: Trees that dwarfed mountains. I had always been a “let’s go on an adventure in the woods” type. Plus, there wasn’t much for civilization, so less of a chance of encountering anything unsavory. I bounced on the balls of my feet.

Loki came to stand next to me. “Ready?” He asked.

“You do realize I’ve been waiting on you, right?”

He raised his left hand, but instead of opening the door, he reached out and tucked a strand of hair I’d missed into the rest of the bun. “There’s going to be a lot going on here. Things you may not like. Don’t forget what we agreed on.”

I suppressed the frustration that started creeping its way into me, keeping my voice cordial, “I know. Let’s just get what we need and go. If we’re fast enough we’ll avoid any trouble.”

It didn’t work out that way.

 

The streets were crowded, winding, humid, and smelled awful. Loud voices and machinery reverberated through the air. I could barely hear my own thoughts. If one more person bumped into me I was going back to the ship, no matter what. I wished I could have stayed there in the first place, but Loki insisted otherwise. I suspected he didn’t want to leave me alone because he thought I’d get myself into trouble. He had no comment on that, which is how I knew it to be the truth. He couldn’t lie to me, so his tactic was silence.

Some huge, lumbering creature a whole head taller than even Thor brushed past. Their scaled tail swept across the ground behind them and swiped at my feet. I tripped over it and stumbled, just barely catching myself by grabbing Loki’s arm. “Dude.” I muttered under my breath, irritated.  
A steadying hand rested on my lower back, “We’re nearly there.”

We reached our destination, a tiny shop filled with unidentifiable pieces of machinery. As it turned out, whoever we had… borrowed our ship from had made some apparently illegal modifications. Nothing too serious. Though I still wasn’t entirely sure what they did for the ship, they were necessary to keep it running, and had unfortunately broken about a week ago. We’d managed thus far, but they had to be replaced. And since they were against regulations, we had had to come here for the replacements.

While Loki spoke to the merchant, a rather human looking man with bright yellow eyes, I studied the parts hanging from the walls behind him. They dangled like the prizes at a carnival stand, only somehow even dirtier and more dingy looking. After a few minutes, the merchant seemed to confirm something. Loki grimaced in annoyance and turned to me, “I’m going to have to help identity the part at the rear of the shop.”

I understood the implication, “I don’t think I need to go with you.”

“Are you sure?”

My eyes gazed past all of the machinery, into a dark cramped hall that might smell even worse than the street, “I’ll be fine. I’ll keep an eye out.”

His expression was doubtful.

“I promise I will stay right here.”

After a long look of consideration, he nodded and went with the Merchant further into the shop. I watched them disappear and exhaled a long breath, glancing down at the ground and drawing lines into the grime with the toe of my boot. The air quality here was worse than when I went to New York, and that had been bad. I felt a trickle of sweat run along my spine as the heat of the place got under my skin. Knowhere was awful. I hoped we never had to come back.

“Don’t touch that.”

My heart froze in my chest at the sound of that voice. I didn’t dare turn my head to see who was standing behind me, although I did glimpse a branch receding from one of the metal contraptions above my head. How in the fuck…?

“Hey, lady, how long have you been waiting on this guy? We have a deadline to meet.” Rocket asked. If I didn’t answer, he would get suspicious. 

“Not long.” I replied in a nervous and high-pitched voice. At least he hadn’t recognized me yet. But what were we going to do when Loki came back? There was no way Rocket wouldn’t realize who he’d just ran into. 

“I am Groot.”

“I know, but we gotta get this thing.”

“I am Groot.”

“No.”

“I am Groot.”

“I don’t care.”

“I am Groot.”

“Don’t say that.”

With every word I felt my muscles tense. Last time we had encountered them, we had barely scraped by. I supposed we had the upper hand this time, because I knew who they were and they failed to remember me, but what could I do with this advantage? I couldn’t leave. I could search the stand, find Loki, and we could perhaps leave through a back door if there was one. But I also didn’t want to risk moving from where I stood, because any attention I drew to myself could lead to me being recognized. 

“Man, this guy is taking forever. Pretty rude if ya ask me, am I right?” Rocket had come to stand next to me. I nodded, using one hand to cover the side of my face he stood closest to, faking frustration with the merchant.

“I am Groot.”

“You’re right. Hey, lady, do we know you? You seem familiar.”

The word “fuck” was on repeat in my mind, like a song on a scratched CD. I tried to play it cool, “I don’t think so.”

“You sure?”

“I think I’d remember.”

This was too much. I was going to have to go look for Loki, I couldn’t stay here. Just as I was about to step behind the counter, they returned. Loki’s eyes bounced between me and the soon-to-be-Guardians.

“Well look who it is. It’s a small universe after all.” Rocket mused. I heard the loud click of his blaster being armed as he hefted it into the air. “Don’t move or I’ll shoot. Feel free to try me if you want, I’d love an excuse to shoot your sorry asses.”

The merchant retreated back into his shop without a word, evidently not interested in being involved. 

“Now, here’s how things are gonna go. You two are going to let Groot put on these restraints, and you’re going to come back with us quietly. No funny business.”

Loki held out his hands somewhat mockingly, “Perhaps there’s some kind of arrangement we can work out.”

“I am Groot.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so Stabby. You broke my favorite gun, and Groot doesn't like you. It’s personal now. I’d turn you in for no reward at all. It’s just a perk that your Asgardian buddies raised the price on your princely head by a whole lot.” He bared his sharp teeth in an amused grin. 

“So be it.” Loki replied. Suddenly an arm around my waist yanked me backwards off my feet. Rocket and Groot were outlined by ever growing black edges rimmed by orange sparks before they disappeared entirely. A portal. The next thing I knew I was standing in another part of what I assumed was still Knowhere, based on the smell. I quelled the wave of nauseousness that tried to overwhelm me. It’d been a long time since I’d traveled by portal, and the atmosphere of the place did me no favors. The street was nearly empty, with the exception of some rat like creature that screeched and skittered away. I whipped around nervously, “I thought we couldn’t use portals?”

“I had no choice.” Loki replied, grabbing my hand and starting off down the street at a fast pace. I hurried to keep up. “We need to get to the ship as soon as possible. If my mother is keeping an eye out as suspected, Asgardian forces could be here in under an hour.”

I nearly asked why we hadn’t just portaled straight onto the ship, but realized that it would have led anyone tracking portals straight to it. Even if we managed to leave before they arrived, witnesses on the dock could easily give a description of our ship, and getting a new one was a pain. At least this way they couldn’t track us past this street. 

“How in the hell did we manage to run into those two again?” I wondered aloud. Loki shook his head, “The probability is so ridiculously small that I would consider the idea that they’ve been tracking us if it weren’t for the fact I’ve done everything within my ability to prevent such a thing.”

We turned a couple of corners until we were back in the crowds of the square just outside the docks. My eyes searched every face we passed. I couldn’t get my mind off the memory of them finding us after we got away from them last time on Xandar, prompting a fight. Though, what was the likelihood of that happening again?

Brushing past, we finally made it to the dock. It was similar to what you might imagine. Exactly like the boat docks I was familiar with seeing on the river in my hometown; pathways that stretched out to large gaps where ships sat idle. Only instead of being wooden, the paths were grated metal; and instead of hanging over the muddy water of the Mississippi, they hung over empty space. There were several levels stacked on top of each other, connected by steep stairways, and separated by about twenty to thirty feet of open air. The metal was rusted and half of the paths lacked guardrails. 

Just as I was beginning to think we’d gotten away, the whole dock shook with the force of an impact, and the pathway ahead of us was blown off by some sort of explosion. Loki had, at this point, put me ahead of him so that if anyone tried to follow, they’d have to deal with him first. As such, I was closest to the collapsed path. I felt it start to give under my feet as it fell to the into the void below, and managed to take half a step back. Enough to avoid initially tumbling down with it, but not enough to keep from rocking back and nearly following soon after. Loki managed to catch my arm at the last second. Before he could pull me back to safety, a small round disk slid to a stop just behind him. For a brief moment, I feared it was another explosive device of sorts, and that we were going to die. Then it let out what seemed to be a harmless pulse of bluish energy. As the wave passed over us, I watched the change it inflicted with pure horror. Loki’s skin darkened to its true blue tone, darker marks swirling across it in enchanting designs. The moment the change reached the hand that gripped me, my own skin began to feel as though it was burning. I couldn’t help but let out a weak cry of pain and surprise. His eyes, now a deep red, flicked to my face and widened with realization. He loosened his grip. My wrist slipped through his hand and I fell back into the space below. My scream caught in my throat. I would have died when I hit the walkway beneath if it weren’t for Groot catching me at the last second. He slowly began retracting his arm, bringing me up with it. I didn’t struggle, just tried to comprehend the last few moments as best I could.

“That worked so much better than I thought it would. Anti-magic is tricky technology.” I heard Rocket exclaim as he appraised what his device had done. He cocked his head in Loki’s direction, “What in the hell are you?”

“The last thing you’re going to see.” Loki charged Rocket, who was so taken aback by the sudden attack that he had no time to prepare for it. Loki grabbed Rocket by the throat, holding him high into the air. The iciness of his skin began to do its damage as Rocket failed to free himself from Loki’s hold. Groot, seeing the danger his friend was in, tried to grab at Loki with his free hand. The branch that wrapped around Loki froze and shattered, splinters of wood raining down. I was close enough to the path now to be able to climb up onto it. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop Loki without touching him, which was the last thing I wanted to do. Instead, I scrambled past him and snatched up the device. It was too compact to crush with my meager strength, and I couldn’t figure out how to work it. 

“Loki!” I yelled, grabbing his attention. I tossed the device to him. He caught it instinctively, and the cold of his true form damaged its mechanics enough that it stopped working. He skin began to transition back to its normal shade. He closed his fist around the device and crushed it easily. Rocket, seeing his moment, bit the hand that held him, prompting Loki to drop the racoon. Rocket skittered away backwards towards Groot’s protective stance. 

I jumped forward and placed myself in front of Loki for both his protection and for the soon-to-be-Guardians’ as well. Loki was sure to be furious considering what they had done. If given the chance, he would murder them without a second thought, no matter what I said.

With magic working again, I whipped out one of my knives and pointed it at our attackers, “Enough of this shit. Rocket, Groot--”

“You know who we are?”

“Shut up. That’s not important. You’re going to forget about the bounty and us, and you’re going to leave without another word to anyone.”

“Why in the hell would I do that? He just tried to kill me!”

“And he would have succeeded if I wasn’t standing up for you right now. Follow us, and I don’t care what you’re supposed to become in a few years, I won’t stop him again.”

“What we’re supposed to becom--?”

“Not another word. Leave. Now. I won’t ask a second time.”

“I am Groot.”

Rocket’s head snapped up. He seemed shocked by whatever Groot had said. After a few moments, he stared back at me, and then at who was behind me, and must have decided to take me up on my offer. He stood, brushed himself off, touched his neck where the skin was already beginning to swell, gave me a dirty look, and began limping away. 

I watched them retreat for a few moments, and then turned around to face Loki. I could see now why Rocket had retreated. Murder was written across his face as he stared at them. However, when his gaze shifted to me, it fell; guilt took a turn as the main player.

“Are you okay?” I asked, reaching up to touch his face. He jerked away from my touch, taking a few steps back. I let my hand drop. I wondered if he was mad at me, and then I saw how he seemed fixated on my wrist. I glanced down at it, and saw the bright red handprint that was beginning to swell up. Frostbite. A result of touching his true form. I’d been so preoccupied that I’d failed to notice it, but now that things had slowed down, I felt the intense burning sensation that still lingered. I grimaced, tucking that arm behind my back so that he couldn’t see it anymore.

“It’s fine--”

“Don’t.” He said quietly.

I pressed my lips into a thin line, debating whether or not I should keep quiet. I was worried. I didn’t want him to dwell on it. I didn’t want him to blame himself, to go back to believing he was inherently evil, but I knew that was exactly where his thoughts were leading him. Yet, if he had closed down, there was no forcing it from him. This was going to be one of the things I had to let him come to me with, no matter how hard it was going to be to sit back and wait.

I nodded, “Okay. Let’s get out of here.”

 

A few days passed and he still wasn’t himself. Things between us had grown cold. He refused to come anywhere within a few feet of me, and his eyes only ever left the floor to inspect the mark he had left on my wrist. He didn’t speak, didn’t sleep. After the first day, I’d taken to wearing sleeves long enough to cover it up. I’d never had frostbite before, so I wasn’t exactly sure how to treat it. The burning sensation, while much duller, still flared up if something rubbed against it, but it hadn’t gotten any worse or turned any other color than red. Still, a surprising amount of damage for a few brief seconds of contact. I wondered how much worse Rocket’s throat was. He’d been in contact with Loki’s Jotun form for at least twice as long.

Finally I could wait no longer, “Loki.”

He didn’t look up from cockpit controls he was standing in front of. I sighed, “You have to talk to me eventually.”

Still nothing. I came to stand as close to him as I dared, trying not to move so close that he would retreat back to his room. I could see how my presence made him tense, “Please talk to me.”

“What do you want me to say?” He asked hoarsely, only his lips moving. Even a statement such as that filled me with relief. This was progress, even if it was only the tiniest bit.

“Why are you doing this?”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

That was exasperating, “You’re hurting me by doing this; By not talking to me, by staying as far away as you can. Don’t you realize that?”

He turned now, upset, “Of course I do. But I can’t… I can’t look at you without seeing the expression of fear and pain that crossed your face. You haven’t looked at me like that since New York. I never wanted you to ever look at me like that again.”

“Honey, it was an accident.” I replied, my voice soft and sad, “This is not like New York.”

“It’s exactly like New York. Once again what I really am hurts you. I thought it was only the dreams, that it would never happen again but here we are--” He was talking more to himself now than to me, the heel of his hands pressed against his temples. He looked as though he was losing his mind. I approached quickly, not giving him time to back away, and grabbed the sides of his face.

“Loki, listen to me. The only way this is anything like New York is that once again the situation was out of your control. First it was the mind stone; this time it was whatever that device was. Neither time did you intentionally do something to hurt me. Hell, in New York you tried to send me back home. On the docks, you let go the moment you realized what was happening.”

“And you fell. I could do nothing to help you.”

“Groot caught me. I’m fine.”

“Not every time.”

That threw me for a loop, “Not every time? What do you mean?”

Silence. It clicked without him answering the question. The dreams. Other realities. 

“You saw what happened in a dream?”

“Not exactly.”

“What do you mean?”

He paused, looked out into the void that surrounded the ship, “It never happens exactly the same. Sometimes it’s with the mind stone. Sometimes a device like the rat’s. Sometimes it’s Thanos.” He whispered his name. These were the dreams he had refused to talk about so long ago, when we had first started our travels together. “I always inadvertently hurt you. Too many times you… don’t recover.  
“And since we know that they are real events. Things that have happened in other universes. I’m just so afraid that this will be one of them.” I had never, ever, seen his eyes so watery, so on the verge of tears. It was terrifying. I didn’t think him capable of crying. He just held things back with such an iron grip that he only ever expressed negative emotions with anger or resentment. I was seeing a whole other side to him.

I cleared my throat. I was a notorious contagious crier. “We think that’s the case but we can never know for sure. For all you know they’re just your worst fears manifesting as these dreams that because we’ve shared some of them, seem like they are insights into other realities.”

He closed his eyes and shook his head ever so slightly, “I know that these are true.”

Standing on my tip toes, I reached around the back of his head and pulled it down so that I could lean my forehead against his.

“Maybe they are. But there’s an infinite number of them, and they exist separately because they are different, because not everything that happens in one happens in another. In a million other universes we are in drastically different positions. One where we never ran into bounty hunters, one where we never left Asgard, one where we never left Earth, one where I turned down Heimdall and Frigga’s offer, and one where we never met at all. Stop focusing on what’s happening in them and start paying attention to what’s happening in this one. We’re here, right now, free from Asgard and Odin and any such pressures. We’re both alive and healthy. We have a ship to go wherever we want, more or less. And I’m not afraid of you, I love you.”

He let out a shuddering breath, as if he had been holding it for too long, and kissed me softly, once on the top of my head and once on the lips.


	23. Chapter 23

Sitting cross-legged on the couch, I leaned over my cupped hands, focusing intensely. My hair created a barrier on either side, hiding my face and also my line of sight. My cheeks were flushed and my fingertips chilled as I murmured variations of the same phrase under my breath. It wasn’t anything a bystander could understand; it was something that I barely understood myself. A series of words for protection and warmth layered over each other until they were incomprehensible. The ice I held delicately slowly turned back to water. My palms became numb. There was really no point in continuing if I wouldn’t be able to feel a change, but I was too frustrated to care. I was determined to come up with a spell of some sort.

And it worked as a wonderful distraction to the situation I was in. Or rather, the situation I wasn’t in. 

The ice melted completely, now useless in its warmer state. I wiped it on the legs of my pants in annoyance and stood abruptly, pacing the length of the main room from cockpit to back hatchway. Worry plagued every step. I’d done everything possible to distract myself and all it had done was made me feel more idle. How had he expected me to stay here? The argument replayed itself in my head.

 

“You’re staying with the ship.”  


“That’s fucking stupid and you know it!”  


“We are not going to argue about this.”  


“You don’t just get to decide whether or not there’s going to be an argument, Loki.”  


“Yes, I do.”  


“It’s too dangerous for you to go by yourself.”  


“Malekith is weak without the reality gem. Besides, I’m not interested in stopping him. Only making sure that my mother is safe.”  


“I’m not concerned about Malekith. I’m concerned about Odin and the bounty he has on your head. What if you get caught? Imprisoned or worse?”  


“Mother would never allow an execution.”  


“What if you don’t succeed in saving her? Thor will leave to save Jane and there will be no one to speak up on your behalf.”  


“I won’t get caught.”  


I rolled my eyes, “You tell me to keep in mind that I’m not invincible but seem to think you are. You’re not.”  


He gave me a pained, tight lipped smile, “More so than you.”

 

Flustered, my foot caught the edge of a stack of books and I nearly found myself sprawled on the floor. Fortunately, I caught my balance at the last second. Unfortunately, the stack tipped over. I huffed and kneeled down to straighten the one of many out, my hands stroking the covers in reverence as I assembled them into the tower they once were. We really needed a better method of organization. Maybe that was something I could do while I waited? I held the final book contemplatively. No. I liked how the books were scattered haphazardly across the ship in some sort of chaotic system. A system that only we understood. Although it was a good thing no one else was ever here; they might find it messy.

I glanced up and around. It was strange, hearing a breeze against the hull instead of the hum of the ship’s engine. Sunlight streamed in through the front windshield. Trees waved at me as though greeting an old friend. I might have enjoyed it, especially considering it was one of my favorite places in the universe, but there was no room for anything akin to enjoyment in me at the moment. Still, I went and stood in front of the glass, staring out at the scene before me. Flowers danced merrily under a spotless sky. The meadow was just as I remembered. It never disappointed.

I stood on tiptoes, trying to see beyond the beauty so that I might catch a glimpse of the city, but I was much too far from it. A shame. It might have offered some semblance of comfort. Suddenly, the booming echo of destruction rang through the area. In the direction of Asgard’s capital I saw black smoke begin to drift upwards into the blue. The dark elves had arrived. My pulse jumped into overdrive, racing through my veins in fear. I pressed my hands up against the glass and watched breathlessly, anxiously as more fumes crawled towards the heavens, shadows dancing above the treeline. 

It was over quickly. The sounds of explosions faded and a heavy silence filled the vacant space it left behind. The city kept burning, and slowly the sun descended so that I could no longer see anything that might hint towards the state of things. Each moment that passed was a painful stab to the chest. Eventually it hurt too much to keep straining my eyes for sight of something, anything. I turned away and paced back into the main part of the ship, running my shaking hands through my hair. 

 

“What am I supposed to do if you don’t come back?”  


He gave me a steady and confident look, “I’ll be back before dark. You needn’t worry about it.”

 

More time passed. The night deepened. I glanced nervously at the back hatch, weighing my options. He said he’d be back by now. What if he’d been captured? Odin was undoubtedly furious with how long we had evaded him, surely he’d make quick work of whatever punishment he had in mind. I feared the worst. But what if Odin was dead? What if they were all dead? What if Malekith had won? I took a few steps towards the exit. Yet again, what if he had just been held back? What if he was taking his time to ensure no one followed him? What if I left and he arrived at an empty ship? I paused, biting at my nails as I struggled; a bad habit I’d conquered months ago. My eyes burned with tears but I didn’t let them fall. I crushed the fear and anxiety I felt, molding it into resentment. If he had just let me come with him, if Odin had just let go of the past and his fucking pride, then I wouldn’t have to wait here like a helpless damsel. With a final huff of frustration, I snatched up my bag and a hooded cloak. I couldn’t risk staying here if Loki might be in trouble.

I hurried out into the surprisingly chill night, closing the door behind me quietly. Now the problem became the trip into the city. I had very little idea of how to get there. I spent a few minutes sticking close to the ship, feeling goosebumps run up my legs as the long grass brushed against them. It was so unbelievably dark. The only flashlights I had were on the two phones I possessed, my own from home and the one Ruth had given me, but they were long dead. Not even the stars, who were usually so bright, shone tonight. They hid their faces as if they could not bear to look down at those below.

After standing around like an idiot for some time and trying to figure out the direction of the city, some old friends came to my rescue. Swimming through the darkness like creatures from the sea floor, the Landvæittir emerged from the flowers and trees, visible only because of a soft glow that illuminated their elegant forms. I couldn’t help but smile fondly, even in my distressed state. They flocked me around like pets frightened by Fourth of July fireworks, brushing past my legs and trembling slightly, seeking comfort. I supposed that the battle from earlier might have scared them, especially since the wind had brought with it the smoke of burnt ships and buildings.

“Hello.” I whispered quietly. Two of the ones made of petals danced over the backs of my hands and up my arms. There were no soft giggles from them tonight, but they did seem glad to see me. One of them brushed past my newly shortened hair, pausing curiously. I answered as though they had questioned it, because it felt as if they had.

“I know, I had to cut it. It was getting too difficult to take care of.”

A breathy whisper at my ear that sounded vaguely sounded like words raised more goosebumps along the back of my neck. Without the warmth and sunshine, they were no longer the carefree, joyous beings I had first met. There was something cryptic about them now, something formidable. I resisted the urge to wave them away and focused on the task at hand.

“Listen, I have to get to the city. Can you show me the way?”

They all seemed to pause for a moment, as though in hesitation. I feared for a moment that they may not help me. Then one of them made a quick circle around me and darted off ahead in what I guessed was the direction of the city, based on what I had seen earlier. The others were quick to follow, and after a moment of hesitation myself, as was I. I couldn’t help but think of the will-o’-wisps of legend who led travelers astray, but pushed such thoughts aside. There was no room for doubt now. I’d wasted too much time already.

The journey was slow going, as the Landvæittir danced in and out of sight, weaving through the trees I could barely see. The forest surrounding us was unnervingly quiet, with only the occasional rustle. I resisted several urges to turn back. It was a long trip by horseback, and a much longer one on foot, but we finally reached the open fields that encircled the city. The Landvæittir slowed, sticking closer to me than they had before. This was evidently foreign terrain for them. I was grateful they would go so far to help me. I flipped up the hood of my cloak in case we encountered anyone on the road, though I saw not a single soul. 

As the first few buildings became clear, the Landvæittir came to a stop, hovering behind me. They would not go any further. I glanced between them and the city. Nothing seemed amiss. There were some lanterns lit in various windows, and the streets were clear as far as I could see. It seemed as though Malekith had not succeeded. I could breathe a little easier. That was, until a hand grabbed my forearm. My mouth was covered before I could cry out in surprise.

The person’s grip loosened quickly and I whipped around to see piercing gold eyes gleaming brightly. I breathed a shaky sigh of relief, “Heimdall. You scared the hell out of me.”

“I meant not to frighten you, my lady.” He replied, eyeing the knife I held up defensively with a slight grin of amusement. I hadn’t even realized I’d pulled it out. I put it away quickly, embarrassed. 

“You saw me coming?”

“I did indeed. I’ve been awaiting your arrival for some time now.”

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

We both glanced behind me, to where the Landvæittir still hovered anxiously.

“I see you’ve made some friends.”

I nodded sheepishly and took a step towards them.

“Thank you, my friends. I’m beyond grateful for your help.” I bowed my head towards my guides. The one who had been first to show the way; their leader, who glowed slightly brighter than the others, came forward and just barely brushed my forehead. A series of unintelligible, breathy words were whispered. A blessing and a goodbye. I bowed my head once again and watched as they darted away back towards the forest. I turned back to Heimdall once I could no longer see them, and was shoved into the gravity of the situation all over again. I stood in front of him, not sure what came next, mulling over the questions I knew needed to be asked, but dreading what their answers might be. Surely if he had met me here, he knew what I was doing, or what I intended to do. He was all-seeing, and progressively all-knowing. Just as the bitter tasting words started to take form, he spared me the trouble of speaking them out loud. 

“He is alive.”

I felt like my feet might leave the ground with how light I became when the weight shifted off of me. 

“Where is he?”

“The prisons below the palace.”

“And Frigga?”

“Gravely injured, but alive due to his intervention.”

Thank God, at least this hadn’t been for nothing. Although, that brought up even more pressing questions. I frowned, “Why would Odin imprison him if he saved Frigga?”

He pinned me in place with a steady and gravely serious look, “I cannot speak on the All-Father’s behalf, but I suspect that in his despair he has made some unfounded accusations and pinned much of the blame for these events on Loki.”

Damn Odin. Every time I thought I couldn’t dislike him any more than I already did he proved me wrong. Now I had to find a way to get into the palace and break Loki out of prison. A nearly impossible feat, I imagined. Unless…

“Plans for treason tomorrow?” I asked quietly, a hint of mischief in my voice.

“I know of a few who may be able to help.”

“Wonderful.”

 

Heimdall led me through the streets of the city. We passed very few people on our journey, and those we did kept their heads down and their pace fast. As we made our way further in, I noticed more and more buildings displaying damage from the battle that had raged earlier that day, rubble spilling out onto our path. It felt like an entirely different place; so far from the cheery, golden utopia I’d left behind. It was saddening.  
Heimdall spoke after several minutes of silence, “Do you know what they said?”

I glanced up at him, my brows drawn together, “Who?”

“Your friends.”

“The Landvæittir? No. You do, I presume?”

“They are always willing to help the one who helped them.”

“But I’ve never…” I frowned further, going over my previous interactions with the creatures in my mind and trying to figure out what they could have meant.

“Not here nor now. But at some point you have, and perhaps will.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, “You know, you’re very vague sometimes. And by sometimes, I mean all of the time.”

He cracked a smile, flashing brilliant white teeth, “That is not the first time you’ve informed me of such.”

“Seriously.” I couldn’t help but smile as well.

“My apologies. Landvæittir travel freely amongst all that exists, and all that ever will. They may have known you long before you met them.” He paused, his amusement vanishing, “It is difficult to stay grounded when I can see everything that is happening in this universe and, now, an infinite number of others. I am not always aware of what has happened here and what has not, especially on a night like tonight.”

A feeling of dread clawed its way into me, “What do you mean, a night like tonight?”

“Tonight has many outcomes.” He stared straight ahead, and it was like he had fled himself. His eyes became blank, his stride a little mechanical. It was terrifying. I’d seen it before, when I had first met him, on the outskirts of Asgard. It was nighttime then too. I’d never considered what he had to deal with, sorting through so many events in so many different timelines. Of course he’d be so vague, so detached. He came back after another fearful moment, “Worry not, things are going well thus far.”

My worries weren’t alleviated, but I did my best not to let him know that. Instead, I thought of how advantageous this moment was. It had been a long time since I’d had the opportunity to talk to Heimdall, and now I had him alone. There were several questions I’d had queued up for a while.

“Heimdall, I don’t know if you would know this, but I was wondering,” I kept my sight trained on the dirt beneath my boots. The outskirts of the city lacked the stone roads of the innermost parts, “the dreams I’ve had. Are they things that have happened? In other realities?”

He took some time before he replied; whether it was because he was trying to figure out the answer or if it was because it was a very serious matter, I knew not, “... Yes.”

“Loki’s as well?” I closed my eyes briefly as I said it, bracing myself for his response.

“Yes.”

My heart constricted, “... Does what we’ve seen… have a chance of being our future?”

He hesitated, “In some instances, perhaps.”

I’d feared as much, “Don’t tell him.”

“As you wish.”

We walked in silence for some time longer, and though I hadn’t been thrilled by what I’d learned so far, my curiosity proved itself stronger than anything that might hold me back.

“Why do we have them?”

“I suspect that your travels between realities, or perhaps just your knowledge of them, may have opened your minds as mine has been opened.”  
Interesting. I wondered how many other versions of myself, and Loki, were plagued with such dreams, and whether or not they knew what they meant. Which led to another question.

“Do we always end up meeting?”

“I assume you’re referring to yourself and Prince Loki?”

I felt embarrassed all of a sudden, “Uh-- well-- yeah.”

He didn’t seem to notice, “At first I thought not, but evidence has proven the contrary. It seems to be a fixed point in the workings of the universe. Although, the circumstances are not always the same.”

I couldn’t imagine in what other circumstances I’d encounter him, especially when at least two that I knew of involved him being a fictional character in my mind. Although, I supposed that the me who’d written about us could live in a world where he wasn’t a fictional character. Perhaps even a world where the whole Marvel universe coincided with her. She did have a Black Widow poster above her bed… Maybe it was in admiration of a real life person.

Turning a corner, we began approaching one of the few lit homesteads. A guard in colors that were not those of the throne stood at the door, watching us silently. This must have been our destination. Panicked that I may never have such an opportunity again, I grabbed Heimdall’s arm. He stopped, looking down at me with that heavy gaze of his.

“I’m sorry, one more question--” The back of my neck prickled and a shiver went through me as the question of gravest importance forced its way out, “I mean, I have to know-- have we-- have I--?” I released my grip on him, running my fingers through my hair instead, “It’s just, I’ve seen some terrible things. And he’s seen things that he will barely talk about. I need to know that we aren’t headed towards those things. That we’ve made the right choices.”

My heart pounded in my ears as I waited an eternity. Planets caved in on themselves. The Earth and Asgard alike were but dry husks of a former glory. The stars burned and died. The universe expanded and then contracted to a single dense, black point. Only when there was nothing left, did his answer come.

He placed a hand on my shoulder, “There is too much to come to say for certain what will and will not be. I know that is not what you want to hear, but allow me to impart upon you some wisdom: They are separate for a reason; not everything that happens in one, happens in another.”  
It was a little infuriating to have the very advice I’d given to Loki turned around and given to me, but I knew Heimdall was right.  
“I hope you haven’t listened in on everything.” I quipped after squishing my resentment and burying it deep down.

He merely shrugged and lifted the hood of his cloak, continuing forward towards to the guard. I quickly did the same so as not to appear hostile. The guard nodded once, his dark eyes deeply shadowed, and stepped aside. Heimdall gestured for me to follow. As if I would have stayed out here in the eerily quiet alley. A short, low-ceilinged hallway led to a poorly lit, cramped room consisting of a roughly constructed wooden table and chairs. Several people sat around the table, a few with mugs in front of them. A fire burned down to coals in a far corner, casting flickering shadows on the stone walls. It was warm, which was a comfort after the chill of the outside.

Volstagg, Sif, Fandral, and Hogun all looked up from their conversation to see us enter. Their faces were undeniably pictures of pure confusion. Thor, who had his back towards us, caught sight of their expressions and turned in his seat. He stood quickly, looking wary, “Is this some sort of trick?” The others slowly rose, hands on their weapons.

I was dumbfounded. I’d thought for sure that Thor would be overjoyed to see me, if not a little miffed that I’d left without telling him anything. “What?”

“This is no trick.” Heimdall replied, holding up his hand, seeming to understand exactly what was going on.

“You let me believe--? All this time?” 

“I could not risk telling you the truth. It was safer this way.”

Thor glanced between the two us, unsure for only a moment. Then he was rushing forward, grabbing my upper arms and lifting me clear off the ground, “I thought you dead!” He pulled me into a tight hug that smothered my questions before I could even open my mouth.

“Thor-- you’re hurting me.”

“Oh! Of course.” He loosened his hold and I was finally back on solid ground. He still underestimated his own strength. I was glad to see not much had changed.

“You thought I was dead?” I squinted up at him, confused. 

He rubbed the back of his neck, abashed, “We all assumed the worst.”

“And that meant believing me dead?”

“Well, with the events that occurred the night before your disappearance..”

“What?” I asked without thinking further about what he’d said.

“And Loki disappearing the next day..” 

It clicked. I actually laughed in astonishment, “You thought he-- killed-- me?”

Thor gestured helplessly.

I was almost speechless, “Why the fuck do you think he’d kill me? What? I-- I can’t even begin-- What? Just because we’d had a little argument?”

He scrambled to make me understand where he was coming from, “Not only the argument. I thought that because you had told him that you would no longer be a part of his games that he had managed to-- to kill you and take the ring for himself. And that was why he left Asgard.”

“Thor,” I touched his arm gently, “I gave you the ring. I don’t have it anymore. You do.”

He shook his head, “No, I don’t.”

My stomach began to feel a little queasy, “What do you mean?”

“I could not possibly take the ring from you. You had done so much with it, and I thought it best to leave it in your hands. So not moments after you gave it to me, I slipped it into your pocket.”

The hug he’d given me. Of course. No wonder Odin had been so persistent. Not only had we left Asgard against his orders, we’d taken with us his most prized possession. I closed my eyes, running a hand over my face.

“Heimdall, did you know this?”

“I was aware that Thor had re-gifted the ring, but I did not know that you were unaware of it.”

“Well, that explains a lot.”

“Where is the ring, then?” Sif asked slowly, still standing as though ready to jump into action at any moment. It worried me slightly that she still found the need to prepared. Did she think there was going to be a fight?

I shook my head, “Probably still in the pocket of my dress. I haven’t worn it since that day. It’s not exactly the type of clothing you wear on the run.” Sarcasm lightly coated the last remark.

“And that is where?” Fandral joined the conversation, his chin propped up in his palm. He and Volstagg and resumed sitting, the latter having just drained the last of whatever liquid had been in his mug.

“Um, the ship.”

“What ship?”

“Our ship.”

“Whose ship?”

I blinked, “Loki and I’s.”

Thor perked up at this, “You two have a ship?”

“How else are we supposed to travel…?”

No one had an answer to that.

“Thor,” Sif said, grabbing the blond’s attention, “I hesitate to trust her if she has been in league with your brother.”

“Excuse me?” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“I must agree with Sif. It is suspicious that they should show up on the same day as Malekith’s attack on the city. We must act with caution. Loki has betrayed us in the past. For all we know, this is a ploy to weaken our forces and take the throne.” Hogun added solemnly.

“This is ridiculous. We came here to protect those who would be harmed by Malekith, not to fucking join forces with him.”

“How would you have known of the impending attack? And why wouldn’t you have warned anyone?”

Damn. Good questions. I ran my tongue over my teeth as I attempted to figure out how best to word my answer. There was always the chance they wouldn’t believe me.

“Because…” I said, before my hesitance made them any more suspicious than they already were, “Where I’m from, we have… stories… of the events that occur here, but they’ve proven to be inaccurate in the past. I knew the attack was a possibility, and I knew that Frigga was likely to die in it should it happen. I didn’t warn anyone because I didn’t know when or if it would happen, and I figured no one would believe me anyway.”

“No one would believe you? That’s your excuse?” Volstagg demanded, pounding his fist on the table loudly, and making me jump, “Good men died for such foolishness!”

I narrowed my eyes, “Listen here, you all barely paid me any mind when I was around you, and Odin despised me. Still does, in fact, due to a misunderstanding. So, please, raise your hand if you would have taken any warning I might have given you to heart?”

None of them dared to move a muscle. I smiled bitterly in response, but refrained from voicing my obvious triumph.

“Mother was destined to die?” Thor asked in a hushed tone. I softened as I turned my attention to him, “Yes, that’s why we risked coming back here.”

Fandral was the first of the warriors to speak up, “Heimdall, is this all true?”

“It is my lord.” 

A silence fell over the room, broken only by the sharp crackle of the fire. Eventually, Thor nodded to himself, as if he had decided something, “Hogun, inform Amora we no longer require her assistance.”

“Of course.” He bowed his head slightly and quickly departed, brushing past Heimdall and I. Sif seemed alarmed, “Has there been a change in plans?”

Thor laid his hands flat on the table’s surface, leaning forward and giving us all a serious look, “Yes. The plan is now to free Loki, and ask for his help in getting to Svartalfheim.” He turned to me amid the objections from the remaining warriors, “That is, I assume, why you came to us tonight?”

I bit my lip, feeling a little embarrassed for a reason I could not fathom. He smiled, “Alright then, I’ll let you in on what we’re going to do.”

 

“Thor.” I whispered as we snuck through the palace, taking pathways normally reserved for servants. It would have been much easier for Thor to go alone, I had even insisted as much; no one would have questioned him, and he could have taken a much more direct route. But he was as stubborn as his brother, and wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

“Yes?” He peered around a corner. A servant woman with a basket of cloth in her arms disappeared through a doorway ahead of us, the door closing with a soft thud. We moved forward quietly and descended a flight of spiraling stone steps that were off to the left. The walls were so narrow that Thor’s broad shoulders nearly touched the stone they were constructed from.

“I wanted to apologize, for not telling you everything. You deserved more.” I admitted, my shoulders slumped. I felt so unbelievably guilty. He stopped suddenly, turning as best he could in the tight quarters, and gifting me a smile, “Thank you, but you need not apologize. I understand why you chose to keep such a secret. Any one person knowing may have jeopardized your plans, even me.”

“But--”

He shushed me, “No, I will not hear it.” I clamped my mouth shut. He continued down the stairs and I followed after a moment. We arrived at a wide, but low-ceilinged hall. The stones were all a dark, endless gray. Not even the occasional tapestry broke their expanse. 

“So, where did you go?”

“Hmm?”

“Once you left Asgard.”

“Oh,” I tried my best to remember the names of all the different places we’d gone, “Xandar, Korbin, Dervani, Ria--”

“Ah.” Thor exclaimed, interrupting.

“What?”

“I thought at the time I was imagining it, or perhaps seeing a ghost, but,” He pulled something out from his armor, “I now know otherwise.”

My eyes widened at the sight of the necklace he held. Small, dark red stones were held together with pieces of delicate silver chain. He handed it over to me and I stared down at it in surprise, “I hadn’t even realized I’d dropped it. I thought maybe I’d just misplaced it somewhere on the ship…”

“I found it in the market on Ria, not too long after seeing two suspicious looking figures disappear. I had hoped I might be able to return it to you someday.”

“Thank you.” I tucked the necklace away so that I would not lose it again.

“You’re very welcome.”

We came to the end of the hall, where two guards stood at the top of a short flight of steps. Thor knocked them unconscious without any visible effort. 

“The prisons are just beyond these stairs.” He said. Before he’d even had a chance to finish his sentence I was rushing down the steps, my black cloak catching the air and taking on the appearance of a cape. I reached the bottom, a long hall of yellow walled prisons extending far beyond my line of sight. Luckily, the one I was looking for was the first on the left. 

“Loki!” His head snapped up at the sound of my voice. He stood from where he had been sitting on the floor and met me by the far wall of his cell, only the wavering barrier of clearish yellow energy between us. I couldn’t remember how it worked, so I didn’t dare touch it, though it was tempting. He was so close. It was a little silly, even to me, how much I’d missed him in such a short span of time. But we hadn’t been apart for more than an hour, at most, since we’d left Asgard nearly six months prior. A day had felt like far too long.

“Little bird,” He smiled softly, then glanced anxiously around the room where other prisoners watched with only mild interest, “what are you doing here?”

“I should be asking you the same thing. You weren’t supposed to get caught.”

“Would you believe me if I said I tried my hardest not to?”

“Maybe. Regardless, I’m furious. And the temptation to say ‘I told you so’ is very strong.”

“I expect nothing less. I hope you might find it within you to forgive me.”

“I’ll have to think about it.”

“How did you get past the guards?”

I glanced behind me, at the steps. I hadn’t realized it, but Thor had held back, only just now reaching the bottom of the stairs. Loki stepped away as though he had been burned, putting distance between us, “Thor, I hadn’t expected to see you.”

“I wasn’t planning on coming, but some new information has come to light.”

“Oh? So you see now that I am, in fact, not a murderer?”

“In all fairness, you have a history of doing unsavory things in order to get what you want. Including murder.”

“Glad to hear you still think so little of me, brother.”

Thor smiled, although not in a friendly way. It was a foreign expression from him. Quite frankly, it made me uncomfortable. He came to stand at my side, “Here’s my offer: help me get Jane to Svartalfheim and you are free to go where you please.”

“Deal.”

“Good. I couldn’t imagine you’d refuse, but I had to ask.”

 

We hurried down endless corridors and skirted the wide expanses of courtyards. As saddening as it was, the deaths that Malekith had inflicted upon the city proved to be to our advantage. Most citizens were gathered at home, mourning the loss of their loved ones, and leaving our path clear of anyone who might oppose us. Finally we met up with Sif and Jane.

“The guards are still unawares, but it is only a matter of time.” Sif reported as soon as we reached her, her shield held ready. Thor was hardly paying any attention though, his focus on the brunette woman who was beaming up at him. Jane was a little different than her portrayal; short, but not as dainty. She was still exceedingly beautiful, but with a much more serious, academic look. Natalie Portman had been more… high-spirited? I couldn’t find the right word, but this Jane had a calculating intelligence behind her eyes that made her intimidating.

She turned to me, her eyes widening slightly behind a pair of glasses, “Hellfire. I wasn’t expecting to see any other Avengers. Are you from here?”

I blinked, “Uh, no, just passing through.”

“Oh.” She looked up at Loki. He gave her a devilish smile, “I don’t believe we’ve met--”

He caught her hand before she could slap him, “That won’t be necessary.”

She ripped it from his grasp, “New York--”

“Not actually his fault.” I interjected, glancing up at him, “Not totally. Are they really still pinning the blame on you?”

“It seems I’ve become the universal scapegoat for all wrongdoings.” 

“For good reason.” Sif muttered under her breath.

Thor placed a hand on Jane’s shoulder, “We really must be going.”

We started down the hall, Sif staying behind in order to hold back anyone who might try to follow us. At one point, Jane stumbled, her foot catching the fabric of her dress. Thor reached forward and grabbed her wrist, helping her get her balance back. I heard her mutter something along the lines of “These dresses are ridiculous” under her breath.

I nearly laughed, thinking of my own experiences with dresses my first week in Asgard, “They really are.”

We reached a large room divided up by enormous columns. Near the edge was a crashed dark elf ship surrounded by rubble. In front of the ship stood Volstagg, like in the movie, but unlike the movie, there was a tall, blonde woman next to him. Thor and Loki both slowed down considerably when they caught sight of her.

Volstagg opened his mouth to say something, but the blonde woman cut him off, “Thor.” Her smile was wide, but not at all inviting. There was something predatory about it.

“Amora.” Thor replied, frowning. He was confused, but also on the defensive. His shoulders had stiffened and there was an edge to his demeanor. Amora. I didn’t recognize her, but I did recognize her name, from conversations held the night before. Thor had ordered Hogun to inform Amora she was no longer needed. Evidently, she hadn’t gotten the message.

“I sent word to you last night that we were no longer in need of your assistance.”

Loki’s eyes widened and he shot a look at Thor. Her mouth twisted, as though she were trying to hide a scowl of annoyance, “Yes, I see you’ve acquired new help.” She took a step forward, green high heeled boots clicking against stone floors. The sound was loud in the tense silence between words. “I was just surprised, is all. You know as well as anyone you can never trust a snake.” She hissed the last few words, directing her venom towards Loki, “Even the ones who like to play house with mice.”

Playing house with mice? Was she referring to me? Her gaze drifted to me; skimmed me over as if sizing me up. I crossed my arms over my chest, fingering the fabric of my sleeves. Amusement lit up her face. Loki moved forward slightly, taking a step that was just slightly off to the side so that he was positioned partially in front of me. He answered my question with that one move alone.

I could no longer see his expression, but the sharpness of his tone revealed everything, “I think you forget the position you’re in.”

She cocked her head to the side, not completely dismissing the threat, but not ignoring it entirely, “I’m not the one committing treason, silly prince.”

“That is enough, Amora. I ask that you leave, immediately.” Thor commanded. She faltered a little, slinking up to him with a pout on her vibrant pink lips, “You know he’ll betray you at the slightest opportunity. I’m only trying to protect you and your…” She gave Jane a dismissive glance, “... precious human.”

“Excuse me--?” Jane started to say, but Thor silenced her with a light touch to her arm. He glanced back at Loki and I, before turning on her with a renewed confidence, “We will take our chances.”

“Take your leave, enchantress.” Said Volstagg, finding his voice and hefting his axe threateningly.

She dropped all pretense, “I could easily inform the Allfather of your transgressions. With just a snap of my fingers.” She held up her hand, long fingers poised as though to snap. Her nails were more like claws, painted red like the blood of those she might maul.

“Keep in mind the consequences of such an action.” Loki snapped, losing his patience with her. She smiled that predatory smile once again, but this time it was tinged with hesitance, fear, “Only if you keep in mind yours.” 

The tension in the room was palpable, and the air was suddenly cold. So cold it seemed as though even time had frozen. Finally Amora sighed, as if bored with the whole situation, “Fine. Until next time.” Her eyes flashed dangerously, and she sauntered away, disappearing around a nearby corner. 

We all collectively took a breath, finally free to breathe now that she was gone. Loki immediately turned on Thor accusingly, “You went to Amora for help in this matter?”

“You weren’t exactly readily available.” Thor growled back.

“The guards.” Volstagg warned, nodding his head at the entrance behind us. Only then did I become aware of the pounding of boots. We had been found out. Without another word, we all boarded the ship, Volstagg staying on the ground and guarding our backs. 

Like its makers, the ship was dark. The walls were black in color, and only light came from the display panel up at the front. Thor immediately went about trying to get it running; Loki joining him, putting their argument aside for another time. Jane stood hesitantly beside me, suddenly seeming very weary as she swayed a bit. I held out my arm, offering it to her so that she might be able to keep her balance. She took it gratefully.

The ride was just as tumultuous as I had expected. I was hit with flashbacks of the Battle of New York, when the quinjet had gone down due to Tony’s arrogance. Somehow, the stakes felt much higher here than they had there. 

The plan was much the same as it had been in the movie. Take the secret passageway that Loki knew of to the Dark World. We might have taken a portal we created ourselves, except that Odin had had Frigga put a spell over the whole of Asgard, preventing such, and there wasn’t time to deconstruct it. It was really quite clever, the spell. It wouldn’t allow one to create a portal within the limits of Asgard, but it did allow one to travel to Asgard through a portal. It essentially trapped anyone who should dare to come into the city, making their only option of escape either the Bifrost, which was, of course, heavily guarded, or a ship, which was what Loki and I had planned on doing before he got caught.

We came to the point where it was time to abandon ship. Thor yanked open the door as we flew over the Bifrost. The waters below rushed by in a blur. “Ready?” He didn’t wait for an answer, scooping a disoriented Jane up into his arms. 

“It’s just like portal traveling.” Loki whispered in my ear as I hesitated to move towards the opening. I let out a nervous laugh as he took my arm, “Yeah, except more death.”

“It’ll be fine.”

“You better not drop me.”

“I would never.”

We jumped.

 

When we finally wedged our way through the cave that held the entrance to the Dark World, clinging to the smaller ship as our lives depended on it, things finally slowed down. Svartalfheim was truly a dark world. The landscape was utterly barren, with only the skeletons of great war ships peaking out beneath the shifting dirt. The sky held only the red ring of a sun blocked by eclipse. The air was cool and stale, with very little moisture.  
We came to a stop on top of a hill that overlooked a large valley. I felt unsteady on my feet after the crazy movement of the ships. Jane had fared much worse. She looked down right sickly and could barely stand. The way Thor worried over her broke my heart.

“Listen,” Loki said quietly. I kept my focus on the two in front of me, prodding him to speak a little louder, though not loud enough anyone else could overhear, “we’re taking a portal back to the ship. With mother injured they have no one to track them, and they won’t be expecting us to return so quickly.”

Now he had my full attention. I spun on my heel, looking up at him with wide eyes, “You want to leave them alone to deal with this?”

“I do not want to risk going against Malekith, and I especially do not want you to be anywhere near him.”

“They will die.” I hissed, trying not to speak above a whisper, “They will die and Malekith will destroy everything. No. I’m not leaving.” I ground my foot into the ground.

Loki looked over my shoulder at them, his lips pressed into a thin line. Finally his green eyes found mine again, “What do you want to do?”  
I was surprised. Usually in matters such as this one he was unyielding, but I supposed my point was not one that could be argued with. Or perhaps he’d learned in lesson after getting caught yesterday.

“Stay with them. Willingly give Malekith the reality stone. Send them to Earth where they’ll have the resources to defeat him.”

“And what if Malekith decides to kill us all in order to tie up any loose ends?”

That gave me pause, “What if… What if we used the portals for something other than traveling?”

“I’m not following.”

“You never asked, so I never bothered to either, but do you know what happened to that woman who attacked us? Before I told you to leave?”

He frowned, “No, I don’t. I just assumed that she followed me and got lost or sent to the destination I was meant for.”

“After you went through, she caught on pretty quickly and tried to follow you. Before she got to the portal, I started erasing the symbols.” A look of horror crossed his face as he must have realized what such a thing could do. Since that seemed to be the case, I spared him the gory details, “She died. Nearly instantly. It was… horrifying.” A shiver came over me as I heard the woman’s screams echo through my mind once more. It had been a long time since I’d heard them.

“Do you see what I mean though?”

He nodded slowly, a pensive look crossing his face, “I do.”

“Do you think it would work?”

“It just might.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: 
> 
> I'd just like to make a shoutout to Delaney for adding a song to this story's playlist!
> 
> And I'd like to remind everyone else that you're free to add any songs you find relevant! (Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkLljI0RTlRYVhrPD93MuHl9clviJQSzZ&jct=MUzpRZB8cSKGScZ3FDIsQmDtx7s_hQ)
> 
> Thank you all for your support!


	24. Chapter 24

Thor lay writhing on the ground, clutching his wrist as though his hand had been truly severed from it. It was all a ploy, of course. Defeating Malekith was the objective, and while it would be much easier to do it while he was still without the reality gem, we needed it removed from Jane and he was the only one who could do it. So, we had decided to play it by the book, or rather, the movie, for now. Thor had been skeptical, but it hadn’t taken long to convince him. I only hoped that the plan worked. 

Loki pushed Jane roughly to the ground, “We ask only for a seat from which to watch Asgard fall.”

Malekith studied us carefully, trying to see whether or not we could be trusted. I stood next to Loki, only a step back. My arms were crossed in an attempt to look stoic and intimidating. I did my best to send poisonous glances in Thor’s direction. It had been some time since I’d had to do any acting, and never had it been in a life or death situation like such. The sound of the blood rushing in my ears as my heart went into overdrive was nearly enough to drown out all other sounds. I prayed they couldn’t tell how nervous I was.

One of the dark elves, a huge, terrifying looking monster, leaned in and said something to Malekith. Their language was similar to the one spoken by the elves on Alfheimr. Enough that I could understand the gist of what they said. Apparently it was quickly becoming common knowledge that Odin hated our guts. For once it was to our advantage. Malekith turned his inspection to Thor, taking a few steps closer to where the blond rolled in the dirt; I had to give him credit, he was quite the performer. 

Finally Malekith nodded to himself, having decided that this was all what it seemed, and began the extraction process on Jane. It hadn’t appeared so on film, but the whole ordeal was horrifying. Jane’s face contorted in pain, her hair sticking up around her head, held by some invisible force. Her back arched and her eyes turned black. The tendons in her hands and neck stood tall and rigid. I couldn’t help but grimace at the sight. 

When the reality gem was fully separated from Jane, she dropped onto the ground in a disheveled heap. I tried not to wince. Since we’d explained to Thor that it couldn’t be so easily destroyed, there was no revealing of our deception. Not quite yet. Instead we watched as Malekith took the reality gem for himself, his eyes turning the same black Jane’s had been but a few moments before. It was hard to watch the villain take what he wanted without intervening, but it was what had to happen. The suggestion had been made earlier to simply get the reality gem through a portal and away from Malekith, but then we would only be prolonging the inevitable. He’d turn on us for our betrayal, and if we failed to kill him, then he would merely seek it out. If we succeeded, he may be out of the picture, but it left the reality gem vulnerable to another, possibly greater, villain taking it. And then who knew what kind of adversity we might face; certainly one we didn’t understand as well as we understood Malekith. 

“Now.”

Thor’s hand re-appeared, and he leapt to his feet, snatching Mjolnir from the ground in one smooth move. In a powerful upswing, he caught Malekith off guard and knocked him back a large distance, into the side of his very own ship. Then, after casting a brief, worried glance over his shoulder, he took flight. Electricity began to gather in the air. I ran forward and yanked Jane to her feet as Loki faced the rest of Malekith’s men alone. I did my best not to hesitate as I pulled Jane from the impending fight. The sooner I opened the portal, the sooner he would be out of danger. Time was of the essence. 

I dropped to the ground where the beginnings of a portal were already scratched into the stone. It was more difficult, creating one without a pre-existing doorway, but not impossible. Jane hovered over my shoulder. While I couldn’t see her, I could tell by her sharp intakes of breath that she was watching the fight. It took everything I had not to turn and watch with her. I grabbed the abandoned rock we’d been using earlier and began the process of finishing the portal.

In the distance, a huge boom pervaded the air and not too long after, the ground shook with the force of Malekith’s ship falling apart. I couldn’t help myself this time, I glanced over my shoulder. Loki had slain three of Malekith’s followers. In fact, as I watched, he brutally impaled the third on his own spear, grinning victoriously. Another two had gone to help their master and failed, leaving Loki only two more opponents. There was a long cut along the side of his face, but otherwise he seemed unharmed. Thor was headed back towards us, having done his part in destroying the dark elves’ only form of escape. Malekith followed closely behind him. I was running out of time.

I whipped back around and finished the last two symbols with shaking hands. The portal came to life, throwing out the all too familiar orange sparks. I stepped back, turning my attention to Jane, “Go. Now.”

She hesitated, “Are you sure it’s safe?”

“Yes,” I said firmly, not allowing any doubt to seep through my voice, “Trust me. I’ve seen an unstable one up close. This one will get you safely to Earth, just keep your destination in mind.”

She nodded and took a step forward, preparing herself to travel home, but I grabbed her arm before she could go any further, “Listen, once you get to the other side, get as far away as possible from the portal. I don’t know what might come through to the other side after you.”

That sparked fear in her eyes, but she accepted my words with another nod. I let go of her arm and watched as she disappeared into the gaping black void. Hearing her scream made me cringe, but it was necessary. I wasted no time in turning around, “The portal to Midgard, its open!”  
That got everyone’s attention, Malekith included. Loki, still battling the last two dark elf soldiers, momentarily threw out his hand in my direction. I quickly swiped my foot over the ground, partially erasing one of the symbols, and stepped back. An illusion of myself remained for a few seconds, and then jumped into the portal as though following Jane back to Earth. I screamed as she had. While the portal still looked stable to the outside observer, I could see it turn darker and more menacing, hissing and flickering like it had so long ago. Images of the woman popped into my mind, but I tried to push them aside and focus on the present.

Loki and Thor abandoned their respective fights and began sprinting towards the portal. I had already begun moving away from it, making sure to keep absolutely silent. Malekith shouted for his last men to follow, and began making a move himself. The smaller, faster dark elf soldier pushed Loki to the ground as they neared the portal, and made the leap himself. His cries of pain echoed in the desolate valley. As we had hoped, this did not deter Malekith. He had heard Jane and I’s screams prior, and thought nothing of his own soldier screaming as well, blind to the true horror behind the illusion. I did my best to avert my eyes when it happened, but I still caught glimpse of the creature’s face contorted in pain, and felt a stab of remorse for having caused such suffering. Then I remembered what it would have readily done to me or the one I loved, and shoved that feeling away forcefully.

Malekith having caught up to the other two, pushed them far from the portal with the power of the reality gem, not bothering to concern himself with killing them. His task, first and foremost, was getting to Earth to continue his plan. 

“Loki, close the portal!” Thor yelled desperately, as if that wasn’t the last thing he wanted his brother to do.

“I am trying!” Loki yelled back, as if that weren’t the last thing he wanted to do.

I watched with breathless anticipation as Malekith drew closer and closer to the portal, his last soldier only a few steps ahead of him. Just a couple more seconds, and he would be dead, and this nightmare would be over.

Suddenly it was nothing but bright light, and a blast that threw me to the ground several feet from where I’d been standing. I managed to skid to a stop, bloodying my hands in the process and accidentally inhaling a mouthful of dry dirt. I coughed violently and started to push myself up when a scream caught my attention. The last dark elf soldier. The blast had thrown him partially into the portal, which was now without any illusion. The light from the still open Bifrost illuminated his features in stark detail as he howled in pain, the lower half of his body obliterated. Malekith, already on his feet or perhaps having never been thrown off them in this first place, moved as though in slow motion. His eyes drifted from his dying underling, to the slowly collapsing portal, to me. I scrambled back as best I could. He knew it had all been a trap. He was going to kill us.

Instead of attacking, however, he merely turned to the pulsing light of the still open Bifrost and stuck his hand in it. His face, usually emotionless, twisted in concentration. Red lines of energy from the reality stone appeared along his arm and a portal to Earth, similar to the ones the movie depicted in the sky during the final battle in England, appeared. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Thor rise from the ground just as Malekith stepped through. There was no time to waste.

“Thor!” I yelled, feeling the remnants of the dirt I had inhaled scratch my throat. I directed his attention to Malekith with the point of a finger. Though I didn’t say it out-loud, he understood. Whoever was coming through the Bifrost was likely going to restrain us. Malekith would get away, and there would be no other opportunities to stop him. Thor had the best chance at defeating him. He needed to follow. His face looked torn. He knew what might happen to us, but saving the nine realms was ultimately more important. He launched himself through the portal after Malekith, moments before it disappeared.

Time sped back up to normal, and the next thing I knew was being surrounded by a swarm of Asgardian soldiers. Tired and surprised, I still managed to react with some of what the last several months had taught me. A blade through the one-on-my-right’s shoulder, a kick to the one-on-my-left’s groin; I could hardly see straight as I did my best to get away from them. In the end, they were too strong, and I was knocked unconscious by the hilt of a sword.

 

I awoke with a pounding headache and a still sore throat. It took me an embarrassingly long time, what may have been an hour, to find the will and the strength to sit up from the cold floor, but eventually I did with a wave of dizziness. My first thought upon being able to form coherent thoughts was ‘Where am I?’ and the second, more panicked thought was ‘Where is Loki?’.

I couldn’t recall much of anything beyond a few snatches of fighting and the sharp, piercing pain of being hit over the back of the head, but I was nearly certain I hadn’t seen him. Oh, no. Flashes of green cloth and black hair through the tangle of armored limbs. He had fought against the Asgardians when they had arrived. Had he been able to get away? I wasn’t sure. A glum survey of my surroundings affirmed I hadn’t. Wavering yellow walls and featureless white rooms. Asgard’s prison. Fuck.

It was hard to tell how long it had been. I was still in my clothing from the battle; dirtied black leather boots and all. My cloak dangled precariously from my left shoulder, the right clasp having been broken. Holding my hands out in front of me, I found them still scraped, although the blood had scabbed over some time ago. No longer than a day. I slowly stood, trying not to fall over as my head swam. A couple of unsteady steps forward revealed a long, empty row of prisons. I guessed they hadn’t been able to recapture many of the escapees. Or perhaps they were still rounding them up. Regardless, still no sign of the only one I cared about. 

This was not ideal. Odin would not take my treasonous actions lightly. Asgardian citizen or not, I imagined I would still be held responsible for the laws I had broken. I wasn’t well versed enough to know what punishments I might face, but I knew that Odin would not be forgiving. I had done nothing to prove myself anything but a nuisance. Most likely, he would want to be rid of me. Whether that meant being executed or sent back home was still up in the air. If he sent me home, it wouldn’t be that hard to… I spun around quickly, sending a flurry of stars dancing across my vision. Once they cleared, I searched my prison for anything I might be able to write with. 

“Seriously?” I muttered under my breath. There was nothing even remotely resembling a writing utensil. I wandered to the center of the room, pulling at my bottom lip pensively. If I’d had my satchel, I would have been set, as I always had a few pencils in there. But it must have been confiscated once I’d been knocked unconscious. Frustrated, I dropped back to the floor and sat in a daze. My mind wandered to what was to come of me now that Odin had finally caught me. I had a hard time focusing. At one point, I glanced down at my scabbed over hands, and felt an idea take shape. Blood might do the trick, but it made me nervous. I knew it was all about intent, but drawing symbols in blood in an attempt to open a portal sounded too satanic for my taste. Not to mention disgusting. This wasn’t an episode of Supernatural. 

Still, I didn’t want Loki to risk his neck trying to break me out of here, assuming he himself hadn’t been captured. What if…? No, I couldn’t allow myself to think such things. He was fine. He had evaded imprisonment and was probably thinking up ways to sneak in here this very moment. Damn it. I needed to get out of here. Odin would surely kill Loki if given the chance, and I would not allow that. Blood it would have to be.

Crouching down with my back towards the main entrance, I scratched at my one hand. A small drop of blood welled up in my palm. Hmm. This would not be enough to write out all of the symbols. I flicked my wrist, but no blade appeared. Interesting. Had I used both fighting against the soldiers? I couldn’t remember all that clearly. I flicked my other wrist and still came up empty. No blade. I grabbed at my cloak, pulling the right end around to my front. The broken clasp still dangled precariously from it, and the metal was jagged on the edge that had cracked. It might work. I took a deep breath and held the clasp over my hand, tensing at the thought of what I was about to do. Just as I pressed the sharp metal to my skin, a voice rang out.

“I would not do that if I were you.”

I frowned at the sound of Amora’s heels clicking down the hall closer and closer to where I sat crouched, the clasp still clutched tightly. Taking a moment to compose myself, I dropped what I was doing, smoothed my hair down, and stood slowly so as not to make myself dizzy again.

“And why’s that?”

She gave a glittering, snake like smile, “Because Odin made that prison magic proof. You will not be opening any portals in there, mouse. If you are even capable of doing so in the first place.”

Oh, I barely knew her but I hated her so much already. “Thanks for the tip.” I replied dryly, crossing my arms over my chest and doing my best to not show how uneasy she made me. No magic? That might explain why I couldn’t conjure my blades. Amora ignored my less than grateful response and slowly roamed closer to my prison, her focus on everything but me. After an unnerving silence, she spoke once again, “I could free you, you know.”  
I narrowed my eyes, “I imagine you’ll want something in return.” This was no question. I knew the moment she had arrived that she was here for something. It was only a matter of what.

“Well, it is only polite to offer something in return for such a generous favor.”

The last thing I wanted to do was give her something. I knew all I needed to know about her by the way Loki had reacted in her presence. She was a threat. She was not someone to be trusted, and not someone to be bargained with. Still, I needed to get out of here. Each moment spent in this cell was another moment not knowing where Loki was or if he might be in trouble; another moment spent putting both of our lives at risk. 

“And what is it that you want?”

Her face lit up, “The location of the ring.”

The ring? She wanted the ring? What was she planning to do with it? Likely nothing good. The story Thor had told me so long ago, about how the ring had been used to conquer the nine realms, came to mind. To possess the ring was to have power even Thor knew not the bounds of. With it, Amora could do whatever she pleased, and that idea didn’t sit well with me. Besides, the ring was an important bargaining chip with Odin. If Loki had been captured, it would take either a lot of firepower or an offer the Allfather couldn’t refuse to free him. And firepower would be hard to come by with Thor on Earth and Heimdall either imprisoned or in hiding after his betrayal.

“Yeah, no.”

“What?”

“No deal.”

A dangerous look crossed her face, and it seemed as though a light breeze drifted through, as her hair began to move on its own, “You know I could easily find it without you. A relic such as that one gives off an undeniable energy signature.”

“Why even bother talking to me then?” I lifted my chin and straightened my shoulders. I would not let her think I was intimidated.

“Any friend of Thor’s is a friend of mine. I want to help you.” Said with an amicable smile, as though I hadn’t noticed the wave of fury that had overcome her but a moment ago when I had denied her offer. 

“If you truly could find it on your own, you would have it already.” I undid the intact side of my cloak and let it fall to the floor in a disheveled heap before kneeling back down like I had been before she arrived. There was no way to tell if she had been telling the truth about magic. In fact, it was possible it had been a lie just to make me believe I needed her. It was better to test it myself; and the sooner, the better. I picked up the broken clasp and began the agonizing process of cutting my palm.

“You will not--” The loud bang of a closing door cut her off and made me jump. I forced the metal a little too deep in my surprise and winced, dropping it to the floor. A quick survey of the hall revealed a trio of guards making their way towards us. Or, rather, me, as Amora had disappeared in the blink of an eye. I clenched my bloodied hand and hid it behind my back, feeling warm liquid run in between my fingers.

 

I was pushed and paraded down long halls towards the throne room. The guards kept their hands at the hilts of their swords. I was a threat. A pleasing notion, considering the last time I’d been in the palace everyone had seen me as weak and insignificant. Although, my head still spun as it had when I had awoken. I doubted I could put up much of a fight.

Odin spent a good full minute glaring down at me once we arrived. The guard on my left informed me that I should kneel, but I blatantly ignored him. Luckily he didn’t force me to my knees, because at this point I wasn’t sure I would be able to get up if he did. 

“What have you to say for yourself?” Odin finally asked, his voice loud and commanding.

I hadn’t been anticipating a question. I felt like a scolded child. Perhaps it was rhetorical? The seconds ticking by as he waited expectantly said otherwise.

All of the snappy remarks I had planned in my head vanished, “I-- uh.. Um.”

“I allow you to stay here under the guise of diplomacy with Midgard and you not only steal an Asgardian relic, but you do so alongside a criminal with a history of attempting to take this throne and committing acts of violence. To add further insult, you return to Asgard and set free prisoners, helping them escape and rendezvous with Malekith, whose only desire is to see this and all other realms plunged into darkness.”

“I--”

“Now Malekith possess the reality gem, and is awaiting the Convergence to make his move as we speak.”

Now he was pissing me off a little. He was making a grand show of blaming all of Asgard’s issues on Loki and I, despite the fact that we were only trying to help fix things. I couldn’t let him continue.

“Wait just a fucking minute,” I demanded, “We only came back because Frigga was prophesied to die by Malekith’s hand in his attack on the city. An attack that could have been prevented if you had only listened to Thor--”

“How dare you presume--”

“Malekith would have only attacked again and again until he got what he wanted, and considering how well you handled the first one, I imagine it wouldn’t have taken him long. The reality stone needed to be separated from Jane. Malekith was the only one who could do it.”  
“Now he is more powerful than ever before!”

“He wouldn’t be if you hadn’t come storming to Svar--” I took a deep breath so as not to slaughter the name, “Svartalfheim. It was with the Bifrost that he was able to escape. We had destroyed his ship and set a trap he was seconds from falling into. He would be dead.  
“And I couldn’t care less about the ring. I gave it to Thor on the day I left--”

“Are you insinuating that my son has been keeping it from me?”

“No! No, he gave it back to me without my knowledge. I didn’t even know I had it until he told me what he did the other day.”

He stood up from the throne dramatically, slamming the end of his staff into the ground with a resounding crack, “Then where is it?”

I clenched my fists, causing pain to shoot up my arm from my injured palm. Blood dripped onto the floor, “Where is Loki?”

He didn’t reply immediately, and my heart felt like it was being squeezed. It was as though he was considering whether I was worth answering. Eventually he must of thought it beneficial. Smart. I wouldn’t have given him the answer to his question otherwise.

“Imprisoned.”

“I didn’t see him.”

“In another part of the palace. I thought it best to keep you apart.”

Again, smart. I considered whether he told the truth or not. If Loki had evaded capture, it would be embarrassing for Odin to admit it. Ultimately, in the deal I was about to strike, it didn’t matter.

“I’ll show you where the ring is and in return, you let us both go free.” I wasn’t naive enough to believe he would agree to letting us go first. He would only accept this order of events, if he accepted it at all. And if he had lied. If Loki wasn’t a captor here, then I would at least be allowed to go free, and I could find him. Somehow. He had to be alive. I couldn’t imagine Odin would hide it had he died.

“You think me so foolish as to set you free?”

I scowled, “What? You think he-- we’ll come back? For what? The throne? Tell me this, if that was our endgame, then why try to give the ring back in the first place? Disregarding the fact that Thor returned it to me without me knowing.”

“A lie to deem you worthy of trust.”

“Okay, assuming that is a lie and we had it all along,” I was becoming animated in my annoyance, holding my arms out, one fist clenched, “why would we have left in the first place? It would have been much easier to attack before any of you considered me a traitor. Leaving only put me, us, under further scrutiny, and certainly made it much harder to come back.” He watched me silently. I took the opportunity to continue, “Surely you’ve heard tales from the realms you protect over these past six months. Stories of two Asgardians--”

“Neither of you are worthy of being called Asgardians.”

“Not the point. We helped people. We kept a low profile. We stayed far away from Asgard. Not really what anyone would expect of two people after the Asgardian throne.”

I was met with more silence. There wasn’t much more I could say, so I reiterated the deal I was offering. I couldn’t hide the plead in my increasingly raspy voice, “I will give you the ring, just promise to set us free immediately and leave us alone.”

He considered me for some time; my bleeding hand and dirtied, rumpled clothing. A hopefully unthreatening image. 

“I will allow this deal. Is the ring on Asgard?” 

The pressure on my chest lessened, and I felt like I could breathe freely again, “Yes.”

“My guards will escort you to its location, to ensure you are not leading them into a trap. Hrothmund-” The guard on my right straightened suddenly, “Yes, my king?”

Odin gestured for him to approach. Hrothmund slowly made his way up the stairs and kneeled upon reaching the throne. Odin said something to him too low for me to hear, and Hrothmund merely nodded in determination, glancing down at me as Odin finished whatever he was saying.

 

I dreaded the trek back to the ship, and worried I wouldn’t even be able to remember the way. I’d need the Landvaettir to help me before. Plus, I was beginning to feel exceptionally drained. Maybe it was the blow to my head or the deeper-than-intended cut on my hand or just the overwhelming stress of the last two days, but I was exhausted. Walking, or even horseback riding, felt nearly impossible. Luckily, Odin was not in the mood to waste time. He charged the guards with using one of the small flying vehicles that we had taken to Svartalfheim.

The trip was fast. Ten minutes max of flying over the densely wooded forest. I leaned back against the side of the vehicle, trying not to let its swaying movement get to me. After several minutes, Hrothmund, distinguishable by his neatly trimmed dark brown hair, grabbed my upper arm and hauled me to my feet, “Is this it?”

I peered down to see our ship in the center of the meadow, just as I had left it a few days prior. Nothing look disturbed. I closed my eyes briefly, a chill coming over my body though the sun was bright, “Yes.”

We landed and, seeing Hrothmund make another grab for me, I quickly leapt down ahead of them, “It’s in the ship.”

My maneuver to evade him only pissed him off, and Hrothmund made a point of shoving me forward. I nearly tripped over the long grass. Not thinking clearly, I flicked my wrist, producing a blade. So Amora hadn’t been lying. I turned on the three guards, prompting them to draw their swords.

“Ill-advised, midgardian.” 

He was right. I didn’t stand a chance in a fight against them. Not as weak as I was. I was having a hard time standing upright. I could hardly dodge the swing of a sword. I dropped my weapon, “Don’t push me.”

I stomped over to the other side of the ship, where the back hatch was, and slammed my hand against it. It popped open, and I begrudgingly stepped up into it. The inside was untouched. Books were still stacked haphazardly across the space. The pictures on the wall sat motionless, fragments of happier, easier times. I took a deep breath. Just a little bit longer. I would fetch the ring, give it to Odin, and Loki and I would be free. We could come back here without any brutish soldiers following close behind. Soon.

Behind me, I heard Hrothmund command the other two to stay behind. My shoulders tensed. What had Odin asked of him?

He stepped up into the ship as well, looking around with an interest that made me exceedingly uncomfortable. His eyes lingering too long on the pictures, the table with papers and pencils, the blanket thrown over the back of the sitting area. It felt like an invasion of privacy. And it was. No one had been within the confines of this ship besides Loki and I. It was our domain. He was defiling it with his presence. 

“The ring should be over here.” I muttered, directing his attention away from our things. I walked into the bedroom I remembered leaving the clothes I no longer wore. Most of them from Asgard, but the ones I brought from home were in there as well. I made sure to keep myself at an angle that allowed me to keep an eye on him. He was up to something, I was sure of it.

He stood leaning against the doorway as I dug through the pockets of my asgardian dresses. What one had I worn that day? It was hard to remember such an insignificant detail. Finally, in the dark red dress, my fingers grazed the familiar warm metal of the ring. I sucked in a breath as I closed my hand around it and drew it out. It felt just as heavy with power as it had the last time I had used it, the gem gleaming maliciously. I stood up slowly, holding it in my unhurt palm. Hrothmund cleared his throat, and I noticed the sharp blade that was held inches from my throat.

“Hand it over.”

I glanced up into his cold brown eyes and knew there was no chance of me betraying them. Not that I had been planning on it. I couldn’t expect Odin to hold up his end if I didn’t hold up mine. But Hrothmund's behavior had put me on edge, and made me consider the possibility. Just in case. 

Pinching the ring between my thumb and forefinger, I dropped it into his hand. He inspected it quickly, as if confirming I had truly given it to him.  
Once he had determined it to be the ring of legend, he closed his fist over it and held the blade closer to my throat.

Panic began to bloom in my chest, “What’re you doing? I gave you the ring.”

He smiled. It wasn’t a nice one. “Yes, you did. The Allfather now has no need of you.”

That bastard-- A sound outside of the ship interrupted my thoughts. One of the other guards screamed, grabbing Hrothmund's attention. This was my chance. I dropped to the floor and kicked his feet out from under him, simultaneously whispering, “Þoka.” I omitted the hand movements this time, but the spell worked all the same. The fog quickly filled the small space. Covering my nose and mouth with one of my shirts from home that lay nearby, I crawled forward. First, I kicked Hrothmund's sword away from him. He lunged forward, trying to reach for it and smacked into me in the process. We grappled for a moment and I ripped the ring from his grasp. I wasted no time in slipping it on my finger so that it couldn’t be taken forcibly from me, before slamming both feet into his chest to get him as far away as possible.

Outside, everything had fallen silent, and no one entered the ship. I stumbled out of the fog and dropped the shirt on the floor. The hatch was still wide open. The armor slowly climbed up my hand, spreading to the rest of me as I prepared for a fight with whoever might be outside.  
The guards lay in the grass, limbs sprawled and bound to the ground beneath them by thick, gnarled roots. They were still breathing, but they were out cold. I stepped delicately from the ship, knowing exactly who had done it. The armor retracted. I was in no danger. 

“Thank you.” I said with a grateful smile. A melody of giggles met my ear though I failed to catch sight of any of my helpers. With a wave, I turned back into the ship. Hrothmund would still need to be dealt with. A quick peek into the bedroom revealed him missing. I glanced furtively around the ship. I couldn’t let him escape. If I was going back on Odin and I’s deal, and rightfully so, then the element of surprise would be helpful.  
Hrothmund proved himself to be rather foolish, however. I heard him as he approached, and managed to turn just in time to catch the downward swing of his sword on my armored arm. His eyes widened in horror. He obviously knew nothing of the ring’s capabilities. I grinned gleefully at how the tables had turned. Grabbing his weapon, I tore it from his hands and snapped it in half easily, tossing the pieces to the side. They clanged against the metal grating of the floor.

‘Wait. Wait, wait, wait,” He held up his hands in surrender, “Don’t-- I was just following orders.”

I scoffed, shaking my head. How many times had men used that line in order to justify their violent actions? So many times I had heard it in movies and shows. It had little effect on me now. Many people had died at the hands of men only following orders. I cornered Hrothmund, forcing him to press himself up against the wall in order to stay as far away from me as possible. The fear coming off of him was nearly palpable. I let him think I was going to dispose of him for as long as I could drag it out. In the end, though, I knew I had to move as fast as possible. One punch and he was out cold. I’d had to restrain myself. The energy the ring held was more than enough to kill him. Picking him up under the arms, I dragged his limp body outside, leaving it next to the others after binding his arms and legs with rope. One quick blast from my outstretched hand and the vehicle we’d taken to get here was nothing but a smoldering pile of parts. This ensured that the guards would have no way to quickly return to palace when they woke up. I felt guilty about leaving such a mess in the Landvaettir’s meadow, but I hoped they would understand. Just to be safe, I meekly expressed my apologies with a few words of explanation. 

Once those things were handled, I went back into the ship a third time. I needed to bandage my hand, which was still bleeding. Finding the first aid kit I’d insisted upon putting together and keeping, despite Loki’s healing abilities, I dropped into the captain’s chair with a sigh. The cut on my hand was really too deep, and made me cringe just looking at it. What it needed was stitches, but I didn’t have the supplies nor the resolution to do such a thing. Instead I cleaned it as best I could and wrapped it up tightly in gauze. Now came to question of what to do next. 

I had a small span of time before Odin began to suspect that something may have happened. If I was as skilled in magic as Loki, I might have been able to disguise myself as Hrothmund and return to the palace. Tell Odin that the pesky midgardian had taken out the other two guards before I’d been able to kill her. He might find it hard to believe but he’d sooner believe me capable of that than able to change my appearance. Unfortunately I was terrible at magic outside of my few tricks, so that wasn’t an option. 

Taking Loki and I’s ship to the city and ambushing the palace wasn’t an option either. They’d destroy a foreign vehicle without a second thought so soon after Malekith’s attack. Even leaving outside the city would be dangerous. It had to stay here. But then, it would take much too long to walk the whole way back. I pressed the heel of my hand against my pounding head in frustration. An ache went through it. I gasped in sudden realization. Of course.

I jumped to my feet, immediately regretting it when stars danced across my field of sight. Not waiting for them to clear, I hurried over to the table and snatched up a piece of charcoal. 

 

The portal deposited me in an incredibly lucky spot. One foot to either side and I would have been immediately exposed, with very little chance at stopping Odin from doing something that he would really regret. I crouched behind the pillar as quietly as possible, looking out at the throne room before me. I hadn’t expected Odin to summon Loki here so soon after my departure. I’d thought for sure he would wait to gloat until after Hrothmund had returned with his prized ring, but I’d underestimated his arrogance. 

Loki stood in chains in front of the dais, looking up at his adopted father with murderous intent. His mouth was covered. It was almost an exact replica of the scene at the beginning of the second Thor movie. It would not end the same. I began drawing the symbols for another portal.

“Soon the ring will be returned to me, as it should be, and you will be executed for your crimes.” He merely glared up at Odin, “And the little midgardian girl you tricked into your games will pay for your mistakes as well.” Now he was beyond furious. He lurched forward, but was yanked to the ground by the guards on either side of him.

“A shame you had to involve her. But I cannot have liabilities, not ones with knowledge of the ring’s power. It is too dangerous.” I might have been mistaken, but Odin sounded, not sad, but disappointed. Melancholy. I supposed if I had ordered an innocent person’s death I might have felt that way too. That did not mean I felt any sympathy towards him though. 

Finishing the portal, I left it open, dropping the charcoal and standing up slowly. As I stretched, the armor retreated so that it only covered one hand. Now was my time. With Loki still on the ground, kneeled over, I had a clear shot at the two guards who stood over him. One blast knocked them both off their feet and into the columns on the other side of the room. I strolled leisurely out from my hiding spot.

As I had desperately hoped, Odin said nothing. He was not blind. Even missing an eye he could see the black as night armor that rippled over my hand. To call more guards was to condemn them. They could not defeat the power of the ring. And neither could he.

“What’s really a shame,” I said, my heart pounding as the thrill of revenge sweetened the air I breathed, “is that you went back on your word, Odin.”  
I resisted the urge to run to Loki’s side and break him free from his chains. My slow pace helped keep things calm. A sudden movement might invoke a call for more guards. Which, while not the end of the world, would be annoying.

“I did what I had to do to protect this, and all other, realms. There is a reason the ring is only known as legend. It’s power is too great a temptation for those who know the truth of its existence.”

“Maybe for you. And for people like you. But me, I’ve given it up twice now.”

“A third time and I will give you what I promised before.”

I laughed bitterly, unamused, “No. I don’t think so.”

Loki stood now, his attention focused solely on me. He looked worse than I remembered. His skin was ashy and dusted with dirt. There was the cut from the fight with the dark elves alongside several areas of bruising I hadn’t seen before. Two small, clean tracks of skin drew horizontal lines down his face. I ached for him and wondered what horrors he had been through since he’d been captured. With a small squeeze I broke the chains that encircled his wrists and undid the binding that kept him silent.

“Ever tire of being the damsel in distress?” I quipped, my lip trembling with the effort of trying not to show how upset I was.

“Not when you’re the one to come and rescue me.”

I turned back to Odin so that no other emotion overwhelmed my anger and no tears slipped past my defenses, “We’re leaving. You understand what happens if you try to stop us.” I flashed the ring to hammer down my point.

He watched us slowly make our way over to the portal I had left open. Though I felt relieved having Loki’s arm around my back once more, I was stiff with tension as I waited for Odin to try and stop us. He did nothing but observe, silently, and with his jaw set in indignation. We were, at that moment, creating a rift that could never be healed. There was no turning back. Odin would be our greatest enemy; likely for a long time, if not forever.

I did not let my guard down until we were stepping back onto our ship, which I’d had the foresight to move off of Asgard moments before I’d returned to the palace. Then, and only then, did I let myself feel the emotions of the last day freely.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, this chapter was very much so a collaborative work between Munkhjin and me. She has been an incredible help and is the creator of Ruth. If you're interested in reading more about Ruth, she has her own story posted here: https://www.quotev.com/story/11118351/Battle-Born/1  
> or  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/15278172

Wrapped in the thickest blanket I could find, I sat shivering miserably in the Captain’s chair, staring out into the void that surrounded us. The outskirts of some system. A few days spent fleeing. Only teeny, tiny pricks of light shining in the velvety blackness of space. Truly the middle of nowhere. A tickle at the back of my throat threatened to send me into a coughing fit. I swallowed hard, trying to resist.

A voice broke the silence, “What are you doing?”

I jumped, “Fuck, you scared me.” Suddenly I was overwhelmed by a series of violent coughs, my concentration broken. Loki placed a hand on my back. Once I had my breathing under control, I shrugged it off.

“I’m sick. You probably shouldn’t touch me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I cannot catch a midgardian illness.” He came around to stand in front of me, brows furrowed, “Maybe you need more than rest.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I scoffed, trying to play off how bad I felt, “It’s just a cold.”

“Are you implying I shouldn’t be concerned?”

I smiled reassuringly, “I’ll be fine in a few days.”

 

“Would you please stop?” I didn’t even have my eyes open, yet I knew he was watching me. A few days had only led to a progression of symptoms. It felt as though something had stuck its sharp claws deep into my chest; each breath was painful. It took every ounce of self control not give into a fit, which was what had woken me in the first place. His cool hand brushed my forehead. I reached up and grabbed his wrist so as to keep his hand there.

“I thought you wanted me to stop?”

“I don’t have the energy for your sarcasm right now.” When he didn’t reply, I begrudgingly glanced up at him, “Did I wake you?” His hair was messy and his eyes tired.

“Your skin is burning.”

“It’s always warm to you, you’re cold.” I frowned, brushing his hand away, “You didn’t answer my question.”

He gave me a look, which I returned in full force as he said, “I know what you’re going to say--”

“No,” I interrupted, sitting up though my muscles ached. I shook my head wearily, doing my best to ignore the dizziness that had yet to leave me since waking in Asgard’s prison, “We can’t.”

“You have no other choice.”

“No other choice but to risk our lives, your life, for some little cold?” I snapped, standing up to give myself space, “We’ve encountered five Asgardian guard ships in the last several days and we’re farther out than we have ever been. We haven’t even stopped to get supplies and they’ve still managed to get close to us! It is impossible to go to Earth and not get caught. No.”

“Do not treat me like an idiot. Do you think I don’t realize the danger?”

There was an edge to his voice. I didn’t want to push this into a full on argument, but I was tired and spending most of my concentration on standing. There was none left over to reign in my annoyance, “It kind of seems like you don’t, considering the fact that you keep bringing it up.”

“Am I supposed to ignore how you wince with every breath? How you barely eat? How you shiver constantly?”

“No! I--” One look at his face showed how deadly serious he was. This was not a battle I could win. Not this way at least. I finally relented, “I’m sorry, I just--” I paused, reaching out to touch his cheek, “You asked me to stay out of things, to avoid the fight--”

“That has _nothing_ to do with--”’

“No, I know. What I’m trying to say is that you asked me to keep out of things and I did--”

Another look.

“Or tried, because you asked me to, because you were afraid of me getting hurt. Now I’m asking you to leave me alone about this. Going to Earth is like signing your death certificate. Odin will be on us in a heartbeat and he will not show any mercy. I can’t,” My voice broke and tears welled up, “I can’t do that to you.”

He took my hand in his, softening, “I cannot watch you suffer.”

“Then take the ring, and we’ll go.”

“No, Nellie. I already told you no.”

“If you took it then Odin wouldn’t be able to touch you.”

“Yes, but he would be able to get to you. He has made an attempt on your life once, I will not allow it again.”

I pulled my hand away and turned my back on him, wiping discreetly at my eyes, “Then we’re not going.”

 

Two more days of worse and worse. Everything was a daze, scenes blurring together into one melting pot of color and sound. Shivering like the time I was in elementary school and splashed in half frozen puddles during recess, soaking my clothes and trudging back to class in tears. Tired like the morning after the first night shift at my old job, seeing the sun peak up over the horizon as I drove home. Weak like trying to complete a task in the midst of laughing at something Brittani had said, cheeks aching from being stretched into a smile for so long. It was never ending.  
Thoughts of what I had witnessed and been a part of over the last year flashed through my mind, but were quickly overshadowed by memories of home; of everything and everyone I had left behind so thoughtlessly. My mom left only with a quick, nonsensical phone call. I had been so preoccupied, so irritated with having to explain myself, knowing she wouldn’t believe me. I hadn’t talked to her since. The rest of my family left with a vague text message. How could I claim to love them and still walk away? What did they think of me now? How long had it been since I’d left them? Surely by now it had been weeks. Guilt spilled over the floodgate I had built. What if I died here? Of some stupid cold after countless dangers? What if that was the last they ever heard from me? Their crazed daughter runs off God-knows-where and disappears. I felt like I could cry. Was I crying? It was hard to say. The only thing I remembered clearly was the feeling of being scooped up into someone’s arms; I was small and insignificant. There was only guilt and the all-consuming dark that followed it. Nothing.

 

The next thing was waking up, slow and blurry. I felt like I had been hit by a train, but my head was clear for the first time in over a week. The room was bright, sunshine filtering in through a wide window on my right and reflecting off white walls. Not the ship. We were on a planet. I sat up carefully, feeling a pull at my arm. An IV. Panic shot through my chest as I glanced up at the monitor and IV bag. The beeping sped up to match my racing heart. This was all much too familiar. Ignoring the ache that seemed to emanate from every fiber of my being, I kicked off the blankets that covered me and swung my legs off the edge of the bed. I was in what could be said to be my normal clothes; black, durable, but breathable pants, shirt, and long, red, leathery jacket. There were even still boots on my feet. A glance around revealed the window, a door that stood opposite it, the bed, an ugly chair of a murky beige color and a small table that sat next to it. A disposable coffee cup sat abandoned on the table. Turning to the window, I hesitantly stood from the bed and glanced outside. The sunshine was blinding, but after blinking through the tears, I managed to make out the city that surrounded us. People walked the streets below, talking on cellphones and getting into cars. No strange clothes or colorings. This was undoubtedly Earth.

The light tap of footsteps outside of the room pushed me into a fight or flight response. Who knew how long I had been here. Odin’s men could be seconds away from barreling in. Escaping wasn’t an option at this height. Fight it would have to be. Only, my skin remained bare. I glanced at my hand. The ring was missing. I froze. Before I could begin to think of how it was possible, the door began to open. No time. I flicked my wrist and drew back my arm to throw the blade. Ruth stepped into the room. 

"So your boyfriend caught me up on your - adventures." Ruth said with cold look in her eyes that I'm not sure I've ever seen before. She dubiously looked at my raised knife.  
I swallowed, putting the knife away slowly, a little embarrassed. Her presence, so foreign and familiar, exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time, paired with my confusion over the whole situation left me speechless; despite the many questions parading around my head. I pushed my hair back nervously and rushed to hug her. She stood in the doorway, not responding to the affectionate gesture, still as stone until she pulled away slightly and said, "Well, at least you guys know how to pick a time to show up. Mind you, for your miraculous time choosing five men had to pay with their lives and a mission that I was so close to finishing failed."

Finally I found my voice, pulling away from her as well, “I-- I’m sorry. I’m not sure what you’re talking about. Where-- Where is Loki?”

"Here I thought we were friends, Nellie, but the first thing you say to me is about your man… oh girls in this 21st century." There was something off about Ruth. Closed-off. She was different, but as far as I could tell, it was still her. Just, a very cynical and emotionless version of her. I pulled away from her even further, and, feeling a painful tug on my hand, winced, looking down to see the IV gone and a trickle of blood creeping across my skin, “Damn it.” 

"Ttt, he left without a word. Little rude if you ask me. " She stepped further into the room and began to fix my arm with a pinched look, answering my question despite the annoyance she had displayed at being asked it. "For the record I thought Loki was…” She glanced up at me briefly, and I noticed the off-white ring of contact lenses surrounding her pupil. Looking closely I noticed little changes, like how her face was more angular and refined; like she finally lost all her baby fat. Her body more shaped, rather than lanky like the last time I saw her. She looked grown. Where we had once looked about the same age, she now was obviously a few years older than me. The only thing that was the same was her hair, still long and black. 

She quickly looked back down at her work, “Well, anyway, now he's with you? What's up with that?" 

I relaxed a little, now that she seemed less cold, “What did you think?” 

"Well, it's just he and Thor reminded me of two people I used to know. It doesn’t matter." She got a bandage out of the bedside table.

Not bothering to figure out what she meant or who she referred to, I focused in on what was important: the absence of the ring. "Where's my ring?"

"We had to get you to take it off, 'cause we couldn't get the IV in with it on."

“Oh.” I must not have remembered being as sick as I was. That made more sense. I relaxed further, “Well, where is it now?” I was impatient to get it back. I didn’t know how long I had been here, or where Loki was, but I knew that it was better off with me. At least until I could find Loki and give it to him. The bastard. He’d taken us to Earth despite my telling him not to. If I had to be here, he needed to be wearing it.

"Loki pocketed it, and just disappeared, leaving you all for me to handle your sweaty and sick ass." 

“He left?” I shook my head, “And you said without saying anything as to where he was going?”

Tossing the rest of rolled bandage back into the table, she walked off into the adjacent room, presumably the living room by the looks of it as I followed her. "Yeah." She replied, monotone. I closed my eyes briefly. There had to be a method to his madness; there always was. If he left, it was because he needed to. He had the ring. He was safe. For now, I needed to focus on what I needed to do.

"Where exactly are we?" The room was rather empty, the only notable features being a cache of weapons on one wall, and a bunch of documents on a nearby, rickety table. A dusty smell tickled my nose. An empty kitchen off to my right seemed to be the source.

"Moscow." Ruth rummaged around the cupboard, bringing out granola bars and water bottles, "Stock up, you must be famished." Snatching one for herself, she leaned on the counter top and started to chew, watching me with calculating eyes. 

She was right. I was starving. I grabbed a granola bar and not-so-delicately tore into it. If there was one thing to be said about being back on Earth, I was thrilled to be eating ‘human food’ again. I hadn’t been impressed by what was available elsewhere. After finishing two, I looked up at a still silent Ruth, and was again filled with how very different she seemed. I closed my fist around the empty wrappers, "Um, how are you by the way?"

"Oh so she does care about me, for a minute there I thought you incapable of talking about anything other than Loki." She said with a humorless smile. "I'm just peachy."

The hostility that was radiating off of her was not what I ever would have expected from her. Last time we had talked, she had been so much more talkative and witty, cracking jokes and making sarcastic remarks with no ill intent. Now she seemed filled with contempt for me and everything else. Something was very wrong here. I recalled what she had said about a mission.

“You said we interrupted a mission earlier, so you’re still working with SHIELD then?”

She snorted, "Fuck SHIELD." 

I raised my brows in surprise, “Oh? Have they collapsed already? Where's Steve?”

"SHIELD collapses?" She squinted her eyes at me, completely ignoring my second question.

“Yes….” I trailed off as my mind tried to play catch up. I wasn’t very familiar with the timeline of the movies and when certain things should and should not happen. Evidently, SHIELD was still around, so I was getting too far ahead of myself, “Long story short, Hydra has been secretly controlling them.” I winced at the words as they left my mouth. I wasn’t sure what telling her this would do. I knew she had a bad history with Hydra, so learning they were still around was likely to piss her off. And she wasn’t in that great of a mood to begin with.

Her whole body became still, if it was possible for a human being to literally be on pause, I would have said this was it. Though her eyes were still calculating, and I could see that her mind was reeling. She snapped back into the moment with a click of her jaw, "Thanks for the info. Good to know taking care of you was not for nothing."

 _Good to know taking care of you was not for nothing?_ That comment left me reeling just as the one about Hydra had her. I found myself suddenly filled with spite. I had been trying to be nice, because I thought of her as one of my only friends in this reality, and because I knew my arrival had inconvenienced her (she had made that very clear). But, I had also just awoken from what may have been a coma or some kind of sickness that had nearly killed me, in an unfamiliar place, on a planet that was the last one I wanted to be on, with Loki and the ring missing. I was aching, tired, confused, and done with her attitude.

“Okay, what the fuck is your problem?”

She snorted again, "My problem is you and your uninvited ass in my space." Ruth stepped close to me, pointing her finger at my chest.

"Well, I can leave if I'm really that bothersome." 

"Be my guest." She casually waved towards the door. Challenge written across her face, like she was testing me to see if I would actually do it.

Huffing and glaring at her I intended to do just that. There was no point in staying here if she didn’t want me, and as rude as she was being, I didn’t want to bother her further. I took a few hesitant steps towards the door. She said we were in Moscow, so there should be someone who spoke English, right? I could ask them for the nearest hotel or airport. But then, I had no money or phone. As far as I had seen, I had none of my things; only the clothes on my back. I might have just taken the time to create a portal, but where would I go? I had no idea where Loki was, or where our ship was. I didn’t have a destination. Maybe I could go to the States and stay with another member of the team, but staying on Earth meant putting myself, and whoever I was with, in constant danger of attack. I had no clue what I should do. 

Suddenly, Ruth got an alarmed look on her face, rushing to the table with the documents on it. She grabbed bunch of them and thrust them into my arms "Hold onto that, don't lose them." 

"What?"

She started to strap on any gun she could get, and pulled me behind the couch, shoving sound mufflers into my ears before a loud explosion sounded, probably the door being ripped off its hinges. She pulled a grenade and tossed it over the couch, mouthing "stay down", to which I nodded. 

With her rifle, she peeked around the couch and started to shoot precisely. Not completely heeding her caution, I snuck a glance and saw at least eight men with cliche leather jacket and AKs in their hands. Something yanked me back and I saw, in slow motion, a bullet graze the corner of the couch right where my head just was. Still a little off-put by all of the new things being hurled my way, it took me a second to get into fight mode. Nearly being shot got me there. I produced one of my blades and chucked it at the one who had the audacity to fire at me. I know without looking that it hit its target, both due to the fact that it was enchanted and because of the cry of agony from the man as it buried itself in his thigh. 

Ruth swiftly hopped over the couch, making me panic a little. Until I remembered she legitimately fought in WWll, and could definitely take care of herself. After a short while she came back into my view and took off the mufflers, "Come on we need to get out of here." 

I pulled away from her violently, putting some distance between us and ignoring the dead bodies that littered the ground at our feet, “What? Now its we? You don’t want me to leave? Can you make a clear fucking decision?” The intensity of the last few moments had put me on edge and I had thrown all niceties and hesitancy to the wind. What the hell had just happened and why was she now down with us sticking together?

"The safehouse is blown, Nellie, and I told you to stay down, what part of it confused you? Who even taught you that hurling a knife towards a crazy Russian with a kalashnikov is a good idea? You know what if you want to stay here, again be my guest, but I'm outta here." 

Instead of heading towards the door, she climbed over the window and dropped down. I scrambled after her, realizing I still had her files and seeing that it was just one story drop. She had flipped a cover revealing a sleek black bike by the time I find the courage to jump. Landing, my muscles screamed in protest, but I ignored them. When I approached her, she came over with a helmet in her hands and put it on my head. She then headed back towards the bike, straddling it with ease and motioning for me to get on as well.

"There's probably more coming, we need to disappear." 

Annoyed, but not staying behind, I wordlessly got on the bike behind her, tucking the documents into my jacket so that I didn’t risk losing my grip on them once we got up to speed. The bike rumbled beneath me and we took off at a speed that was probably illegal. 

It was some time before we reached what I assumed to be another safehouse, based on its decrepit and abandoned state. Ruth pressed something and the door that looked like it was going to fall any day now opened, making it possible for us to go into the warehouse. We parked next to equally sleek looking car. 

The inside of it was very different than the outside, which was made of what looked to be rotting wood. Inside it was very clean, with iron beams crisscrossing the ceiling, and a few standing solitary in various parts of the space. There was a desk with three screens hooked up to a large processor, and, a little further beyond that, a big, comfortable looking bed. A little kitchenette in the corner resided near a door that led to what looked to be a bathroom. In the final corner of the room, there was a small training area, with a punching bag, treadmill, and free lifting weights stacked on top of each other.

I dropped her papers haphazardly on the desk, crossing my arms over my chest, "What in the hell was that?” 

"What was what?" She asked, getting off her bike and putting the stand up to keep it upright.

“I mean what the fuck are you involved in that a bunch of mobsters show up trying to murder you?”

"Courtesy of you actually. If you didn't blow my fucking cover there wouldn't be anyone trying to murder me."

“How many times are you going to blame me for something that happened when I was literally unconscious?”

"Both of you could have easily went to anyone else but me! There is Tony in that hideous building of his, fully capable of treating you and powerful enough to keep both of you safe. Or the goddamn Captain America can treat a case of pneumonia god knows he was a master at it, and can provide the necessary muscle." 

I threw my hands up in the air, “Not that I can explain Loki’s actions all of the time, but he isn’t exactly on good terms with either of those people.” As I said that, I realized another point, “Plus, that’s where Odin would look first.”

"And what? Loki is on good terms with me?"

“No,” I interjected, “but he knows that you and I get-- got along well… And… I trust you.” I chose to keep it present tense, hoping to make it clear that I still wanted to be on good terms with her, that I wasn’t allowing this fight to completely break our tentative friendship.

Ruth growled in frustration, "Well, you shouldn't."

That stopped me in my tracks for a moment, “Why not?” 

Dismissively waving her hand, she turned away from me and crouched down a little further. Pulling the latch on the floor it opens to reveal a neatly stacked cache of weapons of all sorts in the floor. She deposited all of her guns into it.

I shook my head and turned away from her as well, taking in the small details of the place. It reminded me of a superhero’s hideout. A bulletin board caught my attention, various people's faces pinned to it. Some of them crossed with a red marker. Some evidence pictures were also included; paper articles, names of cities and places, some I knew, some didn’t. 

Catching me looking at it, Ruth sauntered over and flipped the board, revealing an empty one. "Not yours to look at." 

I cocked my head to the side, watching her. I wasn’t going to let this argument die. I needed to know what had happened. Based on her mocking Captain America comment earlier, I thought bringing Steve up might provoke her, “You know you and Steve truly are peas in a pod with the brooding silence.” 

"Fuck you too."

“What even happened? Why aren’t you with him? I thought you guys were close.”

"Well, apparently not."

I rolled my eyes, “What does that even mean? You’re not telling me he just up and stopped talking to you one day? Obviously something terrible had to happen for you to be out here on your own, what was it?”

"Look, Nellie I get that we were friendly but honestly, I don't know you that well, and you don't know me either. Just because you crash into my life after six months of AWOL doesn't give you the right to question every little thing I do or did. Why are you even so focused on me? Isn't some fictional mad king from mythology hunting you and your beloved?”

I paused. So Loki had told her about that, hmm? I wished he had also told her where he had gone or what the hell I was supposed to do. I sighed, “Yes, but I have no ring, no beloved, no idea where either of them might be, and so no where to go.” I paused once again, “So all that leaves is you."

"Golly, lucky me." She muttered under her breath.

“And, you know what? You’re right. We don’t know each other. We spent two days together six months ago and that’s it. But I thought we were friends; we fought together, saved the world. And you’re one of the only people I know in this whole damn reality, so, yes, I care about what has been happening with you.” 

Ruth let out a breath and her stance slouched a little. It was the first time I thought I saw even a semblance of relaxation from her the whole night. It made her look… worn, tired. She slowly turned towards the kitchenette and started grabbing various pots and pans, setting up an area to cook. Surprised by her sudden change in demeanor, I simply watched from the other side of the short counter. She grabbed a few things from the fridge and began the process of defrosting various items I couldn’t identify.

"Have you ever tried borscht?” She asked, not looking up from her work.

I shook my head, “No, what is it?”

“A kind of soup. It’s popular around here.”

“I’ll take anything over what I’ve been eating the past few months.”

"Few months… Wanna start from the top and tell me what happened?" 

I let out a breath of air, trying to recollect everything that had happened. There was a lot, and I wasn’t sure what she really wanted to hear. Plus, finding the starting point was a little difficult; I wasn’t sure how much Loki has already told her.

"You really want to know? Twenty minutes ago you were kicking me out." I said with a decent dose of sarcasm, but also with a slight smile, because I wasn’t interested in starting another argument.

She paused what she was doing with the vegetables and gave me a look that would fit perfectly in an episode of _The Office_ , "I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to know. Besides, I got to know if we're gonna be stuck together."

Rolling my eyes, I huffed out another breath, “Uhh, where to begin?” This was the first time I had ever had to recall the last six months in their entirety, and even then, the times I had explained were in order to justify my actions or presence. It was very different to be asked just out of curiosity. “We went to Asgard under the pretense of me being some kind of ambassador for Earth. I’m sure if Fury knew, he’d be livid. But it worked, or so we thought. Then I overheard Thor’s father, Odin arguing with his wife about Loki and I found out he knew everything. So, I told Loki and we decided to give the ring to Thor and leave. Only Thor gave me back the ring without my knowledge and made Odin all the angrier. We were on the run for a long time, just kind of travelling the universe.” I shrugged, “Then we had to return to Asgard because of Malekith and how he might kill Loki’s mother, and he needed to save her. Did you hear about the attack on London?”

"Yes, who hasn't?"

So Thor had made it to Earth to fight Malekith. I only wondered if he was okay. “I don’t suppose you know what happened to Thor afterwards, do you?”

"He survived with a bit of scratches here and there, but he disappeared after a short while."

I nodded, more to myself than in response, then shook my head, “We helped him get here. In the process, we were captured by Odin. We made a deal that if I gave him the ring, he would let us go. He went back on it. Tried to kill us. We only barely escaped. And then I got sick and you know the rest.” I leaned against the counter further, resting my chin in my hand. Was that really what it boiled down to? It felt like a whole other lifetime.

"So you guys really fucked up?" She asked with a casualness that I had not expected. It teased a short laugh out of me, “Yeah, you could say that.”

We resided in silence for a little while; Ruth tackling the process of making dinner and me watching her. I eventually found in the courage to try and continue the conversation, “Sooo, how did you know those guys were about to attack?”

"Mmm little Nellie hasn't missed that, eh?"

“Nope.”

"Tesseract."

“See, that doesn’t really count as an explanation.”

"Not with that attitude."

“It’s the only attitude I have, so you’ll have to work with it.”

Ruth shrugged, "It gave me an ability to feel everything happening around me in a mile or so radius." That made some sort of sense. The infinity stones were known for granting abilities when tinkered with. Pietro and Wanda could attest to that. Or would be able to, when they went to Hydra.

“I didn’t know you had any abilities.”

"Well, you never bothered to ask."

I pressed my lips into a thin line before replying, “Fair enough. Do you have any others?”

Finished with putting everything into the pot she turned to face me, "Wash the dishes instead of being an annoying pest, will you?"

“Only if you stop being a bitch.” I snapped back without thinking, but came around the counter and grabbed the dish brush and soap regardless. I was going to have a few words with Loki when he came back, leaving me here. Because he was coming back. He had to. I wouldn’t let the idea of him being in danger take hold.

"Дура." Ruth rounded the counter and sat on the stool. "I also can't feel any pain."

"Is that also due to the Tesseract?"

"No, not everything about me came from a glowing cube. Always had it."

“Fiseryo.” I replied, using a Vanaheimr insult, as I assumed she had insulted me, “That explains that time at Stark tower when you didn’t realize you were injured.”

She nodded absentmindedly. The conversation died there, and I let it. I knew that there wasn’t much more I could get her to say. We ate dinner in silence.


	26. Chapter 26

I finally found myself processing everything that had happened after eating dinner in the new safehouse. I hadn’t spent much time wondering what it would be like to come back to Earth, given that our circumstances were so skewed against it, but I thought that if I had, I never would have guessed it would have been like this. 

Ruth had changed so dramatically over the last several months. So much so that she was barely distinguishable as the same person. She had hardened. And while there were a few cracks, the shield she had built around herself stayed otherwise unbroken. She had been right, calling me out. I didn’t know her all that well. I didn’t have any sort of right barging into her life and trying to worm my way into her problems. Still, she had been the only one of the team I’d connected with outside of Thor, even if it had been only two days. I’d thought, if and when I came back, we might have been able to build a real friendship. I’d thought plenty about how interested she’d be in the technology I’d seen while on my travels. I’d thought to show them to her, and help her learn more about the present... But then I’d left, and I’d never really made any plans to return. I needed to keep that in mind, and not act so shocked at the bitterness she showed me. 

Still, there was room, I thought, to fix it. And I had an indefinite amount of time to do so. There was nowhere else I could really go. Not without knowing where Loki was and where we stood with the throne of Asgard. I swallowed, watching Ruth pour over the documents she had brought from the previous safehouse. Any time a thought of him popped into my head, which was to say very often, I chose to focus on her and how I might learn more about what had happened in my time away. He was safe. He had the ring. He was coming back. Why wouldn’t he? I trusted him. The swirling uneasiness that was slowly building in the pit of my stomach indicated some doubt.

A series of coughs broke my line of thought. The adventure yesterday had taken its toll. Once I had my breathing under control, I decided to strike up a conversation. If not to distract myself, then to at least address a question that had been hanging out at the back of my mind since her explanation the night before.

“Hey, what you said earlier, about the Tesseract… were you part of Hydra’s experiments with it? Back before the plane went down? Is that how you got your, um, Tesseract-related abilities?” I asked from where I was sitting on the bed.

"Can't you just drop it?" Ruth replied with a mild tone, not looking up from the files.

Right. The topic might be a sensitive one. Not very kind of me to bring it up. “If you want. I was just wondering. And I did tell you everything that happened to me when you asked so…” I was still curious, though. And I wasn’t sure what else there was to talk about.

Ruth closed her eyes for a few seconds, like she was contemplating ways she could get rid of me, only barely stopping herself from carrying them out. Then she opened her eyes to look up at the ceiling, and, after a moment, swirled around to face me, "No, Hydra didn't do any Tesseract-related experiments on me." She paused there a little, likely gathering her thoughts, then she leaned back on her chair and crossed her legs. "Schmidt had the cube on Valkyrie as you probably know, and I sort of ended up grabbing it before the plane went down. When Steve and I were waiting at the bottom of the ocean I had it in my hands. I wake up after my beauty sleep, and the Tesseract had emerged itself in my body. Banner and Tony had a theory that it was the cube's defense mechanism, also how I survived 70 years under ice. Though, the said ability you asked about didn't manifest itself until four months ago."

My eyes widened, “You survived with an infinity stone inside of you? That’s--- There have been--- Well, there is or there is going to be, possibly, an instance where merely touching one of the other infinity stones, the power stone, completely obliterates the person. Being able to hold one like that for so long is quite a feat. Especially since touching it made Schmidt just disappear.” 

"Yep, saw that with my two eyes." She smiled, like she was reminiscing a fond memory. "And well, I was unconscious for most of it so I'm not sure I deserve any credit."

“When you woke up,” I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, “did the Tesseract just re-emerge?”

She shook her head. "Banner helped with Tony chiming in here and there. Had to coax the little thing to come out with sweet temptations of ruining lives and destroying everything." She replied with a smirk on her lips.

I snorted, “Well, it got its moment. Now, it just sits in some glorified trophy room.”

“Better there than in the hands of…” She briefly glanced at me, tilting her head. “Some people.”

Did she just consider my feelings by not mentioning the fact that Loki was the one who had manipulated the Tesseract and consequently killed, well, I wasn’t entirely sure on the end count. Still, she’d refrained. Not something she would have done just the day before. I smiled, “No, its okay. Yeah, it probably is better there. Odin may not be the… best candidate, but he’s certainly better than whoever was controlling Loki and everyone else through the mind stone.”

“Whoever was controlling Loki… You ever find out who it was?”

“He-- um…” I trailed off, trying to figure out the best way to answer the question she posed. So many nights spent dealing with the trauma Thanos had inflicted. It wasn’t a comfortable topic. “Yeah, Loki has mentioned him, albeit unwillingly. And I vaguely knew from the movies I watched before coming here. His name is Thanos.” Every mention of his name made my skin crawl. In everything I’d learned about him through Loki, and in what I knew from my reality, I worried a lot about what part he may play in the future.

“Thanos… weird name. For how long - is he - okay?”

I shifted, pulling one knee up onto the bed and wrapping my arms around it. This was a sensitive topic. Loki had barely wanted to tell me. He never wanted anyone to know where he hurt, or that he hurt at all. Telling Ruth would be breaking his trust. However, we seemed to be making progress in her opening up. I didn’t want it to come to a stop. I considered how to best word it, so that I would do no harm to either of them. Ruth spoke before I had a chance to say anything. 

“It’s fine if you’re too uncomfortable to say anything.” She said upon seeing my hesitation. “And either don’t put your dirty boots on my bed or take 'em off.”

“Oh-- sorry.” I put my foot back on the ground. I paused a long moment before speaking again, “Thanos… Thanos worked on his plan to take Earth for a year. Being under the mind stone’s influence for even a short amount of time is hard.” 

Ruth bobbed her head, eyes looking thoughtful, maybe even understanding. “Anything that is done against one's will is hard.”

 

The next morning I shot awake, feeling panicked and confused. It took me a moment to remember where I was and why. Midgard. Earth. Moscow. With Ruth. Blurry, nightmarish images faded slowly from my mind. I couldn’t recall them, no matter how hard I tried. I worried that they were more visions from other realities. They were dealing with more trouble. I had to wonder if it was only a matter of time before I faced those same troubles. One thing I did remember was seeing Loki. I closed my eyes, feeling tears well up as I tried to suppress thoughts of him. It was so much easier to believe everything was okay, but every hour spent without him made believing more and more difficult. I didn’t know how much longer I could pretend everything was okay.

I slowly climbed out of the bed once I had gotten a handle on my emotions. Ruth had allowed me to sleep in it, choosing to take the futon for herself. Another kind gesture. She seemed to be warming up. However, when I glanced to the futon, she wasn’t there. 

“Ruth?” I glanced around. There weren’t really any places she could be hiding. The place was one large room, with the exception of the bathroom, and that door was wide open. She was gone. In fact, another scan of the safehouse revealed that the sleek looking car was missing. 

“Okay…” I whispered to myself, walking over to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I couldn’t think of any reason she would have left me here by myself with no intentions of coming back. If she had wanted to abandon me, she wouldn’t have brought me to this secondary location. Plus, as I wandered over to her desk, I noticed she had left the very important documents from the first safehouse. No note as to where she had gone or why, though, the papers were enough to make me believe she’d be back.

What to do until then?

I impulsively sat down at her desk before the computer, wondering what she could have on it. How long had it been since she’d woken up from the ice with Steve? At the time of The Battle of New York, she hadn’t been very well acquainted with modern technology. It wasn’t impossible to believe she had caught up in the last several months, but it would certainly be quite a feat, especially if she’d been on her own most of the time. Moving the mouse in a circular motion, the computer screen came to life, revealing her unlocked desktop. Interesting. For being such a private person, leaving her computer without a password seemed like a stupid move. Although, perhaps she didn’t care, perhaps she had other safety nets. That thought made me pause, but the sight of a file labelled "Eyepatch's Shit He Tryna Hide” put me back in motion with a loud laugh. Surely “Eyepatch” was Fury. Hmm. I clicked it after only a half second of hesitation.

The folder opened to reveal hundreds of other files, including what appeared to be profiles on every member of The Avengers. I clicked on the first listed, Tony Stark. Various pictures of the billionaire in his armor popped up, alongside Natasha’s original evaluation of him. True to the movie, she had listed him as not viable for The Avengers Initiative. I snorted in amusement and backed out to read the others’ profiles. Thor’s included a lot of speculations made around Norse mythology. My heart jumped when I noticed it was updated with the events of The Battle of London. He was labelled as _Status: Alive; Location: Unknown_. So this is how Ruth had known what had happened with him. Banner’s had everything that was expected. Clint’s as well. Natasha’s was by far the longest and most extensive. There was another separate file named "Budapest." I skimmed through it before seeing a much more interesting profile. One on myself. My eyes widened and I double clicked on it. 

It was definitely the sparsest, with very little information or speculation. The images were almost all from the Helicarrier, but there were a few from the days after the battle with the Chitauri, from Stark Tower. One of Ruth and I sitting and chatting, crutches sitting on my lap and a noticeable blood stain on her shirt. Wait. If they had this…? I scrolled down a little further and felt heat rise to my face. Images from Loki and I’s private conversation, when he presented me the ring and asked me to come to Asgard. The way we were looking at each other.. I couldn’t help but think how stupid I was not to have seen it then. I scrolled down further and found even more incriminating photos of our interaction during the battle, my hand holding his to my lips. Ugh. I cringed internally, scrolling the rest of the way down and reading the brief summary of information they had on me. _Status: Alive. Location: Asgard_. So they didn’t know I was here. That was probably for the best. Potential threat. Should be watched for signs of treachery due to suspected relationship with hostile responsible for attack on New York, Loki. Ouch. I supposed that was to be expected. Fury never had regarded me with anything more than thinly veiled suspicion.

Growing bored, I backed out of those files and searched through some of the recently opened ones. Some of them were in foreign languages I didn’t recognize. Actually, a lot of them were. The only things I could understand were the images. Men in expensive suits in all sorts of locations and scenes. Gory scenes filled with mutilated, bloody bodies. And one name that seemed to be on repeat: Ivan Pushkin. 

Before I could delve any deeper, the sound of an approaching car forced me to quickly close all of the files and jump away from the computer. I stumbled over one of my boots, luckily catching myself on the bed. The door opened and Ruth drove in and parked her car.

She smoothly got out of the car, not really looking at me. Instead, she opened the trunk of the car and hauled several bags out. 

“Where have you been?” I asked casually, standing back up, “Do you need some help carrying those?”

"Yes, they're for you anyway." 

“Oh?” I walked over and took one of them from her. Inside were various items of clothing. I smiled, relieved. I was very sick of wearing the thick armor that had been my clothing of choice whilst on the run. “Thank you.”

She grunted. "Where is breakfast? Good wives are supposed to do that sort of thing, right?" 

The smile dropped from my face, replaced by a deadpan look, “I’m no one’s wife, let alone yours, but I will gladly make us some food if you ask nicely.”

She nodded. "Fair point. I hear snooping around ones computer is also something wives do."

Shit, how did she know? I turned away from her, setting the bag I had taken on the counter and looking through the cupboards for something to make, “Sure, in some annoyingly misogynistic sitcoms. What do you want to eat?”

She paused in the middle of taking off her heels, frowning, "Pancakes maybe? What's a sitcom?"

“A comedic television show usually surrounding a husband and wife. Why are you wearing heels? Did you have a hot date?”

She looked puzzled. "Sounds idiotic. And yes I was." I turned in surprise, but before I could even open my mouth she added, "Also none of your business." 

“Oh come on,” I set the bag of flour I had found on the counter, turning back to find the sugar, “you know who I’m seeing.”

She started to change right there into her usual dark jeans, jacket, and combat boots. "That's because you don't try to hide it at all. And the pictures in your file proves my point even more. And if you must know, she's a good person. So, all this shit is to be kept very far away from her." She said looking at me pointedly. "And not a word to your Loki or anyone else for that matter." 

“I can keep a secret.” I shrugged, “What’s her name? How did you two meet?”

"Nadejda." She came into the kitchen area, pouring herself some milk. "Found me bleeding in an alley, helped me patch up." She then turned to face me fully. "What about your boy though? Any word? And tell me more about just what kind of shits are after you, so that we can be prepared." 

My stomach dropped. “No. No word.” I swallowed hard, trying not to let it get to me. I stared hard down at the ingredients I had gathered, “I imagine Odin will send a group of Asgardian soldiers, most likely of his guard. I don’t know how large of a group. Small, if he knows I don’t have the ring. Large if not.” I shrugged again, feeling flustered, “There’s just a lot I don’t know. I can only speculate.”

"What do you know about how Odin finds you? Mythical tracking device or… ?"

I shook my head, “No. Loki checked for any tracking devices when we left. Frigga might be able to help him, but she was injured not too long ago, and made unable to help. And I’m not sure she would if she was or is capable. Heimdall is being charged with treason, he’s on the run, and he will not help Odin unless he deems it absolutely necessary to prevent anything worse from happening. Otherwise all he has are his spies, and while they are everywhere, they will only have their own observations and accounts from others to depend on. Likely, they are still searching for our ship, but I can’t be sure. The only thing I do know is that Earth is the last place he would ever suspect us to be, because it is the most heavily watched.”

She processed all of it with a thoughtful look. "He left you right under his nose. Smart. Well, both of us being targeted will complicate things, I don't think we can remain here for long. Might have to change countries. By the way, how would Loki even find you again? You didn’t exactly leave him any love notes when we ran." 

“Didn’t need to.” I searched through the drawers for a whisk to mix together the pancake batter, “He can find me the same way Frigga can. With magic.”

"Right, he's a wizard your boy."

I laughed, feeling a little bit of the weight lift off my chest, “Yeah.” I turned on the gas stove and greased the pan as the pancake mix sat rising, “You know, I could teach you some tricks, if you want.”

Her one eyebrow arching upwards. "Like a bunny coming out of a hat tricks?" She asked, puzzled.

“I mean, if that’s what you want to learn, I’m sure there’s a way to do it, but, no. I was thinking something that’s a little more useful in a fight. Like this.” I flicked my wrist, making a forearm length blade appear. 

Her eyebrow did not lower, and she stayed there staring for a few seconds before she remarked, "Neat."

“The best part is that they’re not in anyway detectable. And you could do it with guns, if that’s more your style.”

Her eyes found mine, and once again she paused like her brain was processing how it would even work. "Where would my guns go? Will they be okay?"

I paused, frowning, “I’m not sure where they go, but they never come back damaged.” I flicked my wrist twice more, making the blade disappear and reappear again.  
The dubious look she was sporting at that moment was an exact replica of the way she looked at me yesterday in the face of my blade. "I've had enough magic to last me a lifetime, but I'll give it a try. If only to entertain your high and mighty ass."

“My high and mighty ass?” I poured some batter into the skillet, “Yeah, okay, fine, we can try after breakfast.”

"Do not poison me, Nellie." Ruth collected everything I used to make the pancake batter and started washing. 

“Listen here, I am a good cook. Or, I was. I haven’t done much cooking since coming to this insane reality. And I need you too much to poison you. Maybe when Loki comes back.” I winked. 

"You won't need to, because the moment your boy comes back is the moment we will part ways. I'm just praying on my fucking knees, until they’re raw, that it'll be sooner."

“Ouch Ruth, and here I thought we were finally getting along.” I wasn’t actually offended, and I hoped my tone relayed that.

"Your fake hurting is fooling nobody." Ruth hesitated before she continued, "You being here is not horrible, but I just have stuff to do and places to be - people to find." 

I glanced at her, thinking of all of the documents on her computer that I had gone through, “Maybe, if Loki doesn’t come back soon,” I paused, “we go to the States and you can leave me with Tony or whoever will take me. I know I’ve inconvenienced you, and even if that would probably alert Odin’s men, they are better equipped to handle it. Thor, wherever he is, might even come help intervene. If Odin hasn’t already admonished him for what he did.”

Ruth rolled her eyes, "Whoever will take me - you can say his name. I have someone I trust in Italy, so we can try squatting there, though if worse comes to worst we'll go ahead with that plan."

“Say whose name?” I asked, completely unaware of who she was talking about.

"Don't push it, Nellie." She replied, thinking I must know who she meant. Wait, yesterday she said something weird about Steve. And avoided talking about him altogether. 

"Steve?"

"Fucking hell."

I widened my eyes, “What? I really wasn’t sure who you were talking about.”

Ruth squinted at me, "Yeah right. No wonder Odin wants your head on a pike." 

“Odin wants the head of anyone who disagrees with him. Anyway…” I flipped the last pancake, putting it on her plate, “if push does come to shove, and you hate Steve that much, are you going to be able to handle seeing him?”

"I wasn't born yesterday. I know what self control is." Ruth took both plates to the counter, and we settled down on the two stools.

“Yeah but, you really seem to hate him. Like, he must have killed your first born or something atrocious.” We sat eating in silence for a several minutes before she spoke again.  
"The sad fuck just doesn't have his impulse control anymore, and he should be thankful that his stupid super-serum-ed brain doesn't have my specialized bullet in it right now." 

She let out a breath, pushing her hair back, "Let's not get into it." 

I nodded, “Okay.” That was way more than anything she had said about him before, and I figured she’d talk about it when she was ready. I finished eating the plate of pancakes I had set aside for myself, “Ready to try some magic?”

“Yeah, sure.”

 

I tried not to laugh as I watched her mumble angrily under her breath, her hand contorting as she attempted to re-conjure the gun. We’d been practicing in the field outside of her safehouse for upwards of two hours now, and while Ruth hadn’t managed to do any magic, I had to give her credit for how stubbornly she tried. 

A wind rustled the bare trees that surrounded us, and kicked up loose dirt on the barely formed road that disappeared into them. It was good to be outside in the abnormally warm for this time of year weather, feeling the sun on my skin. I hadn’t realized how much I had missed Earth until I tasted the air and felt solid, grass-covered ground beneath my feet. There was nothing quite like it. Asgard may hum with power and possibility, but Earth held its own ancient energy. Nothing was foreign here, even in a country I’d never been to.

“Join the war they said, it’ll be fun they said.” Ruth’s muttering could be heard, “Now I’m stuck in this stupid century and doing witchcraft of all things.”

“Ruth, for the last time, witchcraft and magic are two completely different things. And It’s like this.” I mimicked the movement again, twirling the blade that appeared around my fingers. She glared at me before performing the exact same movement. Nothing happened. After all of her sass and snarky comments, it admittedly felt kind of good to be better at something than her. Especially since I knew I was pretty bad at magic myself. “You know, I don’t know if this will help, but technically magic can be done in any way that feels right. Maybe just come up with something on your own?”

Dropping her hand, she closed her eyes and stood there for a minute. I watched her quietly, not wanting to disturb whatever was going through her head. Then she peeked through one eye, “Did my gun appear?”

“No. Were you trying?”

“Yes goddamn it.” She shook her head and rebalanced herself, “I got through Army PT with flying colors and even earned Peggy fucking Carter’s approval. A little sorcery is nothing. Focus focus focus…” 

I sighed, watching her stand still as a stone. Just as I was about to suggest giving up, a bolt of pain went through my system, making me stagger backwards. “What the fuck?”

Ruth’s eyes opened and she looked around, “What - what happened?”

“I don’t know,” I looked down at myself, checking for injuries, “it’s like suddenly I just felt pain in me. Like a flash of pain for no reason. Was---?” I stared at her hard, “Did you do that?”

“Do what? Wait, are you saying - wait.” 

Once again I felt the pain, emanating from seemingly everywhere at once. This time it was much more intense, and I fell to the ground, curling in around myself. The air around me shimmered and I felt a force push itself away from me and towards Ruth. She stumbled back a few steps herself like some invisible blow had slammed into her. 

"Fucking - fuck was that - " Ruth rose and headed towards me. "Hey, are you okay?" 

I flinched a little as she approached, climbing to my feet and taking a half-step back, “Yeah. What was that? What did you do?”

Ruth, seeing my flinch, put her hands up. Something painful crossed her face before disappearing after a second, "I think it was my own kind of _magic_."

“What do you mean?” I asked.

She stalled for a few seconds, "There is more to my - well, for lack of a better word, abilities. Along with not feeling pain, I can touch someone and make them feel all sorts of pain. And I think we may have just found a way for me to do it without needing to touch." I could see little tremors running through her hands, "Ugh - fuck - I need a drink." 

“Okay, okay, um..” I didn’t really know what to say to that. 

Ruth rushed past me into the warehouse. When I made it inside, Ruth was digging inside the bottom drawer of her desk and producing a bottle of clear liquid. "Do you want some?" She asked, indicating the vodka. 

I shook my head, standing uncomfortably by the kitchen counter, “No thanks, not much of a drinker.” 

With a nod, Ruth tipped the bottle back, drinking straight from it. After two huge gulps, she grimaced, probably the burning alcohol doing its job. Though, she seemed to be much calmer now. 

She cleared her throat, and took one more swig before she started talking while pacing back and forth.

"I was born with this - this something. Banner told me it's because of my DNA mutation, highly likely inherited from my father. And because of it Zola took me, killed my mom and did experiments on me for year and a half straight. He liked that I never screamed no matter what was done to me, you know." One more gulp. "And the smart fucker also thought to utilize this shit of a DNA mutation to his own advantage. You see, besides me he had hundreds of prisoners and subjects in rotation at all times. Most of them died, bless their poor fucked up souls. The few who made through the initial tests and vials were soon under my hands to be tortured within inches of their lives. Kept from rebelling you see. But, the worst part was physically all of them were fine and dandy, mentally …. Fucked them up pretty good. That's how I met Bucky." Her eyes were glazed and far-away. One more long chug. "Abused him pretty good too. But you know, he forgave me. Doesn't mean we were the bestest of friends but he forgave me. But I never did. Forgive myself that is. Fuck, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I didn't even know that could be possible… I - " She suddenly stopped. "I want to shoot something. Do you want to shoot something?"  
It took me a moment to answer, as I was trying to process everything she had dumped within a few mouthfuls of liquor. “It’s been a while since I’ve gone shooting, might as well practice since we’re on the run. Are you sure it's a good idea though? You’ve nearly finished half the bottle.”

"Ppfft." She waved her hand at me, grinning widely. "I'm fine. Come on, you can take any gun you like." Putting the bottle on the desk, she made her way over to the weapons floor.

“Ooookay.” I made my way over and looked into the hiding place where her weapons resided. My parents were both ex-military, so I was vaguely familiar with firearms, and had had a few excursions to local shooting ranges to practice. However, it had truly been a while, and I hadn’t exactly stored away the information I had learned as Important, Must Remember. Eventually, I crouched down and lifted a smaller handgun from the collection. 

“You know, my mom has won awards for her handgun shooting.” I commented, turning the gun over and over in my hands as I reminisced. The overwhelming guilt I had feverishly obsessed over at my worst point came crawling back into my system, making the back of my neck prickle in discomfort.

"Well, hey you're already a natural then." She said with a hand on my shoulders, picking what looked to be a stocky rifle with a strangely short barrel. "I'll tell you, this thing is a real beauty, Nellie." Ruth looked reverently at the rifle, like she could sing songs and write poems about it anytime, before suddenly turning to look at me. "Hey what happened to my other baby that got fucked off to another magic dimension or something?"

“Oh. Right.” I let out a short laugh, “Here.” A twist of the wrist and I had summoned her “baby” back. I handed it over to her carefully.

Smiling widely, she kissed it before stashing it with the rest. We made our way outside again and started to walk north of the warehouse, entering the trees. "The self-made shooting range of mine is a little ahead there." After walking 10 feet or so we came upon a little clearing with dummies and targets on top of metal barrels. They were line positioned at different distances from where we were supposed to stand. 

"Ladies first." She gestured me towards the range.

A breath of air escaped my nose in amusement, but I moved forward and lifted the handgun. I was out of practice but eventually fell into the right positioning. I chose the target closest to me, not looking to challenge what little skills I had retained from all those years ago. After a moment of hesitation, I fired, the bullet grazing the shoulder of the dummy. A second shot punched a hole through the little divet where the neck met the chest. 

"Nice." Ruth commented before hauling her rifle to her shoulder, looking through the sight and shooting a few rounds. The first four hit dead center in the dummies before the fifth one completely missed its mark and hurtled off into the trees behind. Ruth chuckled and shook her head, "Damn, Bucky was way better at it than all of us."

At the mention of Bucky I remember that he is still considered long dead. I thinned my lips and wondered if I should tell her about the possibility of him being alive. For some reason, I hesitated. I’d already revealed so much about SHIELD and what not, which, in retrospect, was fine because should Hydra not be involved with SHIELD, there was no harm. But if I told her Bucky was alive, and he wasn’t, it would be crushing for her. I decided to keep my mouth shut.

“Well, he was in the army longer than you, wasn’t he?” I said instead, lifting my handgun once more and taking aim.

Ruth shuffled to stand behind me, "It wasn't that he served longer than me. Compared to other marksmen in the war he was the youngest and served less than three years too. He was just a natural. You could see it in the way he held his guns; his precise calculations of wind trajectories and angles were always work of art. When he watched our backs no one used to know where the sniper bullets were coming from. Did you know he was made Sergeant before even getting his first order? He was that good."

“Did you learn from him?”

"I think so. He taught me, as much as he was able. Most of the time we just ended up gossiping or talking about Steve." 

I shot off another few rounds of about the same accuracy, “I’m sure. He’s always getting himself into trouble, there’s a lot to be talked about.” 

The noise Ruth let out started off with a snort but soon turned into full out laughing. "Steve The Ginormous Damsel In Distress. The amount of times Steve got himself in stupid situations can not be contained in a two digit number." She shook her head again, still chuckling beneath her breath. I suspected that she was recalling a funny story or memory, but she declined to share it. 

Still, I smiled, hearing, for the first time since New York, something other than rage in her voice while talking about Steve.

Just as I was about to fire what I considered the last round I was going to fire that night, Ruth tapped my shoulder. "Shh, someone's coming. How many rounds have you left?"

I glanced down at the firearm in my hands. That was one thing I didn’t remember. I looked back up at her and shrugged, nervous and embarrassed.

Muttering a “Aren't you American?” under her breath, she pushed a little button on the side and brought out the magazine, which contained maybe twelve more bullets. "Alright, that should do fine. Don't make a sound."

She began stalking back towards the warehouse, and I followed behind her, praying it wasn’t any of Odin’s men. Each step was slow and measured, every muscle tensed. When we finally came around the front, we saw a guy with a military haircut dressed in simple jeans and vest come out of an old jeep. He looked to be around his early 30's, and based on his look and posture, I pegged him as a soldier. 

Ruth's tense posture didn't change as she strode towards him in quick long strides. "Markov, the fuck are you doing here? I told you to tell me in advance before you come." Voice tight with anger, she fisted the guy's collar in her left hand and shoved her gun at his temple. The guy did not react at all to being held at gunpoint though. He smiled innocently and put his hands up in mock surrender. 

"I would have if you picked up your phone." He replied in calm manner, his accent thick but not at all like what I might hear on TV. 

"Fine, what did you come here for?" She replied, not letting up her stance one bit.

Sighing he brought his hands down on the Ruth's clenched fist, and enveloped her hand. "Иван только что заказал СИКЛ за тобой. И Залсон сама на себя взяла миссию, как гончая за кровью."

"Сукин сын."  She lowered her gun and took a step back.

"New friend? What happened to Nadejda?" He asked Ruth, tilting his head at me. I stared back at him.

"Nadejda is fine. Markov this is Nellie, Nellie, Markov." 

I flicked my wrist, making the gun disappear, and crossed my arms over my chest, “Hi.”

Ruth sent me a disapproving look, “You better bring that back.”

Smirking, Markov came closer to me, bowing a little. "Hello, pleasure to make your acquaintance. It's Arkady to you, милая девушка." Up close I could see a scar that crossed his face, starting from his left eyebrow and ending at one corner of his mouth. Ignoring his lame attempt at flirting, I glanced around him and asked Ruth, "What's happening?"  
Pushing her hair back, she squeezed her eyes closed. "A very powerful Russian organization called S.I.C.K.L.E has just been dispatched after me." After a pause she said, "S.I.C.K.L.E is Russia's very own SHIELD." 

"Very powerful and persistent." Arkady/Markov mouthed at me.

"I think we may have to head to the States earlier than we anticipated." She said, a frown maring her features, looking at me like waiting for my reply or reaction. "S.I.C.K.L.E will never stop, nowhere will be safe. Only SHIELD will be able to fend them off for now. Especially now that Zaslon, its leader, is after me herself." She admitted with a sour look, like she had swallowed a whole lemon.

“People after us?” I sighed, “What’s new? Let’s go.” I was admittedly fairly pleased to be heading back to the States. It felt a little safer, a little more stable. And I’d been on edge thinking about what would happen if we were attacked by Asgardians. Ruth was powerful in her own right, and I had my tricks, but I didn’t think we could face more than a handful at once.

We all file into the warehouse, wordlessly Ruth and I begin to pack. I gathered the few new clothes I had, but Ruth only seemed to be packing her weapons into the trunk of her car. I wondered how she planned to get them through customs, but refrained from asking. When both of us were ready, Ruth came up to Arkady/Markov. "Keep her safe, alright. I swear to god if anything happens - "

Putting his hands on Ruth's elbows, he said, "I promise, no one will get to her." 

Ruth nodded and they hugged for a minute before we got into the car.

 

To my amazement, Ruth had access to a private jet through some evidently very connected, or wealthy, contacts. The ride was smooth, without any trouble. I had never been on a private jet, but it was similar to the ship, if not a little more cramped. However, we found trouble when we least expected it: when landing at JFK. While we had taken a private jet, we still had to land at a public airport. We had went to grab some coffee while the car was being unloaded by employees of Ruth’s contact when I spotted him. Hrothmund, of all people. He was wearing vaguely midgardian clothing, as though trying to blend in, but was failing spectacularly. If he was here, he had to know I was as well. This wasn’t a coincidence. I grabbed Ruth’s arm, “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” The businessman standing in line behind us gave me a dirty look.

“What?” She asked, looking away from the menu board.

“See that man with the brown hair? In the tunic?” 

"Yes."

“Asgardian. One of Odin’s.” I whispered.

Ruth arched an eyebrow. "Huh, thought they would look - scarier."

“Trust me when I say he’s a little more terrifying when you’re unarmed and he’s holding a sword to your throat. We need to go. If there’s one, there’s more.”

"He did that you?" Ruth asked, looking like she wanted to crimple him herself. Her phone chimed in her hand, "Alright, let's go. The car is ready outside."

She needn’t say any more, I had started walking the moment she said “go”. We made it halfway to the door when a sword flew past my head and imbedded itself in the wall. A blonde girl who was standing near the wall with started to scream bloody murder, her scream high pitched and cringe worthy. Damn. So much for not causing a scene. I turned to face Hrothmund, who was now in full armor and backed up by five more Asgardians.

"I see what you mean now." Ruth commented, although she didn’t seem to be any more afraid than before.

“The Allfather, King Odin of Asgard, has ordered your execution, and I will not fail him this time.”

That was quite a turnaround from begging for his life and saying he was “only following orders”, I could have rolled my eyes if I hadn’t been so terrified. Last time I had faced him, it had taken help from the Landvaettir and the ring to succeed. I had neither. However, I glanced at Ruth, I might have someone just as good. I materialized my blades, holding them in preparation of attack, “You can try.”

Following the girl, the people surrounding us also began screaming and scrambling backwards, leaving luggage abandoned on the dingy tile floor. Heart beating fast, I ran forward and threw one of the blades, catching the slightly taller guard to the right of Hrothmund in the upper thigh. The blades were enchanted not to miss, but I had never killed anyone before, and didn’t really want to start now, not unless it was necessary. My goal was just to incapacitate. Ruth had other ideas. She was dodging the blades and was going hand-to-hand with two Asgardians. As I watch for a brief second, she climbed onto his back, his face contorted like he was in pain, and he dropped to his knees, before his neck was snapped back at an unnatural angle. His body thudded on the airport tile with a sound of finality. She moved on to the second one.

I cringed, looking away and focusing on the fight in front of me. I had to stay out of reach of their grasp and the swing of their swords, which involved vaulting over abandoned luggage and sliding under sharp flashes of silver. Dispatching with the fourth Asgardian by pinning him to a wall with a conjured blade much longer than the usual, I was left with only Hrothmund. He was obviously frustrated with his quickly failing assault, and kept shooting fearful and confused looks at Ruth, who was absolutely merciless. But he was very adept at deflecting everything I threw at him. Airport security had blocked off the area to the best of their ability, though a couple of onlookers remained, holding their phones up in awe as they recorded what was likely becoming a common occurrence in New York: fights between skilled/otherworldly/super-powered individuals. Sirens wailed in the distance. We needed to leave. We weren’t yet under Tony’s protection, and this fight made Ruth very visible to her enemies. I would have to get in close to end this. 

Sidestepping another jab of his sword, though only barely, I stabbed him through the hand. He dropped the sword and I kicked it away quickly. He let out a growl of pain and fury, and lunged forward. Not expecting it, I wasn’t able to completely get out of the way, and we were both knocked to the floor. Strangely, like what had happened in the field outside of the safehouse, Hrothmund was knocked back by an invisible force, and his face contorted in pain. I scrambled to get away from him, but he recovered quickly and grabbed me by the ankle, pulling me back towards him. His hands found their way to my throat and I knew the moment he applied pressure, I would be done for. Instinctively, I conjured one last blade and stabbed upwards into his chest cavity. Warmth flowed over my hand and the tension in his body fled. He collapsed, and I squeezed out from under him, the knife still in my hand. I stared at it in shock, my fingers trembling. 

Suddenly, a hand was on my shoulder. I jerked, looking up and saw Ruth. My grip on the blade lessened. As I slowly got to my feet, and Ruth her hands in the air as the police had finally made their way to the scene, and were keeping their distance, yelling for us to get down. We would have been in a sticky situation if a suave billionaire in a red and gold suit hadn’t walked in at that moment.

 

“Quite the comeback you two have made.” Tony commented some time later, after dealing with the authorities and letting us come with him to the tower. I hadn’t given much of an explanation beyond the people attacking us being bad guys, but he had accepted it. Now that everything was settled, however, he expected an explanation. But I wasn’t up for talking. The only thing I could do was stare down at the bloodstains on my clothes.

"Can she go take a shower or something?" Ruth leveled her gaze at Tony.

I shook my head, “It’s fine. I’m fine. I just--” I looked up at them both, “I’ve never--” I swallowed hard, “Let’s just tell him what we’re doing here.”

Biting back a sigh, Ruth said, "Long story short, there are people after us."

Tony stared at her, like he was expecting Ruth to offer more of an explanation any minute. 

I ran my clean hand through my hair, “Odin wants me dead, Ruth helped me and in the process got herself into some deep shit as well. We needed more protection, and we were hoping you could provide it.”

Tony looked much older than he had last time I had seen him. It seemed the last several months had aged us all considerably. He pulled absentmindedly at the cuff of his sleeve, “Odin’s Thor’s old man, right? King of Asgard or whatever? Why does he want you dead?”

“A misunderstanding. He thought I was keeping the ring from him with Loki so that we could take his throne.”

“That wasn’t the plan?”

I rolled my eyes, wrapping my arms around myself, “No. I tried to give it back but Thor intervened and when I tried again to give it back a second time he ordered my execution.”

“Quite the misunderstanding. So, Thor is to blame for all your… murderous intentions?”

“No,” I said forcefully, then retreated back into myself, “no, he was just doing what he thought was right. That fight was purely in defense. The killing-- I---” I clenched my jaw, “I did what I had to do.”

"Look, I don't need your help. I'm here for SHIELD, dropping off Nellie on my way." Ruth interjected, "So are you in?"

Tony looked down at me. I probably looked miserable in blood soaked clothes, and I was, but I hoped it could at least be to my advantage.

"So where is Hyde to your Jekyll?"

“I don’t know.” My voice threatened to break. He’d been gone a while now. My resolve was disintegrating.

“Alright, alright, kid, you can stay. Just,” He paused, obviously uncomfortable, “just…” He sighed and turned to Ruth, “Need me to call Fury?”

"No, it's fine. I'll meet him myself."

“Okay then.” He clapped his hands together, “J--” He was cut off by a sound from outside on the concrete ledge that jutted out from the windows. Thor, his blond hair whipping around in the brutal late fall wind that bombarded New York, walked into the tower. I stood up immediately and rushed to hug him. He graciously accepted the hug, enveloping me in his arms.

He pulled away, holding me by the shoulders and looking at me with concern, “Nellie, where have you been? Are you injured? Where is Loki? ”

I burst into tears, wiping my face with the sleeve of my jacket, “Odin caught us and tried to have us executed-- I found where you left the ring and tri--tried to make a deal but he went back on it. We only barely managed to escape and-- but we had to come here because I was s-sick. Loki left me with Ruth I don’t know where he went. And Odin has men here, they attacked us, that’s,” I rubbed at the blood on my clothes, “it's one of theirs.”

“Where is the ring?”

“Loki took it.”

Thor paused, distrust and anger crossing his features as he took in that new information. He turned to the other two, “Are all of the men my father sent dead?” 

Tony answered, “Only one is still around. He’s in SHIELD’s custody by now, I imagine.”

“Good. I will deal with him when the time comes.”

“Where have you been through all of this?”

“Looking for this one and my brother.” Thor replied.

I looked up at him, “You haven’t been back to Asgard?”

He shook his head, “No, when I finished with Malekith I was informed by Heimdall that you had fled, I knew you would not be welcome in Asgard and I imagine even now I would not be either. I went in search of you instead.”

“And you haven’t heard anything about Loki?”

“No, he is skilled in disappearing. We will only hear from him when he wants to be found.”

After having finally cried and expressed how scared I was with everything that had happened, I was filled with anger, “That’s not good enough. He fucking left me here when I told him we couldn’t come back to Earth and then he left without any explanation! What if he’s dead? What if he’s not coming back? I just-- I can’t deal with this anymore.”

“Hey, kiddo, why don’t you just go get cleaned up--”

“Shut _the fuck up_ , Tony.” I growled, annoyed, before storming off to the back hallway where I knew the bathroom was, lugging the bag that had the new clothes Ruth had bought behind me. I stepped into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind me, clicking the lock. Throwing the bag at the floor, I looked up into the mirror to assess the damage and saw a familiar figure reflected in it, standing behind me. I spun around, clutching the sink.

“Little bird.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the formatting, I’m posting from my phone. I’ll fix it when I can!

“Loki.” I whispered, staring at him with incredulity. I felt unable to move, though everything inside of me was racing, faster and faster, fueled by anger and surprise and relief and confusion and, “Where have you been?”  
It was accusatory. Justifiably. He caught it and nodded almost imperceptibly. Accepting. He knew I had every right to be upset, to be furious. A step in the right direction.  
He shifted his stance, and I noticed he was wearing his Asgardian armor. It had been a long time since he had worn it fully; some of the more decorative, opulent pieces were too recognizable to wear on the run. He looked clean and composed; hair combed, face clear. A comedic contrast to my bloodied, tired, tear-stained self. The only thing out of place was what looked like dried blood on the fingertips of his left hand. He took a deep breath, “Asgard.”  
“Asgard?” I nearly laughed, “You left without any word and you went straight to the last place-- I-- I can’t believe you--”  
“Let me explain--”  
“Let you explain?! You left without telling me anything! Without telling Ruth anything! Loki I thought you might not come back, that you were dead, that Odin had gotten his hands on you and that everything we’ve been through the last month was for nothing!” The tears were back with a vengeance, but I ignored them, “I thought I’d lost you.”  
He deflated a little, but his voice was firm, “I nearly did lose you.”  
“Don’t--” I shook my head, but couldn’t say anything more. There was nothing more to say on that. He stepped forward, trying to take my face in his hands but I shied away, “Why didn’t you tell me where you were going?”  
“You were not exactly conscious enough--”  
“Then leave a fucking note!”  
“And have you follow me?!” We were both yelling now, and I glanced nervously at the door, wondering if we were loud enough for the others to hear. “The last thing I needed was for you to come charging into the viper’s nest with little to no regard for yourself!”  
“Then at least leave me something that assures me you’re coming back.” I pleaded, “Did you realize how scared I was? How fucking ridiculous I looked when people were asking me where you were and I couldn’t tell them? You are the only real thing I have here! We’re supposed to be-- I thought we were a team.”  
He sighed, “I apologize, I did not want to make any promises that I couldn’t keep.”  
“Promises you couldn’t keep?” My stomach dropped, “What is that supposed to mean?”  
I could tell that he immediately regretted his words, but there was no taking them back, “Going to Asgard was dangerous for me, I acknowledge that. I knew there was a possibility I would be incapable of returning.”  
“Loki, if you knew it was dangerous, why did you even go in the first place?”  
He tilted his head down, “What other choice did I have? We needed to come to Midgard, you needed help no other place could provide. The moment we touched the surface, we were in danger. Staying and playing defense would have only caused more problems or gotten one of us killed. I had to leave to draw their attention away, to engage with them elsewhere, and to make them think that you were no longer a part of it.” His voice softened, “I am truly sorry for frightening you my love. I thought I was doing the best thing for you.”  
I covered my face with my hands, feeling exhausted. Arguing with him at this point was useless. He had already justified all of his actions in his mind. Nothing I said would convince him otherwise. After a minute of silence I felt him pull me into an embrace. I didn’t have the resolve to move away. His scent was familiar and comforting; it filled me with overwhelming relief, despite my anger. He pressed his face into my hair. A few more seconds and I gave in, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him as close to me as possible, feeling his breath on my shoulder.  
“Some of Odin’s men still found us.” I whispered.  
“I know.” His hold tightened, “You did what you had to do.”  
My chest constricted, “I didn’t want--”  
“Nellie.”  
“No, but--”  
He took a half-step back, gently taking me by the shoulders, “His death by your hand was quick. A mercy. If I had been there, he never would have laid a finger on you, I would have…” He trailed off, features softening as he noticed me glancing at the blood on my clothes. “Here.” His fingers slipped under the hem of my stained sweatshirt. I lifted my arms and allowed him to pull it over my head. He tossed it into the trash bin that sat in one corner of the room. Luckily it hadn’t soaked through to the tank top underneath, I’d have hated to ruin even more of my clothes. “Thank you.” I caught his hand, “Are you hurt?”  
He glanced down at the dried blood that I was referring to, “The last of Odin’s men who attacked you.”  
That might raise some complications with SHIELD or Fury, but at the moment I couldn’t care less. “Will there be more?”  
“There is a possibility. Many of Odin’s guards have defected and are determined to follow through with the last orders he gave them.”  
“What?” I frowned, “Defected? You mean to say that Odin isn’t…?”  
He stared at me, hard. Slowly, I began to understand what he was getting at; what he had done; what this meant for our future. Carefully and without revealing any emotion, I asked, “Is he dead?”  
He cast his green eyes down at the white tile floor, “No, I---,” His jaw tightened, “He’s where he cannot harm us anymore.”  
Seeing how conflicted he looked, I touched his chest lightly. But I didn’t deny myself the relief that seeped into me at that statement. Odin was no longer in charge. He no longer had the ability to turn Asgard against us. We were safe. Finally.  
Still, the distress that Loki was feeling worried me. I pushed aside my own ease, “Do you want to talk about it-” He grabbed my chin, cutting me off with a deep, needy kiss.  
“Not really.”  
“Are you sure?” I whispered, but didn’t wait for an answer before knotting my fingers in his hair and kissing him back. We could talk about it later. The sound of someone clearing their throat broke us apart.  
“Excuse my intrusion, Mr. Stark would like for you to meet him in the common area. Dr. Banner has arrived to perform a medical check up due to the serious nature of your illness.” Jarvis said from a hidden speaker somewhere above our heads.  
Loki looked up, confused.  
“Jarvis.” I explained, moderately annoyed with the interruption. I reached down and grabbed a clean sweater from my bag. Slipping it on, I paused for a moment, “Do-- Are you comfortable going out there? I don’t know how they’ll react.”  
He ran a hand through his hair, fixing it, seeming a little annoyed as well, “I’ll be fine. Unless you would prefer to leave? I could transport us somewhere where you could gather your thoughts.” He paused, “Although, I think it best you speak with Banner.”  
I stood pensively for a moment. The thought of walking out and having them see Loki made me feel more than a little ridiculous, given I had, not ten minutes ago, thrown a fit over not knowing where he was and stomped off. God, no wonder Tony saw me as a child. I needed to work on that. Plus, Thor had appeared angered with how everything had gone down. I imagined he would have a few choice words to say when he saw his brother. But, I also didn’t want to leave without any notice, and seeing Bruce was probably for the best. I still wasn’t feeling 100%, and wanted to know exactly what had happened in the first place. “Let’s just do it.”  
I opened the door and walked back out into the room where the others, now with the addition of Bruce and absence of Ruth, stood chatting. Loki followed several steps behind me, newly composed and regarding the others with indifference. I couldn’t hide the guilty, sheepish look I knew I was sporting.  
“There you are.” Tony said, glancing over my shoulder as he spoke.  
“Where’s Ruth?”  
“Oh, she stalked off muttering something about hormonal teenagers a few minutes ago..” Bruce replied, confusion evident in his voice. It took me a moment, but then I remembered her ability to sense everything going on within a mile radius. I felt the tips of my ears turn red. She had said she was going to leave as soon as Loki returned and obviously she hadn’t been exaggerating. I was a little bummed, though. I would have liked to say goodbye or at least thank her for her help.  
“Brother.” Thor said, an edge to his voice as he quickly approached us, or rather, Loki. My eyes widened and I put a hand on his bicep just as he tried to pass me, stopping him from going any further and doing something regrettable.  
Loki was unperturbed, “Thor.”  
“Care to explain where you have been?”  
“I needn’t explain myself to you.”  
“Do not try my patience.”  
Here we go, “Thor, please.” He shot me a confused look. “Don’t.”  
Though I could tell he was upset and withholding several questions, he simply nodded, his muscles relaxing under my touch.  
“Well, isn’t this a fun family reunion,” Tony quipped, grabbing one of his high-tech tablets from the bar. “As great as it would be to stick around, I have to deal with the media spectacle you created. For now I suppose you are welcome to any of the spare bedrooms down the hall. A simple thank you will hardly suffice, but I will accept an apology for earlier.” He directed his words at me. I nodded gratefully, “Thank you Tony, I’m sorry.”  
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” He pointed his tablet at Loki, “You, however, are not welcome to stay here. We just finished rebuilding.” With that he turned away and disappeared behind the closed doors of the elevator. I had a moment of deja-vu, remembering a similar scene just after the Battle of New York. Rolling my eyes, I met Bruce where he was standing just off to the side.  
“Long time no see.” I gave him a forced smile, trying not to turn back and see what the brothers were up to; Please Thor, don’t kill him before I get the chance to explain. Bruce returned it, ever the awkward, anxious individual and very acutely picking up on the tension that weighed down the room.  
“Long time, indeed. Ruth gave me the rundown of what happened and a blood sample. It will be some time before I get the results back but can you tell me when you started feeling sick and what symptoms you experienced?”  
I nodded, and told him quietly everything that came to mind, finishing with, “I’m not sure how I would have caught anything though, Asgardians are unable to carry human illnesses.”  
“You must have had contact with someone.”  
“I, wait, of course,” I snapped my fingers, “Jane.”  
“What about Jane?” Thor asked, overhearing her name and coming a few steps closer to us. In my peripheral vision, I noticed Loki’s mouth twist in anger  
“Jane, like, Jane Foster, the astrophysicist?”  
“Yeah, she was on Asgard briefly, right before we left, do you think--?”  
“It’s possible. She may have been carrying a strain of the flu or a cold. It sounds like you caught it from her and developed a serious case of pneumonia. You’re lucky Ruth knew how to handle it. Although, usually only those with compromised immune systems progress that far, I-- hmm.”  
“What?”  
“Well, with you being from another reality, it’s more than within the realm of possibility that strains of the flu virus evolved differently where you are from. In coming here, you were, are, completely defenseless.” He frowned, “I can’t believe it never came to mind on the Helicarrier. One of the most prominent lecturers on the theory of other realities brought up a similar point just several years ago. We risked a serious epidemic allowing you here without a preliminary check-up and the appropriate vaccinations, and you very nearly could have died.”  
My mouth opened slightly in shock and horror, “Well… that’s not good.”  
Bruce’s face said that was the understatement of the century, “We need to administer every applicable vaccination as soon as possible.” He was already pulling up various contacts on a similar tablet to the one Tony had left with earlier, muttering more to himself than to me. “The blood sample should be enough to identify any potential threats you brought with you from your reality, which should be clear given how much time you’ve already spent here…” He started walking towards the elevator, “I need to work out the details, just uh,” He looked around the room, “don’t leave.”  
I pointed a single, half-hearted finger gun at him, “Can do.”  
He nodded again, nervously regarded the two Asgardians, and fled the room.  
For a moment I stood with my back turned to them, trying to process what I had just learned. I truly could have died; had been close to death. It was only by a stroke of luck, or Loki ignoring me, that I was still alive. I could still be in danger, especially now that I was back on Earth. I was going to have to get countless shots. I was terrified of needles.  
“We are truly fortunate that Ruth healed you. She is an honorable friend.” Thor remarked. Loki snapped at him, “It was only due to your little midgardian pet that she became sick in the first place.”  
I spun around, surprised by the vehemence in his voice and caught on the words: midgardian pet. They made my stomach twist.  
“I understand your fear, but do not speak ill of Jane.” Thor replied, verging on anger but trying to show empathy.  
“It is hard to speak highly of her with the amount of trouble she has caused.”  
“You dare speak of trouble? What of the trouble you have caused by disappearing without explanation?”  
“You refer to the soldiers that your father sent--”  
“Our father, and perhaps he wouldn’t distrust you so if you had the decency--”  
“Mr. Stark would like to remind the children that roughhousing of any kind is strictly forbidden.”  
“Enough, both of you, please.” I added, figuring they wouldn’t bother listening to Jarvis. “The only reason Odin sent those men was because he wants justice for us stealing the ring. Which wouldn’t even be a problem if you had taken it when I asked you to.”  
Thor deflated a little, “My sincerest apologies.”  
I waved my hand dismissively, “It’s okay. I know you had good intentions, and honestly I was grateful to have it when..” I hesitated, debating whether or not I should tell Thor about what Odin had done since we’d last seen him. It made me feel uncomfortable, the thought of telling him that his father was, well, a number of choice words. Loki made it so I didn’t have to choose.  
“When Odin ordered her execution.”  
I sighed, “Yeah. But it doesn’t matter now.”  
“Execution? Of course it matters.” Thor gave me a concerned look, “I will speak with him at once--” He began to lift Mjolnir as though he was going to summon the Bifrost right where he stood.  
“There’s no need.” Loki interjected, “I’ve handled the situation. In exchange for the ring and never seeing either of us again, Odin has agreed to let us be.”  
Oh. Was that how Odin had left the picture? Was the ring really so important that he would give up the throne for it? Why didn’t Loki mention that he gave up the throne? I might have thought that Thor already knew, given he was the one expected to take it once Odin abdicated, but then he would have already known about the deal Loki had made. Unless it was just that he hadn’t yet been to Asgard to receive the news? Though, surely someone would have contacted him by now concerning his new responsibilities. This definitely did not add up, and I suspected I knew why.

 

I dug through the backpack I’d brought with me that day I’d walked through the portal. Finding what I was looking for, I plugged my phone into the outlet and pressed the ‘sleep’ button until the startup screen popped up. It had died months ago, even though I’d only been able to use it to take photos. Which, I did, because how could I not when there were trees taller than you could see and several moons in the sky at once? And that was only on Vanaheimr.  
The influx of messages that came in once my phone was completely on nearly made me drop it. It vibrated almost constantly for several minutes. Thankful that I had set it up without message previews, I set it aside. For now.  
“Thanks for bringing my things.” I said, turning to Loki, who stood near the door of the bathroom. He smiled, that little dimple appearing, “I thought you might like them. How are you feeling? You seem better, and you told Banner as much, but...” He didn’t need to finish.  
“I promise, I’m fine.”  
“Yes, well, you did promise that you were fine before.”  
“Seriously. I’m better.”  
“I had some doubt about that Ruth character. Banner would have been a better choice, but he was too close to Stark and the others. I knew they were being watched. I’m glad she did not disappoint.”  
I nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking stock of the room as I debated how to voice what I wanted to say. It was sleek and modern, very Tony in style. Queen-size bed, bedside tables, two medium dressers, small walk-in closet, attached bathroom; all in shades of gray and black. I jerked my head in the direction of the ceiling and tapped my ear. Confused, but compliant with my request, Loki waved his hand. No more interruptions from Jarvis.  
“Why did you lie to Thor?”  
He had been prepared for this conversation, answering immediately, “I didn’t want him to know the truth.”  
“Which is?”  
There was a pause as he clasped his hands together and leaned against one of the dressers, “I am to be king.”  
For some reason, I wasn’t all that surprised. Maybe it was because of the end of the second Thor movie. Maybe it because of how clean-cut and assured he had come back, no lingering worry in his eyes from the constant concern of being found. Maybe it was just knowing, deep down, that the throne was something he had never stopped wanting.  
“And if Thor knew, the title would be his?”  
“Not necessarily.” He hesitated, “He may be Odin’s first choice, but Odin didn’t make the choice. Mother did.”  
I raised both brows, “Frigga chose to depose Odin…?”  
“She is confident that it is for the best. Although I think there are reasons she declined to share, ones even I fail to understand. She wants Thor to stay here, on Midgard, with the team and with Jane,” I resisted the urge to make a face as I thought about his earlier comment, “because she thinks they make him a better man. Just as she thinks you make me one.”  
God, I adored Frigga. She was beautiful, strong, and cared so deeply. It heartened me to know she approved of me. Although, given the lengths she had gone to to protect me during my stay in Asgard, I hadn’t doubted her faith much. A soft smile caught me off guard, and faded as I saw my phone light up with another notification. I tugged on my damp, freshly-washed hair anxiously.  
“She heard about our acts during our time on the run, and has faith that, with you by my side, I can be the leader that Asgard needs.” He was beaming. I’d only rarely seen him this animated, this excited. It was odd, but wonderful. I usually cherished such moments. The last thing I wanted to do was to ruin it, but there were things I needed to do. Better to address it now, before he started to make plans for moving back to Asgard.  
“Loki.” I said, and gestured for him to sit on the bed as well. He did. “I need to go home.”  
Crinkles formed at the corners of his eyes, and his mouth opened slightly, “What?”  
I pulled my feet up and moved over to him, placing a hand on his lower thigh, “I love you, but I’ve been gone from home for a long time. When I was sick, I had all these memories of my family and friends just completely overwhelm me. I thought I was going to die, and where did that leave them? I disappeared without much more than a vague explanation. They deserve the truth, and they deserve me coming back to explain everything in person…” Quietly, I added, “What you called Jane earlier, Thor’s little midgardian pet? How do you think that made me feel?”  
He leaned forward, cupping the side of my face with his hand, “Little bird--” He winced, catching his mistake, “Nellie, I didn’t mean--”  
“I know you didn’t. I know. But you can’t forget that I’m Midgardian too. Human. Like Jane, only nowhere near as smart, and like my family as well. They’re so far apart from this. And the only reason I’m not just some little Midgardian living a plain life with my human family, is because I was given the opportunity to come here to fix my mistake and to help the person I love.”  
I declined from adding the other thought that had sprung to life with his Jane comment; that if either of us really were seen as a pet, it would be me. Jane had an entire life outside of her relationship with Thor; friends, family, a job. I had nothing outside of Loki and a few tentative friends that I had only met because of my relationship with him. Everything else that defined my life was in another reality. I wouldn’t allow myself to be seen as a pet, even if it was only me who saw it. It was time I reclaimed the part of life I had left behind.  
“I stayed because I didn’t ever want to walk away from you again, even though there was nothing else for me here. And I’ve followed you to the literal ends of the universe since. Now it’s time for me to fix my mistake with them.” I finished.  
He stared at me for a long moment, and for the first time in a long time, he was hard to read. There was a point where it would have made me worry, but we were far past that now.  
“How long?” He asked softly, his hand falling onto the bed as he accepted that this was going to happen.  
I sighed, “I don’t know. A few days, maybe. It’ll be much longer here.”  
“I know, I’ve lived it before.”  
An ache blossomed in my chest, “I don’t want to leave, but I love them so much, and I’m so ashamed to have left--”  
“I know.”  
The quip ‘at least I’m giving you a heads up before I leave’ popped into my mind, but I bit my lip instead of speaking. He hadn’t meant to hurt me. He had apologized, and I was just glad he was alive and well and that we were both safe. There was no point dwelling on it. It was done. We sat in silence for a minute or two, completely still. That is until he lifted his legs up as well, readjusting until he was reclined against the pillows. He pulled me to him, and I rested my head on his chest.  
“What will you tell them?”  
I pressed my knuckles against my mouth, “I’m not sure.”  
“Your mother didn’t believe the truth.”  
“I should’ve known you were listening.”  
He chuckled, the sound reverberating through his torso and teasing a smirk out of me. I shifted, draping one leg over his as I thought over my options, curling in closer. What would I say? How long had it been? What had happened since I’d left?  
“Maybe,” he said slowly, “I could go with you.”  
I lifted my head to look at him, “Loki, you can’t. You have much bigger, more important responsibilities with Asgard. And I could be gone for weeks, maybe longer.”  
He met my gaze, brushing his thumb against my lower lip, “Let me make something clear, nothing is more important than you.”  
The cheesy grin that surfaced could not have been restrained. Damn, did he know how to make a girl blush. “Well, you still need to stay here. On top of the issue with the throne, this is something I need to do by myself. Throwing too much on them at once will only make things harder. I need to… ease them into it.”  
He nodded, “Perhaps then just a brief visit or two, in order to convince any disbelievers and make certain things are going well?”  
“I could be convinced to allow it.”  
“Well, negotiations are my strong suit.”

“Hey, Jarvis, could you please let me in?”  
“My apologies, but Mr. Stark has insisted that I turn away all visitors.”  
Letting out a frustrated sigh, I knocked on the glass door of his lab. I could see him sitting at a workbench not fifteen feet away, focused on some contraption laid out. Various holographic blueprints were displayed in the air around him. He glanced up, saw me with my arms crossed over my chest, and made a face of resignation. A quick wave of the hand and the blueprints disappeared, a loud click sounding as the door unlocked simultaneously. I meandered in, taking in the oily smell and the organized chaos.  
“I distinctly remember saying that I did not want a homicidal maniac staying the night.” He said, his focus still centered on the device in front of him. Holding a soldering iron loosely in his right hand, he pressed the tip into the device, the metal softening.  
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” I remarked, leaning against the table and watching him work. He half turned towards me, tilting his head slightly to the side, “While we’re on the topic, how did you disable Jarvis?”  
I smirked, “Magic.”  
“Doesn’t exist.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Positive.”  
“After everything you’ve seen?” I asked, taking a seat on the other stool, one foot up on the seat with me, the other brushing the concrete floor. “That’s not very open-minded of you.”  
He returned to his work, “I’m not exactly known for being open-minded, but you already know that, don’t you?”  
I shrugged, “Stubbornness doesn’t necessarily equate close-mindedness.”  
He huffed in denial or amusement, I wasn’t sure, but didn’t say anything more on the topic. We sat quietly as he quickly, methodically, put together whatever he was working on. Minutes passed. I was in a little bit of a hurry, but handling Tony’s personality required care, especially when asking a favor; especially when all he’d done was provide favors for nothing in return.  
“Shouldn’t you be reconciling with your not-boyfriend and running off to space?”  
“Actually, I’m going back home.”  
Now I had his full attention. He set down the soldering iron, “Did you and tall, dark, and evil break up?”  
I gave him a look, “Not that it would be any of your business--”  
“It is when you show up at my doorstep asking for me to clean up your mess.”  
“-- But no.” I sighed, “And I’m sorry about that, Tony. Truly.”  
“Well,” he grabbed a rag and wiped his hands with it before standing up and walking over to the nearby desk, “not like it matters now.”  
I grimaced, looking down at the two phones in my hand, “I’m going back because I need to explain myself to my family. They deserve to know the truth about where I’ve been. The last two weeks or so, they haven’t left my mind.”  
“Don’t know why you’re telling me this.”  
“You know something about guilt, don’t you?”  
We made eye contact, a long and lingering look that confirmed my question with absolute certainty. He broke it first, sitting down in his desk chair and pushing some scraps off into a waste bucket on his right, “What do you want, kid?”  
Right. Time to get down to it. I stood, making my way over to the other side of his desk. We stared at each other over its narrow expanse. I set the phones down, “I was wondering if you could figure out how to get these to,” I struggled to find the right word, “communicate with each other from two different realities.”  
“Why don’t you just use magic?”  
“The phones are the most convenient, since one of them is already connected to another reality, and no Asgardian, let alone one with magical abilities, is familiar enough with Earth technology.”  
He smirked, lightly running his hand over them. Coincidentally, I received another message that made my phone light up. He frowned, “You’ve been receiving messages from home?”  
I nodded, “I don’t know how.”  
He picked it up and turned it over in his hand, “You’re planning on coming back here?”  
“Of course. I have a life here now too, people I care about. I can’t leave and spend the rest of my time wondering what happens to you all. And I can help, given my knowledge of what’s to come.”  
“You know this place, this,” he gestured vaguely, “reality, isn’t your responsibility, right?”  
Gazing out of the windows that overlooked the city, I frowned, “Isn’t it though? If you have the knowledge, the power,” I smiled slightly, realizing how close I was coming to quoting one of the most infamous lines from a superhero movie ever, “and you don’t do anything, are you not at least partially responsible for the outcome?”  
Another span of silence, then, “I’ll see what I can do.”  
I let out a breath, grateful, “Thank you so much Tony, I really appreciate everything you’ve done.”  
“I said I’ll see what I can do.” He stood and turned away, the phones in his hand.  
“If you want, I can bring you something back!” I called after him as he strode over to a work table towards the back of the room, “Maybe the Iron Man movies?”  
“Pepper would never let me live that down.”  
“I’ll take that as a yes.”  
“You can leave now.”  
I rolled my eyes good-naturedly and headed out, shutting the door gently behind me. I bounded up the steps towards the top floor. Reaching it, I caught sight of a familiar blond god standing near the bar.  
“Hey, Thor, where have you been? I--” My words were cut off as he turned, revealing a woman who’d been just out of my line of sight. She was wearing a yellow blazer and matching dress pants, with a ruffled white blouse underneath. Gold tipped nude heels matched the intricate gold jewelry that dangled from her ears. Her straight brown hair was swept back into an elegant french twist. A smile graced her lips, but all I could see was the forced smile she’d given Loki outside of the dorm. The smile that had twisted into a look of disgust as she’d fired a blast of white energy that had scorched a hole in the building. Her eyes, expertly accentuated with a sweep of eyeliner, were haunted by the bloodshot, deranged versions I had looked into as I tried to convince her to spare Loki’s life; as she told me he was responsible for ending mine.  
“Hi,” she took a few steps forward, holding out her hand, “you must be Nellie. My name is Lady Eitia Njarr, but you can call me Eda for short if you would like. Prince--” She shared an amused glance with Thor, “Thor has told me so much about you. I’m the Asgardian ambassador for Midgard.”  
I couldn’t do much more than stare at her blankly, trying to hide the terror that was raging through me like a wildfire. Eitia Njarr. Eda. The one Thor thought was the perfect ambassador. She was the woman who had attacked us. The one who’d come from the future. The one who had tried to kill Loki. The one who had died horrifically in front of me.  
“I am so sorry, am I not doing this correctly?” She drew back, confusing my lack of response with not knowing that she was trying to shake my hand, “I have only been here a couple of months, so midgardian culture is still a little strange, but I adore it! The fashion especially, but if I had to pick one thing over all of the others, this Star Bucks coffee would be my favorite.” She said ‘Starbucks’ slowly, as if she was unsure. Her enthusiasm and mention of something so mundane as a coffee shop was enough to push me past my initial shock. I nervously held out my hand and allowed her to shake it. Hers was weirdly warm.  
“No, I’m sorry, I just,” I struggled to explain myself, “didn’t expect-- and you’re so— normal--” And sane and not trying to murder anyone, I added in my head.  
She laughed, “I have tried hard to assimilate to midgardian culture, so thank you. I’m saddened that we could not meet on Asgard, but Thor told me that day you were feeling ill and, well…” She shrugged, declining to include the part where Loki and I fled Asgard and became fugitives, “It matters not. You are here now, and I would be honored if you might show me around the city!”  
“I-- I can’t, I--”  
“Oh, of course, I forgot. You are from another realm, correct? Well, maybe there are some midgardian things that are similar? If not, I would love to show you some of my favorite places.”  
I swallowed, “Actually, I’m going home to my reality for a little bit, to see my family and take care of some things. There’s a time difference so I don’t know how long I’ll be gone.”  
“When are you leaving?” Thor asked, sounding hurt that I had yet to tell him. Not like I’d had the chance, he’d been gone all morning.  
“Depends on when Tony finishes with the phones..” I caught Loki walking into the room out of the corner of my eye, “Loki, have you met Eitia? She’s the Asgardian ambassador for Earth.” I couldn’t hide the strain in my voice.  
There was a brief, likely imperceptible to anyone who didn’t know him well, flash of surprise that crossed his face when he saw the woman. But then it was as if it had never existed in the first place; replaced by a polite smile and an outstretched hand, “Lady Njarr, I’m afraid I’ve never had the pleasure.”  
She shook his hand after a moment of hesitation, “Prince Loki, the pleasure is mine and, please, call me Eda.” She cocked her head to the side, a frightfully similar gesture to when we’d first encountered her, “The handshake is a uniquely human gesture, strange that…” She smiled in realization, “Of course, you’ve spent a lot of time amongst humans.”  
“Loki is fine, and yes, fortunately, I have.” I nearly rolled my eyes, even in such a tense moment as this. He wasn’t winning brownie points for that. “To what do we owe this visit?”  
Thor replied before Eitia could, “It was her responsibility to take care of the Asgardian soldier in SHIELD’s custody, however, when we arrived to escort him back to Asgard, we were informed he was found dead in his cell.”  
“Well, he likely would not have received anything more than a light reprimanding had he been brought to Odin for punishment.” Loki remarked tersely.  
A worried frown marred Eitia’s face, “I’m concerned with how this will affect Asgardian and Midgardian relations. If Thidrick was executed by a midgardian, we, or I, could have a very delicate situation to address.”  
“I do not think his death was by human hands.” Thor shot Loki a look, although I wasn’t sure if it was one of disapproval or simply a knowing one. Either way, it was completely missed by Eitia, “Since Thidrick was well… We merely brought his body back to Asgard so that he might be laid to rest properly. Frigga informed us that the Allfather desired me to return to Midgard quickly in order to keep things amicable while everything is processed, which is why I am here now.”  
“Probably for the best,” I added, “if you were to be gone for any significant amount of time, they might think the worst.”  
“I completely agree.”  
After some further pleasantries with Eitia, who, while quite the talker, was also charming and likeable, we managed to slip away with the excuse of preparing for my trip back home.  
I shut the bedroom door quietly behind me, “Loki…”  
“She’s the woman from the attack, I remember.”  
“You didn’t realize that before, on Asgard?”  
He paced to the other side of the room, pensively staring out the windows, “No, I’d only ever heard her name in passing. She was appointed to her place in the palace during my exile, and I didn’t much interact with politics upon my return.”  
“Why is she not trying to kill you? Or better yet, how is she not dead?”  
“When I shook her hand,” he turned back to me, “I did so to evaluate her mind, to access her memories.”  
I blinked, “You can do that? Have you done that to me?”  
He smiled deviously, “No, unfortunately that trick doesn’t work on humans.”  
“Mhm, that look says otherwise.”  
“I promise.” He crossed his fingers and held them up where I could see, “As I was saying, I searched her. It is never very clear and I can only usually access traumatic life events. But she has no memories of the dormitories.”  
“So, she died…”  
“She did, or rather, will. Her attempt at killing me has yet to occur.”  
Realization dawned on me, “Of course! Back then she did say something about traveling through time, that she came from a future where everyone was dead. Where... I was dead.” Dead because Loki betrayed us to Thanos, and allowed him to kill us all. Kill me. I’d forgotten her words until then, but they were quick to resurface. He couldn’t bear to do it himself.  
“Nellie…” He took a couple of steps towards me, “You don’t…?”  
“No.” I shook my head, holding up my hands in denial, “We just need to consider the possibility that her being here means that she wasn’t lying, and that the future she came from might be where we’re headed.”  
He leveled me with a deeply serious and open stare. It was almost too much to meet his eyes; seeing the love and worry and fear that stirred within, “I would never.”  
“I believe you.” And I truly did, but I was still worried about what other factors led to such a terrible future for us all. Surely it wasn’t just Loki betraying us. It had to have been, or it had to be, or it would be, a sequence of events; a culmination. I sighed, “But we need to look further into this. It has to be more than just... Heimdall, perhaps?”  
“He is still yet to re-emerge, though he has been pardoned for his treason. It might take some time to find him.”  
“Doable though.” My mind raced as I went over what could be done. “We should leave as soon as possible. Who knows when things could start spiraling towards... War, is that what she said happens?” I didn’t wait for an answer before I started hurrying around the room, grabbing various items and stuffing them in my bag. I’d have to postpone going home. This was much bigger than explaining myself. This was life or death. The war could not come to be, and if it was inevitable, we needed to be prepared. I regretted not packing earlier, it would have been much easier. Although, the things I had planned on bringing home were different than the things I would bring now, so maybe it was for the best-- Loki gently grabbed my wrist. I turned to him, confused.  
“You need to go home.”  
“What?” I dropped what I was holding, “You’re kidding.”  
“I’m not.”  
“Loki, she told us there was a war. One that killed everyone. Something so traumatizing that the cheery, perfectly sane woman out there turned into a crazed killer. We can’t just do nothing and hope that we’re not walking straight into the fire.”  
“We’re not going to do nothing,” he replied calmly, “but we can at least wait until after you have gone home and reconciled with your family.”  
“I could be gone months. There’s no telling what could happen with her or to you, I can’t just leave.”  
“I know that you are concerned with the appearance of Eitia and what this might mean-”  
“Obviously.”  
He tipped his head slightly to the side, his lips thinned. I ran my tongue across my teeth, “I’m sorry.”  
“I have seen how your guilt eats away at you. I was blind to it at first, purposefully. Selfish, I realize. I did not want to think about what it meant for you to be here, and consequently, away from your family.” He smiled bitterly, taking a seat on the edge of the bed, his grip still loose on my wrist, “You love them. You need to go back to them, explain yourself.”  
“Not one of their lives is on the line.”  
“Perhaps not, but yours is when you are with me, and they deserve to hear from you before it’s too late.”  
“Before it’s too late? You’re…?”  
“Of course I am.” He paused, “What do you think the dreams have been about?”  
I had suspected as much, but even in all our time together, he had never confirmed those suspicions. Not until now. Although, I had never voiced them either. Voicing them felt like it gave them power; the air trembled with it in this moment. I caressed his cheek, reiterating my earlier statement, “I believe you; that you would never hurt me.”  
“I know you do.” He kissed my palm, making the skin tingle, “Some days that is what scares me the most.”  
His words settled like snow on sun-warmed earth, a day late in the fall before the cold winds of winter ripped away the last remnants of summer. They melted and seeped beneath the surface. Chilling. I shivered. I wanted to ask what he meant, but deep down I knew the answer and it wasn’t one I liked. The dreams that had haunted him since our very first days after fleeing Asgard the first time, they involved us in ways that terrified him. Maybe they stemmed from the future Eitia spoke about after she had spiraled into insanity and traveled back to kill him. Maybe they were visions of other realities. Heimdall had speculated as much, but even he couldn’t see into Loki’s mind to find the truth of their origin. Ultimately, both of them summed up to the same conclusion: Loki feared hurting me, and his dreams made him think that hurting me might be inevitable.  
“I still don’t want to go, not with her here, not with all of this coming back up.” I sighed, feeling lost, “I need to do everything I can to prevent what she said happens.”  
He placed his hands on my hips, “I will not force you to leave if you have truly changed your mind. I will gladly indulge my selfishness and keep you here with me.” I smiled softly at him. “However, I think you should go. If not to appease your guilt, than to appease mine for keeping you from them for so long. When you return, we will handle whatever situation arises with Eitia, or any other trouble, for that matter.”  
“Promise me you will stay away from her.”  
“I promise.”  
“And that you will stay out of anything remotely dangerous.”  
“As best I can.”  
I scoffed, “Right, that’s like asking Thor to keep his voice down after a few mugs of ale.”  
He chuckled, pulling me a bit closer, “Hardly. More like asking you to wake before mid-morning.”  
“Funny.” I shoved him lightly. He retaliated by yanking me down onto him, coaxing a delighted laugh out of me. Sobering up, I held his face in my hands, taking in every detail as though for the first time. I missed my family; my mom, my sister, my dad and my brother. I missed my friends; Brittani, Quinn, Marlo. I knew I had to own up to leaving them. They would have a lot of questions and concerns, and might not understand, might criticize my choices. They might even doubt my reasoning for leaving in the first place, but as I looked at him, I knew I never would. And that was the only thing that mattered.

I clenched my phone tightly, trying to push down the disorientation that had overcome me. The sun was bright, but there was still a lingering chill in the air. The phone buzzed and I was reminded of what I was to do. Squinting, I shaded the screen with my hand so that I could read the message:  
Everything going well thus far?  
I smiled a little, despite my nervousness. It was beyond ridiculous to me to think of Loki texting. Something so mundane. He had refused to learn much of anything about midgardian technology back when we’d been living in the dorms and low-key despising each other. Although, perhaps the despising had had a part to play. Just a couple of hours prior, however, I had painstakingly taught him the basic functions so that we had a means of communication. It had only taken Tony twenty-six hours to figure out a way to connect the phones, with some rather unwanted help from Loki dealing with the other-reality-ness part. In the end we had a pair of phones that could send messages no matter where they were at, while still retaining connections to any other phone from their respective realities. Bruce had explained the technicalities of how it was possible (something about the stretching of the fabric of space and time?), but it was much too complicated for me to understand. To put it bluntly, I could message him, he could message me, and I could still message my family and friends.  
I quickly typed out a response:  
Just arrived. Haven’t found her yet. Will let you know when I do.  
The portal had been meant to drop me off wherever Brittani was. While I needed to chat with my family, I’d thought meeting up with Brittani first would be best. Mostly because she knew and believed the truth of everything, and because I needed her advice on how to explain to everyone else. However, upon arriving back in my home reality, I’d found myself in a sparsely populated parking lot. It looked to be in the city where I attended university, as I had spotted a statue of our mascot across the street, but it was a part of town I was unfamiliar with. I spun in a circle, trying to gauge where I was and what I should do next. There was a strip mall at the front of the lot that included an attorney’s office, a nail salon, and a thrift store. What would she be doing here?  
The sound of a car door slamming caught my attention. I turned to see what looked like Brittani’s red car sitting a few rows away from me. Someone had just gotten into it. Hoping for the best, I jogged towards it. As I approached, I was able to make out the name of our hometown’s county on the license plate. Yes. It was her. I came to a stop behind it and caught her gaze through the rearview mirror. I waved.


	28. Part Twenty-Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this chapter so many times, with so many different versions of events. This is probably the most tame version, but I think it fits best. I'm sincerely sorry for my extended absence, the past few months have been extremely difficult and I wasn't in a place where I could write. However, it is summer now, and I plan on making a full comeback.  
> If any of you are wondering, this story will go through Endgame, and end there. Although it will not go like the movie does (nor will it go like Infinity War).  
> Thank you for sticking around :)

My head was pounding, I could hardly concentrate anymore now that my parents had moved on to discussing what they should do with their miscreant child. My brother sat on the other couch, staring at me with something akin to disbelief.

He leaned forward, his forearms resting on his knees and his hands clasped in front of him, “Are you serious?”

“Deadly.” I replied, pressing the tips of my fingers into my temple to alleviate some of the pain.

“Well, what the fuck Nellie?”

“What do you mean ‘what the fuck’?” 

“You find out that the Marvel universe exists and you don’t tell me?”

Was everyone going to berate me for not clueing them in? I was getting very sick of this argument. I gave him an incredulous look, reverting to the nickname I used for him when I was trying to be The Oldest SiblingTM, “Bud, you don’t even believe in ghosts. You’re telling me you would have believed me if I had called you up and told you that it was all real?”

“If you’d brought me with you, I wouldn’t’ve had a choice.”

“Sorry, you have to be at least a high school graduate to become a vigilante.”

“Who needs school when you can go around punching people?”

“You and what superpower? You’d be called Brittle Bitch and you would’ve gotten yourself killed and then I would have to deal with all of that emotional baggage on top of the parental consequences.”

He leaned back in his seat, “Would have made for a great origin story.”

“I think being from another reality is sufficient enough.”

I caught my mom’s eye from where she stood by the kitchen table. She looked disappointed, but mostly, she looked scared. They’d been hesitant to believe my story when I first arrived. I’d spent the first hour just trying to convince them to listen to me long enough to finish it, and then another hour providing evidence. In the end, they’d come to realize I was telling the truth, but somehow, that had only seemed to make things worse. The ring had scared them when I’d shown them what it could so. They’d only stared blankly at the pictures I’d shown them.  
And it didn’t help that the much easier interaction I’d hoped to have with Brittani had been completely eviscerated. She’d barely wanted to speak to me. I’d been gone for two months, and in that time she’d come under fire by the police for my disappearance. When I’d found her in the parking lot, she’d just left a meeting with her lawyer. She hadn’t cared to hear my explanation, only wanted me to clear things up with the police. I was astounded to learn that my sudden disappearance had gone viral, and the consequences that Brittani and my family faced as a result were harsh. There was no peace, only the constant prodding of officials and media representatives alike. It had taken a whole day to get the worst of the situation cleared up, and then it was just facing my family and telling them the truth.

It wasn’t until later that night, at a very silent family dinner, that they asked the hardest question.

“What are you going to do next?”

I paused, staring down at my food intensely. I was starving, and still relished eating Earth food again, but after coming home even the thought of eating made me feel uneasy. So, I’d been mindlessly pushing mashed potatoes around my plate, narrowly avoiding the small mound of peas. I took a deep breath and steeled myself for what was going to come after I gave them my answer, “I’m going back.”

“Nellie.” My mom nearly dropped her glass of iced tea. A sharp thud sounded as it hit the table, “You can’t be serious.”

“You know, everyone keeps saying that even though I’ve given no indication of not being serious.” I finally looked up at them, my brows drawn together in a frown, “I know it’s a lot. I know. And I understand that you are overwhelmed, that you are scared--”

“You have no idea--”

“Dad,” I said firmly, “please, please just let me finish?”

Surprisingly, he fell silent. They all looked at me expectantly, even my sister, who had refused to talk to me since I had returned. I set down my fork and pushed away my plate, placing my palms flat against the tabletop as though to brace myself. Where do I begin? The explanation I’d given them thus far was missing a lot of crucial details about what I had done since leaving. I’d left out most of the close calls; namely, falling off the dock at Knowhere, both encounters with Odin’s lacky Hrothmund, and the warlord on Easik. And, I’d left out most everything that had to do with Loki. It was a controversial choice, I was aware, especially if, when, there was no more hiding it, which I knew would happen eventually. I just, I hardly believed they would accept him as a part of my life. For now they could maybe accept dropping out of college, living in another reality and becoming a masked vigilante that fought aliens and superhumans, but throw in dating a known villain with a bad rep for murder… Well, that would surely be out of the question, wouldn’t it? I wasn’t sure if I wanted to find out. For now, I’d just told them that we were friends. Which, technically wasn’t a lie.

“But this is what I want to do with my life. I have been given the extraordinary opportunity to do something no one has really ever done before. I get to be a part of something that we’ve only ever known as fiction. I get to fight evil, save people, see amazing places.” At this point I’d dropped most of my reserve, feeling a little giddy now. “You’ve seen the pictures I’ve shown you, seen what the ring can do. I may find myself in some bad situations, but I’m not helpless over there and I have friends who aren’t either. This, this is it.”

“How can you say that?” My sister spoke up for the first time, “You’re just going to leave this family? What about us? What about the life you have here? Do we even matter at all to you?”  
My heart dropped a little in my chest. I folded my hands in my lap. Loki and I had discussed this before I’d left; an answer to give them should this question arise, which, of course it would. It’d seemed like an easy answer until now, when I realized that there were parts of this new life of mine that I didn’t want them to know about.

“One hour here is about four and a half hours there, or so it seems based on how much time has passed.” I began, “I’ve thought about ways I could visit, or, better yet, you guys could visit; less missed time that way. When I say that I want to go back, I’m not saying I want to leave you all behind. Not by any means.” I said firmly, “Otherwise, why bother coming here?”

My brother’s eyes widened, “You mean I can come to the MCU?”

The excitement in his voice made me smile, and it felt like some of the tension in the room had fled, “Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.”

“Mom, mom, we have to. Do you realize how huge this is? I cou--”

“Would it be safe?” My mom cut him off.

I nodded slowly, “I would make sure of it. You wouldn’t be coming to their Earth, I’m sorry to say. There’s a lot of complications with that. Mostly with the spread of disease and everything that I told you about earlier. It would mean a lot of vaccinations and a lot of trouble that I don’t want to give Tony or any of them. I’ve already pushed my limits on favors, I think.”

“Where then?”

“Asgard is safest, and, to be honest, it’s probably where I’ll be most of the time anyway.”

“I’m going.” 

My dad sent my brother a disapproving look, but no one seemed totally against the idea, not even him. “We’ll think about it.”

I nodded once more, before hesitantly adding, “But understand, regardless of what you decide for yourselves, I will be going back. I have responsibilities there, things I am involved in, I’m not giving them up. If you decide not to visit, that’s fine, I will still visit you. Just know that I am going back. I’m an adult, and I’m the only one with the right to make this decision.”

That wasn’t as well received. I could feel the tension scurry back in like an unwanted pest, but my parents did not voice any objections. My sister had other thoughts, though.

“This is fucking ridiculous.” She stood from the table and pushed her chair in so hard that it slammed against the table, rattling the dishes that sat upon it. She sent me one last glare before disappearing into her room, her door making a loud bang that echoed down the hall.

 

I stood from my bed, glancing aimlessly around my childhood room, “How’s the transition of power going?”

“About as smoothly as can be expected.” Loki replied, his voice sounding a little staticky over the phone. Calls were never of the best quality, it seemed, but not much of a price to pay to speak between realities. I still didn’t understand how the time difference played out. “There is still trouble with Odin’s old guard, and Heimdall has mysteriously yet to re-emerge. I know not why he would continue to hide.”

“And the people?”

“Slow to accept, but little to no resistance, especially from the outer realms. The people there remember what we did for them.”

“Hmm, guess someone was right to take actions into their own hands.” I smirked.

I could sense the eye-roll, even in a completely different universe, “Let’s not be too quick to justify our actions, little bird. Many years were taken off of my life watching you put yours at risk.”

“Well, you have years to spare.” I quipped without much thought. Then, when I realized the implications of what I had said a split second later, I added, “What about the Warriors Three? Sif?” There were some things I didn’t have the energy to consider at the moment.

“Sent on an important mission. They know nothing as of yet.” He didn’t let on if he noticed. I still felt the need to push it far behind us. “Where?” I asked quickly.

“Kree territories.”

My eyes widened, “Not Hala, right?”

“No, of course not. Only the more weakly controlled ones; far from the center of their civilization. My grip on the throne is far too tenuous to court war should they be caught.”

“Right. Good. They’ll do some good.”

“How are things with your family?”

Brushing aside the curtains, I glanced out at the backyard. It was getting warmer outside, spring was in full-swing, and most of the trees were halfway to full foliage. It was weird, given I’d left behind a world that was in the midst of late fall, and would be going back to that in a few days. I sighed, “About as smoothly as can be expected. It took a lot to convince them, but I think they’re coming around. At least, most of them. My brother pretty much wants to live with us.” I laughed weakly, but I didn’t really feel it. “I think my parents are still trying to wrap their minds around it, and my sister won’t even talk to me.” I could feel tears welling up and I pulled the phone away from my ear for a moment to gather my wits. “She thinks that all I’m doing is destroying our family by leaving.”

He was quiet for a moment, “...Would you like for me to come there?”

I shook my head, turning away from the window and sitting back down on my bed, “No, no, you have enough to deal with. Leaving might put what control you have at risk.”

“Love, my mother is still here. She can handle whatever may arise in my absence.”

I shook my head more fervently, “No, it’s fine.”

“What are you afraid of?”

Those words cut me deeply, digging up everything I was afraid to tell my family and everything I was afraid to tell him. “All of it.”

Another moment of silence, then, “I will have to meet them eventually.”

My heart lurched up into my throat, “I know, I just--”

“I know, you needn’t explain.” I hoped I was imagining the hurt in his voice, but my mind wouldn’t let me believe it.

“Loki, I’m sorry. I love you, I trust you. It’s them, I don’t think they’ll understand.”

“No, I can’t imagine they would.”

I closed my eyes, “I’m sorry.”

“I am too.”

 

I sat nervously in a local coffee shop, clutching the warm, no, hot, mug of tea in both hands. This place always served their non-iced items hot enough to scald if you took a sip sooner than ten minutes after receiving one. It had been three days since I’d come home; two weeks for the others. I had tentative plans to return the next day, despite my parents’ subtle hints that I should stay for at least a week. Next to me, on the floor, the Iron Man movies poked out of my shopping bag. Alongside them were various other items I’d promised to other members of the team. For Ruth, pictures of the actors who played everyone so that she could compare them. In the few days after arriving at Stark Tower she’d warmed up to me considerably more, regaining some of her quirkiness, but only with some prompting. For Thor, a Thor figurine, one of the Funko brand ones. I’d felt bad for asking Thor what he wanted, as Eitia had overheard. She hadn’t said anything, but as I knew she had heard me, I immediately had turned and asked her if she’d wanted anything. She’d been beyond pleased that I ‘would be so generous’ and insisted that I get her whatever I thought best. A difficult feat, especially with thoughts of her turning murderous at some point lurking in the back of my mind, but in the end I’d decided on a beautifully made yellow journal where I figured she could write about all of her experiences on Midgard. Every time I looked at it I felt a heaviness rest on my shoulders, and was filled with a determination to prevent the future that hurt her so much.

The door to the cafe opened and my childhood friend Quinn walked in, shaking loose raindrops from her umbrella. I gave her an awkward smile and she returned it after a moment of what seemed like shock, though I’d invited her here. I motioned her over, dipping my head slightly to indicate the drink that sat across from me. I’d gone ahead and ordered her favorite as a gesture of goodwill. How she could drink an iced mocha in this weather I would never understand. After a moment of hesitation, she quickly made her way over. In the process, I realized what she was going for a stood just in time to catch her hug.

“You have a lot of explaining to do.” She said after finally releasing me from her grasp. We both sat down and she pulled her drink over to her. I laughed weakly, “What do you mean? I already told you the gist of it over the phone.”

“Nellie,” She leveled me with one of her trademarked looks, so filled with sass, “You know exactly what I mean. One night is not nearly long enough to process everything and there are still a lot of questions you need to answer.”

“Well, that’s why I invited you here. And to apologize.” I ran my finger over the rim of my mug, “I was, am, in the wrong. You deserved more than a short text and then radio silence.” I’d sent her the same text I’d sent my family, since she was basically like my sister. 

“Why didn’t you tell me? From the beginning? You know I love Marvel just as much as you do.”

I shrugged, looking out at the dreary sky, “I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I thought you wouldn’t believe me--”

“That’s bullshit.”

“You’re right. As always.” That evoked a small smile from her. “It was so unbelievable that talking about it felt impossible. I still don’t know how to broach the subject, even when I have readily available proof. It was just so fucking crazy that I couldn’t think of anything else. The only reason Brittani knew anything was because she was there.”

She nodded a little, “Okay, I guess I can believe that.”

I steadied myself, “What else would you like to know?”

She held up a finger, “Hold on, I have a list.”

We spoke for the next hour about everything she could think to ask. While I’d given her the same rundown I’d given my family over the phone, I now took the time to fill her in on every detail I’d kept from them. This meeting had dual purpose; it was to get one of my best friends back by apologizing sincerely, and it was to confide in someone the whole story, down to the most controversial parts. After my phone call with Loki the night before, I’d decided that I needed someone who knew everything, someone I could entrust with it all, who wouldn’t balk from the hard parts, who was basically family and had known me all my life, someone who might be able to understand. It was, somewhat, a way to test the waters of telling my family everything someday. And I meant everything.

My pulse jumped every time another person walked into the shop, and every time it wasn’t who I was looking for. If Quinn noticed me glancing over her shoulder, she didn’t say anything. Just as I was about to check my phone for a missed message or call, the door opened once more, and, funnily enough, behind a couple of girls I’d gone to high school with, was just the person I was waiting for. He was wearing an all black suit and raincoat, the top few buttons of his dress shirt undone. His hair had come a bit undone in the rain, with a few pieces escaping the slicked back style he preferred. A very good look overall. The girls glanced at him in curiosity; we were from a relatively small community, so strangers were easily spotted. He ignored them, his eyes meeting mine. I smiled nervously. He smiled back, the beloved dimple appearing. He was at our table before Quinn could turn to ask who I was looking at. He took a seat on the bench beside me.

“Quinn, there’s someone I would like for you to meet.”


	29. Part Twenty-Nine

“Yes, of course, mom, I know.” I held the phone up to my ear, hurrying down the hall, my boots clicking against the stone floor. It was too early to be having this conversation, but this was what came from having family in a completely different time zone-- or dimension. 

“Well, I understand it may be inconvenient, but that is the time that works best.” 

I took a deep breath to calm myself, “I get that. I do. But you guys have to work with me a little. Time passes much more quickly here, just an hour where you are will be a few hours here, plenty of time to see what he wants to see.”

“You and I both know he wants to stay longer than that. We would all like to stay--”

“Mom, I already told you. It’s easier to have just the one person right now, and I’m not choosing between you and dad. That’s not a fight I want to start.”

I passed a couple of Asgardian women, dressed in the silken gowns of the upper class. Overall, Asgard wasn’t a large civilization. Most of their “populace” resided on the realms they guarded over. However, there were enough here that a semi-simple class structure existed. There was, of course, the royal family and their cohorts at the top, then a small number of influential families, then some wealthy merchants, and then the lowest class, some of whom were employed at the palace as servants. 

The trademarked Asgardian pretentiousness was most heavily concentrated in the upper classes, as evident by the looks I received from the women as I passed them. It didn’t seem to matter that I was technically above them in status, being the, for lack of a better term, cohort of the king. I frowned, we really needed to find the correct term to describe our relationship. I’d tried mentally referring to it as dating, but that didn’t feel quite strong enough. Plus, calling him my boyfriend felt like I was in middle school all over again. It made me think I was dating my non-existent high school sweetheart rather than, well, Loki, god of mischief, ex-supervillain, king of Asgard. Courting might be a better term, but there were a lot of rules and structure that came with true “courtship” that we didn’t exactly follow. And then, what do you call the person you are courting? Really, thinking about it too much brought up a whole slew of complicated thoughts about what we were and what would come of us in the future that I did not want to think about at the moment.

My mom sighed, “Just, figure out if it can work and let us know.”

“Yes, I will, I promise.”

“And try to work out when your dad and I can come. We haven’t seen you since you came and explained everything. You promised--”

I caught sight of Aufryn as I came around the corner and waved her over, “Mom, I’m doing the best I can, please, just trust me. I have things to prepare, I’ll talk to you later. I love you, bye.”

I hung up the phone and quickly slipped in into my pocket, trying to focus on what needed to be done. Those dirty looks from the women had really thrown me off my game, bringing up things that I had been trying to bury deep, deep down.

“My lady?”

“Yes, sorry, Aufryn, could you have a room prepared in the east wing for a guest? One of the ones with an overview of the city, not any of the courtyards.”

“Of course, my lady. Anything else?”

I glanced in the direction that the women had gone, “No, that will be all. Thank you.”

She followed my line of sight and, after a moment, turned back to me, “They are only envious of your position.”

I swallowed, nodding my head almost imperceptibly, “I know.” I didn’t. They weren’t envious, they were pissed. A teensy little human had come into the picture and might take what they thought of as theirs. The joke was on me, I supposed, because I most likely wouldn’t ever be able to have what they were so afraid of me taking. Not something I wanted to think about.

Aufryn gave a small curtsey and then headed down the hall without another word, recruiting a young servant boy on her way. I watched her leave. I’d told her about half a dozen times that she needn’t curtsey, but denying such formalities here was evidently ruder than trying to place yourself on the same level, even at the request of a “superior”. I’d learned that the hard way. Now, some of the other handmaidens seemed to do everything in their power to avoid me because they were afraid of doing the wrong thing. Which kind of sucked, because if there was one group of people who didn’t treat me like the scum of the Earth, or Midgard, it was the palace servants. Most likely because they were all beholden to Frigga, but still. Although, in my defense, I wasn’t used to such strict etiquette. No one had practiced it with me during my first stay in Asgard. In fact, upon my first meeting with Frigga, she had insisted on me disregarding those same formalities. Which, in retrospect, filled me with wonder and surprise now that I knew how big of a deal they were.

I closed my eyes briefly, then continued on my way to the throne room.

When I arrived, Loki was just finishing up a meeting with the Warriors Three. Not in person, of course, as they were on a far, far away planet dealing with the thriving slave-trade. Their images flickered and then blinked out of existence as the meeting ended. I still found myself hesitating at moments like these, when I looked up at the throne and saw Odin’s persona. It brought back whispers of the terror I’d felt when I’d last faced Odin sitting on that very throne. In the blink of an eye he was gone, though, replaced by someone who alleviated those terrible feelings instantly. Although, that same someone brought up a couple of different unwanted feelings.

“How goes it?” I asked, slowly making my way up the steps of the dais. 

“It goes well,” he replied, holding the scepter of the king in his left hand. I took in the sight of him sitting on the throne; slightly reclined, leaning on one of the armrests.

“You know, I’m surprised they haven’t caught on yet.”

“And why is that?”

I shook my head, “Your posture is completely wrong.”

“Is it, now?” 

“Yes.” I let out a breath in amusement.

He stood suddenly, taking me by the waist and spinning us around so that our positions were reversed. Then he applied slight pressure to my shoulders so that I was the one sitting on the throne, “Do show me how it is done, then.” A playful smirk graced his face and I couldn’t help but comply, though not without an equally playful roll of my eyes.

I sat up completely straight, squaring my shoulders. I tried to sit all the way back in the seat, but if I did that, my feet didn’t touch the ground, which made me look like a child. Damn these Asgardians and their outrageous height. I settled with scooting an inch or two forward, resting both forearms on the armrests and, finally, crossing my legs. 

“I think something like this conveys much more power and respect.” I was only half-serious, but trying and failing to act completely serious.

“Extremely uncomfortable though, is it not?”

Hmm. He was right. I could see myself succumbing to back pain if forced to sit here too long, though, “The seat of power should never be comfortable.”

“Ooo, a wise ruler you would make.” He placed one hand on each armrest, leaning in close, “I would swear fealty to you, my queen.”

The back of my neck prickled and my heart jumped into my throat at his last two words. I leaned in closer as well, now only a hairsbreadth apart from him, “What’s stopping you?”

His answer was closing the distance between us and placing a fervent kiss on my lips, which was a perfectly acceptable answer in my book. It took Frigga clearing her throat to get us to realize that someone else had entered the room. I knew I was red from the tips of my ears down to the ends of my toes the moment we pulled apart and I saw her standing there with an amused look on her face. Loki, shameless as ever, merely straightened his sleeves and bowed his head in her direction, “Mother.”

“Loki.” The glint in her eye was an near exact replica to the one that appeared at times in the green of Loki’s eyes, the embodiment of barely contained delight. She nodded at me, “My dear.”

I stood quickly from the throne, clasping my hands in front of me, “Frigga.” The urge to use her proper title was only barely repressed. In an embarrassing moment like this I wanted so badly to regain some semblance of dignity and graciousness, and falling back on those tricky formalities always seemed like the fastest way to do so. Maybe now I better understood them.

“The lords of Vanaheimr are here to meet with you. Should I ask them to wait outside a moment?”

“Yes, thank you. I will be with them shortly.”  
She nodded once more, a poorly hidden smile brightening her features, and turned back, exiting the room.

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding, “I thought she was on Earth?”

“She was, but the Vanir are her people. I imagine she wanted to be here during the delegations.” He turned back towards me, “Speaking of Earth, are you still going for a visit?”

“Yeah, just a short one. I’m still ironing out the details of my brother’s visit here, but it looks like it will be a few days from now, so..” I trailed off, knowing there was no need to finish my sentence.

“Not your parents?”

I hesitated, “They… I just don’t think they’re ready.”

He sighed and placed a kiss on my temple, “I have to go.” I watched as he disappeared out the doors of the throne room, his head held high but his shoulders tensed. This couldn’t go on much longer.

 

“Tony.” I said as I walked into the lab at Stark Tower, my way of announcing my presence. He was crouched over some metal contraption on the floor, the beginnings of an engine, his back towards me. He held out his hand. I rolled my eyes and placed the green juice I always brought for him in it. He took a sip and set it on the floor, still focused in on what he was doing. The place was more of a mess than usual, with paper blueprints and scraps of metal littering every available surface. I strolled over to the workbench I knew to have the prints I had brought him weeks ago on it, taking a sip of my iced coffee.

“Where’s Bruce?”

“Sleeping.”

“Ruth?”

“No idea.”

“Thor?”

“Jane. I thought we agreed no unnecessary talking?”

I sat down in a nearby chair, pushing lazily with my foot so that I spun in a slow circle, “I thought we agreed that I bring you things and you put up with me.”

His shoulders moved as though he had laughed or scoffed, though I wasn’t sure which. I was just glad he didn’t kick me out. I needed some time spent away from Loki and my family.

“How’s the engine coming along?”

“Great. Would be better if Asgardians didn’t have different names for everything, I mean,” he turned, holding up a small metal plate with several wires layered over it, “do you know the name they use for this?”

“Not the first time I’ve heard that complaint.” I remarked, thinking about my first encounter with some members of the Guardians, then squinted at what he was holding, “And no, I don’t even know what we call it.”

He let out a breath of air in bemusement and more closely inspected the item. I stopped my slow spinning and checked over the prints again. At his request, I’d taken some construction plans for a ship from Asgard. One of the many things Earth technology still lacked was adequate space travel, and since the Battle of New York Tony had obsessed over making sure Earth was prepared for the next attack. One of his goals was a ship that could travel quickly and effectively beyond our solar system. It was completely reasonable to me. “Do you think you’ll have it done at the same time as the facility?”

“Not likely, at this rate.”

“I wish I could help you out more, but I wouldn’t be able to find anyone. Not with the technology deal with Eitia and what’s-his-face still in the wor--”

“Kid, genius intellect, remember?” He tapped his temple and stood up, turning the object over and over again in his hands, “I’ll get it soon. Hopefully we won’t need it before then.” What I’d done by giving Tony the prints wasn’t actually allowed. Eitia was in the midst of working out a deal with the ambassador to Asgard, a man whose name I could never remember, but it wasn’t looking great. Asgardians were pretty protective of their technology, and even if Eitia was all for sharing, she had to represent the wants of the people, and the people were saying no. Loki was far too busy to have had a chance to weigh in on the deal, what with problems arising in the other eight realms. So it was sort of a top secret project that only a few of us were in on.

“If that’s the case, you can use our ship. It’s not equipped for a fight but it’ll get ya where you need to go.”

“Where is JD anyway, Veronica?”

“Ooo, I think that one’s my favorite.” I remarked, sarcasm dripping from my voice like honey, “A musical reference? Didn’t think you were cultured enough for that one.”

“Excuse me, I am very cultured.” 

“Sure.” I rolled my eyes, “Loki’s busy. Besides, none of you like him and make that very clear when he is around.”

“Well, when you lead an alien army to destroy the planet, feelings tend to get hurt.”

“Yeah, yeah…” I shook off his comment, knowing that arguing about it was pointless. I’d tried several times previous.

He came to stand across the table from me, shoulders angled slightly off to the side and eyes focused on something off to my right, so that he didn’t appear too interested, “So, make any progress on your magic spell?”

He still didn’t take the idea of magic very seriously, evident by his tone of voice. I gave him a look before replying, “A little. I don’t have that much time to work on it when I’m not here, so,” I shrugged, “but I think knowing the mechanics of how it could work, technically speaking, helps a lot. Do you think you could explain it again? In layman’s terms?”

“Sure, kid.”

“Thanks, dad.”

He sent me a glare that could freeze even a frost giant in their tracks. I merely smiled back at him sweetly. The spell might not be able to alleviate that kind of cold, but a little charm might.

 

I reached up, letting the armor spread from the ring at the last second, and caught the knife. Within half a second, I had shattered it, the scales of the armor lifting, the crevices between them glowing with a orange-red light as they absorbed the energy of the action.

“That,” Loki said, approaching from across the room, “is cheating.”

“That’s actually called being resourceful.” I retaliated, dropping what was left of the weapon onto the ground. I turned my hand over, inspecting the scales as though they hid secrets. I was sure they did, and I was also sure I was on my way to discovering them. I retracted the armor.

“Not if those resources won’t be available to you in an actual fight.”

“Yes, but it’s hardly fair. I can train all I want, but I can’t win when my attacker is, like, twenty times stronger even without the decades of training they’ve received.” I gave him a pointed look, making it clear I was referring to him.

He grinned, “You just have to be more clever than 

“More clever than them?” I patted him on the cheek as I walked past him to grab my phone where it lay on the bench that was pressed up against the end of the bed, “I didn’t think your ego would let you even suggest such a thing as being possible.”

“It was quite painful to speak aloud.” 

I couldn’t help the little laugh that escaped me, looking away from my phone before I’d had the chance to check for a message so that I could meet his eyes, “I hate you.”

He smiled that smile, the one that conveyed so much mischief and devilry, “Oh, I’m aware.” I couldn’t look away from him, setting my phone back down having never even checked it, “I think there are other ways to defeat such a foe.”

“Do tell.”

“All you have to do is tell them they can’t do something, and then they’ll do it out of spite.” I explained, taking a step closer to him with each word.

“Hmm, I think you’re confusing your tactics.”

“I am?”

“Yes, that particular method is how I trick you into listening to me.”

I scoffed, pausing in my advance, “It’s not a trick if I know about it.”

“Yet,” he closed the distance, “you fall for it every time.”

“No, I fall for you every time.” 

He leaned in, but stopped short when he realized I was holding a blade an inch from his throat.

“I think seduction is the best way, though.”

He brushed my hand away, “That’s still cheating.”

I mimicked his smile from earlier and kissed him slowly, gently.

My phone buzzed on the bench, and I stepped away to check it. I had received the text from my brother that I had been waiting for. I tucked my phone into my pocket, “It’s time.”

He took a deep breath, the question posed without him needing to speak any words. I shook my head, “He doesn’t, but I’m going to tell him tonight.”

“Are you?”

“Yes.” I answered. This had become a point of contention between us, and it was eating me away from the inside out. We’d discussed my family visiting many times since I’d come back a few months ago. At first, my fears about them knowing the truth had stemmed from the chance they wouldn’t accept him. Now, though, they had begun to stem from somewhere else. A place that lay much closer to my heart.

A mix of conflicted emotions crossed his face, but he took my hand in his, “Just know that I want things to go well with your family. We haven’t had the greatest success with mine--”

“Two out of three is pretty good.”

“Not when the third attempts to murder you.”

“Fair point, although we shouldn’t rule out one of my parents wanting to murder you.”

“Is that a joke?”

I thought of the many times my dad had loudly exclaimed to my sister and me that any boy who dared make us cry would be left in tears by him. Not an idle threat to the barely grown, small-town punks who populated our neighborhood. To Loki it would be an absolutely ridiculous statement. However, likely all the more intentioned given he was in possession of a bad reputation that included a lot of lying, and attempted patricide and world domination. I doubted my parents could overlook his title of trickster, and as such, he would always be a danger to my wellbeing in their eyes. To put it bluntly, it might not have been a joke.

“Kind of.”

He frowned, “Regardless, your family is important to you, and so they are important to me. Them knowing the truth is necessary.”

“This coming from the god of lies.”

He dropped my hand, and I realized I’d gone too far in trying to brush off his concerns. “I’m sorry. I just, I’m nervous. I’m scared. I don’t want things to go badly.”

“I don’t either, but the longer you wait, the worse it will be.”

“I know.” I did. I was just hoping that with time what lay ahead of us would become clearer, so I would know if it was even worth telling my parents in the first place. For now, though, I would concede. I would tell my brother. 

 

“What do you think?”

My brother, who usually went by Matty, stood at the entryway, looking out over the city. The sun was beginning to set, and the buildings were bathed in a heavenly gold light. The palace itself glowed like a gem at its center, and the Rainbow Bridge had revealed its full spectrum of colors.   
Breathtaking. 

“I think, this can’t possibly be real.” He said, still facing away from me, towards the city. I walked up next to him, taking in the sight myself, “Yeah, but it is.”

We spent another minute or two admiring the view, our silence broken when he turned towards me, “What haven’t you told us?”

“What?” I asked, my heart rate increasing.

He grimaced, gesturing towards the city, “Come on, Nellie, there’s something here you’re not telling.”

I spun on my heel, thoughtfully meandering back into the building that stood at the end of the Bifrost. We’d decided that portal travelling should be done here, for the most part. In case anything went wrong and to keep away prying eyes. Skurge, still standing at the central command, looked up at me from his mindless spinning of Heimdall’s sword. I motioned for him to leave. He bowed his head, quickly stepping down and immediately dropping the sword. It clattered to the ground loudly. I tried to keep my composure as he scrambled to snatch it back up, bowing his head once more, “My lady.” He hurried off.

Matty raised one brow as he followed me further into the building, “Like that. ‘My lady’?”

“They’re very strict on formality here.”

“C’mon, you’re not great at keeping secrets.”

I hummed in response, still trying to figure out how to word what I wanted to say. You’d think after having months to think about it, I would have it all figured out, but I’d always been a procrastinator.

“You can trust me.”

“I know.” I gave him a half smile before taking a deep breath, “Let’s see, I’ve had a lot more close calls then what I told mom and dad.”

“Well, yeah, even they know that.”

“What?”

“It’s what they talk about after you get off the phone with them. They know you’ve probably been in danger more often than you’re saying.”

“Alright, then.” I shrugged, wondering if them realizing the truth before I told them was better or worse than finding out only when I told them.

Either way, they’d likely bring it up soon. “I guess I have that conversation to look forward to.”

Matty glanced back at the city briefly, “I’m more interested in the obviously much bigger secret.”

I frowned, cocking my head slightly to the side, “Something tells me you already have some suspicions.”

“Listen, I’m not an idiot. Mom and dad may be because they don’t know as much about the MCU, but I do. There’s no way in hell Odin would be allowing you to live here, let alone be letting you bring visitors whenever you want.”

“You’re right.” I replied after a long pause.

“So who’s king right now? Thor or is it like after Thor: The Dark World?”

I hesitated, “Malekith is long dead.”

“So, Loki, then? Is that what you’re saying?” He prompted. I nodded in response. He crossed his arms over his chest, “Is that who you were talking to on the phone when you first came home?”

My eyes widened, “You heard that?” Damn, I was way too accustomed to having spellwork keep my conversations with Loki private. And I’d completely forgotten how thin the walls of my childhood bedroom were.

“A little bit. I thought you had to have been talking to someone from home, because how would you be talking to someone from here?” He gestured to the high golden ceilings and intricate carvings, strengthening his point with how otherworldly they were. His eyes narrowed as he frowned, “But now I think I understand.”

“You do?”

He nodded slowly, thoughtful, “Yeah.”

I waited anxiously for him to say more, for him to elaborate on what his thoughts were. What conclusion had he reached? Did he really understand what was going on here? Did I need to speak the words out loud in order to clarify, or would it be redundant? We sat in silence for a minute or two while I stalled. Finally, it seemed he could wait no longer, “So… does that make you queen, then?”

Yikes, I hadn’t been expecting the question to be phrased that way. My queen. The title thrown about so carelessly when it held such heavy implications; the thing that had been eating away at me. “No, not queen. Not yet. Maybe…” ‘Not ever’ was what I wanted to finish that with, but I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. I sat down on the steps leading up the central control for the Bifrost, the weight of my thoughts too much to bear while standing.

Matty appeared to be able to tell I was conflicted, and that it wasn’t a subject I wanted to discuss. He sat down next to me, “This is so much better than I thought it was going to be.”

“What?”

“I mean, you’re basically in charge around here, and I’m your much more competent brother, so that basically means I’m in charge around here.”

I laughed, “Matty, no.”

“Does this mean everyone has to call me ‘lord’?”

“You’re not in charge.”

“Lord Brittle Bitch has an interesting ring to it.”

“Oh my God, stop.”

 

Part 30


End file.
